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One Step At A Time

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151One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 25th May 2012, 18:34

MissAusten

MissAusten

“Jo, you’re okay?” Liam walked into the bathroom, seeing her in her usual positing, kneeling on the floor and hugging the toilet. He sat down next to her and rubbed her back. “I’m really not an expert on pregnancies, but I’m pretty sure puking every single day isn’t normal…”

Jo looked at him with big, frightened eyes, and he realized that he only made it worse. “Like I said, I’m not an expert. I mean, maybe it’s not normal, maybe it is, I don’t know…”

Tears were running down her cheeks. “I don’t want to lose her, Liam…”, she whispered.

“That’s not going to happen”, he said, though he had no idea if he was right. He knew about Elizabeth’s numerous miscarriages, so problematic pregnancies seem to run in the family.
“We’ll go to the doctor tomorrow”, he said, squeezing her hand comforting.

The doctor’s appointment the next day went fine, he took blood and said everything looked good so far, but Jo didn’t seem to relax, she was too worried that she would lose the baby just like her mother lost all the babies that came before her.
Shortly after Jo’s birthday Liam had to go to Southampton to interview a possible student for the school. He worried a bit about leaving Jo alone since she was in a very fragile state right now. As soon as the interview was done he went back home as fast as possible. When he entered the big house he walked into Ellen, who had looked out for Jo while he was gone.

“How is she?”, he asked.

“Last time I checked she was sleeping”, Ellen replied, then she took a deep breath. “I know what’s going on…”

Liam wasn’t really surprised anymore, it was kind of easy to tell what was going on, but Jo still insisted on keeping it a secret.
“I’ve been there”, Ellen continued. “Two times. It didn’t hit me as hard as Jo, probably because Jo is younger than I was and physically a lot weaker, but what she really needs now, more than anything, is the support of her husband. You have no idea how important that is for a pregnant woman. Having a caring husband at her side helps much more than any medication. She really needs you, now more than anything.”

Liam nodded. He was very quiet because he had to think of how hard it must have been for his mother to have absolutely nobody at her side while he was pregnant with him.
“I’ll go and check on her”, he said to Ellen, then went upstairs where he found Jo, lying on the bed, a small notebook in her hand. She had her eyes closed and breathed very slowly. Liam carefully took the notebook and his eyes wandered over a few lines where Jo wrote that she didn’t want to lose the baby and all she wanted was to feel Liam’s arms. He closed the book, lay down next to her and put his arms around her. Holding Jo was the best feeling he knew, and he hoped in a couple of months he could hold his child as well.

152One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 26th May 2012, 01:23

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo slept through the night fully peacefully and of course it was Liam who woke up before her. He didn’t leave to make breakfast as he normally did, he just waited and watched his sleeping wife. Jo moved her lips once in a while as if she was talking, she probably was in her dream. And then she started to stir, Liam knew that she would wake up soon, he untangled her so that she could hurry to the toilet as every morning. And then she opened her eyes slowly she smiled when she saw Liam watch her. “Hey handsome.”

“Hey.”

“You are back, how long did I sleep?”

“A while.” Liam kissed her gently.

Jo looked at him. “You didn’t stay another night and came home? I’m glad you did.”

“How do you feel? Any nausea?”

Jo shook her head, that’s when he saw the silent tears run down her face. “It okay I’m here and not going anywhere.”

“Liam? Don’t be mad okay?”

“Why should I be mad?” Liam was a little confused.

“I went yesterday into town I was just running some errands and well I planned to surprise Ricky but I didn’t. I was in a shop looking at maternity clothes when erm I felt weird, it felt like… the time when I have my…you know…” Jo were blushing she didn’t like talking about her period with Liam.

“Your period?” Liam asked so he was able to follow her way of thought. Jo nodded. And suddenly Liam got worried. “Wait you were bleeding?”

“Please, don’t be mad. I’m so sorry. I erm I got so scared and went to the doctor right away and had a freaked out in the waiting room and I got examined and he took some more blood. He said because it wasn’t a lot of blood and I didn’t have any cramps that I am okay and the baby is too. It can happen to have light bleeding in the first trimester and I’m just in the 8th week. He said to monitor the bleeding and if I start to feel any pain to go to the hospital right away. I’m so sorry Liam. I’m messing everything up, first I get pregnant and now I’m so annoying. I really try not to be such a burden for you it just doesn’t seem to stop.” Jo was still lying in their bed while Liam was sitting and leaning against the headboard. “I think the bleeding stopped.”

153One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 26th May 2012, 20:58

MissAusten

MissAusten

Liam took a deep breath. “You don’t have to apologize for it.”

“But when I lose the baby-“

“You’re not going to lose the baby”, he interrupted her sternly. “You went to the doctor today, right?”

“Yes.”

“And he said everything was okay, right?”

“Yes, but-“

“So why do you freak out about it? You make it worse than it is.” He didn’t want to sound upset, but the fact that something could be wrong with the baby did worry him, he just didn’t want to show it. It was enough having Jo to worry, it wouldn’t help the situation if he was worrying too.

“My mother…”, she whispered, her voice trembling.

“What about her?”

“She lost so many children…”

“Yes, she did, but you’re not your mother, and you won’t lose this baby.” Liam tried to sound calm. “Just because she lost so many children doesn’t mean you will. You understand me?” He took her hand and squeezed it. She nodded quietly, but still looked insecure.

Man, that was a tough job. He loved Jo more than anything, but he didn’t expect the pregnancy to be such a hard time for both of them. Other pregnant women seemed okay, so why did Jo have to have such a hard time? Everyone expected him to be there for her, to comfort and support her, but it really wasn’t all that easy. From the moment he started dating her over three years ago everyone expected him to take care of her, and he didn’t even have the chance to grow up properly because from one day to the next he had this huge responsibility, and now, three and a half years later, he had no longer this one huge responsibility but actually two, because there were two human beings he had to take care of now. No, he didn’t feel like he got the chance to really grow up. People just expected him to be grown up from the moment he got together with Jo. He had to be grown up for Jo, and for the baby.
Liam sighed. “Want me to make you some tea?”

154One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 27th May 2012, 00:59

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Surprisingly Jo kept her cup of chamomile tea and one and a half slices of toast with jam down. Liam kissed her and said he had to work on a gadget. “You rest a little more, okay?”

Jo smiled and nodded.

“I’m glad you are keeping your breakfast down. Try later to drink some orange juice, it is good for you.”

“Okay. Don’t work too hard.” Jo looked sleepy again, it was weird how much she could sleep. Jo slept another hour before she took a shower and went downstairs. She found Ellen in the living room.

“Hey love, how do you feel?” Ellen smiled at her friend. Jo chuckled, Teddy was with Gracie again.

“Erm Ellen I am pregnant.” Jo whispered.

“Yes tell me something new love.”

“You do?”

“Yes, so how are you?”

“I’m okay. I had bleedings yesterday…”

“That is not right away something bad. How much bleeding was it? And did you have cramps?” Ellen several files on the little coffee table and the couch, the ones on the couch she took and put on the table. “Sit down, love.”

Jo sat down and took one of the pillows and hugged it.

“It wasn’t a lot bleeding, and no I didn’t have cramps. Just the bleeding.” Jo whispered. Ellen hugged her.

“Don’t worry Jo it is okay to be scared, but listen. I know how you feel and you are lucky that Liam is there for you, but he is just as scared. You need to try and be there for him too. It is not just you who is pregnant, not you alone it is you two that are expecting a child. I’m not saying don’t lean on him, but also let him lean on you.” Ellen looked at her daughter she was sitting on the floor in front of Teddy, she was telling him a story in her own language. It was adorable.
Jo looked for a long time at Ellen. “Ellen my mother had many, many babies before me some were miscarriages and some were stillborn. When she was pregnant with me, she stayed in bed the entire time and barely moved. I was a miracle.”

“I know sometimes problems like this lie in families but you will be fine.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you and Liam love this baby so much that it wants to meet you. And no offence but I think your mother didn’t want any more children after some time and just felt like it was her duty to give your father a child. So each time she thought she was pregnant she knew it would not work out. And you want this baby, it might not be the moment you thought it would happen but you know that God would never do anything that wouldn’t have a good end, and if it is not good it is not the end yet.”

Jo smiled. “I think that for a long time that Mother stopped wanting children after the first ones she lost. Ellen do you think to be a good mother you need a good role model, a good mother?”

“To be a mother is easy. All you have to do is give birth to a child. But to be a mom you don’t need a role model. You look in your heart and find the love you need. And Jo you have all the love you need to be a great mom, Liam still needs a little help because he doesn’t believe he can be a dad. It takes dads always until the baby is born to be a dad. They often need to find something to bond with the baby. He will find something. Don’t worry and he will love the baby because it is his baby with the woman he loves more than anything.”

“Why did you get a divorced?” Jo whispered.

“Stuart wanted me to be his little house wifey, but I wanted to be more than just raise my children and clean the house. I wanted to teach. I love teaching children. But Stuart wanted me to stay at home and then came Gracie. He said it was my fault that she is like she is, because I went to work during the pregnancy. He left a week after her birth, he wanted to give her away and I couldn’t give my girl away just because she has some disabilities. I still love her, but Stuart never understood that. He never saw her beauty.” Ellen smiled at her daughter and Teddy. “I think Teddy is spending so much time with Gracie since you are back because he already knew and is now practicing to help with the baby. I sometimes see him grab her-“ Jo looked scared and worried at Teddy… “-no no no not like this, when she falls and needs help. But that’s what I mean he is practicing to know how to grab her quickly but only her clothes. And other things like opening doors, finding things. I don’t think you need to worry that he is a danger for the baby, he will be like Nana in Peter Pan.”

Jo started laughing. “I don’t think Liam would let me hire Teddy as nanny. Ellen do you mind if I let you and Gracie eat lunch alone while I go and eat with Liam?”

“No not at all.” Ellen hugged Jo. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks.”

