One Step At A Time

Colin looked from Graham to Liam and suddenly it clicked in place. Of course he knew that Graham had left Liam mother while she was pregnant. “Did you and Jo consider hiring a nanny? You both are working parents and still rather young maybe it was not a bad idea. Not someone that looks permanent after your baby but you know someone who is around when you and Jo need someone.”

Liam looked up at Colin. “I don’t know what Jo thinks about that…”

“She liked her nanny didn’t she?” Colin asked a part of him never wanted to see the real problem between Jo and her mother and Anne.

“Oh she liked she, but…” Liam broke off he didn’t want to speak badly about his mother in law in front of Colin.

“Colin I never said anything because I thought it is not my place but it troubled Jo very much to be raised by Anne her nanny and not her mother.”

“Oh it wasn’t that bad, Elizabeth was around.” Colin laughed this weird fake laugh people do when they know they lie but want to believe their own lie. He looked from Graham to Liam. “Okay yes Elizabeth did and is still doing many mistakes, I mean she barely had seen her daughter and especially during the time of her first pregnancy I think a daughter needs her mother but Elizabeth is not listening to me. She is not ready to face her arriving grandchild. Anyway what I’m trying to say is that it might be helpful to have someone around how will get up at night to bring the baby back to bed. I remember many sleepless nights with Jo. She was a difficult baby. She didn’t like sleeping alone.” Colin smiled while he remembered all those nights he had spend with his daughter when he realized that it was most likely that Jo was up every night and he even though there were many night had had been with her wasn’t there every night. He thought Elizabeth would take her share too and the few nights left Anne would handle Jo. But it seemed to be that Elizabeth never had spend the night with Jo.

“I have to admit that Colin might be right Liam. If you have a nanny that helps you with the baby it might be good for you. After all a newborn can be a strain for a couple. I know that for a fact.” Graham ordered a round of whiskey for everyone.

“I will tell my secretary to give you a few phone numbers of agencies for you to find a suitable nanny, if you want.” Colin offered.

“Well it won’t hurt if I have a look at them.” Liam mumbled.

Later when Colin was about to say goodbye he pulled Liam away from Graham who luckily had met someone he knew and started chatting with him.

“Liam, listen I don’t want you to make a big deal out of this but I think well I know Jo and she always compared herself to her mother especially when it came to the topic of babies. Just in case Jo needs more help than a nanny, here this is a psychiatrist she is specialised for young mothers. You don’t even have to tell her you have this number.” Colin handed Liam a small note containing a phone number at a name.

Liam looked at the card in his hand. He appreciated Colin’s help a lot. He had already thought about hiring a nanny since he sure as hell would be overwhelmed with that baby and he had no doubt Jo would be too, but he didn’t dare to suggest it yet because he knew Jo took things very personally, and telling her they should hire a nanny would make her feel like she wasn’t a good mother.

“Thanks”, Liam said while he slipped the card into his pocket.

“I mean, if you want me to talk to her about hiring a nanny, I can arrange that, of course”, Colin offered.

Liam shook his head. “I think it’s okay.”

It was in the early evening when Liam came back. When he entered their flat he could already smell something good coming from the kitchen. Obviously Jo had cooked, which, at the same time, made him worry because he didn’t want her to stand around for too long.

“Jo?” He walked into the kitchen and found her getting out plates from the cupboard. She turend around and smiled at him.

“Oh, there you are. Perfect time, dinner is ready.”

“But you shouldn’t stand for too long, you know that…”

She rolled her eyes. “I was resting the entire day, this is the first time I dared to actually get up and stand for a few minutes. I’m not going to die.” She walked over to her husband and put her arms around him, although it wasn’t that easy anymore since a huge belly was between them. “Did you have a nice time?”

Liam nodded. “Yes, it was less weird than I had expected.”

“Any my father didn’t say anything to intimate you?”

“No, he didn’t.” Well, except all the ‘you’re becoming a father talk’… “Dinner smells really good.”

“Oh yes, it does. Ricky gave me the recipe. I swear, he cooks better than any housewife I know. If I were married to him I would be fat by now. Well, I am fat now but not because I ate too much yummy food.”

“You’re not fat.” Liam put his hand on her stomach. “You have a human being inside of you, that has nothing to do with being fat. How was midget today?”

“She was very nice today, not much kicking. I think she had a sleepy day today.”

Liam was quiet for a moment. “Ehm…Jo…there’s something I wanted to ask you. Please don’t kill me, it has nothing to do with your mother skills or anything like that, so don’t take it personally.”

Jo raised her eyebrows. “What is it?”

“Do you…eh…what do you think of hiring a nanny? Just for the first few months, you know, when the baby is all screaming and crying all the time, and we’re not alone after all, we have to look out for other kids, and I thought…well…having some help in the beginning wouldn’t be so bad, you know?”

Jo let go of Liam and went back to set the table, but the worrying thing was she didn’t said a word. Not one! But then when Jo put the food on the plates Liam saw that she was upset. Jo didn’t put the food on the plates, she dumped it angry mumbling and she half threw the plate on the table that Liam’s gravy overflowed the edge.

“Jo?”

“What the bloody hell do you think you are? I know you think you will suck as father but that doesn’t give you the right to think I will suck. Do you know how it is to be raised by a nanny and never see your own parents? No of course not because you were the lucky one who was raised by his mom. It hurts as hell to know that your parents give a shit about you and don’t care when you do your first steps. I will not miss any milestone of our baby. I hate the idea of someone else raising our child. I bloody hate it!” Jo got up and stormed out of the kitchen, just before she was out of the door Liam said.

“Jo what about dinner?”

