Time Storm

The robe was bulky and unnecessary now. As the TARDIS doors shut behind him, the Doctor threw it over the rail, adjusting his bowtie as he approached the console.

“All of Time and Space to choose from. Somewhere, somewhere I can lie low. No, that’s boring.” He danced around the console, setting all the controls he could to random.

“Now then dear,” he whispered as he placed a hand on the central column, “Where do I need to go now?” The next second he lost his footing as the TARDIS shook violently. Barley had he recovered his balance before it shook again. Supporting himself

“A Time Storm. And a big one. Connecting points all across Time and Space to a single location.” Despite being alone he spoke as if there was someone around asking questions.

“Uh, I don’t know. I think we’ll just have to ride out the storm and see where it leads.” Supporting himself on the console as the TARDIS continued shaking, the Doctor tried to stabilise the flight, and turn the crash-landing into just a landing. Thankfully it stopped the shaking, but now the TARDIS lurched and balanced at a sharp angle, the doors now practically the floor of the console room.

The Doctor gave an indistinct cry of ‘whoa’ as he clung to the console, still trying to land. With one arm dedicated to keeping him near the console, he resorted to using his head and other arm to try and bring the TARDIS down safely. Finally the engines started their groaning indicting they were preparing to land.

Then suddenly there was a moment of silence, then a loud crash and the TARDIS righted itself. Apparently it had landed. Picking himself off the floor, and grinning like an idiot, the Doctor flicked a few switches, then looked towards the scanner. His smile faded. The scanner wasn’t showing anything, just static. Obviously it had been damaged by the turbulence. The other instruments seemed to indicate that the outside was safe, but could he trust…

There was a dull thump from outside. The Doctor spun round. It sounded like something had just crashed into the TARDIS. He ran for the doors, pulling on his tweed jacket as he did so. He pulled the doors open, ready for anything.

Except what he saw.

“Jamie?”

Nikki was running blindly down the corridors, trying to find some kind of shuttle. Not that she’d any idea how to fly one, but anything was better than staying here. Her attempts to sabotage the ship had just made the situation worse. Ahead an armed soldier rounded the corner, Nikki was too close to do anything but try and rush past, but the soldier caught her lab coat, causing her to lose her balance. Nikki had to catch the handrails to stop herself from falling.

“You’re not going anywhere.” The soldier growled. “The captain’s orders are that you need to be alive.”

Then Nikki heard it. The sound that had haunted her for the past month.

Whump! Whump! Whump! Whump!

“The Infiltrator had been located. Recover it.” That deep voice, an unholy merging of vocal cords and electronics.

She turned and saw them. Silver metallic bodies, chrome faceplates, the handle shapes on the sides of their helmets. Cybermen. The solider turned and fired, but the beam of his weapon did nothing more than scorch the approaching cyborg. It raised its own weapon. There was a bright green flash from the muzzle and the soldier collapsed, smoking slightly.

A second Cyberman was advancing on Nikki, its arm outstretched.

“You will come with us.”

Nikki backed away slowly, until she hit the corridor wall. Running would have been the sensible thing, but she was paralysed with fear. So much so that she didn’t turn round with the sudden noise behind her. Nikki’s eyes remained glued on the Cyberman. It wasn’t until she felt something pulling her that she turned round.

Nikki gasped as she saw it. It was like looking into the top of a multi-coloured whirlwind. Strange coloured lightning arced across it. Even a brief glance was enough to start giving her a headache. And it was pulling her in. She grabbed the handrail again, then turned to face the other way. The Cyberman was still approaching, almost close enough to reach her.

Instinct made her want to hold on tighter. The approaching Cyberman made her want to let go.

She let go.

For a second she was falling, but that second seemed to stretch and distort, then she landed on her back. But the ceiling was no longer the same. It wasn’t the dirty silver coloured, brightly lit, riveted corridor of the ship. This one was dark, lit with a dull red light. The walls seemed to be made of some grey coloured plastic panels, but there were no signs of joins as it arched above.

There was something different about the atmosphere as well. It took her a few moments to realise that she was no longer on a ship. The pressure felt different. It was then Nikki realised she’d been lying on her back for a couple of minutes. Now that the shock was wearing off, it was time to find out just where she was.

As she sat up, Nikki became conscious of two things. From one end of the corridor came the sounds of an argument, maybe even a scuffle. And from the other, racing footsteps.

“Look at the size of that thing, Doctor!”

The Doctor snorted a laugh, unable to help himself, before frowning in an attempt at concentration on the TARDIS console before him.

Jamie McCrimmon grinned widely, holding a plate that was overflowing with probably the most enormous sandwich he had ever built. Finding out where the Doctor stowed the kitchens on this vessel was a right blessing--and he wondered why he hadn’t set himself to smelling it out sooner! The Doctor didn’t eat, it seemed, but for pleasure: Jamie, on the other hand, was always hungry.

Even distracted by culinary bliss, Jamie noticed that the Doctor was upset at something, and he jogged him with an elbow as he stepped up beside the Time Lord. “Och, what’s gone wrong now?” he demanded, surveying the console, as if he knew what it all did.

Jamie knew something wasn’t right when the Doctor didn’t even make a cursory swipe at a half of his sandwich (which Jamie had prepared in especial for that event).

“I'm not quite sure, Jamie, I’m getting some rather strange readings…” But the Doctor did steal half of his sandwich, anyway. That was a relief!

“How’s that?” Jamie wondered, “I thought ye said the Time Lords have…dual control or somethin’?”

“Yes, they do,” the Doctor replied, his mouth full of sandwich. “Which means…” he tapped a few dials. Stopped. Peered closer. “Oh, my giddy aunt.”

Jamie’s eyes grew wide, and he swallowed his bite with difficulty. “Ach, dinna say that, Doctor…” he moaned. “When ye say that, somethin’ awful ay happens! At least give me time tae finish ma sandwich!”

“Jamie, we're encountering a Time Storm. We may experience some turbulence…”

“Ay, fine, it’s no’ as if I wasnae takin’ a shine to a smooth ride once in a wee--”

The TARDIS pitched to the side, then, violently, sending the Doctor and Jamie forward across the console. The Doctor had been bracing himself, and managed to hold on, but Jamie, whose hands were occupied with more important things such as plate and sandwich, actually spilled across and over the console, leaving him to scramble for something to hang onto to keep from splattering against the far wall. With his quick reflexes, Jamie managed to find a handhold.

