One Step At A Time

Jo was so surprised by his authoritarian appearance that she actually forgot to continue to cry. “Did you hurt her? Or lock her into her closet?”

Liam chuckled. “No but not a bad idea. I just gave her a piece of my mind and I don’t think she liked it.” Liam kissed her on the top of her head.

Jo let Liam drive, while she was rather quiet.

They were back and Jo went upstairs into their newly finished bedroom of their flat at the top floor. Liam followed her, not because he felt like Jo very tired but because he was worried about her.

“Don’t go away.” Jo looked at him with big pleading doe eyes at her husband.

“I’m right here.” Liam said gently. He climbed into bed and pulled Liam into his arms. Her head was resting on his chest, while he was playing with her hair.

“Maybe they are right, and it would be best if I have an abortion.”

Jo was surprised that she felt Liam stiff under her.

“Are you saying this because you want this abortion for you or because it would just stop the others to nag on you?” Liam tried to sounds very calm, but Jo could tell that there was something in his voice, something she couldn’t name yet.
For a moment she thought about what he had asked.

“I don’t want to have one but everyone is mad at me, and you are scared that I stop loving you which I not and as much as I love the little one I don’t wanna cause all this trouble.” Jo whispered. Liam knew that this was the wrong reason for an abortion. He took the stethoscope form his nightstand. He rubbed the end of it that it was warm when he pushed it under Jo’s shirt and placed the ear pieces in Jo’s ears.

“Listen to this and try to figure out what is best for you, and then we work out that everyone else fits in the picture.”

Jo was silent for a few moments until panicked and whispered. “I can’t hear a heartbeat.”

Jo looked scared at Liam. At this moment she knew that even if no one wants to be happy for her and Liam she was happy, they were having a family. “Liam?!”

No, she must be wrong. There was a heartbeat, he knew there was. He listened to it already a couple of times. It couldn’t just stop like that…
Of course it could just stop like that, but he didn’t want to think about it.

“Liam, I can’t hear anything!” Her voice got louder and she grew pale.

Without looking at her directly he took the earpieces and put them in his ears while he moved the other end of the stethoscope on her belly, this time less gentle than he usually did. And there it was, the heartbeat of the little one. He sighed with relief.
“I can hear it.” He looked up slowly.

Jo looked relieved as well, but there was something else in her eyes. “Why can’t I hear it, Liam? Why can you hear it and I can’t?”

“Don’t be silly, I’m not the only one who can hear it. You already heard it at the doctor’s, and I’m not sure why you didn’t hear it a few moments ago, but I guess the stethoscope wasn’t placed at the right spot on your belly, it probably slipped or something without us noticing it. Here, listen to this…” He put the earpieces back into her ears again and could see how her face relaxed as she heard the baby’s heartbeat.
While she listened to the heartbeat he thought about what she said earlier about the abortion. If he thought about it, it would solve the problem. They would literally get rid of the problem and could continue living the life they had planned when they got married. He wouldn’t have to worry that Jo would stop loving him in a few months’ time. Their life would be so much easier. And right now it wasn’t too late to turn things around and to get rid of the problem. The bigger Jo’s belly became, the bigger became their problem, and the more complicated their life would be. It was so easy, and so tempting to get rid of the problem. He could even pretend that nothing ever happened…but Jo couldn’t, and he knew that.
And it had a heartbeat. That little thing inside of her had a heartbeat, and if they would make it go away, so would the heartbeat, and he no longer could listen to it. And he knew he would miss listening to it, which was a thought that annoyed him, because he did not want to miss the heartbeat, but he knew he would. Their life could be so much easier if they would deal with the problem as soon as possible and get rid of it…but he knew he would hear that heartbeat even ten, twenty, fifty years from now. It may be easy to get rid of that thing inside of her, but it was not easy to get rid of the heartbeat that he heard in his head, even when he wasn’t using the stethoscope. He could still hear it, and he would hear it in the future as well, always reminding him of that one little, yet huge problem they got rid of.
“You know…sometimes it sounds like two heartbeats”, Liam said quietly. “I think it’s the echo of your heartbeat, but once in a while, when I listen very closely, it does sound like two heartbeats.” He smiled weakly. “Keep it, okay?”

“You want me to keep her?”, she asked as if she didn’t believe what he just said.

He knew that by letting her keep the baby he would lose her, not entirely, but a big part of her. And he knew that the baby would never love him as much as it would love its mother, but that was okay, he didn’t want to love it anyway, so it would only make it harder for him if it loved him. He knew that it would change everything and them included, and things would never be like they used to, and Jo would never love him like she used to. But there was one other thing that he knew, and that was that he wanted to listen to the heartbeat for as long as possible.

Jo loved their new bedroom. It was finally not her old room, or a guest room but the bedroom of her husband and her.
It was a week since they had been at Jo’s parent’s house and they haven’t heard from them, but somehow it was okay.
Liam was that morning with some of the construction workers he had found some issues in the school laboratory, he wanted to get fixed right away. Jo was bored and since she and Lorelai had more or less made up she went to see her.

“Lorelai.” Jo said shyly, her cousin that was brushing a big dun horse.

“Hey Josey.” For a moment a dark shadow passed over Lorelai’s face, but then she smiled. “I heard that you gave Aunt Elizabeth a heart attack?”

“Yeah she wasn’t too happy.” Jo mumbled.

“How are you feeling? And when are you due?”

“I’m feeling great, the morning sickness finally seemed to have stopped. And I’m due May second.”

“So what are you doing here on this lovely morning?”

“Does Lion need some exercise?”

Not until now Lorelai noticed that Jo was wearing her riding clothes.

“He would love to let you fly, Josey.” Lorelai smiled, petted the neck of the horse she had been brushing. “Let me help you, Liam would kill me if he knew I let you saddle a stallion.”

Jo liked spending time with Lorelai again. “Is it that bad to be a mom?” Jo asked sounding a little scared.

“No it is not bad, often I love it but there are moments I wish I had a little more time with John alone before the boys came along.”

“Do you love John less now that the boys are there?”

“What? No. Why?”

“Liam is scared that I stop loving him, as soon the baby is born.”

“Does the boy know you? As if you could ever stop loving him, he is your soul mate. And I’m pretty sure that each time you see your child you see everything it has from Liam.”

Jo smiled. “Yeah, I hope she has Liam’s eyes.”

“She?”

“I’m pretty sure that the baby is a she. Liam says it is too early to tell but I’m certain it is a girl.”

Lorelai giggled. “Good I hope so too we need some more girls around here.”

Jo got on Kaiser Franz der Fliegende and together they flew over the fields of Waterfall Downs. Jo loved to fly again with her favourite horse, and she didn’t stop until she saw Liam on the terrace having lunch.

“Noble Sir, may I join you for lunch?” Jo asked still sitting on Lion.

Liam almost choked on his water when he saw his wife on this huge, freaking horse. He had never been in need of glasses because his eyes worked just fine, but for a second he thought that he didn’t see quite right.
“Are you out of your mind?” He got up. “Get down from that…thing!”

“Relax, Liam, it’s just a horse.”

“It’s a bloody death trap for both you and the baby.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s completely fine.”

“Like hell it is! Get down, now!” He didn’t want to sound bossy, but he couldn’t help it. He was pretty sure that pregnant women shouldn’t ride horses.