Jo went in the big kitchen and made sandwiches, some apples, tea and she took even a jug orange juice. She put everything in the big picnic basket and carried it to Liam’s lab where she knocked at the door and waited patiently for Liam to open.

155One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 27th May 2012, 23:28

MissAusten

MissAusten

When someone knocked on the door, Liam already expected Gracie because she often knocked on his door to see what he was doing. He liked the fact that she seemed so interested in his work, but he always got a little nervous having her in his lab because he worried that something might happen to her, and he really didn’t want her to get hurt in any way.
Liam washed his hands quickly and opened the door, but it wasn’t little Gracie, it was Jo.

“Hey…” He immediately worried if something was wrong, why else would she get up and walk all the way to his lab? “Is everything okay? Did you have to throw up again? You need to go to the doctor?” For the past weeks he was so used to her feeling sick that he automatically assumed something was wrong. He felt like a robot, just ready to do whatever Jo expected him to do, drive her to the hospital, drive to the grocery store to find something edible she might able to keep down, drive to the pharmacy to get medicine, drive…oh, whatever, he was tired of it and that’s why he liked spending the little time he had on his own in his lab, but if something was wrong with Jo he wouldn’t hesitate a second to do what she wanted him to do. That was the husband’s job, right? It was his job to take care of her, in good times and in bad times, and for the past weeks it only seemed to have bad times for her, and it just didn’t seem to stop. Probably not for another eight months… Oh God, eight months…That was so long.

“Nothing is wrong”, she said and smiled shyly.

That sentence sounded weird. He wasn’t used to that sentence anymore. He was used to ‘something is wrong with the baby’, or ‘I’m not feeling well’, or ‘Maybe I’ll end up like my mother did…’, but he was most certainly not used to ‘nothing is wrong.’
He looked suspiciously at her. “Ehm…okay. So why are you here?”

“Can’t a wife just stop by to say hello to her husband without any specific reasons?”, she sounded a little offended.

Yes, before she was in a problematic pregnancy, but now…
Liam sighed. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I was just…I expected that you came here because you’re not feeling well or you’re too lonely while I’m in my lab or-“

“Liam”, she interrupted him calmly. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being such a pain in the butt the past weeks.”

He shook his head. “No, that’s okay, you’re pregnant and-“

“No, it’s not okay. There are thousands of women in this world who are pregnant right now, but not all of them act like I did the past weeks. Yes, I was feeling sick most of the time, but I shouldn’t have been so whiney and clingy. I didn’t think of how that affected you.”

“Jo, it’s okay. I’m not lying, it’s been really tough on me but I’m not the one who has to carry a child and get all the side effects of that.”

“I know, but I could make it a little easier on you, and the past weeks I didn’t make it easy for you at all”, she said and grabbed his hand. “We are in this together, and we should work it out together, so we both should try our best, not you alone.” She held up the basket in her other hand. “Care for a little picnic?”

That was the first time in a while she seemed her old self again, the Jo he knew before she got pregnant, the Jo he missed so much.
“You sure you can keep it down?”

“I’ll try my best.”

He kissed her on the cheek. “You know, if we were seahorses I would carry the baby, that’s the job of the male seahorse.”

Jo chuckled. “Well, I’m glad you’re not like a male seahorse, otherwise I’d be very disturbed.”

“Oh, believe me, you wouldn’t be the only one.”

156One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 28th May 2012, 10:38

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo smiled.

“And now give me that basket, I don’t want you to carry such heavy things. Where do you wanna have the picnic?” Liam took the basket and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Can we have it here?” Jo asks shyly. “I like your lab, it reminds me so much of you.”

“No you shouldn’t be in here, I used some chemicals and they might be dangerous for you and the baby. Come one let’s go somewhere safe. Oh just wait here.” Liam put the basket down, pushed Jo out and closed the door. Jo looked confuse at the door, but she hadn’t time to worry that he didn’t her here. “Okay now we can go.”

“But it is raining.” Jo said sullenly.

“The music room, come one you like it there.” Liam kissed Jo and took her hand while they walked to the music room.

“Liam when being pregnant is a normal thing why do I feel so awful many times?” Jo asked shyly.

“Overload of hormones. No don’t sit on the floor, you don’t know what is down there.”

“Come on Liam it is the floor of Waterfall Downs and not the underground in London.”

“Well you won’t see the underground in London for the next eight months.”

Jo spread out the large blanket on the floor right at the window, and Liam put basket on the floor next to it. “Sit down, you look tired.” Liam looked worried at Jo. “Do you feel okay?”

“Yes I’m fine just a little bit tired.”

“Oh man chicken salad sandwiches, and cake, here have some orange juice. Are you sure can keep down all this?”

“Erm no that’s your food, I’ll have dry toast just in case.”

The two had a lovely lunch, they talked and it not just was about the pregnancy they were themselves again. Jo crawled closer to Liam, to kiss him. Kisses that went quickly to more, Liam pushed the left over lunch out of their way. And he enjoyed looking at his naked wife, not to mention how much he like to be with her like this…

“Oh my apologies I wanted to install the new lamps as Missis O’Doherty asked me to.” The construction worker was standing in the door frame and looked at the love making couple at the window.
Jo froze under Liam’s body. The worker clearly saw her and by the look on his face he liked what he saw.

157One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 29th May 2012, 19:07

MissAusten

MissAusten

The first thing that came to Liam’s mind was the fact that some other guy saw Jo naked. Some other dude saw his wife naked! And that guy didn’t even have the decency to turn away, he just stood there looking stupidly at them.
“Okay, no need to freak out”, Liam said to Jo, but in fact was also talking to himself. He quickly wrapped the blanket around Jo and put his boxershorts on while he was cursing the construction worker in Irish and used words that not even Jo understood.

“Do you still want me to install the lights?”, the guy asked.

Jesus Christ, that guy managed to lower the IQ of every citizen in Oxford just by opening his mouth!

“No”, Liam snarled. “This is not a good moment right now!” He saw how miserable Jo looked, wrapped in the little picnic blanket, which made him only more upset, and that moron still stood there, obviously not getting the message. Liam seriously lost his patience. “Dude, can you just piss off?”

The construction worker hesitated for a moment, then he finally turned around and walked away.

“Man, that guy is seriously brain-dead!” He knew it was ridiculous, but he felt insanely jealous that some other guy had seen his wife naked. “You okay?”

She nodded slightly, but she didn’t seem okay at all. “I think I’m sick…”, she mumbled, jumped up and ran out of the room to the closest bathroom, the blanket still wrapped tightly around her.
Liam sighed, pulled over his shirt and pants, grabbed Jo’s clothes and looked for her.

“I don’t know much about pregnancy and that stuff”, he said when he found her on the floor of the bathroom next door. “But I know that pregnant women have to eat properly and healthy, and you don’t do that at all. You eat barely anything, and you can’t keep down that little bit that you actually eat. I’m pretty sure that’s not good for the baby.”

“I can’t control the puking, Liam. I’m not a miracle worker!”

“I know, but you have to try harder. You’re letting the baby starve, as far as I’m concerned.” He realized that he sounded harsher than he intended to, but he just worried so much about both the baby and Jo that he started to get very insensitive, simply because he felt so helpless. “I don’t blame you for being sick, I know you’re not doing this on purpose, but you have to eat more than just dry toast every day. If you starve yourself I’ll personally force you to eat, I’m serious. You’re harming the baby with your refusal to eat, and I’m not letting you make the baby sick just because you don’t want of eat.”
Great, now she looks hurt. Good job, man!

“I don’t want to harm her…”, she said quietly.

“I know.” He handed Jo her clothes. “That was not very nice of me to say. I just know that not eating is not good for the baby, and you have hardly touched real food the past weeks.”

Jo took a deep breath. “I’m trying, Liam, I’m really trying.”

“I know you do, but to be honest, I think…” He paused for a moment. “I think you’re not strong enough. I really don’t want to offend you, it’s not your fault that you’re physically so weak, but it would be a lie if I say you’ll make it through the pregnancy easily, because you’re just not that strong, and it will only get worse.” He hated saying it like that, but she knew just as well as he did that he was right, and there was no point in denying it. “I try to help you as much as possible, but there’s a point where I’m no longer a great help, and that’s why I think we need to tell Lor.”

“No, it’s too early!”

“Jo, I’m serious. There’s nobody who can offer you more help when it comes to your situation. Well, yes, Ellen maybe, but you need a close family member you can trust, and Ellen already has more than enough on her plate, so we shouldn’t bother her. We really need to tell Lorelai soon…” Liam rubbed her shoulder. “Okay?”

Jo nodded defeated. “Okay.”

158One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 29th May 2012, 23:36

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

A few days later Lorelai and John came over for dinner. Lorelai was acting weird when Jo asked that she doesn’t bring the boys along but went along when Jo said she would like to have a grownup dinner.

“So how many more courses do we have to eat before you tell us what’s going on?” Lorelai asked curious.

Jo looked at Liam and took his hand under the table. “Erm, well you see… I am… we will… Liam and I are… having a baby.” Jo whispered but it was so quiet in the room that you could have heard a pin drop.

“Excuse me? You are what?” Lorelai stood up so quickly that her chair fell over loudly. “You are kidding, right? This is a joke. I mean how stupid can you two be? Having a child is not something you chose lightly. It changes everything and you are clearly not old enough to have one. Fuck you are barely old enough to even be married. You are still children and not able to take care of an infant. Jesus you got to be kidding me. John say something!” Lorelai was yelling at the two young adults on the other side of the table. John looked at his wife and then and the miserable looking Jo.

“Well it is not the right moment, clearly but often those this happen. I’m sure you will be great parents.” John said calmly.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you going to keep it?” Lor asked harshly.

Jo nodded.

“If that’s the case don’t count on my support, I’m not taking a part in the madness. Don’t you dare to speak to me again until you took care of the problem!” Lorelai slammed the door on her way out. John sat at the table and continues eating his salad.

“I think this is great and I’ll help you however I can. I mean don’t get me wrong I do think you are very young for children, but it is as it is. How are you holding up Jo? Wait the puking the past weeks that was morning sickness? Oh that is bad, try fennel tea it helps your stomach.” John offered helpful.