“I’m not hungry anymore!” Jo left the kitchen but she didn’t know where to go so she ended up in the empty nursery. Lately she had been often in this room. She let her mind flow and pictured her little peanut grow up in this room. Ever since Liam had mentioned the nursery she couldn’t stop thinking about it and it was now her sanctuary.
Liam finished his dinner and put all the leftover food in boxes and then in the fridge. He knew that Jo needed this time to think after all he knew how much it hurt her to be raised not by her mother. Later when she had calmed down he would explain that he didn’t meant it as full time nanny. More like a personal assistant for them. He hadn’t told Jo but he liked the idea of midget run around the school, just like Gracie does. It would be nice and he knew that for a little child Waterfall Downs must be a wonderful playground. When the kitchen was clean and the food was put away he got out the assignment he had to correct, turned on the TV and let the cartoon run in the background while he read the assignments the first time.

It was getting late when Jo got up, she heard Teddy scratching at the front door. She let him in and went into the bedroom. She didn’t care if Liam would go to bed or not. She was still upset and hurt. She wanted for their child to be a mom like Catherine was for Liam, a mom they would always adore and treasure as highly as Liam still does with Catherine. It was late when Liam came to bed. He kissed Jo gently on the cheek and thought she was already asleep so when she suddenly spoke into the darkness he was surprised that she wasn’t.

“Maybe some help isn’t that bad. At least a little bit so that I can teach next term again, just a few hours per day. I just want to be a mom like yours, one that is really special and awesome and loved because she was always there when it was important.” Jo whispered into the darkness, and even though she tried it was easy to hear that she was crying. Jo saw it as a failure to need help to raise their child, a step closer to be like her mother. A mother that was never around.

Liam put his arm around her, his hand resting on her belly. He wished he could let them rest on her breasts now and then, but this wasn’t the appropriate moment right now.
“My mum was a good mum not because she was there for me when I needed her, but because I knew that she loved me, no matter what I did or said. And she showed it every day, every moment…” He paused for a moment. It was still hard for him to talk about her and he wished it would stop pulling at his heart everytime he or someone else mentioned her, but it would probably be like this forever, it didn’t matter how much time passed, his love for her didn’t just fade away only because he learned to live without her. “As you know, my mum worked and she was very often away, but that didn’t make her any less of a good mother. It’s really not about how much time you spend with your child, it’s about what you do when you get to spend some time with them. Just because you won’t be there 24 hours, 7 days a week, doesn’t mean you’re an incapable mother. Of course you should be in the kid’s life as often as possible, and that’s why I suggested a part-time help, not a full-time nanny, there’s a big difference. I know you worry that you’ll become like your mother”, he said quietly. “But it was actually more about the fact that she didn’t show how much she cared about you whenever she was with you. I have no doubt that you show little midget here how much you care about it, you have a much easier time showing those things than I do, so you really don’t have to worry. Midget will know how much you care.”

Jo’s hand touched his. “I just want to be for her like your mother was to you”, she whispered.

“And you will”, he said. “I have no doubt about that. You two have completely different personalities, but you will love the baby just as much as my mum lo…used to love me.” He was quiet for a moment. “And you will see that once you realize how much you love the baby, nothing else will matter for you anymore but this child.”

“And you, of course.”

“Yeah…sure…” He sounded less convinced about that. He cleared his throat. “You won’t be like your mother, you will be like mine, and the baby has no idea yet how lucky it is that you’re its mum.” The same moment he felt something pressing against his hand as if midget wanted to say ‘hi’ to him, he wasn’t sure if it was a foot or a hand he felt, but it was something.
He could hear Jo’s even breathing, she probably was so tired that she had fallen asleep. Liam lay awake for a while because he couldn’t fall asleep at all, he wasn’t even tired in the slightest, and it was almost two in the morning when he got up because he couldn’t lie still any longer. He walked out of the flat into his lab, got out something he had been working on the past week and picked up at the place where he had stopped the last time. He wanted to finish it because it was something he had made for midget.
An hour later he was done and left the lab. He went back to the flat and walked right into the empty nursery. He knew that Jo had a reason for not decorating it yet, and he got her point, but there was something he wanted to do.
He got on a small chair so that he could reach the ceiling and attached the self-built solar system he had worked on to the ceiling. He had read somewhere that babies liked to look at something moving, so he decided to build a solar system model.
Liam looked at the no longer completely empty nursery for a last time, then he went back to bed.

Jo woke up when Liam came back to bed, she turned around rather slowly and with a lot of difficulty. Her belly was huge, enormous to be precise.

“I love you.” Jo whispered more asleep than actually awake. She snuggled tightly against Liam, he smelled like his lab and somewhere deep in her mind she wondered why he had been in his lab, but then she had another thought. “Thanks for taking so good care of me and the little peanut.”

Liam kissed his wife on the top of her head. “Go back to sleep.”

Jo nodded and fell asleep right away. She was lately insanely tired probably preparations for the time after the peanut is born.

Two days later Liam was working in the headmaster’s office, preparing the report cards the students would get in a little more than a month. He was nervous, because Jo’s due date the 2nd May was the next day and it terrified him that the midget could come tomorrow. They were so not ready, he was glad that Jo was mostly downstairs in the library so that he let Lorelai sneak into the flat and start decorating the nursery so that it would be ready when they would come home in a few days with a baby. A sudden knock at the door woke him of his thoughts. “Come in.” He said loudly, and a wide grinning Jo walked into the door.

“Hey there handsome. What are you doing?” Well she couldn’t walk in any way sexy anymore she more walked like a duck, actually a drunk duck.

“I’m preparing the report cards for the students. And there are still some marks missing for a few…” Liam broke off something was weird about Jo. She didn’t lean against the desk or sat down on a chair, she kneeled in front of him and then… started opening his trousers.

“Jo what are you doing?” Liam was in shock but didn’t stop Jo. The soon to be mother pulled Liam down and kissed him.

“I gonna give my husband great pleasure.” Jo whispered seductively while she gently started massaging his package. It didn’t take long for him to get excited, Jo moved in a comfortable position pretty much sitting under the table. Jo moved on from her rather clumsy handjob to her rather good blowjob, Liam moaned in pleasure when a second knock let him freeze.