“Okay, okay! I was already on it…” Jo rolled her eyes while she carefully climbed down from Lion. “Lorelai had assured me that it is okay to ride a horse, and I think she knows a little more about that than you. You neither have any clue about horses nor have you ever been pregnant, so you should trust someone who has.”

Liam stared suspiciously at that big horse-thing. He was never fond of horses, they were so big, and there were always flies stuck to them, and they drooled non-stop, and had this really weird smell, plus he was allergic to hay, and he felt like sneezing everytime he just looked at a horse.
Jo tied Lion to the railing of the porch and walked up to Liam who still eyed the horse as if he thought of ways to kill it.
“It’s okay, daddy, you don’t have to worry about us”, she said while she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. “We’re fine, aren’t we, little one?”

Liam wanted to remind her that he was not –and never would be- more than the biological father, so the word ‘daddy’ was not something made for him, and not something he would ever want the child to call him. Not if he wanted it to be safe…
“Do you really have to do horseback riding in your condition?”

“In my condition? You make it sound like I’m physically completely disabled.” She sat down and grabbed one of the bread rolls.

“It’s just…well, you know your mother’s history with miscarriages, and you really don’t need to provoke it.”

“Again, it is completely fine that I ride a horse, it doesn’t do anything to me or the baby. You really need to relax a bit.” Yes, it was a bit annoying that he was so bossy, but she also thought it was cute because that only showed that he cared, not only about her, but also about the baby, even if he didn’t really admit it. It was just his own way of showing it, without having to say anything particular. “Besides, I’m going mental if I can’t do horseback riding. I just love it too much. What would you do if I forbid you to go in your lab for the next months?”

Liam thought for a moment. “Ehm…I guess I would find something else that would keep me entertained.” If it hadn’t been for that cheeky grin that suddenly appeared on his face, she wouldn’t have known what he was thinking, but that grin gave him away.

She cleared her throat. “Actually, I don’t think I want to know what you would do…”

“What?” He crossed his arms behind his head and blinked innocently. “A guy needs to find a way to keep himself entertained, right?”

Jo shook her head. “Oh Lord, what strange creature did I marry?”

“We should probably start working on a nursery”, Liam said suddenly out of nowhere.

“A nursery?” Jo looked surprised at him, not because that suggestion was weird, but because it came from him.

“Yeah, a baby needs to have a room on its own, right?” When he noticed how she looked at him he quickly cleared his throat. “Besides, I don’t want it in our room, I can’t have sex with you while it is watching us, that’s…weird.” He didn’t want her to get the impression that he thought of such things as nurseries.

Jo took a few sausages and piled salad on her plate, while she thought about starting the work on a nursery. Liam watched her and looked once in a while at the horse as if it would yup on the terrace and would hurt Jo or the baby.

“Maybe we wait little bit longer until we start the nursery, I mean I love that you think of the baby and I agree I don’t want her to sleep in our bedroom, but I also don’t wanna challenge the luck and start the nursery and then something happens to the little one.”

Jo knew that Liam didn’t believe in luck, but Liam for once just nodded he was too occupied to watch the horse. Jo smiled she really loved to see how much he cared for the baby even when he was not showing it, and she knows him well enough that he doesn’t see himself as a daddy but she knew that their child would love him as a daddy. While Liam was distracted with Lion she took her plate and fork walked around the table and sat down on Liam’s lap. “I love you forever and ever.” She whispered leaning her head against his shoulder. Liam was surprised by the sudden closeness but he liked it, spending the morning without her made him miss her and he knew too well that those days of her overwhelming love to him came to an end and he had to absorb every second of it to make it through a life without it.

“Would you like to walk Lion back to the stables with me later?” She whispered, eating her sausage with her salad.

“Sure as long as you are not riding him again!” He sounded harsh, so harsh that she looked up. She saw in his eyes the well hidden concern about her, Jo kissed Liam.

“I’ll promise that I won’t.” If that was the way how Liam would show her the next months how much her care for her and the baby that she would do everything he said even when he tells her she has to stay in bed all day. Liam wrapped his arms around her and suddenly looked intensely down at her cleavage. “Your boobs are bigger!”

“What?” Jo looked embarrassed down at herself.

“Oh man I love it you are getting bigger boobs.” Liam grinned widely but Jo got up back on her own chair and mumbled. “I guess.”

“What?” He was a bit confused that she went back to her chair and stared at her plate. “You’re not upset, are you?”

“No.”

“I mean…that was some sort of compliment, you know?”

“Yes.” She still avoided looking at him, and he knew her well enough that something was going on.

“What’s the problem then?”

She finally looked up. “Is that seriously all you can think of?”

“What?”

“That my boobs grow! That’s the only thing you care about right now, isn’t it?”

“Ehm…no, your health is actually more important to me…”, he replied dryly.

She sighed. “I know that, but still…you don’t even notice that you kind of objectify me.”

“What? No!”

“Yes, you do. You talk more about my boobs than about me, I’m surprised you haven’t given them names yet.”

Oh, that’s a good idea…Don’t say that aloud!
“Come on, Jo, you’re reading too much into this. Yes, it’s true that I like looking at them…and do other stuff with them, but that doesn’t mean that I objectify you.”

She shook her head slightly. “Don’t get too excited about the fact that they get bigger, because they will get smaller after the pregnancy, and then let’s see if you still want me…”

“What? That’s ridiculous!” Liam sighed. “That has absolutely nothing to do with your boobs. The past years they’ve not been really big and I still wanted you, didn’t I? I’m not defining you over your boobs.”
Well, he was really, really fond of them and was really excited that they got bigger, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in her anymore when they would get small again. And did they seriously have an argument about her boobs? God, pregnant women could be so…difficult sometimes!
Jo finished her meal quietly and then got up. “I’ll bring Lion back to the stables.”

“I’ll come with you.” He got up as well and followed her, although he kept distance from that horse. The animal seemed to sense that Liam didn’t like him, but so did most animals. Liam never hid that he generally wasn’t fond of animals, but he most certainly was fond of his wife who had her shoulder turned towards him and stroked softly over Lion’s mane.
Liam wanted to say something, but he couldn’t help staring at her butt that was very nicely emphasised in those tight riding trousers. It was a reflex, he couldn’t help himself, but his hand automatically wandered down to her butt.
“This one is growing too…” He didn’t mean it in a bad way, he really liked what was happening with her body, but she turned around and looked furiously at him.

“You’re an insensitive idiot, you know that?”

“What? Can’t I give you a compliment without you getting upset about it?”

“You call that a compliment?”

“Hey, you were the one complaining that I define you over your boobs, but I just complimented your really pretty bum as well and you get all upset about it. What else do you want me to do?”

“Just forget about it.” She shook her head and focused on Lion.

Jo didn’t unsaddle Lion since she figured that it would worry Liam when she lifts and carries the saddle. Liam didn’t walk too far into the stable, he already felt uncomfortable because of the hay.

“Hey daddy to be.” Lorelai hugged Liam and looked at him.

“What’s up? You look miserable. Is everything okay with Josey?” Lorelai asked gently.

“Jo’s boobs finally started growing. But she doesn’t like it.”

Lorelai looked surprised at him. “Did you say it like this to her?”