Jo nodded thankful, but rather shell shocked by Lorelai’s reaction. How could her big sister let her down like this. “Lorelai wants me to… does she really means that I should do an ab…” Jo couldn’t even finish the word, by now she was actually okay with being pregnant but Lorelai’s outburst set her back a long way on her accepting curve. Jo got up, shaking and crying she trembled and fell on her knees. “Why is she doing this?” Her crying turned into a hysterical sobbing. “I can’t kill the baby. I can’t!”

159One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 30th May 2012, 17:16

MissAusten

MissAusten

While John sat down next to Jo and rubbed her back comfortingly, Liam just stared at the table, not moving, not evening blinking. This all seemed kind of surreal to him. John and Jo were some blurred figures somewhere far away from him, and all he could hear was Lorelai’s voice. They could definitely not count for her support, that’s for sure. He was surprised that she reacted the way she did, but instead of freaking out about it he wondered how much of the things she said did in fact make sense. She was angry, sure, and when you’re angry you tend to say things you later regret, but a few things were true after all. Neither Jo nor Liam was able to take care of a baby- especially not without Lorelai’s support. Maybe Jo felt ready because she had been carrying that baby for the past weeks, but he didn’t feel ready at all. He was pretending that it would all work out somehow, but now that he was thinking about it again he knew it wouldn’t work that way. What did they expect? That they would grow up the second the baby came out? Lorelai was right, this really was madness, but on the other hand they couldn’t turn back time, and getting rid of the baby was an option, but not something Liam would choose. No, not after he saw the way Jo talked about it, and not after he slowly got used to the fact that there was a child on the way.
Liam still sat at the table when John finally walked to him and touched his shoulder. “You might want to talk to her?”
Liam got up like a robot, completely emotionless, and he looked down at Jo who still sat on the floor, her face hidden behind her knees.
“You don’t have to kill the baby”, he said, but there was absolutely no expression in his voice. “But you might consider other options…”
Both Jo and John looked at him at the same time. It was kind of hard to say it, but Lorelai had just opened his eyes and pointed out reality to him, the reality that there was no way they were ready for a baby yet. Yes, she had overreacted and abortion was definitely too much, but there was something else they could do.
“Haven’t you thought about giving the baby up for adoption?”
It was suddenly so quiet in the room that he was pretty sure he heard his own heartbeat. John seemed serious, but Jo…she looked as if he just slapped her in the face. “I mean…there’s something like an open adoption, right? So technically you would still be able to visit the baby now and then and it knows that you’re its mother, and the adoptive parents would keep you update and send you pictures and news about the development of the child.” Liam felt absolutely nothing while he said it. He felt like someone else was talking. Well, yes, his head was talking, his heart was quiet. He had no idea what was going on in his heart, it felt kind of empty. “If you think about it it’s not a bad option. On this way we would still be able to have contact with the child without having to raise it…” He wasn’t sure how Jo took his suggestion. She didn’t seem very happy, but maybe that was because she had just cried so much, so of course she didn’t look happy. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely agreeing with Lorelai. I mean, I really don’t want you to get an abortion, that just seems wrong. But…we should stop pretending that we can do this. Honestly Jo, you have to think about it. I know you’re already attached to this baby but maybe it’s not your time to be a mother yet. It might be better for the baby to grow up with parents who actually know what they do.” Liam paused for a moment. John still looked serious while Jo looked like he just broke up with her. Maybe it was better if he would just shut up. On the other hand…they couldn’t ignore the problem. They had to find a solution, and believing that everything would be okay somehow was not really a solution. She looked away from him and stared at the floor. Liam waited for her to show some sort of reaction, but she didn’t say anything.
“So…”, he mumbled after nothing came from her. “What do you think?”

160One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 30th May 2012, 17:50

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

“What do I think?” Jo got up, wiped her tears away and looked not sad anymore but angry. “About giving up our baby? Our baby not mine or yours or one I found on the street. It is your and my baby, half of your fucking Irish DNA and half of mine! You know what Liam. Go to hell! Go back to your Dick and turn into a grumpy old man like him. You don’t want this child fine I’ll raise it alone I don’t need you, or Lorelai or anyone.” Jo smashed the door so hard that she actually broke the lock.

“I guess that answers your question Liam. Listen I know this is scary, and no I won’t tell you that you have to take care of Jo. You are her husband not her caretaker and maybe now is the time for you to see this. You and Jo are a team and yes I think you are not the best team player, but I see you working with Jo and you and her you are a team. I also know you don’t believe in God or anything like this, but you and Jo you are made for each other. Please don’t throw this away because Jo is pregnant at a time you didn’t plan it. Don’t push her away. That’s all what I try to tell you.” Jo looked encouraging at Liam. “And I’m happy to be a babysitter. The boys will love a little one to play with.”

Meanwhile Jo was many flights of stairs above the man she loved so dearly but couldn’t stand right now. She was standing in the space that was supposed to be turned into their flat. The past few days Jo was up here and pictured the nursery and the other rooms. And suddenly she made a decision and since everyone around her kept making decisions for her she made one for Liam. She ran back down into the library and took a few papers she had made a long time ago. Jo signed all her money and everything over to Liam, took the papers and pinned them at the lab door, including a note from her. You can’t have one of us but not the other, and since it is the baby you want to send away I make it easy for you. You get the money I get the baby. Goodbye.

Jo took the Jaguar her father had given Liam a long time ago and drove the cottage they owned in Brighton. She didn’t even bother to pick up Teddy. All she needed was this baby below her heart, it would be the token of her undying love to the husband that didn’t love her back.

161One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 30th May 2012, 21:00

MissAusten

MissAusten

It didn’t take him long to find the note on the board of his lab. It seemed to be a habit that each time something bad happened, Jo left a note right there. Last time she left a note saying that she would do anything in order to keep him, even get rid of the baby. Now it said she didn’t want him anymore, she only wanted the baby.
“Can you make up your bloody mind?” He threw the note in the bin. Of course he didn’t have to think twice how Jo would make up her mind. From the moment he heard she was pregnant he knew that she would always choose the baby over him, and now she did.
Fine.
All he did was suggesting an option that might benefit all of them, the baby included. He didn’t tell her to kill the baby or to give it up completely. But of course, Miss overly emotional Jo took it way too personally again, and this time she obviously made up her mind completely, and it was just what he had expected. He no longer was her number one, no matter how many times she told him so, it was a lie. And she knew that. She chose her number one, and it was not him. She seemed to replace him very easily, it didn’t even take her a second to think about it.
Let’s see how fast she will find another man to complete her perfect little family. Oh wait, she doesn’t need one. All she needs is the baby, she made that clear…
The moment this thought was running through his head he already regretted it. He saw the papers Jo left him, the papers that said he would be the owner of all her money. This was insane. He didn’t want any of this crap. Did she really expect him to take all that money and live a happy life for the rest of his life? He wasn’t Victor, he didn’t give a damn about this. Liam dropped the papers on the table and walked out of his lab. The anger he had just felt towards her vanished and was replaced by something much worse. He felt sick, not to his stomach, but to his heart. For the fact that Jo chose the baby after all and didn’t want him, and would never want him as much as she wanted that baby. For losing Jo. For losing the baby. He wanted to talk to someone, but there was nobody who could possibly emphasise with him, nobody who knew what he just felt, nobody who knew how it was like to lose both his wife and his child at the same time. Although…
He suddenly stopped in front of the phone and stared at it for a moment, then he slowly picked it up and dialled the number.
“Dad…” His voice was weak, and he didn’t even realize that he just called Graham ‘dad’, that was something he never did. He talked about him as his ‘father’, but he never addressed him with dad. “Can you…can you come here, please?”
It usually took around two hours to get from London to Oxford, but Graham arrived after an hour and a half. He had actually had two guests, both rather important music directors, but the moment he hung up the phone he excused himself and left the flat immediately. When he arrived in Waterfall Downs he expected something horrible, like finding Jo hurt. From the way Liam sounded he was sure someone had an accident, most likely Jo. But instead he found his son sitting on the steps next to the entrance, emotionless, almost lifeless.

“Liam?” Graham touched his shoulder. “Liam, what is it? Is Jo all right?”

Liam didn’t look at him, he just stared into nothingness. “She’s gone.”

“Gone where?”

“Gone away. From me, and all of this…and she just left. Chose the baby…and then gone…and left like this…and all…went away with the baby…and the baby is…it is…she chose the baby, I knew she would. She will always choose the baby…”

“Hold on”, Graham interrupted him. “What baby?”

Liam was quiet for a moment, he didn’t need to say anything, Graham realized what was happening. “Liam, is Jo pregnant?”
He nodded quietly, still not looking at his father. “She chose the baby over me.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. I know her, and I know how much she cares for you, so why would she run away in her situation right now? Unless…” Graham paused for a moment. “Liam, what did you say to her? Did you make her choose?”

“I just told her that I think we’re not ready, and that it might be better if we give it up for adoption. I care for that baby, I really do, but I don’t want to pretend that we can do this, because we can’t. I was just honest to her, and she completely freaked and left, and I have no idea where she went, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want me to follow her because she has made her choice, and that choice doesn’t include me.” He took a deep breath. “When she first told me a few weeks ago I was freaking out. I mean…I never thought I would say this, but it was the first time I understood what you did. Not that it’s okay what you did, but I finally understood what you must have felt like. You and mum were our age…no guy is ready to be a father at that age…and I just…I was really tempted to just walk away, but I didn’t, I came back, and I promised Jo that I would be there for her and try harder…but it doesn’t work that way. Just because you try harder doesn’t mean that you suddenly grow and are ready for this…this…thing.”
It suddenly got so quiet that they could hear a pin drop.

“Liam, look at me, please.”

He hesitated for a moment, then he slowly turned to his father.

“All I see in your eyes right now is fear. You’re scared.”