“Excuse me Mr O’Doherty I have this two assignments and they look 100% identically. I’m not sure how to handle the situation. Are you alright?” Evelyn looked worried at Liam, Jo had stopped but she was tenderly teasing Liam with her tongue at his tip while her hands wear gently placed in his inner thigh. She was sitting completely unseen by Evelyn under the desk. The young women nearly burst out loudly into laughter.

“Sure I’m alright”, he managed to say before he pressed his hand on his mouth to prevent any moaning.

“Okay…” The older woman didn’t look really convinced. “Anyway, what should I do with those two students? One of them obviously cheated, maybe both of them.”

Liam bit his lip. “I think we…eh…” He couldn’t focus properly because what Jo did under the table was way too distracting, and instead of stopping it she continued as if they were completely alone. “We…um…you should…talk to those two students…”

“Should I confront them directly?”

He tried to say something but he knew that no words but moans would come out, so he just nodded, still biting his lip.

“After I talked to them, should I send them to you as well? Usually the headmaster should be part of those conversations.”

Liam nodded quickly, still not saying a word.

Evelyn raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look a little tense.”

Tense? He felt like he was about to explode, and keeping that inside sure as hell made him bloody tense.
He took a deep breath, trying to keep it together. “Don’t worry, everything is…Oh.My.God!” He nearly shouted and left Evelyn all confused. He could tell that Jo had a fun time down there, because she did a pretty darn good job.
“I just…I…remembered something important!”, he quickly added, pulling himself together as good as possible. “You talk to the students first and send them to me later. I don’t believe in the concept of punishment, but every kind of cheating will have consequences. We will definitely have to mark them down for this one.”

Evelyn nodded. “Okay.”

Liam couldn’t wait until she finally walked out of the room and the moment she closed the door behind her, he let out a deep sigh.
“Are you crazy?”, he asked, pretty much out of breath because he tried to hold his breath most of the time while Evelyn was there.

Jo blinked innocently at him. “So, you want to tell me that you no longer want any blowjobs from me? Fine, I can arrange that.”

“No! That’s not what I meant”, he said. “You can do it anytime except when people are in the same room with us.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Evelyn probably thinks I’m totally insane now.”

Jo giggled innocently. “I have more where that came from.” She whispered seductively. Liam looked surprised at Jo.

“Is that so?”

Jo nodded, and unbuttoned her blouse and took it off. She got up, to lock the door of the office Jo had no intentions of getting interrupted this time. When she came back Liam was still excited enough… well he saw her new big boobs in a sexy bra with lots of red lace on the black silk.
She sat down on his lap, she might not sleep with him but she would give him a ride he would not forget. She let him touch her boobs, and managed not to freak out and Liam sure as hell liked this second special blowjob of his wife.
When Jo pulled up his boxers and trousers and sipped it all back close and then got dressed herself she smiled shy at him.

“Was it okay even without having actual sex?” Jo asked shy.

“Are you kidding me? This was amazing!” Liam was out of breath. He ran his hands through his hair again. “Aren’t you having the doctor’s appointment soon?”

“Yes and I actually just came to ask if you come along with me. I can’t stand the doc on my own.” Jo whispered.

It was the first of May when they went to the doctor’s to do the check-up. The baby’s due date was predicated for the second of May, which would be tomorrow, but Jo admitted that she didn’t feel like the baby would be coming tomorrow. After all, those dates were only predicated but not one hundred percent the actual date. It was crazy to think that the baby could come any day now, which also meant that their lives would change drastically any moment.
The doctor’s appointment went well and so far everything seemed good, which calmed Jo down a lot since she worried constantly that something might happen to the baby. After they left the building, they sat down on a bench since the weather was nice and they both had the day off. Jo probably didn’t mind but the fact that they would never have those moments to themselves anymore made Liam kind of sad. He really wished the baby would have come many years later because now he had to accept the fact that he would never have Jo to himself anymore and she would give all her love to that child from now on. They hadn’t been married for a year yet and he already had to give her up to someone else. They couldn’t even fully enjoy that first year of marriage because Jo got knocked up after the second month and after that it was all about the baby and nothing else mattered. Yes, Liam realized that his thoughts were sometimes a bit selfish, but he was still young and just not ready to share Jo with anyone yet, but the baby forced him to let her go. On top of that he had to act like he was totally okay with the fact that his wife would never love him the way she used to, and that after just one year of marriage. He really hadn’t expected their marriage to go like this after only one year, but that’s what babies do to a marriage, they take all of mum’s love she has for her husband away and suck it all up for themselves. Babies were actually the selfish ones, but nobody saw it that way because they were so tiny and cute, especially not their mothers who were the ones giving all their love to the children, and the fathers were left with nothing.

“You okay?”, Jo asked when she noticed how absent he was.

“Yes.”

“You’re nervous about all the changes, aren’t you?”

Liam shrugged his shoulders. “I guess.”

“I’m nervous too, believe me. I sometimes feel like peeing myself, that’s how nervous I am.”

He chuckled. “Well, good to know I’m not the only one”, he said jokingly.
They noticed an old, strange-looking woman approaching them. Her eyes were focused on Jo’s stomach, and Liam already expected her to say something like ‘May I touch it?’, but to his surprise the lady said something completely different. She ignored him, she only looked at Jo and her stomach.

“There is something wrong”, she whispered in some creepy horror-movie-voice.

“Excuse me?” Jo looked confused at her.

The woman pointed directly at Jo’s stomach. “I can feel it! There is something wrong with the child!”

Liam felt Jo’s hand squeezing his.

“I’m not sure what you’re saying, but we just came back from the doctor’s and he said that everything is fine and-“

“It’s wrong! It’s all wrong!”

“Whoa, hold on, lady!”, Liam interrupted her angrily. “I don’t know what the hell is going on in your crazy head, but you better not say this kind of shit in front of my wife!”

“Liam.” Jo looked at him. “She’s just an old lady, maybe she’s confused…”

“Well, I don’t give a damn if she’s confused or not.” He turned back to the old woman. “There’s nothing wrong, okay?”

The woman shook her head, her eyes widened. “Miss, have you not noticed that you are unusually big for someone at your stage?”