His luck, of course, dictated that the handhold he had managed to cling to was the lever that opened the TARDIS doors.

There was a woosh! now, and lighting flickered all around them, zapping the controls and blinding them with great white arcs.

“Jamie!” the Doctor cried.

“Doctor!” Jamie shouted, as his grip came loose of his inconvenient handhold and he flew out into the storm of time.

There was only enough time to note what a beautiful sight it was, though dizzying, and Jamie couldn’t quite tell if it was he that was spinning or the storm around him. It was like falling down the stairs of the tallest tower, but sideways. And with brighter colors. For a second Jamie thought he saw two TARDISes, maybe colliding, had clipped each other and ricocheted off in different directions. But, then, Jamie had seen stranger things.

Solid ground. Ow.

And a solid wall. Double ow.

The storm was over as suddenly as it began, and Jamie blinked and shook his head to clear it of the light and noise. He straightened his kilt and straightened himself, the world still spinning and, well, now everything was in double.

The wall he had knocked his head against, it turned out, was the side of the TARDIS. Thank God. “Doctor?” Jamie cried, staggering around to find the door. “Doctor, are ye a’right?” The door was shut. Probably good: meant the Doctor had managed to close it and was be safe inside.

But the man who opened the door in front of him was definitely not the Doctor.

This wasn’t even the other Doctor.

“Jamie?” asked the impostor who had no business mucking about in the Doctor’s TARDIS and, frankly, had no business knowing his name.

He’d soon sort him. Jamie wasted no time in drawing his dirk and throwing the mystery man against the side of the TARDIS. “Where’s the Doctor? What have ye done with him?”

The man blinked, as if surprised to see him. He was wearing a bow-tie. And, standing this close to him, even before the man spoke, Jamie almost recognized--it was strange, he admitted--the smell.

“Jamie, I--goodness, I’m glad to see you!” But Jamie didn’t move from where he had the man pinned against the TARDIS. “Jamie, it’s me, it’s the Doctor. Come, surely you know all about my ability to regenerate? You know, change my face?” He smiled hopefully--it was a right daft smile, just like the Doctor.

Jamie rolled his eyes, not really as skeptical as he was pretending to be, and pulled the dirk away. “Aye, fine. Sorry, Doctor, just didnae…”

“You didn’t want to take a chance, I understand.” The Doctor tugged his coat into place.

“So where’s my Doctor, then?” Jamie demanded, just as they heard a woman’s scream not far away.

The footsteps got closer and Nikki barely had time to stand before a large woman thundered round the corner. She came to a halt, looking a Nikki half surprised and half terrified. Just as Nikki was about to ask where she was, the vent cover above the woman shattered, and a large clawed arm shot out and grabbed the woman. The woman screamed as she was swiftly pulled through the vent hatch that normally, given her girth, she’d have no chance of fitting through. Nikki turned and ran.

She had barely turned the corner when Nikki stopped in her tracks, her curiosity overcoming her fear. Right ahead of her, so close to the corner she almost ran into it, was a big blue box. Not just that, but a big blue ‘wooden’ box. Almost nothing else could be so out of place here. Maybe she had somehow arrived in a museum. Nikki outstretched her arm to touch the box, and was surprised to feel a slight vibration from it.

At that moment two people ran past, both young men, the first with floppy hair and an archaic looking brown jacket. The second wearing a heavy skirt and carrying a knife. From their appearances they looked as natural together, and in this place, as the box did. The first man then did an almost comical turn just before he reached the corner, spinning round to look surprised at Nikki.

"Hullo, I'm the Doctor, are you in trouble?" The Doctor said, with characteristically too much ease.

And then Jamie noticed who he was talking to: a girl.

A cute girl.

Any thought of danger and offense were soon driven from Jamie's mind as he smiled and drew himself up to appear capable of protection and smiled widely. "Hello, my name is Jamie McCrimmon. Don't worry, we'll soon sort--"

There was a roar from the corridor, like a horrible belch, and a splat.

What looked like human remains--shoes, clothes, bones, hair--dropped down out of the ceiling in a gooey mess. Jamie drew his dirk and flicked his eyes upwards. He held out his arm in front of the lady, protectively, waiting with weapon poised for whatever it was to drop down on them.

"Doctor? Should we no' get back in the TARDIS?" Jamie hissed, then adding with no little sarcasm, "Or would ye rather just wait for the beastie tae get the drop on us?"

Nikki was quite glad that there were two people behind her and… whatever it was. Even if she didn’t know them. They both seemed nice though, something of a rarity with the people she normally met.

”We really should run!” spoke a voice in her head. The AI had the same voice as her own, but with a slightly more immature tone to it. Nikki was glad no one else could hear it. For once, she ignored it.

“Oh don’t worry Jamie. There’s no need to run.” The Doctor was looking up, seemingly unconcerned.

“What?” There was heavy disbelief in Jamie’s voice

“Listen.” Both Nikki and Jamie strained to hear, and then they caught it. The sound of footfalls above them, becoming steadily quieter as they moved away. The Doctor spun around and walked over to Nikki.

“Anyway, I’m the Doctor and this is Jamie, oh no wait, we’ve done that bit. What’s your name and more importantly, where are we?”

“You don’t know? Of course you don’t know or you wouldn’t have asked? Emmm, I don’t know either. I only just arrived, pulled through some kind of, well, wormhole I guess. And then I saw that poor woman grabbed and pulled onto the vent by a clawed hand and that’s what’s left of her isn’t it?” The rush of words came out with nervous energy. Amazingly, neither of them seemed irritated or even that bothered by her speaking. Nikki began warming towards the two of them.

“Yes, it is. Probably best if you don’t look at it. So, if you aren’t from around here, then we’ll need to find someone who is.” The Doctor made to head off, just as several individuals came thundering along both sides of the corridor.

“Or wait for them to find us.”

They were surrounded by five armed men, weapons drawn and pointed at them. The Doctor raised his hands in surrender, grinning.

“Just like old times, Jamie?”

Jamie slapped his forehead.

If any doubts had remained in the back of Jamie's mind about this actually being the Doctor, they were certainly gone now.

He let the guards relieve him of his knife and he raised his hands. They were holding some sort of weapon--Jamie caught sight of the settings: S - 1 - A--though until he handled the gun he wasn't going to bet on whether the "S" stood for "SAFETY" or "STUN"--and they looked to be big burly fellows who knew what they were on about. Still, they didn't look too agile...

