Head Games: A Romulenna Adventure

To be safe, Rome pulled the Ferrari around to the back of the motel where it was out of sight. Man, they really had to stop frequenting these sleazy dives all the time. Just once, he'd like to go somewhere where the Ferrari was an asset and not a liability. Luckily, night was falling, and the full moon was covered by clouds.

"Okay, okay," he said, pulling the cage out of the back seat. The little buggers were leaping around like Mexican jumping beans on crack with rabies. "Holy sh*t, chica, you're right. These things are insane." He set the cage on the ground quickly and wiped his hands. He rummaged around in the car for his weapons bag and began screwing a suppressor onto his handgun. Elenna was staring nervously at him. "What, you want me to drown them or something? He tossed her his wallet. Go get us a room, pay cash. I'll follow you in."

She was still staring.

"Go on! What, now you don't want me to kill them?"

"Rome..."

"What?" Rome stared back at her, in exasperation, arms wide. Now she was pointing. Behind him. At the cage.

"Crap," he said.

"Uh-huh," she nodded.

Rome sighed, knowing what was coming. Full moon. Were-gerbils? Really? It was a kind of Murphy's Law of Freaky: whatever weird things could happen to them, would.

"They're, um...they've changed into big huge monsters, right?"

She nodded again, and Rome shared the nod. They were both nodding, like a pair of bobble-heads, nodding at the unfortunate truth of their truly frakked-up lives, and presently Rome heard, behind him, the sounds of the cage snapping apart, and growling and slavering behind him. No one moved for a long time. Maybe if he just didn't turn around, it wouldn't be real.

Yeah, right.

Lenna starred at the were-gerbils he mouth open her eye wide in shock. She was pale and shaking. For a moment she closed her eyes hoping when she opened them they would be gone or normal again. But as she opened her eyes they were still behind Rome. Breathing became difficult, and she just reacted and didn’t think. Even though she didn’t like guns she still had some things in her bag, just in case her friends needed help. She grabbed the magazine with the silver bullets and through it to Rome.

“You just have four shots.” She mumbled and dodged behind the hood of the Ferrari. Hoping Rome would shoot the beasts and they could move on. There was something she needed to talk of her chest. She was covering her ears so she wouldn’t hear him shooting this time, no matter he was using a suppressor or not.

I hate this day.

There was a sequence in Equilibrium like this. Okay, there were lots of scenes in Equilibrium like this, with the awesome gun-kata thing, but what he was referring to specifically was the scene where the magazines fall out and he slams in two new ones in one smooth movement, like a badass. Rome didn't have two guns, but he did manage a fluid motion, catching the mag she tossed him, releasing the one he had loaded, and reloading in less than a second.

That was about where his badassitude ended, however.

The first shot went wild as he turned to face the monsters, because, yeah, they were freaky-looking--about four feet high, half gerbil, half wolf-thing, half, like, hobbit--but he was pretty sure he had had one lead round chambered, so it was okay.

The first silver bullet struck gold, as it were, killing the creature instantly. The second bullet missed, and Rome swore loudly.

The still-living creature, furious at the death of its mate, leapt forward, and latched onto Rome's gun-arm. "Ahh!" he cried, as the thing's claws rent his bicep, but pulled his silver knife out of his jeans and finished the thing off.

As the creature dropped to the ground, Rome quickly clasped a hand to his arm to staunch the flow of blood: it didn't seem to bad, but it was bleeding a lot. All in a day's work. "Lennie!" He looked around, but she was nowhere to be seen. "Lennie?!" Now he was worried. "Elenna, you okay? Where are you?"

"Here," said a small voice said. She was hiding behind the car.

"Chica? You okay?" He knelt beside her.

"Yeah, I--Rome!" she shrieked, as she caught sight of his bloody arm. "You're bleeding!" She looked like she was about to faint, but not at the blood.

"Uh. Yeah, it's not bad, though, you wanna grab the first aid kit?"

"Did it...bite you?" she asked. She was a little too worried about that.

"Noooo?" he said, at first confused, a bit worried, like, What did it matter if it bit or scratched me? before, Oh, Duh! Were-gerbil! He grabbed her arm to confirm his seriousness: "No, chica, I'm fine, it's just a scratch, like, with its claws. Hand me the first aid kit and go get us a room. I'll patch up and get these corpses torched, you go get us that room, huh? I won't even make you buy me dinner or nothing." He winked.

Lenna walked on wobbly legs to the reception booked a room and went back to the waiting Rome. Even after all those minutes to calm down she was still pale and shaken up. The were-gerbils were burning at the side of the parking lot.

“We got the farthest room from everything.”

She took their bags and walked to the room, knowing Rome would follow her. She picked as usual the bed next to the bathroom away from the front door.

“How is your arm?” She still sounded worried. “I can patch it up if you want.”

“Nah I’m good.”