“Are you’re telling my wife she’s fat?” Liam had a really hard time not getting a freaking twig and poke her eye with that. “Don’t listen to her.” He got up and helped Jo to stand up as well. “We’re going.”

Jo looked worried, at Liam.

“There is something wrong with you, listen to my words!” The women shrieked a little hysterical.

“Liam?” Jo whined. “You are hurting me, stop. Please don’t pull me so much. I can’t run so fast anymore.”

Liam pulled her a little further and then he stopped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Man this was insane. Did she hurt her?”

“No she didn’t hurt me but what if she is right, what if something is wrong with the little peanut?” Jo sounded suddenly so worried.

“Nothing is wrong with the baby!” Liam pulled her in a tight hug. “You heard the doctor, and just so you know it drives me crazy when he is checking you out. I wanted to pull him away from you and go all Irish and punch him.”

Jo giggled into his chest. She liked it here, smelling like Liam, warm and so… Jo felt at home right here in her husband’s arms. Everything could change pretty much every second and Jo was scared that they would change. “I love you so much Liam. So insanely much, that I don’t know how to show you.”

“Jo the nannies are coming this afternoon we have to pick one. That’s okay right?” Liam whispered.

“I know.” Jo held on to Liam a little tighter. “You don’t think I will be a bad mom because we have a nanny do you?”

“No, of course not. Having a nanny doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mother at all”, he said. “And besides, she will only be there part time, she won’t replace you in any way or form.”

Jo nodded quietly. “I hope you’re right”, she whispered.

The next day –the actual due date of the baby- they had the interviews with the nannies. Jo seemed okay, there was no sign of any labour yet, but on the other hand it was shortly after noon, so the day had many hours left, and one could never know what could happen in those hours.
The first nanny was okay-ish, but with 74 years of age she was a little too old and Liam and Jo worried that she wouldn’t be the ‘fittest’ anymore. After the old woman came one hell of a creepy looking nanny around 40, looking like she belonged to some sort of cult for devil-worshippers, so she was a definite no. The third nanny was nice, but a little too young and immature and a bit…stupid. She constantly talked about her favourite actors and that she hoped she could meet Kennedy in person one day (as in John. F. Kennedy, who was killed eight years ago). After that girl left the room, Liam and Jo looked at each other and took their so wanted break. The next nanny would come in half an hour, so they had a little time to ‘digest’ what they just saw. Both were really quiet for a few minutes.

“I don’t know…”, Liam mumbled, finally breaking the awkward silence. “The grandma seemed nice.”

Jo took a deep breath. “What if we can’t find anyone? I don’t want to pick anyone just for the sake of it, I want to find someone who I can really trust in taking care of our child.”

“Well, there are two more, so maybe we get lucky.”

Jo didn’t look very convinced, but she was also tired at the same time. The night before she hadn’t slept well because she had worried about what that old creepy woman had said to her, it kept her awake for a while.
Liam and Jo went back to the office and waited for the next nanny to arrive. The door opened and a man in his late-twenties entered. He wore a bright yellow jumper and rather tight trousers, and the weirdest thing was- the purse! He had a huge, girly purse hanging over his shoulder.
Liam just stared at him and felt Jo’s hand at the same moment, signalling him not to make any sort of sarcastic comment.

“Hello!” He almost shouted at them, and he seriously sounded like a 12-year old (girl, not boy). “I’m Alex.”

Jo smiled while Liam only stared. “Hi, Alex”, she said friendly, shooting her husband a warning glance. “I’m sorry, I had expected…I meant…when I read Alex I automatically assumed the name comes from Alexandra…”

“That’s okay. I guess not many men are nannies.”

“No shit”, Liam mumbled, but the same moment felt Jo kicking him under the table.

“You two are so young! I thought you were at least twenty years older. And this house is so beautiful, it looks like it popped out right of an Agatha Christie novel.”

“Oh, thank you”, Jo said, keeping an eye on Liam who just didn’t know what hit him. Was this guy for real?

“And that shirt you’re wearing…is that an Yves Saint Laurent?” He had turned to Liam now.

“A what?”
Geez, he seriously needed Ricky as translator right now, he had no bloody idea what this guy was saying.

“It looks like his latest collection.”

“I…eh…no, I don’t know.”

Jo quickly jumped in and started talking about the important thing; kids. Alex seemed to know a lot about them, he said he had three younger siblings and he had a lot of knowledge about them, but she could tell that Liam wasn’t particularly…excited about having him as the future nanny. After Alex left, Liam was still quiet, obviously still in shock.

“You’re okay?”, Jo asked, trying not to make fun of him, but it was pretty funny.

“I’m not sure”, Liam replied dryly, then he slowly turned his head to her. “Was he for real?”

Jo giggled. “I assume you don’t want to see him in a nanny dress with an apron, do you?”

He just glared at her.

“Okay…” Jo sighed. “I guess we only have one more, and if that woman isn’t good either, we’re screwed.”

“Listen, I think we should move from the chairs onto the couch you look how tired you look.” Liam brushed a lose streak of hairs back behind her ear. He liked Jo’s hair when it was long but he really loved it short, he thought it suited her better.

“I’m fine.” Jo whispered.

“I know you are but I want you to relax a little. Come on.” Liam helped her up and led her to the couch at the wall next to the desk.

“But what will the candidate think when I’m sitting on the couch?” Jo tried to disagree with Liam.

“She will think that you are far along in your pregnancy and need to sit a little more comfortable.” Liam kissed Jo gentle while his hand was resting on her stomach.

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” A black woman said with a heavy southern state accent. Jo smiled shy and embarrassed.

“No you didn’t. That is the normal picture people see around us.” Jo looked at the file again. She hadn’t noticed that that she came from Jackson, Mississippi, USA. “Bethany Clark?”

“I please Ma’am don’t call me that. I’m Betty.” The black women smiled, friendly.

“Okay, Betty. So tell us about yourself.” Jo tried, she looked at Liam. He seemed okay and less in shock then with Alex. Jo looked at Betty and was remembered of Anne, her sweet, loving caring Anne.