“I’m not-“

“Yes, you are. You’re scared of the responsibilities you have to face, of not being ready yet, of losing Jo because there’s suddenly another person who wants her love just as much as you do. But this fear is what will take away the one who is most important to you. It’s just plain fear, Liam, and you got blinded by it.”

“It’s just…it…I can’t raise a baby and Jo knows she can’t either, but she ignores it because she believes that things always turn out good somehow…and it’s just naïve and…and…it’s not going to work and-“

“You know what?”, Graham interrupted him, and he no longer sounded as calm and soft-spoken as usual, he sounded like a dad, a real one, and he actually got his Irish accent back. “If your mother would have said the same thing you just did, that she couldn’t do it and would never be able to raise a child, then, Liam, I really start to wonder how you would have turned out. In what sort of man you would have grown into if your mother would have given up on you just like you gave up on your child. I’m aware I’m the last person who has the right to say that to you, but perhaps, or maybe especially because I was the one who left you and your mother, I have to say this, it’s my duty, to your wife, to your child, and to Cathy…if you give up on them now, you’ll lose everything. Your mum never gave up on you, she was strong for both of you, and you owe it to her, Liam, you owe it to her not to give up on her grandchild.”

Liam bit his lip. He really got him right where it hurt him the most. “But mum…she was different. She was stronger-“

“She wasn’t stronger, she only became that strong because she had to. She had no choice because I was obviously not strong enough to stand up to my responsibility, so she became that strong on her own, because she didn’t give up on you, she didn’t want to give up on you.”

“But Jo made clear that she wants the baby, not me. She made her choice.”

She made her choice? I think you didn’t give her any choice than to go away.”

“She could have stayed with me…”

“And what then? Give up the baby for adoption? I think you underestimate your wife a lot”, Graham said. “She’s stronger than you think. Instead of doing what you want her to do, she goes away, because she doesn’t want to give up on her baby, on your baby. And if you really leave her, she will become even stronger, just as Cathy became after I left her, and she will raise the most remarkable and wonderful child, and you’ll miss it, all of it. And maybe that child will have your eyes, and everytime she sees it she will be reminded of you, and she will think of how much you missed and that it all could have worked out if you hadn’t given up on that child, and on her. Jo will be fine one day…she will never be completely happy, but she will be fine, because she will learn to be strong, for the child’s sake. But you…you will never be fine, because you gave up and you will never experience all those wonderful things that Jo will experience with that child.” Graham looked at his son who was so different than him, and yet in some aspects astonishingly similar. “I know I’m not Cathy, and I will never be able to replace her, but I know that she would expect me to stop you from doing the greatest mistake of your life. Don’t you dare give up on that child, Liam Seamus O’Doherty, and don’t you dare give up on Jo.”

Liam closed his eyes for a moment. “I don’t know where she is…”

“Then we’ll find out.”

162One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 30th May 2012, 21:38

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo reached Family Cottage a little over three hours later. It was an irony, that the cottage’s name was Family Cottage. She had spent two days with her parents here, she was very little and she wasn’t sure how much was real and how much just her imagination, but those two days where the only days her Mother and Father acted like a mom and dad.

“Here we are baby, that’s our new home. Sorry for all the paintings and drawings of your daddy, but before the wedding especially while your daddy was gone for some month I made most of them. Because I love him, even though he is not here with us I love him. I hope you look like your daddy that why I could tell you stories about him. Well the few I know.”

Jo went to the couch -she had on her way stopped and bought some food- she pulled off the white cover sheet and sat down, surrounded by uncountable paintings, drawings and rough sketches of Liam. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Dreams of her being alone with the baby haunting her. But the weirdest thing was that the baby and later the child adored its daddy. Jo couldn’t see if it was a boy or girl but it had Liam’s eyes. And it was fluent in Irish, Jo made sure to find someone Irish….


Meanwhile in Waterfall Downs
Graham and Liam tried everything to find where Jo could have gone, but so far they had no luck. It was Graham who looked at the signed papers of everything when he noticed something.

“Liam what happened to the cottage in Brighton?”

“There is a cottage in Brighton? I guess it is somewhere on the list of the stuff that is no mine.”

“No it is not. Liam this cottage is not just any cottage it is the only place Jo remembers her parents and her being a family. If she has to pick any house to raise your child it will be in Family Cottage.”

Graham was already half out of the door on his way to the car when he turned around. “Liam are you coming, your wife is waiting.”

The drive to Brighton was long, but just outside the cottage was the O’Doherty Jaguar. “I’m staying here and you fix this mess, I’m not letting you make me miss out on seeing my grandchild grow up.” Graham said half joking and half serious.

Jo was asleep in the dark cottage, her dinner left-overs were on the floor and the door to the cottage was actually unlocked.

“Liam please… just look at her.” The young soon to be mother mumbled in her sleep.

163One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 31st May 2012, 19:28

MissAusten

MissAusten

When Liam went into the cottage and saw Jo lying on the couch, he hesitated a moment. He wanted to confront her like an adult, but right now he was really tempted to shake her and yell at her and tell her she’s not supposed to run away- and then he remembered that he had done exactly the same to her so many times before. He never really left her, but he often just walked away without letting her know what was going on, and now it was the first time he realized how much that sucked.
He walked to the couch where Jo was lying, her eyes closed. She whispered something, and when he got closer he heard what she said.
“Liam please…just look at her.” She talked in her sleep, which she often did when she was worried or frightened.
He watched her for a moment, he didn’t see much of her because it was dark inside the cottage, but the light of the moon fell through the window, right on the couch. He sat down next to her feet, wondering how much she really wanted him. Yes, it was obvious that she wanted the baby more, but she also wanted his help and support, so even though she would never want him as much as she used to because now she got the baby, he would still be there for her, because he still loved her, no matter if she stopped loving him. If she would ever decide that she didn’t want his help, he would go and give her the chance to maybe find someone she could love as much as the baby, but until then he had to be there for her, knowing that he no longer meant as much to her as he once did. Once…only a couple of weeks ago…How quickly she had grown to love the baby, and how quickly she had stopped to care for him as much as she used to. Yes, it didn’t take her long, but he would be okay somehow, as long as it made her happy. If the baby would be the only happiness in her life from now on, he would accept it and be happy for her, and watch her falling in love with this child while her feelings towards him vanished. Yes, he would accept it, and one day he would be okay.
Liam slowly reached out his hand and touched hers. “I’m okay with it, Jo”, he said quietly.

She opened her eyes and sat up immediately. “How did you…you found me? How did you find…”

“Graham helped me, he drove me here.” Liam turned on the little lamb next to the couch, he barely even looked at her. “I won’t lie, I hate, really hate that you ran away like this and thought you could just leave all your money to me as if that is all that matters to me. I’m not Victor, Jo, you know I’m not anything like him, and I’m really offended that you thought I would be okay with this arrangement.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, I just…you wanted to give away the baby and…”

“I didn’t want to give it away, it was just a suggestion, I didn’t say it was a final decision.” He looked at her briefly, but knowing that she no longer loved him hurt him too much and he didn’t want her to know, so he looked away again. “Anyway, I didn’t come here to argue with you…I came here to let you know that I’m okay with it, all of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m okay with the baby, and that we’re going to be parents soon, and that you…” He paused for a moment. “I’m accepting that you chose the baby over me, that’s okay. That’s…what mothers do, I can’t change that fact. So, I’ll be there and take care of you, both of you, and I’m okay to make room now for someone else who will make your life so much better. I know my time is over. I had over three years with you, three great years, and I had wished we had a couple more, I really didn’t expect it to be over so soon, but…well, there we go. You have this new, wonderful little person you can love, and I’ll be there whenever you need me. I mean, you might as well hire a maid, because I’ll pretty much have that status in your life from now on, but I’m probably better in protecting you two than some random maid, so you should hold on to me for safety reasons. Well…not that I’m the strongest person, but I’ll try my best.” Liam stared at his hands. “And if you don’t want me in the bedroom anymore because you want the baby there instead of me, then I’ll move into another room, that’s fine. I’m not going away anymore, and I don’t want you to go away, so I’ll just be there for you and accept that it will never be the same again and that you chose the baby, it’s…it’s okay, I get it. But I’ll be there if you want me to be, I have my duties and responsibilities to you and the baby and I will do what is expected from me.” He got up, still not looking at her. “Just do me the favour and come home.” He turned away from her, ready to leave the cottage. She probably needed some time to think about it, so he would give her as much time as she needed, and he hoped that she would come back if she felt like it.

164One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 31st May 2012, 23:00

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo starred at Liam’s back for several minutes, well at least it felt like minutes. “Liam listen to me.”

“I am listening and I know what you want to say and it is okay.”

“Look at me.”

“Jo it is late and we have a long drive…”

“God dammit it look at me!” Jo shouted. She knew she shouldn’t be angry with Liam but he was hurting her so much to see him acting like this. Liam turned around but still looked at the floor in front of her. “Liam please look at me.” Jo’s voice was gentler now, she knew this would be very hard for him to understand even though for pretty much everyone else it was simple, but to explain Liam feelings was like explaining to a toddler Einstein’s theory of general relativity.
Jo saw how much strength it cost him to look his wife in the eyes, and it broke her heart to the see pain in his.

“I want you to really listen to me, not just what you think I am saying but really listen and if you have to take notes of what I am about to say. Got it?” Jo looked expecting at Liam, it was hard to see him because the small lamp next to the couch he had turned on barely lightened the room. Liam nodded. “I am listening.”