Anyway, the Doctor would soon explain things, and Jamie was unconcerned. If you weren't getting accused of crimes on every planet in every star in the sky, you weren't flying aboard the TARDIS!

So...

"You never told me your name," he said, smiling warmly at the girl, who looked very frightened of the guards.

"N-Nikki," she stammered.

"Aye, well don' you fret, Nikki, we'll have this lot cleared up in--"

"You! No talking! Security Chief Kemble, and you are under arrest for the murder of--" the pile of goo was examined, "a...as yet unknown member of this planetoid's tech force--"

"So we're on a planetoid," the Doctor said. "Good, good, that rules out many things..."

"Rules out what?" the Kemble demanded.

"Well, what kind of snake you have crawling through your pipes," the Doctor pointed up. "I'll need to see your scanning equipment, though I'm sure this creature has some way of hiding, otherwise you wouldn't be arresting us, now, would you--"

"Silence!" another guard bellowed, raising the back of his weapon at the Doctor, at which Jamie leapt into action, pulling the Doctor back until Jamie was in the line of fire. But he made a grab for the weapon instead of letting it hit him, kicked the guard in the stomach, cut the strap holding the gun to him with his other knife, and relieved him of it.

In short order, the tides had turned. Jamie was holding the gun, and he turned it on the man who had been doing the talking: the security chief, the one who introduced himself as Kemble. Jamie was just considering a smart reply when--

"James Robert McCrimmon, put that gun down!"

Jamie turned to the Doctor, mouth agape in betrayed shock.

"But Doctor, he was going tae--"

"Down!"

"I didnae want him tae--"

"Jamie, we're not going to get anywhere if you insist on behaving like a Neanderthall!"

"I was just trying tae--" Nothing could withstand that steely glare, backed by Time itself. "Och, fine," Jamie grumbled, turning the weapon nose down and letting the guard take it back and another two guards grab him each by an arm.

"I do apologize for my companion, you know how excitable the Scots can be," the Doctor went on, "but would you mind taking me to your bridge, or control center?"

"Yeah..." the security chief was looking at the Doctor funny, and eyeing Jamie with suspicion. He didn't seem to know what to do with the girl. "Director Williams will know what to do with you."

“Doctor,” asked Jamie as they were led off, “Why did the beastie no attack us?”

“Oh that’s obvious. It was chasing Nikki here, and then it was suddenly outnumbered. Having just eaten, it decided a fight wasn’t worth it, at least for now.”

“Shut up!” snapped the guard who Jamie had disarmed earlier.

“Just let them talk,” retorted Kemble, sounding weary, “It’s not like they’re plotting to attack us again.”

With all the armed men surrounding her, Nikki was terrified, though oddly comforted by the two men that she had meant only seconds before. She did her normal tactic of calming down, gave herself a problem to keep her brain occupied. And there was an obvious one; what was that creature moving around the base.

What did she know?

The remains of the woman puzzled, as well as revolted, her. Given the short space of time since she was attacked to being completely dissolved, it didn’t fit the evidence. Most of the acid’s strong enough to do that kind of damage would have dissolved a lot more, leaving hardly any physical remains, and burning a hole in the floor. And normally that kind of acid did not exist inside animals stomachs. Or, it would have dissolved the flesh but leaving everything else, but in this case there were too few remains. Had the remains been all that was left after several hours, then it would make compete sense, but not in such a short space of time.

Hitting a dead end there, Nikki moved on to the idea that it was hidden from sensors. Scanning for life forms normally involved scanning for heat, heartbeats, brain activity and similar readings. As an animal, the latter was out. Now, when it came to robots, and Cybermen for that matter, there was no heartbeat, and sometimes no detectable heat, but they were still picked up because they had a physical presence. So somehow this creature was able to hide it’s heartbeat and presence from scanners. And in order to evolving in that way…

That was it, the creatures normal prey must have some form of sonar and extended hearing. And it had evolved ways to remain undetected by its prey. And if the prey also saw in infra-vision rather than the normal spectrum, then it all fitted. Which meant in order to detect it…

“The creature hunts through heat and sound. And it’s evolved to be almost undetected by both. It’s hide probably deflects scanners as well as sonars, and it must have the ability to regulate it’s body heat, or is naturally colder than normal. But it’s not used to visual senses, which mean that if you… erm, scan for visual movement you should, um, be able to detect it.” Her speech had started strong and confident, but as everyone turned to face her it faltered.

“How do you know?” asked the Doctor, “Did you see it?”

“Just its arm. I worked it out from what you said about sensors not picking it up.” She looked shyly at the floor, not realising the Doctor was smiling at her. Nikki tugged at her ear slightly, a little habit whenever she was nervous. But as it meant her hand came into contact with the cyber-implants, it did little to actually calm her down.

“You should stop showing off like that. You’re just embarrassing us.” came the AI’s voice in her head.

“I was not showing off.”

"Eh?" Jamie said. This girl may be cute but she seemed to talk to ghosts. He might have moved closer to her to ask who she was talking to but the guards kept him on a pretty tight leash, and growled at him if he so much as looked like he was going to twitch, much less talk to the Doctor or Nikki.

Aye, well. He'd only get in trouble with the Doctor again if he tried anything, which was much worse than whatever these guards thought they could do to him!

The corridors of this place grew more crowded as they headed towards what Jamie assumed was the hub or the central control area. They passed a few more guards and other persons who appeared to be working. Everyone seemed agitated, and looked at them with suspicion. Of course, just like the Doctor! Land somewhere where mysterious things are afoot, try to solve them, and get blamed for it.

Well, a McCrimmon never went down without a fight, yet, no matter what the Doctor said.

Jamie heard loud, angry voices before they even saw the door they were making for. Two people, a man and a woman, were arguing about something.

"We've got to shut them down!"

"Do you know how much money is riding on this? Do you know what I would have to say to the Council if we stopped now?"

"Then you'd rather be responsible for the lives of--why not even an hour ago we recieved report that--"

The security chief coughed, and the arguing stopped.

"Begging your pardon, Director, but I found these people wandering the halls, without passes, and no alibi near where the latest victim was found. I thought you might like to question them."

The Bachelor jumped in his TARDIS and shut the door just in time--mostly. That last shot from Jack Harkness caught his trousers on fire.