“Erm, yeah kind of.”

“Oh Liam! You still don’t understand Jo sometimes. Let me tell you something. Shortly before I introduced you and Josey, it was me who told her everything about sex including her own body. Well you know Elizabeth by now well enough. She is a very religious woman and she made sure that Josey was scared enough of hell and many other punishments. Like the punishment for touching herself her mother once poured boiling water over her hands. Don’t you understand how much trust it took her into you to be close with you, to kiss you, to love you, to have sex with you before you were married. Did you never notice that she never looks into a mirror when she is naked? Even though she knows her mother is, well maybe not wrong but her views are too extreme those views were right and if Josey disobeys them she would get punished strictly. Ask her what the scare on her right wrists are from, but ask gently. You have to be more sensitive about Josey’s looks. She is scared of her own body, and further she is scared that you get used to big boobs and some other curves and later see nothing but a flat unattractive girl in her. Please Liam, I don’t say don’t say anything about her looks just be gentler. And ask her about the small scars on her wrist.” Lorelai looked sincere at Liam. She meant it all very helpful and not in a bad way at all. And maybe she should have told Liam a long time ago that Jo never had the loving and sweet mother as he seemed to have.

Jo was in the back of the stable sitting on a hay bale and looking down at herself. Liam only had noticed her growing boobs when he held her close so that gave her some hope that they were not yet visible different under the jumper. Very shy as if it was not her own body she touched them to feel if her boobs were bigger. She shivered when she realised that very soon she needed new bras because the one she was wearing was nearly too small. While she was hugging her knees as she often did when she was scared or very sad her look fell on her right wrist bones and the small scares reminded her of a punishment from a long time ago.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to no one in particular, or maybe someone just not explainable.

Although Liam hated the stables and already felt his eyes tear up the closer he got, it didn’t stop him from going in. He needed to talk to Jo and apologize for his behaviour. After Lorelai had told him what Jo’s mother did to her, he felt even worse for being so insensitive to her. She was partly right, he did sometimes objectify her, although he never did it on purpose, but as soon as he saw her he felt how much his body wanted her, and sometimes he forgot that she wasn’t only that, but there was so much more to her.
She sat on a hay bale and mumbled something to herself that sounded as if she was apologizing to someone. But it wasn’t her turn to apologize for anything, it was his. He walked to her and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her.
“Jo, I’m sorry.”

She looked surprised, she hadn’t expected him being anywhere close to a stable full of hay.

“You do know that I care about you as a person, right? Your boobs are just a nice addition, but not the reason why I…ehm…care about you so much. I just often mess up and give you the wrong impression, I’m really sorry.”

She didn’t say anything, she just snuggled closer to him and leaned her head against his shoulder while his hand wandered to hers and slightly lifted it, so that he could take a closer look of the scars that Lorelai was talking about. “Jo?”

“Hm?”

“How did you get the scars?”

She almost flinched when his finger wandered over her wrist.

“Lorelai didn’t tell me exactly what happened, but she pointed it out to me. I know you’ve been punished by your mother for everything that appeared ‘sinful’ to her, which is totally ridiculous in my opinion, but well…” His fingers rested on her hand. “What happened to you there?” He remembered that he sometimes- or always- tended to ask a bit too frankly, so he added: “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

Jo closed her eyes, a part of her always wanted to tell him how her mother punished her, but another part just wants to forget it. She slipped down from the hay bale trying to disturb it as less as possible since she already saw Liam’s eyes tearing up. “Not here.” She took his hand and lead him outside the stable where she first brushed off Liam’s clothes so he could breath better and then hers, both times with the wind so Liam was not having more difficulties. They walked slowly back to Waterfall Downs, when Liam pulled her on a stone to sit in the last rays of warm sunshine.

“Promise me something.” Jo whispered, snuggled back into his arms again.

“Everything.”

“Don’t interrupt me and don’t laugh even when you think something is ridicules.”

Liam remembered another time she has asked him not to laugh and he did laugh. “I’ll try.”

“Okay. Erm. When I was a little girl, like really little not older than five…” Jo was only whispering and pressing her body tight against Liam’s, and Liam was gently rubbing her wrist as if he wanted to make the pain from the past go away. “I was curious about everything and I wanted to learn faster than my brain let me, and one day I was sitting in my room when Mother came in. Maybe I should mention that Mother already then had a strong opinion what I need to know about well all… erm… sex…” Jo blushed when she said that word. “… related. I knew babies come from God and that was pretty much it. I didn’t even know that boys and girls look different. It was a hot day, and I was allowed to go in the pool, when I was sent back upstairs to get dressed for dinner I asked if I can try to get dressed on my own. Anne said yes, that’s why I was alone in my room when mother came in. I was naked and… sitting in front of my big mirror and looking at myself. Not my face though more at the rest of my body and I have a picture from a naked woman leaning against the mirror. I don’t even know from where I got this but I had it. I touched myself not in a really sexual way it was just the curiosity of a child. I read it in a book that it is normal for children, but mother she was furious. I never got hit by her but she screamed herself horse. I got terrified and dressed as quickly as I could. I don’t know who but someone from our servants came up and spanked me badly, I wasn’t able to sit for two weeks and… as a reminder of the sin Mother tied a string around my wrist tight that it hurt but not too tight that it cut of the blood flow. I’m not sure how long it was tied around my wrist but it was long enough to cut into my flesh. I never dared to touch or look at myself in the mirror again. Not until I spend a week with Lorelai not long before I met you. I… she taught me everything I needed to know.” Jo fell silent for a moment. “That’s why it hurts me when you objectify me, it feels like the ribbon around my wrist and I don’t know what to do about it. It scares me Liam that after all those years you can put back the ribbon back around my wrist with nothing but a few words. I mean believe me I know she is wrong. I don’t think it is as sinful as she wanted me to believe but…” Jo broke off her voice was trembling and she was shivering so far she managed not to cry but the memory scared her a lot. “Can we go home? Please?”

“Sure.” Liam suddenly got up, not even taking Jo’s hand and helping her up. In fact, he didn’t dare to touch her, not after what she just said. Not after she pointed out that he was the only one besides her mother who put that ribbon around her wrist. He just wanted to go home and maybe lock himself up in his lab, on that way he wouldn’t be able to do more harm to Jo than he had already done. His back was turned towards her, he didn’t even look at her, and when he started walking she followed him quickly, trying to grasp his hand, but he pulled away from her.
“I don’t get it”, he said, trying his voice to remain calm, but it was hard. “Why did you sleep with me?”

“What?”

“I mean, after all your mother had done to you, how could you…why the hell did you…I’m sorry, that sounds like I’m blaming you.” He shook his head. “I mean…why did you…no, I pushed you into this, I put so much pressure on you…that was wrong.”

“No, I wanted it. In the beginning I was a bit scared but you didn’t force me to anything, I really wanted it, and I trusted you, so-“

“No, that’s wrong! You trusting me was wrong. I’m not… a nice person.”

“Liam, what are you talking about?”