“Good!” Jo took a deep breath. “I love you Liam and I do want to come home with you but first you need to understand and see something, well more a metaphorical seeing. I didn’t choose the baby over you…”

“But-“

“Let me finish! I didn’t choose the baby over you! But I chose to choose. All my live my mother decided what to do. I wasn’t allowed to decide what subjects I want to learn, I wasn’t asked if I want to skip classes, I wasn’t even allowed to pick the University I go to. Mother decided what I had to wear, whom to talk to and everything else. Until I met you, she still tried to make the decision regarding my life but I got stronger while you were there. You showed me without doing anything -except loving me for who I am, for the decision I made- what living means. And tonight you took this away. I always saw us as a team, an equal team and we decide together how to live our life together. But tonight you made the decision for us. You didn’t give me an option and that’s what I left. Not you but you deciding for me. And on the way down here I realized I never want to cut you out of my life, and that I could never stop loving you! Ever! I would never stop telling our child about you. I would set every meal a plate for you at the table, we would wait for you hope that this is the day you come to get us, to get me. Don’t get me wrong I do love this baby, but I love it because it is ours. And I love it differently, I love it to take care of it, and be a mommy for it but you I want to be still together when we are old, gray haired and wrinkly and I do hope by then our child will moved out and leaves us alone and have old people sex. And I am just as scared as you are, of being pregnant, the labour, being a mom I mean I will get fat and ugly and you won’t want to touch me anymore and you see all those pretty other girls and I will feel even uglier, but I will be okay with that because you vowed to me to love me. And for the part of being a mom, I know you make sure I’m okay because you had the perfect mom so you know what I have to do to be okay. I love you Liam so endlessly much!”

Liam looked at his wife. “You will be a great mom, and love the baby even more.”

Jo moaned in frustration and turned around. “Stay there!” Jo let him stand in the middle of the room and walked around turning on one small lamp after the other, revealing one picture of him after another. She after she had turned on all lights she stood shy next to a life size painting of Liam without any clothes on.

“I send them all here, because… I can’t get you out of my head all my hand draw and paint is you. By now it must be between hundred and two hundred in this house some are in the kitchen. I send them here because I’m worried if you would have seen them all you would think I am obsessed. Well maybe I am, but I love you so much that I have the need to catch every sight of you in a painting. I can’t stop. These ones here I made since we are back from our honeymoon and these since I know that I’m pregnant. I look at a piece of paper and I see this. It’s an equation, you plus me equals love, while love equals the baby. Don’t you see Liam that this baby is not between us, it is the result of our love. I know you don’t believe I God or anything like this, but I was taking the pill and I am the one woman that gets pregnant out of hundred. I am the one, because our love is so strong that it didn’t want to wait and go with our plan. Liam I love you so much that if anything ever happens to you, I… I don’t want to spend a second without you with me on this earth. I do love you more than the baby, I love her too but so differently. It is like you love Lorelai but differently than you love me. Don’t push me away because you are scared your baby takes me away from you. Don’t make me choose Liam! I’m begging you don’t make me choose! Because in the end I will choose you, and one day you look back and see you missed to see your child grow up. One day you will see that someone else taught your child how to ride a bike, how to read, the stars and you missed it. And not just this but you will realize how much you hurt me when you decide what I have to do, because you were the one telling me how much you love me for my mind. So please Liam, don’t push me away and let me love you!” Jo looked shy and earnest at him, trying not to be embarrassed that Liam saw all those painting she made.

165One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 2nd June 2012, 23:06

MissAusten

MissAusten

Liam needed a moment to get over the fact that she had a cottage full of pictures of him. That was kind of creepy, but it showed him that she couldn’t be indifferent about him otherwise she wouldn’t have painted all of this. If he didn’t care about someone he wouldn’t draw so many paintings of that person, right? He still had a hard time believing that she really meant everything she said, especially that she loved him more than the baby, but at least she told him why exactly she left, and it had nothing to do because she suddenly stopped loving him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that her love towards him would grow weaker with every day the baby grew bigger, even if she loved him so much right now, it would change, it always did when a baby was on the way. But at least she didn’t completely stop loving him…that was more than he could ask for right now.
“I’m not pushing you away”, he said finally. “You were the one who ran away, remember?” Something inside wanted to touch her so badly, just feel her in his arms, but he still didn’t dare to get too close to her, there was something that held him back. Jo looked sad, like she just didn’t know what to do anymore.
“You really want to come home with me?”, he asked, his eyes wandering to the countless pictures.

“Yes.”

“You sound like you feel forced to.”

“No!” Jo bit her lip. “It’s just…I feel like you don’t believe me, and that really hurts me, do you know that?”

“I believe you. I believe that you want to grow old with me, and I’m really glad to see that you…well, that you didn’t stop caring about me. And I like the pictures, I really had no idea you were so…ehm…that you spent so much time drawing all of this.”

Jo stared at the floor. “But?”

The baby isn’t born yet and you already love it so much…There’s no way you can love two people at the same time, not like this. And I personally witnessed how much a mother can love her child, and you might not believe it yet because you haven’t been loved by your mother like I had, but you’ll see…when it’s time you’ll forget everything around you, and in the end it will always be you and the baby. But thanks for caring about me, that means a lot to me. And thanks for the past three years where it was only us, and no baby you grew to love more.
Liam didn’t say what was running through his head. It was late, he was tired, and he just wanted Jo to come home with him, but right now she looked so hurt that he was afraid she changed her mind and would stay here, maybe not forever, but at least for a bit longer until things calmed down.
He took a deep breath and thought of what he could say next to her, something that would make her want to go home with him, but he just didn’t know what he could say in order to let her know how badly he wanted her in his arms, how badly he missed her although she was standing right in front of him. Then he noticed the piano in the corner of the room, and he walked over there and sat down on the piano stool. He knew he wasn’t the best piano player, and he hoped his father wouldn’t hear him outside because that would be embarrassing, but since the Williams’ didn’t have a guitar in the cottage it had to be the piano. Liam managed to smile a little when Jo turned around and looked at him, then he started playing the first notes and sang rather flat and still way to Irish the song that was not only dedicated to Jo, but to this whole messed up situation. Since he didn’t really find the right words to let her know that they would get through it somehow- get through it together, not alone-, he expressed it on that way.

166One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 3rd June 2012, 12:14

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo looked at him, this was all so messed up. This time should be a happy time and not them fighting constantly. Jo sighed when she sat down next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“There is no other place on the world I rather wanna be as with you at home.” Jo whispered while she started to play gently and careful along with Liam on the piano.

“But it is late, we should stay here sleep and go home first thing in the morning.”

Liam nodded.

“There are two bedrooms upstairs I can go and get Graham. Okay?”

“Okay.”

They were both tired and they both didn’t want to fight but they weren’t sure how to stop. Jo kissed Liam on the cheek. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”

Jo hurried outside to Graham. “Hey, Graham.”

The older man got out of the car and hugged Jo. “Everything will turn out okay.”

Jo shook her head. “He doesn’t believe me. I keep telling him that I not love him less, it is more the opposite I love him more and more every day.”

“I know.”

“We stay here for the night, it is two in the morning and we all are tired.”

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s get you inside, I want you to take care of yourself and my grandchild.” Graham smiled and led her back into the house, where Jo showed him to the smaller bedroom in the cottage. “I have everything I need, go to Liam. He is pretty shaken up, even though he won’t admit it.”

Jo nodded and went downstairs, Liam was still in the small living room. Looking at the pictures she made. Jo looked at him for a couple of minutes. “Do you love me?”

Liam turned around and looked at Jo. “Yes of course.”

“Then why can’t you believe me that I love you more than anything. You are the man I want to spend the rest of life with and no baby changes this. I know you were your moms life, and I’m glad you were but maybe that was because Graham wasn’t in there.” Jo sighed. “It’s late please let’s go to bed.” Silent tears were running down her cheeks, Jo started to feel the more she fought for Liam the more he didn’t believe her. “Why can’t you believe me?” It’s wasn’t more than a whisper and Jo wasn’t even sure if Liam could hear her.

167One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 3rd June 2012, 15:20

MissAusten

MissAusten

Liam was mad at himself for making Jo cry again, he seemed to do that all the time and just couldn’t stop it. Yes, she might be generally very emotional, but he was sure that she never cried as much as she did since he came into her life. Jo wanted to know why he couldn’t believe her. Truth was, he knew that Jo wouldn’t lie, and he knew how she looked when she was completely honest with him, and when she said that she loved him more than anything he did believe her. But she hadn’t met the baby yet…and that was Liam’s concern. Yes, at the moment she loved him more than anything, even if he really didn’t understand why, but when she said it he knew she didn’t lie. But he should ask her that question again when she would hold the baby in her arms, when she woke up next to the baby, when the baby would smile for the first time…then he should ask her again if she still loved him more than anything, and he had no doubt that she would still say yes, but it was a yes that would come with hesitation. A yes that was no longer completely honest. So the only thing he could do now was to appreciate the next months and the fact that right now at least she loved him more than anything, and then it would be time for him to make room for the baby.

“I believe you”, Liam said, which was true, he really did, he just knew that her feelings would change sooner or later. But for the moment he knew she loved him, and that was more he could hope for, although it was killing him to know that it would change. Liam took a deep breath and looked at his watch. “Let’s go to bed, okay? It’s not getting better if we keep standing around.”

Jo didn’t look at him, she just nodded quietly. When they were in the bedroom they didn’t even get changed. Liam didn’t bring a pyjama anyway, and even if he had he was too tired to get changed. Both just lay on the bed, each one on their side, not completely far away, but not close either. And despite being tired and exhausted from that whole day, neither one of them could fall asleep, not when they knew at the same time that things were not okay. Jo still thought he didn’t believe her while Liam thought she wasn’t aware that her feelings would change soon.
It was awfully quiet in the room, and they lay next to each other like strangers. Liam felt like there was this huge wall between them, and although she was right next to him it felt like she was on the other side of the world. He missed her so much, the last time he missed her like that was during the three months he had spent away from her, but now she was right next to him, which was even more frustrating. Having her so close and missing her was in fact worse than being away from her.
Liam closed his eyes for a moment, then he stretched out his arm until he reached Jo’s cold hand. It didn’t matter that it was cold, it suddenly felt so much better just reaching through that wall and touching her. He started humming a melody, very quietly.
“When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go- downtown…” It didn’t really sound like he was singing, more like whispering, but Jo heard the words and more tears were running down her face, but a tiny, weak smile crossed her lips and she whispered the second verse.
“When you’ve got worries, all the noise and the hurry seems to help, I know- downtown…”
The two sang the song together quietly until the end of the first chorus, then they remained silent for a short moment until Jo slowly turned her head towards him.
“You told me I should sing that song whenever I’m scared.”