"Oi!" he said, quickly wriggling out of them. "These are original 1922 Dickies!"

"OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR, BACH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

The Bachelor laughed nervously and scrambled over behind the bar, and muttered, "Come on, buddy, come on! Don't let me down now!" as he pulled one of the draft handles.

The tap produced a few inches of pale ale into a stein, but also started taking off. The Bachelor gave a fist pump in celebration. Still, Jack probably wasn't going to let him get away that easy. He sank down behind the bar, watching the TARDIS flash and whir around him as he sipped at the ale. The TARDIS shuddered several times, probably from Jack Harkness firing at him. But he couldn’t do anything about it, so why worry? For a moment he thought about playing a game of Sontaran Solitaire while he waited for the TARDIS to arrive at his next destination.

Then, as the TARDIS gave a particularly violent shudder from what was an apparently violent shot from Jack, the TARDIS gave a thump. It wasn't a normal thump--even the Bachelor, who had broken the key in the TARDIS lock years ago and pulled the draft handles because *sometimes* they made the TARDIS work, knew that it was not a normal thump. Then there was a sort of sucking noise, and then the universe seemed to be vomiting him through time and space. He grabbed hold of another draft handle as the G-force threw him towards the ceiling, and most of the TARDIS lights exploded in a rain of glass--suddenly, everything stopped. He landed with a thud, headfirst on the green marble bar top. Everything went black.

He woke up a few minutes later, fully regenerated into his--what was it now?--fifth body. He sighed and got up, brushing himself off. Must have crashlanded, hit his head. Well, at least his body was used to regenerating. He didn't feel very different at all. He checked his new face in a mirror by the dim light of the emergency generator: why, he almost looked like that American actor from the 2000s…what was his name…

He glanced at the TARDIS CITAS ("coordinates in time and space", the Doctor told him, although for many years he hoped it stood for "chicks in thongs adder/subtracter". But you couldn't have everything) was stuck, as usual, at all sevens.

The walls of the TARDIS started to collapse, and he heard the familiar sound of the 20th century band Green Day playing away over the TARDIS intercom.

"Closing Time!" the Bachelor noted, and made a mad dash for the TARDIS door, which was shrinking into the shape of a refrigerator door. He managed to wriggle out at the last minute, before his TARDIS had finished converting itself into a 1960s American avocado green refrigerator. He fell out in a cascade of cheap beer cans into a stainless steel world.

“Extraordinary! Animate and inanimate objects moved through time and space!”

This came from someone else. The Bachelor blinked up at several people in lab coats standing around him, looking worried and excited. They were scribbling furiously on clipboards.

He jumped to his feet. “Quick?”

“What?”

“Quick!”

“You’re not wearing trousers!”

The Bach looked down, and was met with a view of his hairy legs sticking out of the bottom of a pair of boxers. They were the blue ones with little palm trees on them. “Ah. Yes. But that’s not important now! Where am I, now that’s important!” he ran over to a nearby table where there a thermos sat. He took a gulp from it, then spit it out.

The lab people looked worried. “What??”

“Eugh! Water!” He made a face and set it down. “Early forty-third century, recycled hydrosynthetic chamber. Particular to research outposts—one of those planetoids in the Bolios galaxy—Gamma Sigma, perhaps.” he glanced at the people warily. “Tell me, have you got anything stronger?”

The Director, a severe looking woman with her hair pulled back sat at the desk, looking up angry at the interruption. The man with her looked exhausted, as if arguing with her was a physically draining experience.

“Do we have to have all your guards around? The office is getting crowded.” The Director snapped. Kemble looked reluctant but sent the guards to wait outside. As he did so he caught the guard who had tried to attack the Doctor by the arm.

“If I see you try to beat up another unarmed prisoner, I’ll see to it that you’ll never get promoted again,” he hissed.

“But sir...” the guard began to protest.

“I know we’re under strain, but that’s no excuse, understand.” The guard nodded and Kemble let him go. The Director waited for a moment then asked;

“So you said you found them wandering the base?”

“We found them next to the remains Director. They were in the same state as all the others.”

“Hello there!” The Doctor suddenly interrupted. “I’m the Doctor, this is Jamie and this is Nikki. And you are…” The Doctor glanced at the nameplate on her desk, “Director Gail Williams and Mr?”

“Professor, actually,” though he sounded almost embarrassed to use the title. “Greg, er, Gregory Wilson”

“Greg then. Pleased to meet you. I think everyone here knows Kemble?” Nikki tried to supress a giggle, Greg smiled and there was even a flicker of amusement on Kembel’s face. Williams however was not impressed.

“Stop babbling and get to the point. There’s been eight murders on this station, no wait, you were found with the body of the ninth. So what do you have to say in your defence?” Hearing that there had been numerous killings shook Nikki out of her nervousness, somewhat ironically as she came to realise the implications. Just how much they were being accused of.

“Well, for starter’s we’ve only just arrive, so how could we have anything to do with them?” the Doctor began. “Jamie and I are time travellers, we got caught in a Time Storm and ended up crashing in your base. Nikki here must have got caught in our wake. As for the murders, basically, they aren’t murders. You’ve got something very large and very hungry crawling around your vents.”

“Poppycock!” exclaimed the Director.

“He’s right, I’ve seen it,” blurted out Nikki. Then she heard;

“If they don’t believe him why will they believe you?” Nikki replied to the AI with an incoherent mumble.

“I think they’re telling the truth Williams,” objected Wilson. “Remember what Holden said about some kind of creature.”

“Holden’s lazy and a liar. More likely he was sleeping when his shift was attacked, and dreamed a monster,” Williams snapped dismissively.

“But even so what about the three of them being time travellers? Look at how they’re dressed. And the girls tag, look at the date on it.” Greg pointed towards the ID tag Nikki was wearing. Her head dropped again as everyone looked her way. “ And there was the arrival of that other strange girl as well. Maybe the experiments are… somehow ‘grabbing’ people. Another reason to shut them down.”

“What experiments?” asked the Doctor politely.

“We are NOT going to discuss the experiments with you. Especially as all you’ve given us is some made up fairy tale.”

“I think I believe them as well, ma’am.”

“You do?” the Doctor exclaimed sounding surprised.

“About the time travel, yes. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for the murders.” The Doctor nodded as if he was expecting something like that.

