Yes, he knew the way very well. And the closer they got to their destination, the more he recognized everything. It’s been seven years when he was here, and it had felt forever until now, until the moment he came back here, and suddenly it started to feel like it was just yesterday when he still lived here. Jo was very cheerful and got so excited every time she got a view of the ocean. She kept saying how beautiful everything here was, and he played along and tried not to show anything.
Then they reached Camden, where he had lived for two years, a charming small town right next to the ocean. Jo had no idea this was his former hometown, and he didn’t feel like telling her while they drove through the streets he still knew by heart. It all looked the same, as if the time had stopped the moment he left this town seven years ago. Since it was a small town he knew every street, ever corner, but he didn’t know all the people who lived here except his direct neighbours, because back then he never made an effort to get to know those strange American suburban people who brought apple pies to their neighbour’s house and kept chatting and gossiping on their big wooden porches. His mother wasn’t very successful in getting to know those people either, but she had a different reason. The women her age avoided her, not because she was unfriendly, but because she was different. She had a job, she wasn’t married, she raised a child on her own, she never wore those ridiculous petticoat dresses and pearl necklaces and she most certainly had no idea how to cook and bake whatsoever. And yet she was the most beautiful among all those women, a fact that the other ladies did not particularly like. They were all the same, looked the same, talked the same, but Catherine was different, and she attracted attention, while those other women fell into the background.
“You’re right!” Jo’s voice reached him and interrupted his thoughts. “This town is absolutely beautiful.”
“Yeah…” Liam looked out of the window, and that same moment he felt how his heart stopped. Completely by coincidence Jo had just made a turn and drove right into the street where he used to live. It looked all the same, on the mailboxes were still the same names, and he recognized the ugly curtains from that old lady that used to call him angel face everytime she saw him. God, he hated that name. And she kept on squeezing his cheeks very hard each time he accidently ran into her.
Every house looked the same; built in a typical New England style, most of them painted white, with big front lawns and porches. All of them, except one…
“Look at this house, it’s adorable!”, Jo pointed out the only house that looked different than the rest in the street. It was at the end of the street, the smallest, not even half as big as one of the other houses, and half covered with ivy. There was an old, almost antique looking mailbox with no name, and some of the windows were round, as well as the door, as if the architect of Hobbiton had some influence on its design.
Jo stared at the house as if she’d never seen anything more beautiful, which was almost funny, because that girl grew up in a freaking castle. And there she was, admiring the smallest house in the entire street, not aware that it used to be the house Liam and his mum had lived in.
“It looks like it’s right out of a fairy tale, kind of enchanted…”
“Enchanted?” He raised his eyebrows. He wondered who lived there now.
“Hey, where do you want me to drive now? Can we go to the harbour? And the beach? Oh, yes, I want to see the ocean!”
“Yes, I…ehm…I wanted to go to the ocean anyway”, he said quietly. “Actually, can we make a stop downtown first, I just need to get something before we go to the beach.”
“Sure, just tell me the way.”
Liam directed her downtown, which was the heart of the town, filled with the typical New England charm.
“Okay, stop here, please”, he said, and Jo looked rather confused when she pulled the car over in front of a flower shop. “I’ll be right back”, he said, and her eyes followed him, still confused that he actually went into that flower shop. One of the last places she expected her husband to go was a flower shop. Was he actually buying her flowers? No way, he wasn’t that romantic. But on the other hand, why else would he buy flowers? She tried not to smile when she thought of him buying flowers for her, and then he returned, with a dozen white lilies.
“Now you can drive to the beach”, he said, not looking at her, holding on to the lilies.
Jo wanted to ask why he bought the flowers because she was curious, but she waited and hoped he would tell her of his own accord, but as always, he kept her in the dark. She was a bit upset that once again he didn’t tell her what he was doing, and she tried really hard not to make a sharp remark, but before she got the chance, they reached the beach, and the sight of the blue water glittering in the sun made her speechless for a moment. Of course she had seen the ocean before, but this right here just looked incredibly beautiful. The ocean always reminded her of Liam, of his eyes, and it made her happy just looking at it for a while. She parked the car and they got out, looking at the stunning sight for a moment, before Liam started walking towards the water. He pressed the flowers to his chest as if he worried someone would come and take them away from him, then he took off his shoes and walked right into the water until it reached his knees.
“Liam, what are you doing? You’re not taking a swim with your clothes on, are you?”, Jo shouted, but he didn’t pay attention to her. With the lilies still in his arms, he looked across the ocean. How could something so beautiful take away the one person he loved so much? He always liked swimming, he learned how to swim before every other child did, but after he lost his mother to the ocean, to this particular one, this one he was just standing in, he hated the ocean more than anything. It took him a couple of years when he finally got back into a pool, but this was his first time in years that he stood in the water of the ocean. This very ocean that took his mother away from him, and now he stood there, at her grave. It was the first time he paid her a visit, and he brought her favourite flowers, white lilies.
Jo had reached the water and stood behind him, but she no longer asked him questions, she just watched him quietly, because she slowly realized what was going on.
Liam had so much to say to Catherine, so much to tell her, and yet he found himself unable to say a word. After a moment where he just stood in the water, the flowers pressed to his chest, not moving at all, he finally took a deep breath, lowered his arms and spread the lilies across the surface of the ocean.
“Is breá liom tú”, he said quietly. It was almost a whisper, but Jo could still hear it.
She felt tears in her eyes and tried hard to hold them back. This was the most vulnerable she had ever seen him, that person in the water was someone she didn’t really know, someone almost fragile, definitely not the Liam that she knew. And as sad as she felt seeing him like that, it also warmed her heart, because she had the proof that behind all his rational thinking and insensitive comments was someone far more vulnerable than she had ever imagined.
She wanted to go to him, wanted to hug him, but she wasn’t sure how he reacted. He probably wanted to have space right now. Jo watched the lilies floating away from them.
And then Liam turned around. And smiled. It was not just any smile, it was a relieved, almost happy smile, and he didn’t look like a young man but like a little boy, a carefree little boy.
Before she could say anything he walked out of the water, towards her, and she felt his hands under her arms, and one second later he lifted her up like her father used to lift her when she was a little girl.
“You’re so light”, he said, smiling warmly at her. “It’s like you have wings.”