“I remember…” He turned his head towards her as well, and even though he couldn’t completely see her since it was quite dark he knew that he cheeks were wet from tears. “That’s why I started it. Because earlier this day I was really scared…”

Jo knew that Liam didn’t admit things like that, not if it was really serious, so this time it had to be. “What were you scared of?”

He didn’t respond immediately. “Losing you”, he mumbled. “When I saw the note you left me I thought I lost you.” He squeezed her hand tighter as if he was scared that she would slip away from him any second.

168One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 3rd June 2012, 16:49

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo didn’t hesitate a second she grabbed Liam’s hand with both her hands and placed a kiss on his lips. “You will never lose me!”

Jo moved as close as possible to Liam, who folded his arm tight around her. “You never lose me!”

Liam felt Jo calm down, very slowly Jo’s chest rose steady but calmly. Jo loved those moments the most. When her husband and love of her life was holding her closely and she could breathe in his smell. It made her know that everything would be… no everything was okay.
“I was scared too, I’m lost you tonight. I think your mom was amazing, how she loved you so much and not started to hate you. I mean for being the reason for Graham leaving her. I don’t know if I could have done that.”

“Yes, you could.” Liam whispered.

“Well maybe, but each time I would have looked at our child I would have missed you so much. I would never have left forever. I already planned on coming back home tomorrow morning begging you to take me back.”

“Always!”

Jo looked up and kissed him passionately. Her hand were tracing up his body under his shirt while her other hand unbuckled his belt. Liam chuckled. “Really now?”

“Hell yes, I already prepared myself never having this again, except all by myself and I would rather do it with you.”

“You would have found someone new.” Liam whispered, this was hard for him picturing his wife with another man.

“No I wouldn’t, because you were my first, my last and my everything. You were the one I gave my precious flower to and I’m not planning on letting anyone else ever in the garden except you.” Jo giggled, she didn’t need to see him to know that he was rolling his eyes. He hated the whole flower crap.

“You know I read in a book that my boobs will grow, soon I think.” Jo whispered, she wasn’t too sure if she actually wanted her boobs to grow but she knew that Liam would like it.

Liam kissed his wife. “I read that too.” Liam mumbled, he knew that Jo took a long time to get used to her present body, he knew that it scared Jo that she would change. Jo smiled, Liam was pulling her shirt over her head. He loved the taste of his wife, and Jo loved to feel his touch on her skin.

Jo curled up on Liam’s chest, they were both sweaty and out of breath. Jo enjoyed listening to his heartbeat. Not long and they could hear the heartbeat of the baby. Jo wasn’t sure but thought she noticed the little baby belly grow.

“I missed this. I missed you. So much Liam! Can we just try to concentrate on the now and here and not what might happen in the future?” Jo whispered drawing with her finger on Liam’s stomach. He didn’t have a six pack but she could feel his muscles.

169One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 3rd June 2012, 20:17

MissAusten

MissAusten

Liam looked at her for a long moment. Man, this whole day had been so messed up, and now he felt like it never happened. Being so close with Jo after a fight felt so incredibly good, almost better than being close with her on any other normal day.
“That sounds like a damn good plan to me”, he said while he watched her fingers wandering over his chest. “Let’s screw the future for a while.”
Liam woke up early although he hadn’t slept much since they went to bed only a couple of hours ago. Before he went downstairs, he scribbled something on a piece of paper and left it on the pillow, right next to Jo. When he went downstairs he was surprised to see Graham already fully dressed, reading the newspaper.
“You’re already up?”, Liam asked.

“Oh, I’m an early riser. Always have been.”

“So am I.” A smile crossed his lips. “Guess I finally know where I got that from. I most certainly didn’t get it from mum, she was not a morning person.”

Graham looked at him for a moment. “Yes, I remember…” It was nice to see that his son had at least some similarities with him, he was definitely Cathy’s boy through and through, which he was glad about, because everything about Liam reminded him of her, except the eyes.
“So, you and Jo have…ehm…reconciled?”

Liam suddenly realized that there might have been a chance that Graham heard them, which would be totally awkward, but the older man didn’t do anything that made him uncomfortable, he kept a rather straight face, so even if he heard them he didn’t show it.
“Yes, we-“ He couldn’t finish the sentence because he felt Jo’s arms from behind. Although it was early she smiled widely at him, her eyes shining.
“Thank you”, she said. She didn’t need to say more, from the looks of it he knew she found his note.

The next day Liam stopped by at Alfie’s to tell him about the pregnancy. He already knew what Alfie’s raction would be, but Liam wanted to get this whole thing out on the open. They still hadn’t told Elizabeth, but they would soon.

Alfie looked at him as if he just cracked a very weird joke. “You’re messing with me, right?”

“No, she really is pregnant.”

“As in ‘getting-fat-and-moody-and-having-to-pee-every-five-minutes’-pregnant?”

“Ehm…yeah. That kind of pregnant.” Liam played with the sleeve of his shirt.

Alfie let out a cold laugh. “So, that’s it!”

“That’s what?”

“The end of your life.”

“I’m not dying.”

“No, but that’s it with your freedom. I mean, you basically lost your freedom the moment you got married, but now…” He shook his head. “Marriage is a trap already, but a baby is the ultimate trap. You can always get out of a marriage, but you can never get out of…well, that baby issue.”

“Well, I’m actually kind of looking forward to the baby. At first it freaked me out, but it’s better now.”
What the hell did I just say?! ‘Looking forward to it?’ What’s wrong with me?!

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if people decide to have kids, I guess that’s a normal process in the life of a married couple, but getting children so young! You’ll never have any freedom again, never. And I don’t get why you got married so early in the first place, I mean, you’re so young and could have lived a bit more, you know, meet more girls instead of being with one and the same girl for the rest of your life. You will never have sex with another woman, always with one and the same. Well, technically you could have sex with another woman, but I’m pretty sure you won’t because you’re way too attached to that little wife of yours…”

“Well…I happen to love Jo, so I don’t want to-“

“You’re seriously trying to tell me that you’re happy with the fact that you will never have sex with anyone but that one person? Man, join the monastery! Sorry, Liam, but I find that hard to believe…”

Liam was quiet for a moment. He was actually confused. What if Alfie was right? Men in general were not meant to be with one and the same woman for the rest of their lives, that’s why they often tended to cheat on their wives. Right now he couldn’t imagine ever cheating on Jo, but he didn’t know if he was still feeling the same in a couple of years…And Alfie was right, Liam had met Jo really early and never got the chance to see what else was out there, except the short time he had with Lorelai, but other than that he didn’t have the chance to be with other girls because he then met Jo and that was it. Oh God, what if he would be unfaithful to her in the future because they had met too early, and married to early, and became parents too early?

Alfie seemed to get what was going on in Liam’s head right now. “Don’t get me wrong, I know that she means a lot to you, but I’m just saying that it’s unhealthy for a boy your age to be trapped so early in his life. And I hope you’re aware that as soon as the baby is there, you wife will put all her time and energy into the kid.”

Liam nodded. “Yeah, I’m aware of that…”

“And she’s young too, yes, but women are different. They like to settle down early and be mothers early and that sort of stuff, but guys…no, there’s just no way they are made to give up their freedom so early in their lives, that’s just human nature, I’m afraid.” He shrugged his shoulders. “But there’s nothing you can change anymore, you’re in this now.”

“Yes, I know that, and I’m not backing out.”

Alfie scrutinized him for a moment. “Yeah, that’s what makes you different than the rest of us. You’re too decent for this society. Like Ricky. That knucklehead can’t even hurt a fly…You and him…you guys are too fucking good for the likes of us.”

Liam wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but this was the first time that Alfie actually seemed kind of…caring. And honest, without any sarcastic undertone. The older boy noticed the way he looked at him and quickly cleared his throat.
“Anyway, just for the sake of your happiness you should see a hooker once in a while if you really intend to stay with one and the same woman for the rest of your life. Otherwise it’s going to be very, very hard for you, there’s no question about it…”

“That’s cheating. I don’t want to cheat on my wife.”

“As long as you don’t have feelings for the hooker I wouldn’t call it cheating.”

Liam was quiet for a moment, but then he shook his head. “No, it would still be cheating, even if it’s only physical, it’s…I can’t do this to Jo.”

“It’s going to be very hard, man…”

“I know.”

“Well…” Alfie crossed his arms. “Like I said, you’re one of the good ones. Is it because of the Catholic thing or what?”

Liam chuckled. “No, it has absolutely nothing to do with that!”

“Okay, I was just wondering…” Alfie was quiet for a moment. “Anyway, even if I think you’re insane for having children yet, I’ll still say my congrats. To your wife as well, even though she probably won’t let me near that kid because I could be a bad influence.”

Liam grinned. “Yeah, you might be right.”

“So, how did your lovely monster-in-law take it?”

“Elizabeth?”

“Yeah.”

“Eh…” Liam hesitated for a moment. “Guess I’ll find that out tomorrow, that’s when we will tell her.”

170One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 3rd June 2012, 21:37

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo was waiting just outside the house. Liam was talking with Alfie and she didn’t want to be there. She was glad that Liam had a friend but Alfie was still not the type of man she liked to be around. Liam didn’t spend long with Alfie.

“Hey, what are you writing?” He said and kissed her, but Jo quickly closed the notebook.

“Just some thoughts. Did you tell him?”

“Yup.”

“What did he say?”

“That I’m an idiot.”

Jo looked worried at Liam, she always was scared that Alfie put the wrong ideas in his head. “We should go my appointment is in a few minutes.” The two soon to be parents walked upstairs and met for the second time Jo’s gynaecologist. Jo got into the pink gown. She looked shy at Liam when she stepped out of the changing room. Liam smiled and wrapped her into his arm, to hold her close and to make sure no one was able to see through the gab of the gown in the back. He helped his wife on the chair, and while they waited for the doctor Liam held Jo’s hand. He knew she didn’t like this here.