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” said Wilson. “I suggest there is an easy way to see if some of his story is true, have a look at his time machine.”

“There was a strange box where we found him. But I wouldn’t have called it a time machine,” replied Kemble

“That was a ship?” Nikki exclaimed with surprise. The very idea of a wooden ship was insane. There was no way wood could stand up to the kind of stresses involved.

“Oh, looks can be deceiving,” the Doctor replied with practiced ease.

“Oh, very well,” Williams finally conceded, “Check out that box and then throw them in the brig.”

“Ma’am, we don’t have a brig.”

“Then one of the secure observation labs, or a broom cupboard if you have to! Once there you can interrogate them about the killings.” She made a gesture of obvious dismissal.

Not for the first time, and probably not for the last, she sat in her chair twiddling with a little hand-sized electric engine and poked idly through non-memories in her head while she worked. Several days ago, presumably, she’d had memories to poke through while tinkering with things, but now it was like… they’d all temporarily vacated their previous home for greener shores. The scientists who’d found her had told her that probably with time her memory would come back, and that any little thing might trigger it. And it wasn’t as if she remembered nothing. She remembered she didn’t like a specific odd red berry with seeds on the outside, native to some planet somewhere. They hadn’t looked up the planet yet. She didn’t remember, precisely, tinkering with things… but everyone had to admit she had a knack for kicking things, either literally or figuratively, to make them work, though she couldn’t remember why she should be so talented.

“They’re starting one of the experiments over in the lab and need my assistance,” someone said, snapping her right out of her tinkering and her thinking.

“Oh. Can I bring this?” she asked, taking the comment to mean they were going somewhere. In hopes of triggering her memory, as soon as it was clear she wasn’t going to drop dead on the spot, the various scientists had taken to having her tag along to the lab, to the cafeteria where they ate, even to the lounges where they watched TV or played strange games she was absolutely sure she’d never learned. Except ping-pong. She liked ping-pong. The doctor in front of her shrugged and headed out the door, so the young woman followed him out the door and down the hall. When they entered the lab, she went to the far side to one of the desks and set her machine down on top, using a fingernail to move a little spring from one side of a lever to the other. Then she tried the switch, and with a small ‘ping!’ the engine started whirring and turning just as it should. She held it up to look at it and one of the lab assistants, on her way out the door, stopped to also look at it from over her shoulder.

“Fixed another, did you?” she asked, shaking her head. Still holding the engine, the young woman turned, a little startled because she hadn’t heard her approaching.

“One of the springs’d gotten around behind the lever, instead of above it, was all,” she said nonchalantly, “What’s it do, anyway?” she asked, and the assistant shrugged, and then waved before she was shooed out the door.

“I’m done, what else needs fixin’?” the girl asked the room at large, but she was waved into silence. Apparently they were running one of their experiments. She was allowed to stay because they didn’t exactly trust her not to go looking for things to do if left to her own devices. It was probably a wise precaution to take, given what she’d done to one of the malfunctioning drink machines in the cafeteria. It had been spitting out drinks three for every one chosen when last she’d seen it. But that was surely better than not spitting out any at all, right? She watched the area around which everyone was milling with a sort of detached curiosity, and waited for something interesting to happen. At first, there was nothing in the room. Then, there was… a large black hole of nothing.

Of course, it was that of all things that triggered her memory, and not all of it. She saw the black hole and remembered she wanted nothing to do with it- that was how she’d gotten here. She remembered being sucked through something before she landed crashing down on… something. Presumably metal, given the memory loss. Something harder than her skull, anyway.

Upon seeing the black hole, she threw herself backwards into the chair and the chair toppled over with her in it, so she landed sprawling behind it and the engine she’d so carefully fixed went winging across the lab to land with a crash on the other side. A single spring bounced back toward her across the floor, but she was too busy hiding- or trying to hide- behind the chair, her 5’10” frame wrapped up in something close to a pretzel as she tried to take cover from the black hole so it wouldn’t suck her in.

Except… it wasn’t sucking in anything. She pondered this for a moment and then peeked over the edge of the chair, just in time to hear one of the scientists shout about things traveling through space and time, and to see a refrigerator of truly tragic color land with a thunk in the lab. As the door swung open and cans came tumbling out, she stepped around the chair and righted it, watching curiously as a man stepped out- of the fridge?- and demanded to know where and when he was. Oh, and something stronger than water. Well, she could help with that. Going to the drawer where she had seen one of the scientists putting a little metal liquid container the other day, she rolled it open and picked out the flask.

“Hey, here,” she said by way of warning, and tossed it across the lab to the newcomer in a classic game of “think fast”. Honestly, it seemed like the most logical thing to do. A man wearing boxers with palm trees had just stumbled out of a horrid green fridge, so tossing said stranger a flask of some sort of alcohol just had to fit the logic of the whole situation, right?

"Thanks!" he said, catching the flask. He had lots of practice catching alcohol that was thrown at him. He took a swig, and smiled. "Oh, yes…4320 was a very good year, wasn't it?" He nodded and put the cap on the flask. "But I don't drink solvents before 5 pm, especially a industrial turpentine--thanks, anyway." He looked around. "Nice place you have here, Doctor," he said, addressing the girl who handed him the flask. She was very pretty. Very pretty! He liked brunettes! And her look of amusement was much better than the looks the others were giving him. He walked over and held out his hand. "Sorry about my appearance--didn't have time to change. My name's the Bachelor--what's yours? And do you know where I am? And do you know where I can get some trousers?"

"Er--"

"Not that I need any now, necessarily. You know, there's some planets that will refuse you service for not wearing a shirt or shoes, but missing trousers is alright. More places in the universe make sure you have a tie before they check for legwear. Listen, maybe you can show me around? This is a research outpost, isn't it? I hope I didn't ruin any of your experiments."

That was industrial turpentine? What was one of the scientists doing keeping industrial turpentine in a flask in a desk? For the moment, the question would remain unanswered, since the scientist nicked the flask from the newcomer’s hand while he was rabbiting on at a mile a minute.

“I… uh,” she said in response to the rapid-fire questioning, because she had exactly as many answers as he did. She also shook his hand, albeit a little dazedly. Anyway, he was talking again, so maybe an answer wasn’t necessary. She tried to keep up as much as she could, given that she was beginning to wonder if she hadn’t hit her head again and was now having hallucinations on top of amnesia. Finally the man- The Bachelor, which was the strangest name she thought she’d ever heard- stopped talking.