Lenna was just half listening to him, took over and started wrapping up his arm anyway. He didn’t really complain. She was looking straight at his arm, wondering how to start what she wanted to say.

“I hate were-things.” Lenna sighed. She didn’t dare looking at him so she spoke to the wall behind him. “Rome there is something I know and I need to talk o someone about it, but you have to promise me to listen and not do anything stupid.” She quickly gazed up at him with fearful eyes.

He pulled her down next him, a smile playing around his mouth. He seemed not sure to be worried or laugh. “You are not pregnant, are you?”

His question confused her. She looked up and saw him smiling at her. It made her wonder how he can be annoying and a pain in the ass and other times he is this awesome big brother. A small smile appeared on her face when she shook her head. “No I’m not. But that’s really good to know that you have my back no matter what.”

This time she got gently punched in the stomach by him. “Always, chica.”

“I know.” She mumbled. She sighed. “It’s not that. Just hear me out.”

Lenna brushed her hair out of her face and looked up, his gun was out of his reach and she had still the car keys in her pocket.

“We have a little problem. You know I told you I’m good hunting demons? Well yes I am but there is another thing I’m great in hunting, or more finding.” Lenna fell silent before she whispered. “Werewolves." She was shaking. "There a lot of signs even when they are not turned. And I know we found one. He is pretty good in covering it, but he is one. The first time I thought was when we had the usual hunter greeting and he was touching my silver rosary, an animalistic shimmer was in his eyes. The same time when we came to the Safehouse and the silver shot glass of Tex.…. Rome, Caleb is a… werewolf.”

Lenna felt horrible telling Rome about someone else’s secret but Caleb wasn’t around to talk to him and she really needed to have someone to share this with, it terrified her.

Rome stood up, wrenching his arm free, half-bandaged, from her ministrations. His face grew warm with rage, even as his skin grew cold and his stomach dropped.

Caleb Daly? A werewolf? A man he trusted--scratch that--had trusted? Caleb, whom Tex knew the longest and trusted the most? A guy who had keys to the Safehouse? A guy who could be there at this very moment--with Georgie, with Aly, with Morrigan, with Tex, with Dan or Lily or the Padre--just waiting to wig out and kill someone?

"What?!"

"Rome, I told you not to freak out, sit down." She tried to grab his arm again, but he snatched it back.

"Not freak out? What do you want me to do, write a poem about how I feel?" Rome searched around for his phone: "I've got to call Tex, and warn her!"

"No!" Elenna swept up his phone from where it lay on the nightstand and held it tightly. "Stop, Rome, just think about this!"

"No, you think about this!"

Rome couldn't say he was surprised. I mean, there had to be a better reason that Caleb was a werewolf hunter than he simply studied hard in How To Kill Werewolves 101 in The School of Hard Knocks. But the hypocrisy was mind-blowing, was what really pissed Rome off.

His eyes narrowed and he got into Elenna's face. "Why are you even protecting him? Do you know what he said, Lenna? Do you want to know what he asked me to do?"

For the first time, she looked a bit nervous. "No..."

"He told me to kill you. When we were looking for that werewolf, for Nick, back in Chesterton. He said he that if you had to be stopped, that you would want it to be me who made the shot! And that if I didn't, he was going to! Some werewolf hunter, willing to kill an innocent person to cover his own ass!"

Lenna mouth popped open and for several moments she just stared at him. Her mouth was dry and she felt as if her heart had stopped, no not just her heart she felt as if her entire body was shut down or maybe it turned into stone. Finally after a long time she found her voice again, but it wasn’t more than a whisper.

“He what?”

“He told me to kill you.” Lenna covered her ears closed her eyes and thought about this.

Me a werewolf?

“But why?” She didn’t expect him to answer, so she just skipped the thought of her being a werewolf and the burden she would have been for Rome. Having to kill someone you are care no matter if it was to save this person was a weight on your shoulder that never left you, at least not her. “I think they are safe. I think he locks himself up or even has help. I’m not sure who knows about him. I don’t remember very well what happened in Chestertown but, I know they just when they sleep so as long he doesn’t sleep they are safe and they are hunters. They can watch their back unless the people in this town. I’m sorry maybe I shouldn’t have told you. I just don’t know what to do. The last time I met one so close, he meant the world to me and… you know how that ended. I don’t want anyone to get hurt or worse.”

Lenna had dropped his phone bed and went back to wrapping up his arm, not just to keep him close to stop him from doing something hasty but also because her ghosts from the past were haunting her.

“I’m not one of them. I promise.”

"Not one of--who--what? What are you even talking about?"

"I'm not a werewolf," she insisted, sadly.

"I know you're not, moron, we're not talking about you. We're talking about that two-faced team-killing-f*cktard Caleb! God, I can't believe you didn't tell me this before!"

"Because I knew you'd react this way!" Elenna pouted and folded her arms.