“So how is the morning sickness?” The doctor asked as soon he walked through the door.

“Getting better.” Jo mumbled.

“Good. Pop up your legs so that I can examine you.” He said while he put on sterile gloves. Jo looked at Liam even though they both knew through the examination the doctor could feel if Jo’s pregnancy went normal, but that didn’t change the fact that she didn’t like the examination. Liam kissed Jo gently as Jo popped up her legs on the foot rest, which exposed her. Jo closed the eyes and held Liam’s hand tightly during the examination.

“Okay that looks all in order. You agreed to the new ultra sound examination right?”

Jo was putting on her knickers. “Yes we are.” Said Liam, watching the doctor who was clearly checking out his wife.

A few minutes later, Jo had some gel on her stomach and the doctor moved a weird looking think over her stomach. On a screen where Jo’s inner organs visible, well that’s what the doctor had told them on their last appointment. In Jo’s eyes –and she had the eyes of an artist- all she saw where white marks on a black screen.

“There it is you baby.” The doctor pointed at the screen at a white bit in a black looking like a peanut structure. He turned the switched and there it was. “That your baby’s heartbeat.”

171One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 4th June 2012, 16:41

MissAusten

MissAusten

That moment Liam heard nothing but the heartbeat. Everything around him vanished completely. He no longer watched the doctor to make sure that guy wouldn’t check out his wife, he no longer felt Jo’s hand squeezing his, he didn’t even really heard what she mumbled. All he heard was a heartbeat, one that came from Jo, but it wasn’t hers, it belonged to something he called ‘thing’. Suddenly that something was no longer a thing, but a someone. It was no longer something growing in Jo’s stomach, but someone, a human being, with fingers, and feet, and a face…and a heartbeat. Liam didn’t look at Jo, he couldn’t. He was in the process of realizing that he could no longer refer to the baby as ‘thing’, and then he felt it, he felt how he slowly started to care about that little someone whose heartbeat they just heard. He didn’t want to care for it, he so didn’t want to feel anything for this little human, but he did. And what he felt was not negative, not at all. And the fact that he didn’t feel anything negative about that little person with the heartbeat scared him.
Jo said something to him, but he didn’t hear her, he just stared into another direction, wondering if the room had gotten smaller in the past three minutes, it felt like it was shrinking.
He liked it. He liked hearing the sound of that heartbeat. Why couldn’t he stop liking it? Why was he looking forward to meet this little ‘someone’ in a couple of months?
That moment he felt Jo’s hand on his cheek, and he finally turned to her and heard what she said. She smiled at him, it was one of those happy smiles which made her eyes light up immediately. “Are you okay?”, she asked softly, her hand still resting on his cheek.

He needed a moment to react, then he nodded quietly. He wasn’t sure if he was okay. He had it all planned out; he would not get attached to the baby, and when the baby came he would make sure it was safe and grew up in a nice environment, and would get everything it needed, and be Jo’s little darling, and he would be there for both of them without having any close relationship to the child, almost like some sort of bodyguard. He wanted the child to be safe, and he wanted Jo to be happy, so yes, he wanted the child to come and make its mother happy, but all he ever planned to be was nothing more than the biological father. He didn’t want to be the child’s dad, because that would mean he would be attached to the little one, and it would be attached to him, and then something would happen to the child sooner or later. He had it all planned out…and now he was doing the opposite. He felt something for that baby, something positive, and something inside of him wanted to be close to it.
“It has a heartbeat…”, Liam mumbled after he was quiet for so long.

“Well, if it wouldn’t have a heartbeat, it would be dead”, the doctor said dryly, and Liam shot him such a furious glance that the older man decided to shut up.
What was that? Did he…yes, he did, he felt protective. About an unborn child. About someone he hadn’t even met yet. He cared about it.

On their way back to Waterfall Downs Liam was awfully quiet, which made Jo nervous. She had no idea that he was so quiet because he realized that he cared about the baby more than he wanted to. She first was afraid to say something because she expected the worst coming from him, but then she couldn’t bear the silence anymore.
“So…” She started, staring at her hands. “That was quite…nice, wasn’t it?”

He didn’t say anything at first, he just stared at the road. When Jo was about to give up and leave him alone, he finally said something.
“It has a heartbeat.”
Of course he knew the baby had a heartbeat, biology had always been one of his favourite subjects and he really did know everything about it, but this was different. It was so real. It made the baby real. It turned the baby from a thing into a real human being.
“It has a freaking heartbeat! Why does it…it has…” He paused. Jo had no idea what was going on with him, and whether he was angry or glad, although he sounded more upset than happy, but it wasn’t always easy to tell when it came to Liam’s emotions.
“It’s nice…”, he said so quietly that she could barely hear it. “That it, she, he, has a heartbeat…and stuff. That’s…nice.”
He didn’t need to say more, it was enough for Jo to know it was alright, that he was alright with the baby. And he even said she or he, that was his very first time.

172One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 4th June 2012, 22:47

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

A few days later Jo went with Ellen into town to buy a few famine things. They just came back when Jo ran into Lorelai at the door of Waterfall Downs.

“Hello Lorelai.” Jo said shy.

Lorelai look stern at her little cousin. “I don’t think it is the right time to be pregnant for you and Liam…, but it is not my place to judge you. I never made a decision for you and I won’t start to act like your mother. You are a young adult smart girl, woman and I plan on treating you like an equal. I am here to congratulate you to your blessing. If there is anything you need me let me know.” Lorelai sighed, they both knew she had practiced this speech several times even when she really meant it she still had troubles on really meaning it. “I just don’t want you to get hurt Josey.” Lorelai added gentler.

“I know.” Jo looked at her big cousin and when Lorelai hugged her tight they both knew it would take a little more time but Jo had Lorelai’s support. “Does Aunt Elizabeth know yet?”

“No we are going to tell her soon. I’m scared of doing so.”

“Is Liam okay with the baby?”

“Well it is a learning progress, but to be honest I think since his mom died he is scared of loving someone because he could lose this someone. But we are getting there. I just got him a present so he can be closer to the baby.”

“That’s nice. Okay I better go John said when I not come straight home after I talked to you he is sending the boys out to find me.”

Jo giggled. “I’ looking forward to meet my little girl.”

“Are you sure it is a girl? You look more like a boy.”

“Yes I’m very sure.”

Now Lorelai laughed as well when she hugged Jo a second time before she went to walk home. Jo went into Liam’s lab. “Liam I’ve got a present for you, do you have a moment?”

Liam looked up from is lab table. “Sure, just erm not here. I don’t want you in my lab anymore.” Jo looked hurt at him.

“No not because I don’t like you being here, just it is not safe in here. That’s all.” He walked over and kissed her. “You mentioned a present?”

Jo nodded and held a small box to him. He took it and opened it. “A stethoscope?”

Jo nodded shy. “That way you can hear the baby’s heartbeat any time.”

Liam kissed Jo while his hand rested on her stomach. “Thanks.”


It was early in the morning and Liam watched his wife sleep, so peacefully. He took the stethoscope from his night table and gently pushed Jo’s night shirt up. Her beautiful stomach was reviled and even when there was nothing yet really to be seen Liam thought he saw the small curve that wasn’t there a few months ago. He placed the earpieces in his ears and very gently pressed the other end of the stethoscope on Jo’s stomach.

“What the hell?” Jo sat up abruptly and looked bewilder around.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.” Liam felt bad that he had woken her and for a moment he didn’t know how it happened. Jo snuggled back into her pillows and hid under them. But only for a short moment then she turned around and snuggled her head against Liam’s chest. “Cold.”

It took Liam a few moments until he realized that Jo meant the stethoscope. “Sorry. I just wanted to hear the little one.”

Jo nodded, but Liam knew that Jo was too tired and too much still asleep to let go of him. “I love you.” She whispered in his chest. “But next time don’t wake me like this.”

Liam held Jo close and breathed in her Vanilla scent, since she was pregnant she seemed to smell more intensely, but he liked it. A little while after he had accidently woken his wife, she lifted her head and looked at him, while her hand moved down his body and into his boxer shorts. “Since I am up that early we should use the time to do something pleasurable.”

Jo grinned cheeky at her husband.

173One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 5th June 2012, 22:47

MissAusten

MissAusten

“I hope you know that from now on I’ll wake you more often if you keep doing this in the morning”, he said with a smirk.

“Don’t you even think about it.” She looked up to him. “My sleep is sacred to me.”

“Yeah, I know that just too well…” He wished he could just stay with Jo in bed for the rest of the day, but unfortunately they had an appointment- lunch with the lovely in-laws. He didn’t mind Colin at all, of course, it was more Elizabeth who didn’t really get him excited to visit Jo’s parents, especially today, when they wanted to tell her about the baby. He had no idea how they would do it, it didn’t really work with Lorelai, so it sure as hell would end in a disaster with Elizabeth, he had no doubt about out. He didn’t want to think of it, but they had to get up soon, lunch would be at twelve, so they didn’t have much time left and most certainly couldn’t ignore it any longer.
“Do we really have to go to your parents?”

“Yes, Liam, we have to tell her today and just get it over with, we can’t postpone it all the time, the faster we get it done the better we feel.”

“The better we feel? I’m not so sure about that…”

“Well, I’m nervous too, she’s probably going to throw knives at me or something, but at least it’s done.”

Liam sighed. “I would rather go ball dancing with Ricky than meeting your mother today and tell her that I got you knocked up. And I would even dress in a ridiculous ball gown if that would mean that I wouldn’t have to go to your parents today.”

Jo chuckled. “Let’s see what Ricky thinks about that, I’m sure he’ll like that idea…”

“No, you’re not telling him that I offered to go ball dancing with him!” He leaned closer so that he could kiss her. “Can’t we just write her a postcard or something, saying ‘Hey old witch, you’re going to be a grandma- congrats!’? Anything is better than telling her in person…”

Jo sighed. “I know...”