“I dunno,” she said, and realizing from his expectant look that this was not a complete answer, added, “To any of the above. My name, where this is, exactly, or about the trousers. There’s some clothes in the infirmary though, if you like light blue,” she said. They’d given her back her own clothes, all faded and dusty and telling her nothing useful, but when they’d then insisted on washing them, she’d had to tromp around in horrible ugly loose-fitting light blue clothes.

“Nice to meet you, though. Why were you in a refridgerator?” she asked, and mentally, Why do I know what that is? She shook her head, brows drawn together in confusion and a little bit of frustration. This was becoming very annoying.

“I think it’s a research outpost. They sure do enough breakin’ things to be a research outpost,” she added, “Speaking of which…” She went across the room to the broken engine- broken beyond repair, now. One of the springs had bounced under the fridge, she thought, right before it appeared. Poking at it in her palm, she separated out the unbroken pieces and stuck them in one of her many pockets before returning to where she’d been standing and rolling from her toes to her heels a bit awkwardly. The scientists were muttering excitedly about something over in a corner, pointing at their notes and waving arms and generally looking like a pair of 5-year-olds with a brilliant discovery, and she was hoping eventually they’d feel like sharing.

"Light blue? No, I can't wear the same color trousers as boxers. Too much blue, if you know what I mean. I'm sure I'll find something around." He glanced back at the TARDIS. "And as for the refrigerator...well, it isn't *always* a refrigerator. Except--now it is. Not sure I understand it, myself. But you seem like you understand machines very well!" he added, noticing that she had pocketed some mechanical parts while she was talking. Girls who liked machines were almost as attractive as girls who were actually machines. "Maybe you could help me repair it sometime. It's bigger on the inside!"

"Nice pick-up line," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I know, right? Did it work?"

"Not really."

He laughed. "Well, it was worth a shot." He glanced over at the researchers, who opened the refrigerator door and were arguing about whether to try one of the beers. "They don't seem to be very friendly. You're working for them?"

"Not really," she said. "It's hard to explain."

He nodded. "Well, since you can't remember your name, how about I call you..." The first thing that popped into his head was the brand name on the tin of turpentine, so he said, "...Sarasine?"

“You’re naming me after industrial turpentine?” the young woman- Sarasine, she guessed, now- asked the Bachelor with no little amusement.

“Well… yes, actually,” he said. Sarasine gave the tin of turpentine a long glance, and then shrugged.

“It sure beats ‘Hey you there’, I’d say,” she replied. She was about to ask why, exactly, the fridge wasn’t always a fridge and why it was bigger on the inside than the outside, because bad pick-up line aside, that was interesting, but the doctor and the scientist had finished conversing and broke in.

“Er, one moment please. You know each other?” Smith asked, and Sarasine and the Bachelor both looked at him like he was an idiot. Sarasine did realize, somewhat belatedly, that they’d been carrying on almost like they knew each other.
“Never seen him in my life,” she said assuredly.

“But don’t you have-“ the Bachelor started to ask, but she interrupted him.

“Amnesia. Yes. I don’t know you, do I?” she asked, and he had to think for a moment. There was no telling, sometimes, really. But he didn’t think he knew her, so he shook his head.

Doctor Smith looked a little crestfallen, and Sara realized he’d been hoping she’d remembered something. But his disappointment was soon put aside, as he hurriedly conferred one more with Roberts.

“No, no, she doesn’t know him. They’re not from the same time,” Smith said, and Roberts shook her head.

“We should send him back. Reverse the experiment,” Roberts replied, and Sarasine noticed out of the corner of her eye that the Bachelor was glancing nervously at his sometimes-refrigerator.

“You can make the machine do that?” Smith asked, and Roberts laughed.

“Of course! We just change the coordinates, and run the inverse of the-“

“Excuse me-“ the Bachelor said, but Roberts was in full-on scientist mode and would not be distracted.

“And calculate the thermocline of the nearest-“ she continued. Sara had long since lost track of what she was saying.

“Hey! Hello! Yes, you. Thank you. See, you can’t just send me back through there,” the Bachelor explained, having finally succeeded in distracting Roberts and Smith.

“But whyever not? It is the simplest of adjustments,” Roberts said.

“Oh yeah, that sounded simple alright. Just twiddle with that doo-hickey and flip that switch there and…” Sarasine grumbled, until the Bachelor glanced at her and she realized she should probably shut up.

“Don’t worry, you can take the refrigerator with you. It clashes horribly with the entire lab anyway,” Smith said in that tone of voice he’d used on Sarasine when she’d woken up and he’d told her, “Don’t worry, you’ll remember eventually”.

“Ah! No, you wouldn't want to do that, I think. Not until it’s decided that it’s ready to go. It's got to--sort of--be in the mood. I can't just get back in it! What do you take me for, a genie?” the Bachelor said, sounding a little more worried. It could have had something to do with the borderline predator-stalking-prey looks Roberts and Smith were giving him.
“We’ll send it after you, then, after we send you,” Roberts said, and the Bachelor shook his head.

“No, you really, really, really don’t want to do that. Do you know what you’re messing with, here? You can’t send me through that without protection or I’ll die, and women everywhere will be unbelievably devastated. You don’t want that, do you?” he said tragically.

Roberts and Smith both appeared to consider this for a moment.

“With all due respect, sir, I think we know our own experiments better than… than some man in light blue boxers who was hiding in a tastelessly-colored refrigerator,” Roberts said, no longer quite as polite as she’d been before. She and Smith both stalked forward while the Bachelor glared at them. And then, in the immortal words of medical professionals everywhere, Smith said-

“Trust me, I’m a doctor.” A brief flicker of amusement crossed the Bachelor’s face, and then he looked entirely unimpressed.

“No, you are a mad man, and if anyone has ever trusted you just for saying that, they’re out of their minds,” he said, stepping near Sarasine as if she might be some defense against the other two.

“Wait just a second. You can’t just go around chuckin’ people in wormholes! I don’t know how you people do science here, but that’s just not right,” Sara said, and heard a muttered thank you from the Bachelor, and a low-level hum that started abruptly getting louder. Both Smith and Roberts looked a little confused.