"You've put a lot of people in danger, chica, by staying quiet about this. If he lied about this, no telling what else he's lied about. I'm gonna tear his friggen lungs out before I shoot him in the heart! Twice!"

"Rome!" Elenna looked at him, appalled.

"Elenna!" Rome shot back, appalled that she wasn't appalled.

"Rome, he hasn't killed anyone!"

"Yeah, that's just lucky. You know I haven't seen Lily around for a while, maybe he ate her!"

"Rome, stop it! That's not funny!"

"And I ain't laughing!"

"Aren't you...Rome, he's our friend! I know you guys don't always agree, and, okay, yes, maybe this is really the only way, but don't you at least feel bad about it? Jesus, Rome, he's still a person, you know, sort of! What if it was me?" she challenged.

Rome opened his mouth to yell again, but her question stopped him.

And stumped him. Okay, he'd already blatantly proved he was a p*ssy when it came to even the thought of icing Elenna, no matter the circumstances. But that wasn't the point. She wasn't the menace to society, Caleb was. Why was he even entertaining the idea?

She's a witch.

As much as she liked to deny it, you know, there were those witch-hunters back in...God, wherever, whenever, and they seemed to know their stuff and they thought she was--and they had--and Rome had killed them instead. Killed humans, other hunters, people who were supposed to be on their side, just for doing what they thought was a service to the world.

Rome looked away from Elenna. The sick feeling in his stomach grew worse.

Heck, when you got right down to it, the whole psychic thing? Wasn't exactly squeaky-clean, either, right? Didn't help him trying to work the "normal" angle.

Where did you draw the line?

“Now you see what I mean. Bobby taught me that the world is just black and white. When it’s not human you kill it end of question. But there are people in the world that clearly have abilities that are not human. How do we decide who’s worth living and who has to die? Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Rome? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends.”

She sighed and sat back down on the bed.

“The world is not black and white, there a lots of grey shades and even some color. I’m sorry I said anything earlier, I truly hoped to be wrong. But I’m not.”

She pulled her knees up and hugged them. “I don’t want any one of us to die. Can’t we try to talk to him it looks like he knows how dangerous he is, we could lock him up at full moon. I built once a supernatural panic room I can built a werewolf prison. We can’t just sign his death sentence, I can’t do this. Please Romeo.”

Lenna looked with tears at Rome, begging him to fix this. He was as her big brother could fix this and her. But this time it was different. Rome looked mad, turned around, mumbled something about fresh air and a walk and left the motel room. It was the second time Lenna was speechless this evening. She considered following him, but she didn't know what to say anymore. She took a quick shower left all electronic devices in their bags, took her book and hid in the corner between the two beds. Hoping he would come back and not leave her here.

"Geez being the one left behind sucks big times!"

It was dark and Lenna started to feel uncomfortable alone in the motel.

The walk helped.

Okay, no, it didn't. Not really. Nothing could "help" a situation like this. Well, he could think of a few things, but he didn't like thinking of those things. It was also a plain and simple fact that Rome just didn't like thinking.

Which was why, when he returned to the motel just under an hour later, he was carrying a large brown paper bag.

Elenna leapt up from where she had crouched in the corner: she looked like she hadn't expected him to come back, or as if he were a ghost.

"Rome!" she said.

"Paris!" he replied, and, when she didn't get it, "London!"

The tease worked: she forgot her fear from before and put a hand on her hip and stuck her tongue out at him. Before she could ask where he had been, he set the bag on the table, and, "Look what I brought," he said.

The convenience store run had been interesting, as, for the first time in the history of his life, Rome had just stared at the wall of alcohols with absolutely zero clue as to what to purchase.

This was not a celebration, so wines and champagnes were out.

Nor was this a party, so tequila and vodka (even the cheap ones) were not an option.

He could think of few things he wanted less than to relax right now, so no beer, either.

He contemplated gin, for some time, but gin was a comfort drink, and a good portion of him just wanted to suffer.

And he really just wanted to get totally forget-my-name-shlammered, so the top-shelf sippin' whiskey or 18 year old scotch whisky was not in his future, either, because puking that stuff up was a cardinal sin.

So what he pulled out of the brown paper bag at the cheap, creepy-ass motel was a 900-mls-on-sale-for-$13.99, rot-gut, make-you-go-blind whiskey. He drank it out of a large, plastic Big Gulp cup which had housed who knew how many refills of Rockstar energy drinks, while Elenna used the paper cup that came wrapped in plastic by the motel's sink. Because the point wasn't to enjoy this.

He poured Lenna a double and himself a triple, not that he could really gauge properly in these things.

"Bottom's up."

For a moment Lenna wanted to ask him if this was his solution for the problem, but to be honest it was just this once good enough for her. Just to forget the problem. So she drank the pretty full cup at once.

“Urgh that tastes gross.” She coughed.