“I think I am quite a few years older then you are, and I worked all my life as a maid and nanny while I raised my own three children. I think they are a little older then you two now. They are still back home at Mississippi, but I knew I had to move on. That’s how I came to England, my last family in Brighton they let me go because of my accent.”

“This will here not a problem.” Jo said.

“Yes, I don’t think you accent will be a problem.” Liam said.

“May I ask why you are looking for a nanny?”

“It’s a part time nanny.” Jo blurted out bluntly. Liam looked at her, he knew how threatened she felt by hiring a nanny. And then there was Betty, she actually surprised Liam.

“The way I see being a nanny it that she… well I hope it will be me will be there to help you out. Any time of the day we agreed on I will be ready to help whenever you need me. And since this is a school while you don’t need me I would like to make myself useful with the students. I might not be the smartest but I can be there for the children. I don’t want your child to forget who its mama is. I am just the help and that is all I want to be I have raised my own children and don’t need more.”

Jo looked up, she had rested her head on Liam’s shoulder. Betty looked honestly at them, her eyes confirmed that she didn’t want to be more then the nanny for the child.

“I had a nanny, a nanny that became my mom because my mother didn’t want to see me as long I wasn’t perfect. I don’t want my child to grow up like this. I want to be there for every important moment even when it is a tiny moment for my little peanut it is the most important moment for me and I will just have one chance to see her firsts.” Jo mumbled.

“Then you will be there.” Betty smiled in her charming a little sneaky smile. “I understand when you need some time to make your decision, but I would like to say that you are wonderful people and I’m sure your child will be very lucky to have you as your parents.”

“I agree”, Liam said. “The kid can be lucky to have Jo as mother.” He purposely didn’t refer to them as parents, because he certainly knew midget was anything but lucky to have him as father. Liam wished he could do another interview, not with potential nannies but potential daddys for his child, because he really wanted midget to have a father to look up to, not one who had the word loser all across his forehead. Of course he didn’t want to be replaced as a husband, so whoever he would hire as ‘dad’ for midget wouldn’t automatically become Jo’s husband (hell no!) but Liam wished there was a chance for midget to grow up with a dad who could be a role model, not a total embarrassment. There were moments when he wondered if it was better to keep a distance from midget, not because he didn’t care, but because he thought that maybe not having a father at all was better than having one they were ashamed of. It was strange coming from him out of all people since not having a father had been a great disadvantage for him and his mum many years ago, but maybe it was actually a better option for midget so it didn’t have to be embarrassed in front of friends or other people for that person who was unfortunately its father.

“Do you know the baby’s gender yet?”, Betty asked friendly.

“A girl”, Jo said while Liam answered “No” at the same time. Betty looked confused at them.

“Well, we don’t know it for sure”, Jo admitted, blushing a bit. “It’s just…I…”

“You’re not ready for a little boy”, Betty finished with a smile. “That’s completely understandable, little boys sure are a hand full.”

“And I have absolutely no experience with them.”

“Do you think I have any experience with little girls?”, Liam asked a bit sarcastic. Okay, and that sounded weird. “I mean…what am I supposed to do when she wants me to go bra-shopping with her?”

Jo chuckled. “First of all, that won’t happen for at least another eleven years, and secondly, I highly doubt she would pick you to go bra-shopping with you. Also, if she would take you, you would end up forgetting about the actual reason why you came here and suddenly you would end up checking out lingerie for grown-up women…”

“That’s not true.” That was so true.

Betty grinned. Those two were obviously still kids themselves, but she had no doubt that they would make good parents.

“I’m just not ready for a boy, I have to admit”, Jo said.

“Well, I don’t think I’m ready for a girl.”

“Great, and you’re telling me this so shortly before the baby comes?” Jo looked at him with raised eyebrows. “There’s a 50 percent chance it will be a girl.”

“And there’s a 50 percent chance it will be a boy.”

Jo crossed her arms. “If it’s a boy I will put a dress on him and let his hair grow and forget about the fact that he’s a boy all together.”

Liam stared at her. “Are you serious?”

“No!” Jo couldn’t avoid a giggle. “But that still doesn’t change the fact that the thought of having a boy freaks me out a bit.”

Betty smiled at them. “I’m sure whatever it will be, you two will be okay.”

A bit later, when Betty left and Jo and Liam went upstairs to spend the remaining day comfortable on the couch watching movies, they were really relieved because they had found a nanny and were sure that the baby would be well taken care of and safe with her.

On the sixth of May, four days after the due date – and Jo was still as pregnant as ever- Liam woke up from a terrible dream. “Jo!”

She was still buried under her blanket, not willing to come out yet.

“Jo!”

“Hm?”, she grumbled.

“I dreamed the baby didn’t come, and you were growing bigger and bigger, and you ended up having the same amount of time carrying the baby like a female elephant, 22 months!”

Jo finally showed up from underneath the blanket. “Are you kidding me? Why the hell are you telling me this?”

“Sorry, I just thought I had to share my dream with you. Be glad I don’t share other dreams with you…”

She just stared at him. “What’s wrong with you?”, she mumbled cynically.

“Apparently a lot.”

Jo disappeared back under her pillow. She wasn’t feeling well but she also didn’t want Liam to know. He always worried so easily. She liked that they have slept in today.

“I go and take a bath.” Jo mumbled and got out of the bed heavily, she kissed Liam.

“Hey are you okay?” Liam held her hand for a moment.

“I’m fine just heavy.” Jo mumbled, she kissed him a second time. “I love you so much.”

She knew he wouldn’t answer so she wobbled into the bathroom. The hot water of the bath let her relax a little. But not long, she was wondering what real labour pain would feel like when those false already hurt so much. And the worst part was her boobs where driving her crazy, she felt like they would explode any second.
Jo didn’t touch her breakfast, and just stirred her warm milk.