What her mother had done to her was wrong, but it was even harder for him to believe that a girl who had been punished like that and had been in such a fragile state by the time they first met, got together with someone like him, who made it only worse for her. He hadn’t been gentle with her, he had completely pressured her into something she was scared of, something she would have been severely punished for if her mother would have known. Now that he was thinking about their first time again…did he actually rape her? Well, she didn’t tell him to stop, but she had been scared, and he hadn’t really paid attention to it but instead went on, maybe not noticing that she didn’t want to.
He started to feel sick just thinking of how badly he had treated her and her body the past three and a half years. And now she had to face the result of his abuse, she was pregnant and was forced to carry another human being inside of her just because he had forced her into something that she didn’t want to do, or something that she knew would only harm her. And for the first time he agreed with Elizabeth on something: he had indeed violated Jo’s body. All those years. And he had no idea…

He felt Jo’s hand on his arm, but he pulled away again. She looked hurt.

“What did I do?” Her voice sounded weak.

“Nothing.” God, it was so hard to look at her, he felt like he was looking at a helpless little victim that he had just beaten up. “It’s what I did…to you, the past years. Jo, you shouldn’t have trusted me!” He wasn’t mad at her, he was mad at himself for letting her trust him and for taking advantage of her the past years like that. He really needed time to clear his head before he could face Jo again. He shouldn’t even be allowed to see her, just like a criminal shouldn’t be allowed to see the victim he had abused. That’s exactly how he felt, like a criminal.
“Don’t take this wrong, but I think we shouldn’t sleep in the same room for…a couple of days or so. I don’t know…I can’t keep going on like this, hurting you and…I mean, look at you! You’re freaking pregnant because of me! I just…I think you’d be better off if I’m not coming too close to you. At least for the moment… I’ll still be at Waterfall Downs since there’s a lot of work to do, and we can see each other during the day, but we shouldn’t sleep in the same room. I just need to…I really…I should stay away from you.” He looked at her a last time, looked at her face so closely as if it was the last time he would see it, then he turned around and walked fast, hoping she wouldn’t run after him.
As soon as Liam got to Waterfall Downs, he grabbed everything he needed and moved into his lab. It wasn’t an ideal place, and technically he could just move into a guest room, but his lab was the only place right now where Jo couldn’t just walk in, which meant that there was no danger he could hurt her.

Jo walked slowly sobbing heavily, she shouldn’t have told Liam. She never thought Liam had done anything. Jo knew he would move into his lab and that he didn’t like her go into it because it could be dangerous for her.
Jo went into their bedroom, took the jumper he had worn yesterday and curled up in the bed. She rested for a while until she got back up. Jo went downstairs and knocked at the lab’s door. “Liam?” He didn’t answer and it didn’t surprise Liam. She took the note out of her pocket. I know you think you raped me all those years ago but you didn’t! I was scared yes, but not of you! I was scared that it would hurt, and that I would go to hell but never was I scared of you. You never forced me to do anything! I’m in the music room and would love if you come.

Jo went in the music room and played the piano, but when it got dark and Liam hadn’t come to her. Jo sighed. “Let’s go talk to your daddy.”

Jo hammered with both hands against the door of the lab. “Liam let me in! You have to listen to me. You never hurt me! You never raped me. I am sorry I said you let me feel the ribbon again, I didn’t mean it like this. I just don’t want to be only your pretty wife. I want more. I want you to see me as equal. Liam I love you open that door and talk to me!”

Liam opened the door but didn’t let Jo walk in, or talked to her. “Liam I swear to you, you never violated me! You never hurt me! Do you hear me? I want to sleep with you. I always did and I always do. You are right I should have been scared to ever let you touch me but…” Jo sighed she knew Liam would have difficulties understanding her. “I prayed many times and I know that you were and never are the devil. Liam please you have to believe me, the first times we were intimate you didn’t force yourself onto me. Don’t do this, please Liam come back to our bedroom. Even if you prefer not to be intimate, just come back. I miss you so much.” Jo was looking sad and hurt but she was not crying and she would not start. Not this time. "I shouldn't have told you how Mother used to punish me."

Liam didn’t say a word while she was talking. Everything about Jo was so honest, and he knew that she didn’t say those things in desperation but simply in honesty. He would do her wrong if he still didn’t believe her after all she just said. She was quiet for a moment, waiting for any sign of him to let her know that he believed her. He still didn’t seem overly convinced, but that had nothing to do with Jo, it was more his own doubting that made him believe that he had pressured her when they started dating.
“You sure?”, he finally said, very quietly.

“Of course I am! I really meant what I said.” She looked right into his eyes.

“I know, but-“

“No ‘but’, Liam! I’m serious. I mean, yes, it’s true that I was scared in the beginning, but I stopped being scared very quickly because I knew I could trust you, and you never did anything that made me feel like I was forced into this.”

He nodded slightly, in his head still trying to convince himself that she was right. “Okay…”

“Please don’t sleep in the lab tonight, I hate to be in that big bedroom all by myself.” She looked at him almost scared, as if she worried he would reject her, but then he nodded.

“I really have no desire to sleep in the lab on that stupid couch that’s too small for me anyway.” He finally managed to bring up a smile, though it was still tiny. He turned away from her and went back inside to get his stuff, it wasn’t much. When they got upstairs and reached their room, Liam turned to Jo. “It’s good that you told me about those things with your mother”, he said. “I mean…I know it’s hard for you to talk about those things, and I’m not necessarily the best example either because I keep many important things to myself, but we’re married…and…well…I think we should be able to talk about these things.” He paused for a moment. “And I’m so sorry for objectifying you. I don’t do it on purpose, and not all the time, of course, but sometimes…I know it’s wrong, and I know that it hurts you, I understand.” He stepped closer, and he finally dared to touch her again, though it was just his hand wandering carefully over her shoulder, nothing more. “See, you’re not just boobs or a nice butt to me. I mean, I was like that a couple of years ago, before I met you, I have to admit that I kind of objectified women and I’m not proud of it, but you changed me. Like that one day I noticed something, right here…” His hand rested on her right shoulder. “You have small freckles on your shoulders, and on your right one your freckles look like the star constellation of the Pegasus, I’m serious. It’s funny, but it really looks like the Pegasus.”

Jo looked at him surprised, unable to say something.

“Before I met you I would have never noticed those things on a girl.” Liam smiled, it was almost a shy kind of smile. “I do notice more things on you than just the size of your boobs, but I never say anything. I’m sorry that I give you the wrong impression, and that I often really behave like a first class jerk…” His hand wandered down to her belly where it stayed. “And in case your mother is right, and you really turn out to be a girl, then don’t worry, you don’t have to look pretty for me, just be healthy, that’s more important to me.”

“She knows that and I am sure that she is healthy and beautiful on the inside and the outside.” Jo felt that he was a little scared of touching her. Jo stepped closer to Liam and snuggled into his arms, the best place on the earth.

It was a week ago and Liam was as sweet and caring as he always, well most of the time caring he forbid Jo to lift anything heavier than a cup of tea which she wasn’t allowed to drink anymore.
Jo was upstairs she needed now a long time in the morning to get dressed, her bras didn’t fit anymore but today she took even longer. Liam was downstairs he had to do a few phone calls while Jo took a shower. The radio was playing and she was enjoying the hot water on her body. She felt rather exhausted but that didn’t stop her from singing and dancing along, when suddenly something moving in the corner of her eye caught her attention. There was one of the construction workers -who were working on the other rooms in their flat- staring at her, and he clearly liked what he saw according to the tightening of his trousers. It took Jo a few second until she realized what was happening and then she screamed bloodcurdling.