Rome refilled her cup. “It’s not supposed to taste good.”

Lenna tried to think of something to say but there nothing else she could say. Even though none of them said it out loud, but they both knew that there is only one way out and they both didn’t liked this way. The night went on and the liquor kept running.

Lenna woke up with a major headache, she wasn’t sure but she felt as if the room was still spinning. She climbed out of bed and felt heavy and clumsy somehow as if her limbs weren’t the way they were supposed to be. She went in the bathroom, scratching her stomach.

Whoa I’m not wearing a shirt? What the hell happened last night?

She splashed some cold water in her face, but when she pulled the towel away and looked in the mirror she was greeted by a face she didn’t expect to see.

“What the hell?” Lenna leaned closer to the mirror but the face stayed the same, she still looked a lot like Rome. She looked down at herself and realized why she is not wearing a shirt or why she felt heavy, or why she felt as if her limbs were not hers, because… it all wasn’t hers.

“Nononononono. Rome!” She shouted and busted back in the bedroom, nearly running the door in, it was hanging a little lopsided in the hinge. “Whoa Rome wake up. We are having a huge problem.”

It felt really weird to have Rome's deep voice but actually manage to let it sound squeaky.

Rome was jolted painfully out of a dreamless stupor as someone shouted at him. Someone whose voice sounded familiar, yet awfully...weird. He'd thought he'd gone to bed with Elenna--not in that way--and hearing what might have been a male voice in a stupidly whiny falsetto was not gelling with what he remembered about last night.

Not that he remembered a lot about last night...Caleb's a werewolf...and an excessive amount of whiskey...and she might have gotten him to watch some Amanda Bynes movie while he was inebriated, but he'd try to forget that part especially.

A large hand was shaking him awake, and the voice went on shrieking. It was a stupid voice, God, and it was boring into his skull, giving him a headache. Definitely a male voice, but whoever it was seriously needed to grow a set. Maybe Elenna had hired a male stripper?

Rome opened his eyes. Then he closed them again, because what he saw wasn't right.

He tried again.

Were there mirrors on the ceiling of this hotel?

Did he have an identical twin his parents hadn't told him about?

The guy who looked like him was clearly distraught. The more Rome looked at him, the more he felt distraught. This guy didn't just look like him--he looked exactly like him!

Shapeshifter? Doppleganger? Crap, where was Elenna? Was she okay?

Rome shot awake, sitting up and shoving the thing back--or trying to, anyway, maybe the booze had gone to his head because it didn't work, and rolled across the ground for his gun. It felt weird in his hands, but he slammed a silver mag home and trained it on the creature.

...Who screamed and ducked, covering its head.

That was odd.

"It's me, Rome! It's Elenna!"

Elenna? Rome's mouth opened slightly, and he was about to protest until he caught a reflection of himself in the TV.

"Holy sh*t!" he yelled, practically jumping out of his skin. (Or maybe: jumping out of her skin?) He ignored the thing that looked like him, dropped the gun and rushed to the bathroom mirror, touching himself to see if this was real.

Oh, yeah. These were definitely real.

Lenna stood in the bathroom door, which she basically filled out.

Geez Rome is friggen huge.

Lenna didn’t care for once that Rome went in the bathroom she didn’t had anything she hadn’t see, to be exact she had seen this body uncountable times and everything he could do in a bathroom.

“Whoa hands of Mister. Just looking no touching this is a serious stupid joke.” She moaned and for the first time sounded not like Mickey Mouse. “My head is killing me.”

She closed her eyes. “Stop touching my body!” She whispered and went back to the beds on which she more collapse than sat down. She tried to remember anything from last night but the event’s stopped after Rome came back with a bottle of Whiskey.

Doesn’t Rome always have headaches after he had his visions? No, this can’t be.

Thinking made her head just hurt more, a new experience for her. Drinking some water she felt a bit better. “Dude I swear if you now stop touch my boobs I gonna tie you up until I found out how to get us right again. And don’t you dare taking of any clothes! Great and I have to pee. This is a friggin nightmare. The djinn should have done this with us. Random swap our souls into another body. I bet we would have never got out of her world.”

She heard herself laugh, or you know her body laughed with the wrong guy inside.

This sounds rather dirty.

Lenna felt awkward just wearing sweatpants so she found one of her shirts when she just realized Rome’s huge frame would never fit in it. She sighed. “Rome we have to figure this out, I’m not sure I can handle being a guy.”

Seeing his face look so pathetic was....pathetic. Those pleading puppy-dog eyes just were not hot on him. And it took Rome immediately out of himself (quite literally, actually, in some sick and twisted way) and turned his focus to Elenna.

"Hey. Hey, chica...er, Lenna, come here--" he brought her in for a hug, which was a little bit awkward logistically, because these shrimpy arms were too shrimpy, and he was lucky she was sitting down on the bed when he tried this, because otherwise it would have been impossible, but he worked it out somehow and moved on: "We'll figure out what happened here and fix it, okay? No sweat."