“Hey how about we go into town. We could have lunch, and catch a movie and just have a nice day?” Liam mumbled while he pulled her bad down on the bed, he had his stethoscope and listened to the steady heartbeat of his midget.

“Yeah maybe you are right, this waiting drives me crazy.” Jo hair smelled like vanilla, Liam loved her when she came just out from under the shower. And maybe this distracts me from my back pain.

“I have the perfect movie to watch.” Liam pointed at the newspaper, Pretty Maids All in a Row. Jo nodded and smiled to hide that she wasn’t feeling well.

When they got into town, Liam couldn’t help but worry if it was a bad idea after all because Jo seemed to have troubles walking at all.
“Are you okay?”, Liam asked worried.

“Of course I’m okay!” She didn’t mean to snap at him but she was mad for being so huge and slow and everyone around her seemed to stare at her as if she was some zoo attraction.

“Well, if you’re not, let me know and we can go back, okay?”

“I’m fine”, she mumbled. At the same time she noticed how a group of school girls walked by on the other side of the street and stared at her. “They all think I’m ugly, I can see it!”

“You’re imagining that, Jo, nobody thinks that.”

“Oh yes, they all do.”

They went into a little restaurant to have lunch, but Jo wasn’t hungry anymore. She stared at the menu without actually reading it. “I’m just tired of looking like this”, she mumbled.

“It’s not for much longer”, he said, not looking at her.

“Oh yeah? I think she takes an awfully long time in there, and I’m tired of it!”

Liam finally looked up and saw how upset Jo was. He reached for her hand.
“It could happen any day. You will not end up like an elephant and look like that for another thirteen months, you hear me?”

Jo bit her lip, but then nodded.

“Besides…” Liam paused for a moment. “This will be the last time we will be like this, I mean just you and me…”
…before you’ll dump me and turn all your love to your princess. Or prince.

Jo looked up and smiled. “I know, it’s kind of weird to think that.”

“Yeah.” Liam mumbled. He had ordered some food for Jo but she didn’t eat any. They sat on a bench for some time until it was time to go to the cinema. Jo was really glad when she was able to sit down. Liam grinned and pulled out jar of peanut butter and a spoon. “I thought you might like this.”

“Oh, yes.” Jo smiled widely and took the jar, but she didn’t eat it. Jo leaned her head against Liam’s shoulder and tried to calm down, not that it actually worked. Her back was killing her.

This hurts so much, peanut please stop hurting me so much?

Silent tears were running down her cheeks. The pain grew stronger and then suddenly…

“Oh my God Liam… I think I peed myself.” Jo whispered totally embarrassed, followed by a scream well more a moan and Jo grabbing Liam’s arm tightly. “Fuck this hurts so much! What’s going on?”

At first Liam had been so distracted by the pretty ladies in the movie that he hadn’t heard Jo saying that she peed herself, but when she grabbed his arm and said something hurt, he finally turned his head to her.
“What hurts?”

“I don’t know…my belly and…ouch!” Jo bit her lip. “And I think I peed myself…”

Liam looked at her quietly for a moment. “You sure?”

“No. I just…oh God…” She realized what was happening, and so did he.

“Oh God.”

“Oh no.”

“Did your water just break?” Liam stared at her.

“I…I think so…”

“Oh, shit!” He jumped up and helped her up carefully. “We have to get you to the hospital. Can you walk?”

She nodded, but she pressed her lips together because the pain got worse. A few people behind them looked annoyed at them because they were interrupting the movie, but Liam so didn’t care right now. He led Jo outside into the hallway. “Sit down here”, he said, and she sat on the carpet while holding her belly.
“Liam, it hurts so much!”

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what to say and he felt terrible because after all it was his fault that she was in this situation and had to go through this pain.
“Hey!” He turned to a boy about seventeen who worked at the cinema. “Hey, you! I need you to call the ambulance, my wife is having a baby!”

The boy just stared at them stupidly. “Is she going to have the baby here?”

Liam rolled his eyes. “If you’re not going to call the ambulance she will have the baby here, so move it!”

The boy nodded and quickly ran to the next telephone while Liam squeezed Jo’s hand. “It’s going to be okay, you hear me? I’m right here.” Liam knew he had to be calm for both of them, but inside he started to feel really sick.

“No, no Liam I can’t. I can’t be a mom yet. I’m not ready! Liam make it stop.” Jo whined.

Liam was completely helpless he held Jo in his arms, he felt like starting to cry himself since he didn’t feel ready to be a father either.

“It hurts so much. I didn’t know it would be that bad.”

“Jo try the breathing we learnt in the birth class.” Liam mumbled before did the breathing so Jo could copy it. Jo tried to breathe and to calm down. Tears were still running down her cheeks and her left arm was wrapped around her belly. “It’s not working Liam? When is the ambulance coming? I don’t want the little peanut to be born in the lobby of the cinema.”

Liam kissed her gently and continued the breathing even though when he really felt stupid doing it.

“Maybe the little peanut decided to come now because she wanted to finally meet you and have a day like this with you.” Jo mumbled between contractions, she was still scared but the breathing calmed her down.

“Yeah…I doubt that”, he mumbled while Jo squeezed his hand harder.

“Ehm…sorry?” The boy appeared next to them again, looking nervously at Jo. “The ambulance is coming any moment. Do you…eh…want a coke or something? Or popcorn? It’s on the house.”

Liam stared at him. “Are you serious?”

Jo knew the only boy meant to be nice, so before Liam could say anything she quickly shook her head. “No, thanks…ouch!” She held her stomach with her free hand.

“It will only get worse”, Liam said very matter-of-factly. He couldn’t help it, he was so nervous and tense that all this information he read about pregnancy the past months popped up in his head.

“You’re not helping me!” She didn’t mean to shout at him, but the last thing she could need right now was someone telling her how horrible the next couple of hours would be.

“I’m sorry, I’m a little nervous and then I can’t shut up.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jo took a deep breath.

That same moment the ambulance arrived in front of the entrance and three paramedics rushed in. They helped Jo up carefully but Liam didn’t let go off her hand, not for a second.