Liam was just leaving the living room when he heard Jo screaming. The first thing that came to his mind: something was wrong with the baby.
And he couldn’t believe that he actually worried about the possibility that something might be wrong with the baby. He freaking didn’t want to care about the baby!
He ran upstairs and found Jo in their bathroom, wrapped in a towel and shivering. Before he could stop himself he just burst out: “What’s with the baby?”
Shit. He didn’t want to say that. Or ask that. Or even think about that. What did he care if something was with the baby?
For a brief moment she looked surprised at him, but then she shook her head quietly.

“It’s not the baby…”, she whispered.

Liam felt some kind of relief. Which sucked. Why was he so relieved about that? Well, yeah, he wanted the baby to be healthy of course, but he didn’t like the fact how much he had just worried that something could have been wrong with the baby. He never planned on worrying so much about that child…
“What…what is it then?” He cleared his throat, trying not to think of the fact how much he worried about that little human being growing inside his wife’s stomach. Then he realized how much she was shivering and that he didn’t even think that she might be the one who was hurt. He started to feel guilty that he thought of the baby first, he really hated that he had done that.
“Jo, what is it?” He stepped next to her and pulled her into a hug. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head and buried her face into his shoulder.

“You have to tell me why you screamed like that, you really…that freaked me out, you know?”
She mumbled something into his shoulder but he couldn’t really understand her. When he asked her to say that again, she took a deep breath and repeated it in a very quiet, almost broken voice.

“One of the construction workers…he…he saw me…”

“Saw you when?”

“Just now…”

“What do you mean ‘just now’? Like in your towel? Did he say anything, or do anything?” Liam felt how he got tense just thinking of some sleazy old dude seeing Jo in nothing but a towel.

She shook her head slightly. “He saw me…” She paused for a moment. “He saw me in the shower…without a towel. Liam, he looked at me…and…and he saw…everything…and…” Her voice trembled and she hid her face in his shoulder again.
Liam was furious. That dirty son of a bitch! Nobody was allowed to look at his wife, especially not when she was naked! The fact that someone else saw her naked drove him crazy, he felt like someone was taking her away from him.
“I’m going to kill him!” He didn’t notice that he pressed Jo rather rough against himself as if he feared that someone would take her away any second. “He didn’t do anything, did he? I swear, if he did anything, I will-“

She shook her head again. “He just…stared.”

That was still enough reason to rip off his head and feed it to the sharks!

“Listen, Jo, it’s not your fault, okay? You didn’t invite that bastard in, so don’t blame yourself if he saw you, okay?” He knew that she felt guilty for something she didn’t do in the first place, she always did. “And as screwed up as this all was, it also was the last time ever that someone else besides me sees you naked. Believe me, there won’t be anybody else, I’ll make sure of that.”

Jo grabbed Liam’s shirt and held it tight. Liam pulled her up and made sure the towel was covering her well. He led her in their bedroom, and got some of her comfortable clothes out of her closet. “Jo did you hear what I said? It is not your fault.” He brushed her wet hair out of her face, and kissed her.

“He said I am pretty, he said he likes what he saw.” Jo mumbled.

“And that is nothing you made.”

Jo nodded to make him see that she understood what he said. She took the T-Shirt and pulled it over her head before she looked at Liam. “I feel like we should check the little peanut.”

Liam got the stethoscope and pulled up her shirt, to find the little peanuts heartbeat. It was steady and strong just as always. Until now he hadn’t noticed how tense he had been, but hearing the baby’s heartbeat calmed him down.
Later that day Liam went to find the construction worker that had seen his wife. He went to the foreman of the workers. “It is not acceptable that one of your men goes into our bathroom and looks at my wife under the shower. I want this man to be removed from your crew right away.” Liam looked stern at the foreman. “Of course Sir, I ensure you that all my men were told to respect your privacy, especially when they are working in your flat. I am very sorry for this incident. I will deal with the man right away. Is Missis Jo hurt?”

“No, but if this happens again I will find another company finishing the constructions. Is this clear?” Liam was so angry at this man for being so calm but at the same time he saw the point that it wasn’t helping to lose your cools.

“Yes Sir. Please give my apologizes to Missis Jo. This should have never happened.”

Liam nodded and left the foreman. Jo was making lunch and waiting for Liam in the school kitchen since their kitchen was not yet finished.
As soon Liam cam in the kitchen he noticed that no one was here, the table was nicely decorated with daisies. And Jo was wearing a new dress that hugged her new curvier figure. “Hey there…”

Liam grinned he knew what that invitation meant. Even though he saw that Jo was a little shy, but he knew why. The past week they haven’t been intimate and Liam so wanted to touch his wife and the pantry was still one of their favourite places. Jo giggled. “But be gentle okay? My skin is so sensitive at the moment.”

“Got it.” Liam took Jo’s hand and pulled her into the pantry and there on the small preparation table.

The next weeks passed quickly. They got a lot of work done, had more interviews with students and teachers, and the constructions got completed by the beginning of December, which was also the time when Liam noticed changes in Jo. Well, of course, her body obviously changed since she was four months pregnant and there was already a little bump visible, it was still small but you could see that something was growing there. Her breasts had grown quite a bit, which he liked, of course, but he reminded himself not to comment on that all the time because he didn’t want Jo to get the impression that he objectified her. But it wasn’t just physical changes that had taken place, it was Jo herself who had grown more distant and he noticed that immediately. When he touched her it sometimes seemed that she flinched, as if she was scared of him. She assured him many times that she wasn’t scared of him, but she still became more distant with every passing week, and she started to feel uncomfortable sleeping with him, which she didn’t say directly to his face, but he could tell, since they slept less together than normally, and by the beginning of December they barely had sex at all. He thought she was just going through a phase and he didn’t want to push her, but he also felt that the more distant she became, the more impatient he got. It drove him crazy each time they went to bed and she kissed him goodnight and immediately turned off the light, and as soon as he got too close to her she said she doesn’t want to. She never told him the real reason why, but because she was pregnant he respected her and didn’t want to force her to anything, but he had a really hard time to suppress his impatience. He just kept telling himself that it was just a phase, and it could end any day…
It was one week before the Christmas party at Waterfall Downs and Jo was busy finishing up the last preparations when Liam came into the living room.
“Just talked with my grandma…”

Jo looked up from her notebook, she was still deciding what food to serve. “You did?”

“Yeah, I told her about you being pregnant and stuff.”

“And? What did she say?”

“I honestly didn’t understand much because she talked insanely fast, in Irish, of course, but from what I heard I’m pretty sure she was excited. I’m surprised she even knew how to use the phone. When I moved back there when I was fourteen they didn’t have a phone in the house, they lived like people from the 18th century.” Liam sat down next to Jo. “Anyway, she seemed really excited, probably a bit too much, and then she got my grandfather on the phone, who, of course, didn’t say anything at all until my grandmother forced him to, and then he mumbled something like ‘Pray that it won’t be a girl, girls only run away and get pregnant’, and then my grandmother started to argue with him and forgot that I was on the other side of the phone, listening to everything, and then she realized that she forgot that I was still on the phone and started talking to me again and said that I have to make sure the baby knows of its Irish heritage, and I need to teach it Irish, and she hopes it’s a girl because she said baby girls are easier to handle than boys, and she hopes it looks Irish, and she wants us to find a nice Irish name, and then I reminded her that I’m married to an English girl and not everything here is Irish.” Liam took a deep breath. “Well, always fun talking to my grandparents…”

Jo smiled. “But that’s so cute of her, wanting her great-grandchild to be all Irish.”