She (he?) was beginning to lose it. And Rome knew he wasn't a pretty crier. "But how?" she wailed, burying her face in his chest. His nice new soft pillowy chest. With boobs. Okay, so they weren't big boobs, but he couldn't actually wait to get alone so he could--

Focus, Rome.

"Well, we have to just go with it, okay? First off, right? I mean, it'll take some getting used to, yeah, but seeing us fall apart is exactly what the bad guy wants! And, I mean, think about it: we must be getting really closed to him to have him so scared that he'd do this to us, am I right?"

A sniffle. "Yeah, guess so."

"Okay. So we get dressed--yes, get dressed, it's nothing we've never seen before, don't be such a prude--and get out there and keep hunting this...whatever it is. Let's think about what it could be," he said animatedly, by way of distraction: she always loved the research bit.

"I don't know!" she said forlornly. Okay, this was not Elenna talking. Maybe she was really hungover?

"Okay, okay, well, let's think about it. There was that guy from my vision, right: could he be a witch who likes candy? This could be a spell, right? Some sort of curse? Or, hey--what was that German thing you were telling me about? Till Eulenspiegel?"

Lenna’s hand moved to her face as if she wanted to push her hair out of it but all she did was touch her ear.

“Okay maybe getting dressed isn’t such a bad idea.” She looked concerned at him. “Getting dressed doesn’t include touching yourself, so hands of!”

She pushed his arms away. “Now I know why normally you are the one hugging me, it’s pathetic if I do it or you know us in the right bodies.” A small smile appeared on her face. She pulled a wrapped present out of her bag. I bought this for you when I was playing hide and seek, but I guess now I can unpack it myself.”

“You got me a present?” She started laughing, Rome managed to look like she did when he told her he got her a book or she can do the research.

“You know as twisted this is, there is one thing I’m glad about. You are having my body so I know nothing bad will happen to it. All I have to do now is keep your body safe, you haven’t slept with any girls here in town have you?”

“I was the whole time with you.”

“Good just checking.”

Lenna took the new shirt and the new boxer shorts out of its wrapping. The shirt was easily put on, she felt better to be more dressed. Taking a deep breath she got changed into the fresh underwear. He couldn’t see it but she had closed her eyes when she took off the pants.

“I start to get a hang of this shopping it fits perfectly.” Lenna turned around and presented him the present she got for him and now for herself.

Lenna took slowly her laptop out of its bag, just in case it would turn into a robot again. “Here Till Eulenspiegel, was a trickster. It is more a myth, I don’t think we deal with him. But Bobby told me once tricksters are like kids that love to play pranks and eat sweets and the crazier the prank the better. But here read yourself.” Lenna was amazed she didn’t need to do her tricks to read the screen.

“Hey Rome, I was wondering if this is because you had a lot more to drink than I had or if the throbbing headache has another reason?” She watched him read the screen, for some reason it wasn’t that easy for her to concentrate and tell him each detail of the article.

Rome peered at the computer screen, but his eyes weren't adjusting yet, so he blinked back at Elenna.

"No, chica, I didn't even black out, much as I wish I had..." He swallowed thickly. "But, yeah, we need a hangover cure now, this friggen sucks." He went to the sink and turned on the col water, leaning over to stick his head under the spigot--but his legs were too short, or else his torso was, and anyway he couldn't quite reach and the pressure against his gut didn't help. "Oh, screw it." He grabbed a nearby plastic cup and stood there for a long minute drinking as much water as he could before returning with a glass for Elenna. "Here you go, chica, drink up. I dunno, seems like I just kinda always have headaches anymore. Maybe you could take something for it? Coffee will probably help, so let's get going to breakfast. But here let me just...read this...first..."

Rome peered at the screen again. It was still blurry. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried again.

"Okay, chica, are you blind or what?"

Elenna looked embarassed. "Um."

"Um, what? No secrets now, Lennie, if you finally made yourself go blind reading all the time I should know..."

"No! I just--I always had--I have reading glasses."

"What?" Rome stood up. "But you never wear them!"

"Yeah...they look..."

Rome didn't let her finish. "I don't care if they look like BCGs, chica, you find them and give them to me. Meanwhile, I'm gonna get changed." Rome made a grab for his duffle, stopped, put it back, and grabbed hers instead, taking it to the bathroom.

He sat on the floor of the bathroom rummaging through the clothes for some time. Okay, underwear was easy, but did she really need ones that said "hottie" on the ass? Then he rummaged some more. He was too confused to really be turned on by this anymore.

"My God, do you have any not ugly clothes?" he shouted through the closed door. He found a bra, held it up triumphantly.

He paused. Rome knew all about getting these off, but putting them on....

"Um. Lenna! Help!"