Jo was so glad that Liam didn’t let go of her. She was so scared. Well and since this one very bad incident with two kidnappers a few years ago she was always suspicious of men she didn’t know, like the paramedic.

“What is your name miss?” One of the paramedics asked politely.

“It’s not Miss, its Mrs Josephine O’Doherty.” Jo snapped at the paramedic. “But you can say Jo.” She said a little friendlier.

“Liam I want you to know that it is okay if you want to be waiting daddy in the lounge. I can do this alone women’s bodies are built for this task right?” Jo kissed Liam’s hand that was holding hers.

“I’m not so sure about yours though”, he said. He didn’t mean to freak her out, but he already wondered how on earth she would manage to squeeze out a baby.

“I can do it”, she whispered, but she didn’t sound very convinced either.

“I’ll go in with you.” Liam knew he would be freaked out as soon as he was in that room and seeing Jo giving birth was certainly something he didn’t really want to see, even if many men said it was a very special moment, but it still grossed him out. However, he couldn’t leave her alone, not even with the doctors. He just had to be there with her.

A weak smile appeared on her face. “Thanks…ah!” She held her breath. “It’s getting worse!”

“Miss, are you okay?”, one of the paramedics asked.

“It’s Mrs! And no, I’m not okay!”

Liam felt so helpless. Seeing Jo hurt like that and he couldn’t do anything about it was killing him. He wished he could turn back time, to the day they made the baby, and he wished he could change it all and let them watch TV that night instead, so Jo would not be in pain right now.
He tried to think of something that would distract her.
“Have you thought of any names yet?”

“I’ll think of that when she’s finally out of my body”, Jo grumbled.

“What if it’s a boy? You have any name on your mind?”

“Yeah, it should be Alfred.”

“What?” Liam looked confused at her. “Really?”

“No, Liam, not really! I can’t think of baby names right now, all I can think of is getting her out!” She paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to-“

“That’s okay.” He planted a kiss on her forehead. “You can even call me all the names you want, I totally understand. You must hate me for getting you into this situation.”

She shook her head. “No, I love-“

“We’re at the hospital, Mrs”, the paramedic said.

Jo nodded to the paramedic and then looked back at Liam. “I was going to say. No I am not sorry that you put me into this position. This little peanut is the fruit of our love! And I love you with all my heart. Don’t forget that while I scream the next hours.” Jo mumbled so that the paramedics that carried her out of the ambulance didn’t hear her.

Liam didn’t have time to answer her, because a nurse approved them. “Oh golly, that looks like a first labour? How are you doing love?” She asked gently but firm.

Jo was about to snap at her but then actually smiled shy. “I think I’m okay. It hurts really bad but that is normal right? My water broke in the cinema so not much longer until we gonna meet our baby right?”

“Yes darling it is normal that it hurts, we will see how much longer it might still take some time until your baby is born. Just try to stay calm okay?” The nurse spoke very gentle, but still authoritarian. “I will take you to get changed into a hospital gown and your husband will do some paperwork, okay?”

Jo looked worried the thought of Liam not being with her while someone helped her to get changed scared her, but then she saw something just for a second she saw in Liam’s eyes. Liam was scared, nervous, and so sorry he put her in this situation. Jo was sitting now in a wheelchair, she pulled him down to her and kissed him passionately. “I don’t blame you for anything okay? I love you so don’t worry about me.”

“Sir, please you need to fill in these papers.” A second nurse handed Liam some paper work while the first older nurse took Jo to get changed.

“Um do I really have to wear this gown?” Jo looked down at herself. The gown was open at the back. “And I would really prefer to wear some knickers.” Jo blushed.

“Well dear, there is this little problem that the knickers would be in the way of the baby to come out.”

“Oh yeah I forgot about that.” Jo blushed while the nurse helped her into the bed to be wheeled into her room where she would get ready to deliver this baby. “Where is Liam?”

“I will go and look for him, also your Doctor is on the way.” The older nurse smiled friendly at Jo and petted her arm.

While Liam filled out the papers, a man about thirty appeared next to him, with the same stack of papers. “Your first?”, he asked.

Liam looked up. “Sorry?”

“Is it your first child? I assume, you look rather young to be a father.”

“Yeah, it’s the first”, Liam said. “And hopefully, well, definitely the last. I’m done with children.”

The man chuckled. “I said the same thing, and right now my wife is here to give birth to our fourth child.”

“Holy shit, four kids? I would shoot myself.”

“Well, there are moments when I think that too, but to be honest, there are so many more moments where you just value the fact that you are a father and have those wonderful children.”

“I don’t have a guarantee that my child will be wonderful, it can be a total brat, you never know. And it will take away my wife, it will hate me, it will…it will…” Liam paused for a moment. “I just want it to like me.”

The man smiled. “What makes you think it won’t like you?”

“You haven’t met my wife, she’s this great person who everyone loves, and she has such a big heart, and I’m just a weirdo who thinks the Theory of Relativity is more important than sentimental words, and I have serious issues with saying nice things, I mean basic stuff like ‘I like you’, so guess who the kid is going to prefer?”

“Neither”, the man said. “It will love both of you just the same.”

“Yeah, your kids probably do but that doesn’t mean-“

“Liam O’Doherty?” The older nurse appeared behind him.

Liam almost jumped up. “Is it coming? Is it happening?”

The nurse smiled. “No, the baby isn’t coming yet, but your wife was asking if you could join her. Are you done with the paperwork?”

He nodded and turned to the other man. “Good luck with everything.”

The man nodded. “Good luck to you too. And believe me, it will love you just as much.”

Liam wasn’t sure about that at all, but he didn’t want to argue so he nodded, then he followed the nurse into the room where Jo was already lying in bed.
“Hey Lady.” Liam kissed her on the head. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay, I guess.” She reached for his hand.

“When is the doctor coming?”, Liam asked the nurse.

“He should be here any second”, she replied.

“He better knows his stuff”, Liam mumbled.

Jo calmed down right the moment Liam came through her room door, but the talking about her doctor she got nervous again.