They left on time, although Jo had to literally drag Liam out of the house by pulling at his arm. She was driving although Liam didn’t like to see her drive in her ‘condition’, which was ridiculous since she was still so early on in her pregnancy that you could barely see anything, so she was perfectly capable of driving.
Jo switched on the radio and Liam immediately recognized the song that was playing.

“Oh no!”

“What?”

“That song!”

“What about it?”

“My mum used to tease me with it, well, it came out after I just turned ten, and she said that Brenda Lee must have met me and got inspired for that song. It was played in the radio over and over again, and she sang it to me all the time. Every time it came in the radio she was like ‘There’s your song again, Liam!’ Yeah, I wasn’t particularly fond of that song…”

Jo grinned. “Aww, but she’s right, it fits perfectly to you.” She squeezed his cheek playfully. “You do have the cutest little baby face!”

“Hey, hands on the stirring wheel, you’re driving a car, Missy!” He sighed. “And don’t you even think of ever singing that song in my presence.”

“Oh no, I would never!”, she replied teasingly.

174One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 5th June 2012, 23:56

Ariel Buttercup

Ariel Buttercup
Admin

Jo stopped the car in the drive way of her parent’s house. Even though Jo had basically begged her mother to go out for lunch, Elizabeth said she had a new cook and this was a cook opportunity to try him. Liam put his arm around Jo’s waist and whispered. “Okay listen little one, you grandparents are crazy, well more your grandmother. Your grandpa is okay. Don’t worry we can go and hide together whenever we visit them.”

Jo giggled. “Yeah take me with you will you?”

“Josephine. You are late I expected you four minutes ago. I taught you better manners. We have to skip the drinks and sit down at the table right away.” Elizabeth greeted her daughter and oh yes Liam. “Get inside!” In the corridor they ran into Colin.

“Darling you are early.” He hugged his daughter.

“Mother said we are late.”

“Well you know your mother. How are you darling?”

“I’m good.”

Colin looked insistently at his daughter. “I’m fine dad.”

“You are letting her drive like this Liam?” Colin manly hugged Liam.

“I don’t like it but…”

“He is driving way too slowly and overly careful, I swear last time he was driving a grandma snail passed us.” Jo giggled and kissed Liam.

“Sit down the first course is served!” Elizabeth stood bugged out in the dining room door and ushered them with just one look in the room. Liam sat on the opposite site of Jo just as Colin sat on the opposite sit of his wife. The lunch went on and since Jo’s appetite came back and the vomiting got less she decided to wait until the coffee is served which was now.

“Girl it is your job to ask my guests if they would like a coffee or tea. So do your job!” Elizabeth snapped at the maid, the poor girl jumped and mumbled the question. “Would you mind bringing me a cold glass of milk, please?” Jo asked the girl friendly.

“Josephine you are not a little girl anymore, you can’t have a glass of milk. Bring my daughter a coffee.” Elizabeth said sternly to the maid.

Jo shook her head. This would go really badly. She looked at Liam and saw the same in his eyes as she felt. They didn’t want to tell Elizabeth, for a moment Jo actually considered not telling her mother until she was big and ugly. But this was not an option.

“Mother, Liam and I have to tell you something. Well not just you also father. We have great but surprising news. It was not planned, but is now welcomed.” Liam and Jo looked at each other, a small smile playing around his lips. “Mother, Liam and I are with child.”

The maid noticed the shocked faces and piercing silence and went back into the kitchen. “Excuse me? I must have misheard you. You are what?” Elizabeth spoke very slowly trying to remain her continuance.

“I’m pregnant mother. You will be a grandmother next year in May.” Jo smiled shy.

“This are surprising but indeed wonderful news, aren’t they Elizabeth?” Colin said calmly but happy. “Congratulations you two.”

Jo actually thought this wasn’t as bad as expected, when her mother started shouting very unladylike. “Are you kidding me? You got hooked up with a bastard child and I’m supposed to be the happy grandmother? Haven’t you seen what children do to me? This bastard will kill you Josephine and you know it! I won’t accept that I am losing my only daughter to a child. Children bring nothing good. All children do is bring misery and pain and you know that. You are not getting this child! It will be the end of your love and life. Just as mine. It will kill you Josephine! Kill you do you hear me?” Elizabeth got up and stormed out of the dining room, slamming doors behind her. Colin got up and sighed. “Well we expected a reaction like this, please excuse me. Josephine I really think it is a great that you are becoming a mother.” Colin kissed his daughter on her head and followed his wife.
Jo got up too, she didn’t look at Liam and she had promised him not to run away again. So she just turned around she didn’t even leave the room.

“This is not fair! Why is everyone against this child? You don’t want it, Lorelai hates that I got pregnant so young, Mother tells me I’m dying and I killed her as well. I don’t want it like this. I don’t want that you think I stop loving you and I clearly never meant to hurt my Mother. I tried to be a good girl, but I failed. Everything I do is wrong.”Jo was heavily crying, her knees buckled and she fell on the floor, helpless and hurt. “I don’t want this. I want it to stop. Make it stop hurt Liam!”

175One Step At A Time - Page 7 Empty Re: One Step At A Time 6th June 2012, 20:24

MissAusten

MissAusten

Liam watched Colin leaving the room, while Jo got up and started crying and then fell on the floor. Oh boy, this was just as great as it could get! Lorelai’s freak-out was already more than enough, but Elizabeth’s hysterical screaming was the cherry on the top. Yes, he pretty much expected something like that, but seeing Jo so hurt was just awful. After they told Lorelai and she got mad, he actually agreed with her and suggested to give the baby up for adoption, which ended in Jo running away and him thinking that he lost her forever. This time he wouldn’t do the same mistake, but it was not only about avoiding that mistake, it was more about him not agreeing with Elizabeth on this one, and actually feeling like he had to protect the child- even though he didn’t want to feel that way, but he couldn’t stop it. It hurt him to see Jo having to put up with so much. It wasn’t just the pregnancy alone, it was everything, from people not supporting her, from making everything unnecessarily hard for her, and from not letting her be happy. He was just one of those people, but after she ran away and also after he heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, he really tried to change and to let Jo know that she had his support, although it was not always easy for him.
Liam still sat at the table while Jo cried heavily and told him to make it stop hurting. He felt awful seeing her so hurt, but then he slowly started to feel angry at himself because he couldn’t do anything to prevent Jo from getting hurt, and this feeling of helplessness was really upsetting. He was her husband after all, and as such he had to do anything in his power to make sure she wouldn’t get hurt.
Liam got up and looked briefly at her. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back, I just have to take care of something.”
She looked so desperate and scared at him, probably because she worried that he was leaving her again, but this was not his intention. No, this time he had to do something that he should have done before, and to everyone who hurt his wife.
Liam walked out of the dining room and followed the voices of his parents-in-law. They were upstairs, and when he got closer to their room he could hear that Colin tried to calm Elizabeth down, but all his wife did was sighing and complaining. Liam wanted to knock on the door first, but when he heard Elizabeth saying that Jo’s soul was destroyed forever, he got so mad that he just burst into the room, where, of course, both of her parents looked shocked at him. He wanted to apologize for interrupting, but looking at Elizabeth made it incredibly hard for him, and he knew that he was about to risk everything, but then he opened his mouth and all those thoughts that had been running through his head came out at once.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He didn’t look at Colin, only at Elizabeth. “Did you hit your head or something? How dare you say those things to your own daughter?”

Colin seemed very surprised at Liam’s courage to speak up like that, but Elizabeth looked so appalled that Liam worried he could give her a heart attack. Still, he continued.
“While you’re up here, Jo is downstairs on the floor crying. I know it was shocking for you to hear that she is pregnant, believe me, I was not very happy either when I first heard about it and in the past weeks I have often behaved like a jerk instead of supporting her, but you, as her mother, can’t do this to her! You can’t shout at her like this, do you even realize how much you hurt her? Of course she didn’t expect you to be happy about the news, but you could have at least pulled yourself together instead of bringing her down. She was actually considering an abortion at first because everyone around her, including me, were total jerks and didn’t welcome the fact that there was a baby on the way, but we all got it together somehow because we love Jo, and we want to see her happy. And if she’s happy about that baby I will be happy with her, even though it’s bloody hard because I’m not ready to be a bloody father, but I can’t stand seeing her hurt anymore, she doesn’t deserve it. She is so much better than all of us, she is the best…and she deserves the best…” He took a deep breath. He was never Elizabeth’s favourite person, but he knew that he had just become her Public Enemy Number One. He knew that the way he talked to his mother-in-law would bring consequences, but right now he only cared about standing up for Jo who no longer could stand up for herself, because everyone made it incredibly hard for her. “You are her mother, dammit! Her mother! I know you won’t support her, but you can at least apologize to her!”

“Liam.” Colin got up and walked to him. He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, but Liam only focused on Elizabeth.

“Go downstairs and apologize to her now! You owe it to her!”

“Liam, listen to me.” Colin led him outside, although the younger boy was not done with Elizabeth yet. “I give you great credit for defending my daughter like this, that is very honourable of you, but right now there is no point. Elizabeth will need some time before she is able to face Josephine again. Her reaction was very extreme, but she said those things to Josephine because she is scared of her daughter’s life. You’re aware about my wife’s pregnancy history, right? Elizabeth is so upset because she worries she could lose her only daughter and-“

“Jo is not going to die!”, Liam interrupted him. “She will not die.”

Colin looked at him quietly. “Thank you for taking good care of my little girl”, he said, putting his hand on his shoulder. “You better go now, I think it will be best for all.”

Liam wanted to continue arguing, but Colin already turned his back on him and closed the door behind him. While Liam was left alone in the hallway, he felt how desperately he needed his mother right now. She would have known what to do. She would have said the right things in the right moments, and most importantly, she would have been there for them, especially for Jo who was the one who had to carry a baby. Liam felt sad, angry and helpless at the same time, but then he remembered that Jo was probably still downstairs crying, so he quickly walked back into the dining room where she still was, cowered in a corner. Liam took hold of her arm and pulled her up carefully. “Let’s just get out of here”, he said. “And I don’t think your mother will be hurting you any time soon.”

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