Elenna burst through the door, stopped, closed her eyes, and shut the door again quickly. "Jesus, Rome, put some clothes on me! Do I need to dress you?"

"Oh, relax! And help me put this on!" he held up the bra and waved it in her direction. I can't get it snapped when it's...behind...do I have to wear one?"

"Yes," she practically snarled, snapping it.

"Ow! This thing pinches!"

"Well! Adjust!"

"So now I have your permission to touch?"

Elenna looked overwhelmed again, so he quickly gave it up:

"Okay, okay, whatever, it's fine, never mind. I'm just gonna be on Georgie's side next time she takes you shopping." Rome quickly cobbled together what he thought was a decent outfit under her watchful eye.

"Okay, look, Rome: no. You look like a pimp dressed you! You're not even wearing pants!"

"What? Shorts? These aren't shorts?"

"Noooo, Rome, those are pajamas! And I can see your--my bra!"

"Fine. I'll wear this one. But it's ugly."

"You're ugly," she snapped. Then, "Wait..."

"And, okay, what do you do with all this hair?"

"Rome, I'm starting to worry that you might make a better girl than me."

"I don't want it in my way all day, giving me crap! Put it in one of those--um--thingies or I'll cut it all off!"

"Don't you dare. You mean a ponytail?"

"Yeah."

"Use the hairtie on your wrist."

"Huh? Oh, I just thought that was an ugly bracelet."

Lenna rolled her eyes. “Come here. I was never good in this but let me see what I can do.” She took the brush and the hairtie brushed all the hair back in a ponytail which wasn’t pretty but the messy look was totally in right now. “There we go, chica.” She grinned. “I start to see this as the greatest thing that happened lately. It is like a field trip and I can see the world through the eyes of a guy, btw a guy with great working eyes.”

She went back in the bedroom and left him alone. “Hey did you brush your teeth? I like that my body has great teeth, so brush them!”

She couldn’t avoid take a closer look in the mirror, Rome had for sure a hot body. “Hurry up I’m starving, hopefully some food and coffee will help against this headache. You really have to do something about it.”

“Like what meditate?” Rome was standing in perfect Rome-pose in the bathroom door, it was really weird to see it in her body.

“Okay maybe this is awesome and twisted. Let’s just promise not to do anything stupid while we are in the wrong bodies okay?” She picked up Rome’s jacket from the chair, but got surprised by how heavy it was. She dropped it and the metallic clang let her remember why they change the hotels so quickly last night. Carefully she picked up the jacket and his Desert Eagle. “It is smaller, somehow.” Her hand was trembling but at least she didn’t freaked (yet) out she was just standing in the middle of the room with his gun in her hand.

"'Smaller somehow'?" Rome repeated dumbly. "Uh. Yeah, chica, news flash: you're in my normal-sized body now." He took the Desert Eagle from her, tested it in his hands. "Yeah, you know what, screw it, no wonder you hated playing with this one, your tiny hands can't even hold it! I'm going out to the car to get my Tanfoglio."

Walking in a skirt was weird. Part of Rome felt guilty, like he shouldn't be seen, and he scanned the area outside first to make sure no one was looking: but that was ridiculous, so he strode out. Another part of him felt naked as the crisp morning air blew around his legs, so he rummaged around in the trunk until he found some boots Elenna never wore.

Yet another part of him, he decided, felt really friggen hot.

"Whoa!" Came a shout from the door. "Rome! Do not bend over like that when you're wearing that!"

Oops. "I was just putting on the boots?" he replied, in his defense. "And I'm wearing cute panties I want everyone to see," he winked as she approached and glowered down at him.

And, man, okay, no fair. Since when was it okay to combine Elenna's capacity for rage with his big, strong body?

"All right, all right, just kidding, Jesus," Rome said, backing down.

Elenna handed him a bag.

"What is that? I'm not carrying a purse!" Rome shrieked.

"Do you really want me to carry it?" Elenna didn't look like she wanted to screw around.

Rome considered the ruin of his image before he had a chance to crawl back inside that smoking hot meatsuit that was his own body--no wonder everyone wants to possess it!--and snatched the purse from her. "Fine," he grumbled. Okay, she kept her wallet in there, and some sort of girly chap-stick and, okay he didn't want to know what those were, but there was also a flask of holy water, a silver knife, and one of the wooden stakes from Jackson in here. Cool. That was cool. No one ever told him purses could be used to house non-girly things.

Rome paused.

He looked at the gun he was holding.

He looked at the purse.

"Two points!" he cried, slam-dunking the weapon into the now-crowded handbag. He zipped it up and flung it over his shoulder, feeling he looked awesome. "Why didn't you ever tell me these things were so amazing? Hell, I'm gonna start carrying one!"

"A purse?"

"No, like, a messenger bag. It's manly! Indiana Jones has one! And so does Jack Bauer!"

Elenna shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, whatever. Let's just go get breakfast."