“Doctor Brown is coming?” Jo asked scared, the nurse misunderstood her fear.

“Oh everything will be fine as soon the doctor is here. Just try to relax during the contractions.” The nurse patted Liam’s back and went outside.

“Liam?”

“Yes Jo?” Liam was gently stroking her face.

“I don’t think I like my doctor.” Jo whispered.

“It will be okay.” Liam felt so helpless he wanted to say more but Dr Brown walked in.

“So misses scary-pants shall we get this show on the road?” As usual Jo didn’t answer him. “Okay, sit up and spread your legs.” The nurse that had followed him helped Jo into a sitting position and to spread her legs. Jo was holding Liam’s hand tightly, and even tighter when Dr Brown pushed forwards and check how much Jo was dilated, Jo screamed.

“Oh girl stop being so whiney, it will be a long time until this baby is born. You are just four centimetres dilated.” Dr Brown took his hand from between her legs and took off the glove.

Jo whimpered into Liam’s arm, Dr Brown had really hurt her. She wished there was another doctor attending her.

Liam looked at Dr Brown as if he wanted to rip off his head. Well, technically, he did want to rip off his head. Yes, he had expected that the doctor would have to look at Jo’s private parts, even if he didn’t like the fact that some other guy saw it, but what the hell was wrong with that doctor? Jo might be a little sensitive, but it was obvious that this jerk had really hurt her.

“Hey!” Liam turned to the doctor who just gave him a ‘mind-your-own-business’-look. “I know you’re just doing your job, but would you mind being a little bit nicer to my wife? It’s already hard enough for her.”

Dr Brown raised an eyebrow. “There are hundred thousands of pregnant women who are in the exact same situation right now, your wife is no exception. And all those women have to go through the exact same thing and have the exact same pain, but barely any of those women yammers as much as your wife does.” He didn’t even look at Jo, as if she wasn’t in the room.

“I know that there are many women in the same situation, but still, it shouldn’t give you the right to be so disrespectful to her.”

Dr Brown looked at him annoyed, then turned to the nurse. “If he keeps talking, I won’t be able to do my job, so he better leaves the room now.”

“No!” Jo squeezed Liam’s hand tighter.

The nurse felt sorry for her and turned to the doctor. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”

“Fine.” Doctor Brown crossed his arms. “But the moment he gets in my way, he leaves or he can deliver the baby by himself.”

“Excuse me?” Liam took a deep breath, trying really hard not to just punch this guy square in the face.

“Geez, can’t you teenager just use protection? I’m tired of pregnant teenagers coming in here all the time.”

“We’re not teenagers, we’re marr-“

“So what? You’re eighteen? Big deal!”

Liam was about to say something really mean but Jo stopped him. “There’s no point”, she said, and watched the doctor leaving the room.

“I want to make him choke on his own vomit!”

“Liam, we’re not alone”, she whispered, but he so didn’t care if there was still the nurse in the room. “Excuse me?”, Jo asked. “Is there any chance we might…um…switch the doctor perhaps?”

The nurse shook her head. “I’m sorry, but at the moment he’s the only one, all the other doctors are occupied.”

Jo sighed quietly while Liam already thought of various ways to kill that guy.

“Try to get some rest love, it will take some more time until you are ready. Ring if you need anything.” The nurse smiled gently the two young adults. Jo nodded and leaned back, while Liam helped her to take down her legs. He was really gentle when he touched her leg and pulled them off the footrest. Jo moaned in pain again.

“Sorry I didn’t hurt you.” Liam mumbled.

“No it wasn’t you. Thanks for the help.” Jo turned on her side in the bed so that she could easier look at Liam. “Hey Liam?”

“Yes?”

“The bed is big enough for both of us, can lie with me a little. It would make me feel a lot better if you could hold me.” Jo mumbled. “Please.”

Liam looked for a little moment at her, but then he nodded and climbed behind her into the bed. He wrapped his arm around her belly. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

Jo took Liam’s hand and kissed it since she didn’t reach his lips. “Liam I am really not mad at you. It’s not like you hit me or something like that.”

Liam didn’t believe her but he rubbed her back and held her the next couple of hours. Jo’s contractions were steady and regular and of course not really let her rest.
It was around four in the morning when Dr Brown checked her again.

“Nope still not there. You are taking an awful lot of time. I don’t even understand how you could get pregnant in the first place. I never saw such a disgusting vagina. How did you get over it and fuck her, boy?” Dr Brown was poking around between Jo’s legs, but this time she was hiding her face in Liam’s chest.

“Shut the fuck up! You have no right to talk to my wife like that. So stop talking like that and just do your job!” Liam said angry while he was stroking over Jo’s head.

“Getting a little cocky here boy?” Dr Brown said but he left the room before Liam could answer.

“I don’t like him Liam.” Jo was heavily breathing and looking really scared. “He hurts me I don’t think that this is supposed to hurt. I get it that the whole giving birth thing hurts but the way he touches me… I feel like he does it for pleasure.” Liam brushed Jo tears away with his thumbs.

“No much longer okay? Try to sleep a little.” This time he sat behind her and wrapped both arms around her. And he started singing and humming all songs he knew, which always calmed Jo down.
Not long after Jo’s contracts got stronger and were only several minutes apart.

“We are finally there. I despise first time births, they are so time consuming.” Dr Brown looked annoyed at Jo. “It is time to get you in the delivery room. Nurse, move her.”

The Nurse helped Liam out of the bed and brought Jo into the delivery room. It was all prepared for the newborn baby.

“Okay now push!” Dr Brown said as soon he came in the room. It all seemed kind of off when the nurse and midwife didn’t move into action, they all looked confused at him while Jo screamed her lungs out.

“Something is wrong! You have to help me.” Jo yelled at Dr Brown, who rolled his eyes.

“I told you, bloody hell! Push!”

Jo tried to do what he said but it was like her body didn’t listen to her. She collapsed half unconscious and pale like the sheets back into the pillows, blindly searching Liam.