“Well, it’s not going to be all Irish, it’s still half English. My grandma just tends to forget that there is another world outside of Ireland.” Liam’s eyes wandered to Jo’s notes. “So, how is the party planning going?” His hand was on her knee, but when he moved it further up Jo put her hand on his to stop him. She didn’t meet his eyes, she just stared at her notes.

“I think it is all planned I gonna talk tomorrow with the cook and then it is all set. I hope Mother is coming and she got over the fact that I am pregnant I can’t really hide it anymore.” She looked at him smiling hoping he didn’t think of having sex tonight again. She knew she was unfair she had to tell him, but not tonight.

One last time, before we take a break maybe it is not until peanut is born, but for the moment.

“It’s late coming let’s go to bed.” Liam whispered and kissed her gently. Jo nodded. “okay.” She just whispered.

Liam was on top of his wife gently touching her and enjoying her bigger boobs and most other curves and managed to ignore the already very visible baby bump, when he looks up in her face and freezes.

“Holy Saint Patrick, Jo?!”

“I’m so sorry, I…” Jo broke off, heavily sobbing and crying pulling the duvet over her body to cover herself. Liam brushed the long hair out of her face.

“Did I hurt you? Or the baby? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to. Talk to me Jo.” Liam wanted to pull her close but Jo pushed him away. She closed her eyes to stop the tears not that it worked.

“You didn’t hurt me or peanut.” Jo tried to calm herself but she felt that she was losing it. “Every time I look at you I remember every second we had… sex and I love all of them, but when you touch me now it… it feel different, I can’t do it. Not at the moment, don’t misunderstand me I do want to sleep with you but I can’t just sleep with you for the memory. I don’t see it as my duty to have sex with you, when we have sex I feel like I can touch our love. And I feel awful that I have to ask you to stop until the baby is born. I can still you, erm do things for you but I can’t do this anymore…” Jo slipped out of their bed, grabbed her nightshirt and ran out of their bedroom. She hated herself for doing this but even though it wasn’t painful to sleep with Liam it didn’t feel good anymore. She crawled on the couch and making herself as small as possible. She was hugging her stomach, gently stroking it. “Everything is alright peanut, mommy is just a little upset. Mommy and daddy are not having a fight, we are fine mommy just doesn’t know how to show that she loves daddy when I don’t sleep with him anymore.”

Tears were running down her cheeks and she felt so horrible. She never wanted to be this kind of wife that doesn’t want to be touched during her pregnancy. She loved Liam so much and all those moments they were together were the best moments in her life, her love is so strong that are sometimes moments that she barely can keep her hands off him even when people are there.

“I love you so much Liam!”

This didn’t just happen, right? This was just a joke, and Jo would come back any second and say something like ‘Fooled you!’ And she was good in crying, so she probably didn’t have a hard time coming up with fake tears. So, yes, this was not real…just a joke.
Or not.
I have to ask you to stop until the baby is born.
She wasn’t serious. Of course she wasn’t!
Until the baby is born…that was like…five months! Five bloody months! No way could she be serious. She said it didn’t feel right anymore. Why did it not feel right anymore, he was still her husband and nothing had changed. He started to wonder if he did something wrong, if he did in fact hurt Jo but she was too afraid to tell him.
Liam took a deep breath, grabbed his boxers and shirt and left the room. It wasn’t hard to find her, he just needed to follow her sobbing and found her crawled up on the couch in their living room.
“I love you so much Liam!”

He just stood there and didn’t say anything at first. She didn’t notice him, her face was turned away from him.
“Why aren’t you honest with me then?”, he asked quietly.
She stopped sobbing for a moment and turned her head slowly towards him.
“Obviously something is wrong, I mean, there must be a reason why you don’t want me to touch you anymore.”

“But I do…”

“If you would, you wouldn’t tell me to stop. Jo, you have to tell me what the problem is otherwise I don’t know what’s going on. Tell me honestly if I hurt you, I need to know that.”

She sat up, shaking her head weakly. “You don’t hurt me, it’s not that…”

“What is it then?” It wasn’t his intention, but he sounded impatient, almost upset.

“I…I don’t know…” Tears were running down her face. “I don’t know why I can’t do it anymore…”

Despite being annoyed that she couldn’t tell him what was wrong, he saw how much it hurt her, and he hated seeing her that way. He sighed, then he sat down next to her, but he didn’t touch her. After all, she made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want to be touched by him any longer. His eyes were fixed on her stomach.
“It’s the baby, isn’t it?”
I knew you would take her away from me, midget…

Jo bit her lip, trying desperately to stop her tears.

“I’m not mad at you, Jo. I know you’re going through a crappy time, but I’m not going to lie, it really sucks not being close to you for the next moths.” He still stared at her stomach. “Guess I have to find a hooker then…” When he saw how shocked she looked he quickly added: “Just a joke! Sorry, that was really…insensitive.”
She still looked hurt. He was about to take her hand, but then he decided not to, because she didn’t want to be touched. God, this was annoying.
“I’m really sorry, sometimes I should just shut up. Please don’t take it seriously.”
She didn’t respond, and they sat next to each other quietly for a moment, almost like two strangers, with a big wall between them, until Liam finally got up. He didn’t know what to say to her except that he was annoyed by the baby at the moment because it fucking changed everything, but he knew that she would probably not want to hear something like that, so he decided not to say his thoughts out loud.
“It’s going to be okay”, he said, not sounding very convincing, but at least he tried to say something positive. He bent a bit down and kissed her on the head, then he turned around and went back to bed.

Jo let him go, and even though she hated the thought but a hooker didn’t seem too bad in a way.

“Peanut why are you doing this to me? Sex is very important for your daddy, and when I can’t sleep with him he thinks I stop loving him.”

Jo sighed and went back to bed herself. Liam was lying in bed with the back to her. Jo climbed into bed, she was kneeling on her side looking at Liam’s back.

“Liam this all came out wrong. Yes I would prefer not to have sex with you for… month, but I didn’t say you can’t touch me. It is hard to explain, at the moment when we have sex it doesn’t feel good. And it is not you, I’m pumped with hormones I mean for Christ Sake this morning I ate strawberry jam on my sausages and thought it tasted awesome. I still like when you hold me, take my hand or kiss me. And I’m sorry that because I am pregnant I don’t want you in my knickers I really am, because I like sleeping with you. It makes me feel special. But… the thought of you sleeping with a hooker is not new. I thought about it before and erm if it makes you feel better I think I don’t mind while I’m pregnant. I mean if you promise me that you won’t love her and it is all just sex I can deal with it.” Jo looked at Liam’s back wondering what he thought. “I’m sorry that I asked you not to have sex with me for some time. I could give you a blowjob if it makes you feel better.”