"I'm driving!" Rome snatched the keys from her hand and ran around to the driver's side.

“I like Indiana Jones, I think he is the hottest archeologist I ever saw.” She giggled when she sat down next to Rome. Rome had to readjust the seat so he could actually reach the pedals, which just made Lenna more giggle. “It sucks being tiny, right?”

Rome didn’t say anything and just tried to find comfortable seat position so he could drive. They drove back into town, to the diner they saw earlier.

“You order breakfast and I go to the toilet. Okay?”

“No problem.” Rome grinned about the thought of Lenna going to toilet. Lenna ignored him, and went to the toilets. She didn’t think when she opened the door. She saw a couple of girls starring at her and then screaming. Lenna stumbled backwards realizing that she just went in the wrong restroom.

In the distance she heard Rome laugh, a part of her hoped he hadn’t seen her. Taking a deep breath she went in the right bathroom wondering if there are normal toilet cabins like in the ladies restroom. There were two but in both someone was in. She sighed again and went to the urinal. This was serious awkward. Peeing while other guys were standing next to her was just weird and wrong.

I wonder what guys do while they stand next to each other peeing. Do they look at each other?

Lenna didn’t realize that she did stare at one guy comparing the size of what she saw and what she was holding.

“Ey dude, watch where you are looking at.”

Lenna mumbled sorry, looked down at herself and finished her business. She washed her hands and basically ran back to Rome. She was blushing and a little out of breath.

Rome chuckled as he heard the screams from the direction of the bathroom. He was glad he hadn't remembered to remind her to walk into the right bathroom. What a rookie move. Hilarious.

Rome perused the menu as he waited for Lenna to get through. It was another hilarious image thinking of Lenna trying to navigate the men's bathroom (once she found it).

He didn't realize that the group of guys sitting at the bar were ogling him until they got downright vocal.

He looked up to find three greasy trucker slobs leering from the barstools of the diner. Ultra-grody douche-nozzles.

"Hey, what're you lookin' at, bub?" Rome snarled, forgetting until he spoke that he wasn't exactly in much of a position to substantiate any kind of threat, unless he wanted to rummage through a purse for his Tanfoglio.

"Just the wares on display," one of them grinned toothlessly.

Rome realized something with unfortunate suddenness.

Girls sat a certain very specific way, didn't they? I mean, not all the time, and not necessarily, and it depended on what they were wearing. But he was definitely wearing a stupidly short skirt. How could he forget? The vinyl seats were sticking to his legs, it was gross.

Rome snapped his legs shut, feeling himself blush--Romulus Remington, blush!--as he covered his face with the menu. Skirt: dumb idea.

A matronly-looking waitress came to his rescue. "Hey, Joey, Lopez, get outta here, leave the lady alone!" she snapped, sending the men back to their cold coffee.

"Sorry about them, hun, you doin' all right?"

"Um..." Rome peeked out from behind the menu.

Damn, this lady was smokin'! Especially in that dirty-old-broad kind of way, the orange-tanned-bleach-blonde-cougar-type Rome had a soft spot for. Her breasts were practically spilling out of a uniform she had probably gotten new ten years and three marriages ago. She smelled like cigarettes, and probably tasted like them, too.

Rome flashed her his signature smile before he realized what he was doing: "I am now," he replied silkily.

The lady only thought he was cute, luckily, and Rome remembered his predicament just in time.

"Uh. I mean, I'm just waiting for my frien--my sis--I mean--my brother to get out of the bathroom. Two coffees, two OJs, two cinnamon rolls, and, ahh, sh--he'll probably have the pancake special, um, over-easy, with bacon, and I'll go with the pig-in-a-poke special," he winked at her, but she missed it (probably luckily), "with two eggs, scrambled, and a side of hashbrowns."

"Sure thing, hun, be right out," the waitress said, as uninterested in him as she was in Joey at the bar. Damn it. This sucks.

When Elenna returned, Rome had never been so relieved in his life.

"Thank God, what were you doing in there? Those guys at the bar were staring at me."

"Rome, you like being stared at!" Lenna insisted, enjoying the moment.

"Not like that--well--maybe by chicks--and they weren't even hot--but--oh, shut up!" Rome stood up. "I'm gonna go to the can. I already ordered for us."

Rome was so mad and weirded out and confused and scared that he didn't notice he had walked into the men's restroom until, "Well, hello, there, pretty lady," greeted him there as some drunk dickhead started pissing on the floor when he turned to stare at Rome's rack.

The puking that came next was actually pretty long overdue, in the scheme of things.

As soon the waitress brought the coffee Lenna took a sip or more like half the cup burning her tongue, but it was worth it. Her head felt better and thinking became easier. And with that she figured something out. It was one thing for her to walk in the ladies restroom but Rome was now small and guys here were huge and evil and....