“Oh, it’s perfectly fine. That’s how we do science, we’ve always done it that way,” Roberts said placatingly and Sara scowled at the shorter woman, who seemed to realize just how tall Sara was when she acted like it, and backed off a step. The hum by now was enough to distract the errant scientists and they turned to look in the direction of their great experiment as the air there flickered and waved like air over a hot desert.

“That’s not good,” the Bachelor said from behind Sarasine and she stepped back to stand next to him and as far from the air as she could get without going through a wall.

Just then, through an opposite door, one of the research assistants forgot to knock and threw the door open to stride into the room. She strode right into the shimmering air just as the Bachelor jumped forward and shouted at her to stop. For a moment they both stood in the shimmering air, before the research assistant got a very startled look on her rapidly aging face. Though she took a step back, it seemed she was caught in the experiment itself, and Sara, Roberts, and Smith watched in horror as she aged past her time and dropped in a heap on the floor. The shimmer slowly left the air and left the Bachelor- completely alive and not aged more than the moments he’d been in the experiment- and the hurriedly-aged research assistant.

“Why her?! She was pretty! Er… not that I would wish that on anyone. Accelerated aging due to the misfire of an ill-conceived wormhole experiment. Very nasty,” the Bachelor said when everyone stared at him

“But… how… why?” Sarasine asked eloquently, and then realized how stupid she sounded. But why wasn’t he as dead as the unfortunate RA?

This Greg fellow followed them out to the corridor, a shamed look on his face. Jamie didn't blame him, taking orders from that woman--Jamie knew the type: the Damn-The-Consequences type. He used to be that way, but the Doctor had taught him better.

"Kemble, a moment," Greg said. They exchanged an odd glance, and Kemble grumbled but pretended to be interested in something the other direction. The guards even finally let go of Jamie.

"I'm sorry about this," Greg said to the Doctor, who raised his hand to stop him.

"Not at all, my good man, you're clearly doing your best."

"No, you don't understand, it's my fault we're in this mess!" he blurted out, then stopped, nervous, looking around, and dissolved into a nervous chuckle. "The things one does for a government grant," he said. This didn't make sense to Jamie, but the Doctor nodded.

"What are the experiments exactly?" he asked quietly.

"Time experiments. We're able to open wormholes in spacetime, and objects keep coming through, sometimes people. We really should have understood the data more, but you know how politicians are, they want results--"

Kemble coughed loudly.

"At any rate, I want you to know I am doing everything in my power to help you," the scientist concluded.

The Doctor nodded, a bit condescendingly, a bit ironically, but Jamie was pretty sure only he spotted this. "Oh, thank you," he said, and with a nod from Kemble, the guards led them again down the corridors.

They passed a few laboratories (if all white rooms with delicate machines Jamie couldn't fathom the purpose for were laboratories), with people working in them. He saw the Doctor peering into each before he stopped at one.

Now, few things actually surprised the Doctor, in Jamie's experiments. He could be startled, frightened even, but never fully taken aback by any turn of events. Jamie figured it was part of his magic (although he thought this to himself, the Doctor wasn't keen on being told he was 'magic'). But he seemed fairly startled now.

"What? The Bachelor? Send him away? Not on your life!" he shouted into one of the laboratories, where, presumably, something interesting was going on. A few of the guards moved over to him, making to drag him onward. For once, this didn't worry Jamie.

Because now the hairs on the back of Jamie's neck stood to attention like wee soldiers, and he knew they all were about to fall under attack.

"Oh." It was a bit of a conundrum why the Bachelor didn't find himself in his twelfth regeneration when he was equally caught in the time vortex experiment. He shrugged. "Well, I'm not exactly human. We age differently." Yes, that sounded about right. Sounded just like something his brother would say...

"What. Happened?" This came from Smith. He appeared to be trembling a little.

Roberts sniffed and quickly checked one of the control panels at the side of the room. "Oh--that explains it," she said, tapping the glass cover on one of the gauges with a flick of her pen. "The thoron emissions were reset after he and the green box showed up. A minor error."

"Someone just died!!" Smith exploded. The Bachelor, though he couldn't help noticing that Smith was looking a little odd, nodded in agreement.

"A minor error," Roberts said, looking a little flustered, "Easily corrected! There's no reason we can't continue with the experiments. Er...I'll make a note about the RA."

"That can't be a minor error," Smith was saying under his breath. "It can't just...have gone wrong on its own..."

"Sorry?" Roberts said, clearly thinking about other things as she adjusted the controls.

"You're not sending that man back through," Smith said.

"Who's in charge, here?" Roberts snapped. "If I want to send him back to where he came from I assure you--"

"What? The Bachelor? Send him away? Not on your life!"

This came from a figure standing in the doorway. He smiled and waved at the Bachelor. "Hello, little brother!"

The Bachelor grinned, and felt as if a huge weight had lifted from his shoulders. "Doctor! Am I glad to see you!"

Nikki peeked round from behind the Doctor to look into the labs. It was larger than the other they’d past but far more crowded with both machines and people. Two thinks were completely wrong with it though. The first was a horrible green fridge. And the second was the man in missing his trousers. Who smiled at Nikki when he saw her.

“Why is that creepy guy staring at you like that?” Nikki heard the AI in her head pipe up.

“I don’t think he’s creepy,” she replied, oblivious as always that it appeared she was talking to thin air.

“He’s in his boxers!” the AI exclaimed.

“Maybe there’s a reason for that. Could be he spilt acid on them?”

“You are far too trusting. You’ll believe anything people tell you. Did you know that stars are actually giant fireflies?” it replied sarcastically.

“I am not too trusting.”

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

A cry from behind distracted her, and Nikki spun round in time to see one of their guards disappear into a vent just like before. Only this time after a few moments the roof collapsed, taking down the lights with it. Only a handful remained, and those flickered unevenly. In the darkness Nikki could just make out a shape moving, and not a very pleasant moving shape.

“This is wrong,” she heard the Doctor say from the door, “It shouldn’t be driven to attack so soon.”

The next second Kemble shouted at his men to fire, and bright laser bolts streaked down the corridor. Suddenly it seemed to Nikki as if what was happening on front of her was just an illusion. The events happening were overlaid by others, like watching two films at once both projecting on the same screen. Giant silver men boarding the outpost. Shooting down the guards without pity. Rounding up the others. Being dragged into their ship despite the counterattack.

Kemble moved over and tried to push Nikki back, but she only moved a few faltering steps. The suddenly the creature was back in the darkness, bowling over Nikki and pinning Kemble.