Liam listened to his wife apologizing and giving him two really tempting offers, but neither one of these offers seemed right. Well, the second one was sure as hell right, but not at this very moment. He would definitely come back to that offer some other time.
But the first…
Liam sat up and looked at her. “You want me to sleep with a hooker?”

“I don’t want you to, but I won’t be mad at you if you do…” She stared uncomfortably at her hands.

“You know that was just a joke, right? You know that I often say stupid things without actually meaning them.”

She nodded quietly. “I…I was actually thinking about it even before you said it…”

“You were thinking of me going to a hooker while you’re pregnant?”

Jo sighed. “Now you make it sound like I’m the evil one.”

“No!” He shook his head. “I just don’t know…why, Jo? Why do you think I would do that?”

She finally looked up. “Because I know you, Liam, and I know you have needs, and for the next months I won’t be of much help when it comes to that. Please believe me that I feel so bad about it, but I just…I can’t right now. It’s just not right.”

He looked at her quietly for a moment. “And it doesn’t feel right that I sleep with another woman while you’re at home pregnant. So, thanks for the offer, but no…”

“I didn’t mean it bad.”

“I know you didn’t, and I’m just telling you that I won’t sleep with a hooker.” He lay down again and stared at the ceiling. Many years ago, when he started getting really interested in girls, his mother made him promise something. He had to promise her to respect women, no matter what. Through the years he had already broken that promise, there were many moments when he had treated Jo not the way a girl was supposed to be treated. But this time he really wanted to respect her, and sleeping with a hooker while she was pregnant was anything but a sign of respect.
“It’s okay, Jo”, he said. “I get it…I mean, I know that you’re uncomfortable with your body, and if sleeping with me doesn’t feel right anymore I have to accept that.” Geez, that was so damn hard to say!
“But that doesn’t mean I will sleep with another woman, even if there are no feelings involved.”

He could tell that she looked relieved. She lay down next to him, her hand reaching out for his. “Like I said, I don’t mind it if you touch me.”

“Okay.”

“What about the second offer? I can-“

He just shook his head. Under any other circumstances he wouldn’t hesitate a second, but right now it felt wrong. He had the feeling that Jo felt forced to do it, and he didn’t want to force her.
“Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”
He told himself that he would make it through the next months somehow, after all, it were ‘only’ a few months, but there was this little voice inside his head that told him it would get harder than he thought.

It was Christmas Eve and Jo was running around like crazy since hours.

“Jo please stop and sit down, you look pale and exhausted.” Liam took her hand and pulled her on his lap.

“Liam I…”

Liam kissed his wife, and then her belly. “Listen little one you need your mommy enjoy today. It’s her favourite holiday, right after Saint Patrick’s Day.” Liam grinned at Jo. Jo sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I love you Liam.” His hand was resting on her stomach.

“Heeeelloooo! I am here to help and I brought more help.” Ricky’s voice echoed through the house moments before Ricky and his parents through the kitchen door. “I thought you need some help, after all you are pregnant and you should not lift anything heavy, so we are here to help.” Jo got up and smiled at Ricky.

“Oh my dear, you are so beautiful. May I?” Mrs Butcher stepped closer and put her hand on Jo’s stomach. “Oh this is so wonderful.”

Jo went pale the moment Mrs Butcher put her hand on her stomach and she froze right in the spot.

Liam could see that Jo’s whole body became tense when Ricky’s mother put her hand on Jo’s stomach. He immediately took her hand and squeezed it comfortably, but Jo still didn’t look relaxed at all.
“How far are you, my dear?” Mrs Butcher finally put her hand away, and Liam could feel Jo taking a deep breath.

“I’m in the fifth month”, Jo said quietly. She hated being so nervous around others, especially nice people like Mrs Butcher, but she just couldn’t stop it.

“Oh, that is lovely.” The older woman smiled widely. Liam could tell that Ricky came definitely after her, not after his father. Speaking of father…Mr Butcher turned up behind them, and for a moment he and Liam just stared at each other, remembering that rather awkward incident in Mr Butcher’s hunting hut, where he and his hunting friends walked into the two sleeping youngsters, but then a smile appeared on his face.
“Hey, lads”, he said, nodding at Liam and then looking at Jo, well, more at her stomach. Liam already noticed that everybody was immediately staring at her stomach, which made him feel kind of protective because he didn’t want everyone to look at her stomach, but of course, it was just a natural reflex and he couldn’t blame people for doing that.
The Butchers helped them getting things set up, and soon afterwards more and more people came. As the old Waterfall Downs tradition required, everyone had to wear something red, it didn’t matter if it was just a small bow tie or a watch, as long as everyone had something red on them.
Jo was wearing a pretty red skirt while Liam wore a red tie. Normally he wouldn’t wear a tie, but for the Christmas party it was okay.
While Jo and Ricky were in the kitchen with the caterers and checked the food, Liam went to the front door to greet the guests. Lorelai and John had just entered with their boys who immediately ran to little Gracie since they had become good friends with Ellen’s daughter, and soon afterwards Alfie arrived.
“Hey, little man.” He often greeted Liam like that, sometimes even tousled his hair, but it was meant in a friendly way. “I’ve got something for you and your wife.” He handed him a bag, and when Liam got out a book he had to grin.
“Thanks, man, I think we really need that.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. I actually looked through it- not that it was particularly exciting or anything- but it was quite entertaining.”

“You looked through a parenting advice book?” Liam couldn’t hold back a grin, but Alfie just shrugged his shoulders.

“Just for the fun of it. Oh, go on page 37, there’s something you have to remember.”

Liam opened to page 37 and looked at the picture.


“Remember, don’t throw the baby in a way that it sticks to the ceiling, that’s not the point in throwing babies. The only point in throwing them is to make them shut up, but that doesn’t mean you need to break their skulls.”

Liam raised his eyebrows. “Have you ever considered a career as author for parenthood advising? I’m pretty sure you would be tremendously good at that.”

“Eh…maybe not.”

“Oh, before I forget; don’t touch Jo’s stomach, she doesn’t like that at all.”

“Why would I touch her stomach?”

“I don’t know…people like to touch the stomachs of pregnant women…”

Alfie raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like I want to touch the stomach of a pregnant woman?”

“Ehm…no.”

“Good. I mean, why would you want to touch a pregnant woman’s stomach anyway? You don’t go up to a fat woman and ask her to touch her belly either, right? So why touching the stomach of a pregnant woman, I don’t get it.”

“Yeah, I can see your point.” Actually, Liam agreed on most things Alfie said, probably because he often had the same opinion, but on the other hand he also liked touching Jo’s stomach- but only because it was Jo, and it was their child. He would never touch the stomach of some random pregnant woman, that was ridiculous.
That same moment Graham came in, wearing a red tie just like his son. He greeted the boys, then went to look for his daughter-in-law.

“He’s seriously attractive”, Alfie said after Graham turned away from them.

“Sorry?”

“Your dad. He’s hot…”

Liam stared at him as if he misheard him. “You-did -not -just -say -that…”

“What? I’m just honest.”

“That’s my father you’re talking about.”

“So?”

“You can’t hit on my father!”

“Relax, Liam, I’m not hitting on your father, I just pointed out the obvious”, Alfe replied drily. “Any chance he’s interested in men?”

“Dude!”

“I just have two words for you: Oscar Wilde.”

“Oscar Wilde? What about him?”