Instinctively, Jamie made a grab for the Doctor, urging-but-not-quite-pushing-him-because-he-hated-that through the lab door and out of the corridor, out of danger.

Then the roof caved in, and the beastie dropped down among them. Jamie felt his heart slow along with the world around him. It had four legs, or else two legs and two arms, like a man. But it was no man. The creature was dark, and had no mouth: just a great gaping hole of teeth. The soldiers were shooting at it, painting colorful arcs in the darkened hallway, but the blows glanced off, harmless, except for one which made the beastie cringe and cry out, one which hit it in the softer underbelly.

Jamie realized, too late, that Nikki was still within its reach, and he cried out to her, but she stood still as if she hadn't heard him. Perhaps fear had taken her?

Jamie turned to one of the guards:

"Give me yer gun!" he hoped demanding it would make the guard capitulate, but he was to have no such luck:

"Like hell!" the man replied, shaking him off.

"Fine, then!" Jamie shouted back. "Aim for its belly, and try tae hit it this time!"

"It's hunched over, how do you expect me to--Chief!" the guard shrieked as Kemble, protecting the girl, was caught in the creature's jaws instead.

Jamie scrunched up his nose and gave half a pause at this, although in real time he was indecisive for an immeasurable time. I could let the beast kill Kemble, he began to think, before he added to himself, Aye, the man who just saved that young girl? And don't forget he reamed his soldier for threatening the Doctor. It's no' his fault his men are tossers.

Jamie was already running. He rolled past the creature to get behind it, dodging laser blasts more than he was dodging the beastie, who was quite focused on his prey. He took his final hidden knife from his boot--no one had discovered it yet, luckily--and climbed atop the beastie's back. It was ridged and felt like rough leather, or scales even. He didn't think his wee knife would do hardly anything.

Still, all he had to do was make his presence known.

And that he did, stabbing it in the neck, causing the beastie to rear up with a horrible cry. Jamie was bucked off, but a few laser blasts rang out, and the beastie shuddered, buckling over, falling back, nearly rolling over him. It wailed again, a death-cry, and stumbled back down the corridor.

And armed only with his trusty fruit-knife, without missing a beat, Jamie ran after it.

The world shifted back into proper focus. Thankfully the version without the Cybermen. She already felt a lot calmer, but it made Nikki uncomfortable that the memories could just well up like that. She’d have to learn to control them, somehow.

She heard a cry from the creature and watched vanish as it hurtled down the corridor. Jamie was hot on its heels, but the Doctor cried out ‘Wait’. Jamie did not appear to hear.

Nikki became aware that there was blood on her hands, but it wasn’t hers. It was coming from Kemble, who was pulling himself into a sitting position. She looked over Kemble, there was a gash in his side from where the creature had bitten him. It didn’t seem to Nikki fatal, but there was a lot of blood.

“Doctor?” she asked.

“I’m not that sort of doctor,” he replied. There were cries of ‘medic’ from the guards, and eventually another doctor, looking somewhat shell shocked, emerged from the lab and started looking over Kemble’s wounds. From behind them Greg spoke up, he had joined them when the fight broke out, looking to see what the commotion was about.

“What was that creature? And where did it come from, there’s no life on this planet.”

“Where did it come from?” repeated Nikki, “isn’t that obvious. The same way we did. Through your experiments.”

There was a sort of pregnant series of seconds in which a lot happened that the Bachelor wasn't really quite sure he understood. A monster of some kind showed up, ate some people, got shot, and was now being chased by the kilted kid--the Doctor had told the Bachelor about him--what was his name, Jamie? He seemed competent. He'd have to buy him a drink some time--if he was still alive after he tracked it down.

"You alright?" he added as an afterthought to Sara. She nodded, also somewhat bewildered. But he was a lover, not a fighter, and he was glad that the others had taken care of the threat.

"It's not over yet," the Doctor said. "Come on, we better get after it."

They started jogging down the hall. "How long has it been? The Bachelor asked the Doctor, "two hundred years?"

"You've lost count somewhere," the Doctor said.

"Oh. How did the wedding go? Did we get you there alright?"

The Doctor blinked, giving this some thought. "Hmm. I don't think its happened yet."

"Right," the Bachelor said, nodding knowingly. "Oh--Doctor, meet my friend Sara. She's got amnesia."

"Hallo," The Doctor said, waving in a friendly but somewhat preoccupied manner.

"He's got a lot on his mind," the Bachelor explained to Sara. "Here, do you think you could make a gun or something to get that monster for good?"

"Brother? There's two of you?" Sara asked vaguely on the heels of the arrival of the Doctor. But there wasn't really time for an answer, because there appeared to be a monster outside the room, and it seemed to be attacking people. Sara couldn't see anything from within the lab, for which she was somewhat grateful, as it sounded like complete chaos, what with some fellow shouting in an accent unknown and nearly unintelligible to Sara and other people- soldiers, maybe? replying.

She followed the Bachelor because she didn't want to stay in the lab with crazy people, especially since said crazy people seemed to think they were perfectly sane.

"Nice to meet you," Sara replied to the Doctor's preoccupied hello.

"Ummm, I could maybe make y' a potato gun, or a pea shooter," she said, "Or one of those staple shooters out of a pen, but nothin' serious. I could try and fix a gun. You got one?" she asked practically.

"What are we chasing, by the way?" she added a moment later, trying to strike a tone that sounded more off-handed than nervous. Isolated as she'd been in the infirmary or the lab with Smith and Roberts, she hadn't heard of the attacks going around, or the monster itself. But it had sounded pretty serious when it was attacking people in the hall, and quite frankly she was a little bit worried that they were chasing it down. Didn't one usually run from such things?

"I really don't know what we're chasing," the Bachelor said with a shrug. "Personally I usually run in the opposite direction when these things happen. But the Doctor'll fix everything, I'm sure. Yes, he travels through time like me. Does it better, too, but that's big brothers for you."

"But--you can't be younger than him!"

"Well, you know--time, and all that." He searched his pockets. "Let's see--bottlecap, bottlecap, wine cork, corkscrew, humorously tiny umbrella..." he let these all drop out of his pockets as they jogged along. "Here!" he said finally. He pulled out a gun and gave it to her. "It's a lighter, really," he added sheepishly. "But maybe you could make it shoot fire!"