“He was married, he had two kids, and guess what?”

“Oh, come on!” Liam shook his head but he actually had to grin, but his grin faded the moment he saw Colin and Elizabeth approaching the building. “Okay…I so don’t want to talk to my dear mother-in-law right now, I think I’ll see if I can hide somewhere in the kitchen…” He quickly checked if Elizabeth hadn’t spotted him yet, then he turned around and went back into the kitchen were Ricky and Jo were talking to the caterers.

“Liam, hey there you are. We have a problem all the mullet wine is real wine, I ordered specifically that there is some made with grape juice for the kids and me.” Jo hugged Liam tightly.

“I think there is apple juice we can add the spices to that and tell the cook to turn it into mullet apple juice, how does this sound?” Liam whispered.

Jo sighed. “Okay. You okay?”

Ricky went to the cook to tell him the plan about the apple juice and give Jo and Liam some space.

“Your mother just arrived.” Liam mumbled.

“Oh fun. Is father with her?” Jo whispered.

“Yup Colin is with her, hopefully having Elizabeth on a short leash.”

“Liam that is your mother-in-law you are talking about. And where are you hiding my beautiful daughter-in-law?” Graham said joyfully.

“I’m here Graham.” Jo stepped out of Liam’s embrace.

“Merry Christmas, my dear.” Graham hugged Jo, but he knew her so he didn’t touch her. “You are getting already so big. I don’t mean that in a bad way.” He quickly added when he saw Jo’s hurt impression.

“Yes I know the baby is huge.” Jo mumbled.

“That is just a sign that it is healthy. You look beautiful. You can tell me when I am out of line but may I?” Graham didn’t touch Jo’s belly right after the question, he looked at Jo questioning. Jo sighed, but nodded she had difficulties to say now. Graham stepped closer and gently placed his hand on Jo’s belly, while Jo’s head was resting on Liam’s shoulder. Graham’s hand wasn’t longer than a few seconds on.

“That is amazing, the wonder of life.” Graham smiled. “I’ve got a present for my grandchild.” He handed Jo a thin package.

“Can I open it?”

“Yes of course go ahead.”

Jo carefully unwrapped the present and was holding a record in her hand. “It has all the important songs on it played by me.”

“Oh Graham that is wonderful thank you.” Jo let go of Liam and hugged Graham tight.

“Josephine this in incredible rude, we had to let ourselves in and got greeted by Alfred. I raised you better.” Elizabeth stood angry in the door. Jo took Liam’s hand. “I’m sorry Mother I had to take care of some kitchen problems.”

“It is not your job to solve kitchen problems that why you are having staff.”

“No Mother my staff is not serving us today they work volunteer and are also guest. Many has changed here in Waterfall Downs.”

“You look big.” And Elizabeth meant it in a mean way.

Was it normal that he got so protective pretty much 24/7? Yes, he had been protective about Jo before, but ever since she was pregnant he was almost insanely protective. It was no longer about guys looking her, no, right now it was about everything that included her. And midget. It just happened automatically, he couldn’t stop it. This feeling of protecting his wife, his family, grew stronger and more intense with every day, and it didn’t really matter if it were strangers coming up to Jo or friends and family, this feeling of protecting her was constantly there.
And right now something inside of him wanted to slap Elizabeth across the face for insulting Jo. ‘You look big’? Seriously? Of course she was big, she was freaking pregnant! Did Elizabeth expect her daughter to look like some sort of skinny supermodel? And Jo wasn’t ‘big’, only her belly was growing- and well, yeah, her boobs- but the way Elizabeth put it made it sound like Jo was fat.
Liam forced himself to be quiet, but he couldn’t. As usual he was a little too straight-forward.

“She’s not big, she’s pregnant”, he said almost grumpy. “What do you expect from a girl in her fifth month?”
Everybody immediately turned their heads to him while Elizabeth let out an outraged gasp. Both Colin and Graham exchanged a brief glance, then Colin quickly distracted his wife by pointing out how wonderful the food looked while Graham turned to his son.
“Ehm…Jo, would you excuse us for a moment?” He smiled at the young girl, then put his hand on Liam’s shoulder and directed him out of the kitchen.

“What?” He looked confused at his father.

“You can’t speak like that to Lady Elizabeth.”

“She was insulting Jo! What am I supposed to do? Agree with her?”

“No, of course not, and it’s right that you defend your wife, but that doesn’t mean you can be so disrespectful to her mother, especially knowing about her unstable condition.”

Liam sighed. “Sorry, I can’t help it…”

“Of course you can’t, you’re Cathy’s boy, and that means you speak your mind no matter what the consequences are.” A smile crossed his lips. “However, you have to try to keep it in sometimes, especially in front of your mother-in-law, okay? You can still defend Jo, but in a more...well-mannered way.”

“Okay, okay.” Liam rolled his eyes. “I promise I’ll try not to hit her with a bottle the next time she makes a stupid comment.”
Graham raised his eyebrows and chuckled. It was almost scary how similar Liam was to his mother.

“Heya.” Liam went back into the kitchen and put his arms around Jo. Her parents were already in the living room, talking to the others. “You okay?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Am I really big?”

“Jo, you’re not big, you’re just…well, pregnant. And like my father said, the fact that the baby is big is a good thing because it means that it’s healthy, and that’s what matters most, right?”

She nodded quietly. “I guess…”

“Let’s eat, okay? I’m starving”, Liam said, then they left the kitchen to join the others.

Jo nodded and followed Liam into the dining room, where the buffet was set up.

“What do you wanna eat?” Liam kissed his wife.

“I’m not hungry.” Jo mumbled.

“Jo you are not big! Please don’t do that you have to eat and you know that.” Liam pulled Jo a little aside from everyone. He looked at his wife concerned. “Please Lady.”

Jo looked at Liam. She saw that he just wanted what’s best for her. “Okay. But you promise me that when I get fat you tell me?”

“Yes I will be the first one.” Liam grinned, pulled Jo close and kissed her.

They got some food, and got back to entertain their guests. Most guest were drawn into the music room, where Graham was sitting at the grand black piano playing joyful Christmas songs. “Jo come sit down next to me we will play fourhanded.”

Jo smiled shy. She didn’t sit down next to Graham but stood behind him. “I can’t Graham. There are so many people listening.”

“You played in the London music hall, this is nothing.” Graham grinned and looked support seeking at his son.

“I would love to hear you play.” Liam kissed Jo, he didn’t seem to be able to take his hands off Jo. Jo giggled.

“Okay, okay.”

Jo sat down and together with Graham they made the entire house sing. And more Jo was laughing and looking really happy.

Later Elizabeth went to Josephine. She looking like she was sucking a lemon which was extra sour. “It is not as the Christmas Eve parties Waterfall Down is used to but… it is adequate to say that it is not a bad gathering. Even though you still have to learn to be a better hostess. And maybe a child is not going to kill you but you are still big!”

Elizabeth didn’t give her daughter time to answer, she just walked away. Jo sighed, she knew her mother and she knew that was as much of a compliment as she would get. “Listen peanut, I will never be like your grandmother.”

Jo put her hands around her belly and went to look for Liam. She found him with Alfie. “Hey Alfie.” Jo smiled when she hugged Liam desperately needing Liam’s closeness.