“Shit.” Lenna jumped up from the table and ran back to the restroom mumbling to the surprised looking waitress. “Forgot to wash my hands.” And pulled the door open of the gents restroom.

“Um…” It felt wrong to call Rome by his name while he was in her body, at least in public. “Girl, it’s the wrong restroom.” Lenna pulled Rome at his arm out of the wrong restroom. “Dude it is one think if I go in the wrong restroom but for you it can mean trouble. The guys here are not the type of guys you should be alone with. They are more the rough and mean type.” Lenna looked worried at him. “Are you okay? He didn’t do anything fishy?” Lenna looked at Rome from head to toe.

Rome did a double-take. Did she just ask him if he was okay? He could damn well handle himself!

...Well, maybe not so much anymore.

"I can take care of myself, Lennie," he grumbled and pushed around her to the women's restroom. Which was weird. It was kind of freakishly clean in here. Maybe being a chick wasn't so bad.

When he returned to the table, the Three Stooges at the bar were gone and the food had arrived, so the day was looking better already.

"Headache going away?" he asked, as Elenna chugged the coffee like it was lifewater.

She nodded, but her brow was still scrunched together.

"Okay, so this trickster guy, he does what, then? Plays pranks on people? What's his power level? I mean, honestly, he'd have to be close to god-like to pull this number on us, right? Or are we talking more powerful-warlock type of thing? Or, hell, is this a dream? We could be dealing with another djinni."

Lenna scratched her head with a rather dumb expression on her face. “No we are not.” She spoke slowly as if she had difficulties to find the right information in her brain. She moaned frustrated,
“Your brain works like a very old computer, you should get an upgrade for it.”

She giggled, a weird picture to see and hear Rome giggle.

“I’m pretty sure it is not a warlock or anything like this. It’s too powerful. And a trickster is simple said a god. They break the rules of the gods or nature, sometimes maliciously but usually, albeit unintentionally, with ultimately positive effects. Often, the breaking of rules takes the form of tricks or thievery. Tricksters can be cunning or foolish or both; they are often funny even when considered sacred or performing important cultural tasks. An example of this is the sacred Iktomi, whose role is to play tricks and games and by doing so raises awareness and acts as an equalizer. They are killed by a stake dipped in the blood of one of its victim. Very much like the siren...”

Lenna eyes were fixed on something outside, a hot car and... “I would totally sleep with her.” It took Lenna a moment to realize what she just said. “I mean... I like her car.”

"Haha, I knew it!" Rome cried gleefully, banging hard on the table. "All women are secretly lesbians! You can try to deny it, but now I know it's totally true!" He leaned back in his seat to check out the view. "Yeah, that is a nice one. Her wheels aren't bad, either."

"Who's the lesbian now, Rome?" Elenna frowned at him.

"Oh, man, do I wish! But you wouldn't want your body back by the time I got through with it, so..."

"Rome!"

"Okay, okay, sorry. So, trickster's a god, huh? Because it's not like we didn't just completely get lucky the last time we tangled with one of those sonsofbitches. Okay, we have to find some way to track it first, though, right? Before we go in, like, stakes blazing?"

Rome paused, holding his hand out in front of him and staring at it. Well, her hand. It was trembling, faintly.

"What's the deal here, chica? You get the shakes often?"

"What? No!"

"Well why do I?...I feel..." Rome looked at his coffee cup. It was empty. "How much coffee do you have? Like, on a regular basis?"

She wrinkled her brow. His brow. Whatever.

"I dunno, like, three cups a day?"

"But not at one sitting?" He wasn't even sure how much he'd actually had, but since it was him, and their waitress was pretty attentive (and not even checking him out, which was really starting to piss him off) and kept refilling, he had to guess the answer was "a lot more than three."

"Not usually..." Elenna answered slowly, then, "Oh!"

"'Oh' is right." Rome nodded, pushed the coffee cup back from him and took a drink of water instead. "Well, at least we now know why you've got my headaches worse than usual...."

Lenna leaned her head against the chair and closed her eyes, her head was getting worse every moment. “You will get a heart attack if you keep drinking coffee like water. So please don’t do that to my body, it’s smaller and I actually would like to have it back in one piece.”

She had to make sure Rome didn’t saw how really uncool his normal headaches were for her.

Getting the coffee as IV would be a really good idea.

Lenna looked around wondering how they would find a trickster that could look like anyone. She didn’t felt like eating anymore. “Hey let’s go to the library and have look if there are books that might help us.” Since she was in Rome’s body she had his wallet, she threw a couple bills on the table finished her coffee and went out to the car. She couldn’t bear the headache anymore and she fell on her knees, it felt as if her head explode into a flash of white.

The man who had pancakes with the huge amount of syrup was giggling. He was watching them in the reflection of the mirror behind the counter. Each time they forgot they were in the wrong body, he was bursting into laughter again, and not just because they were silly. He was laughing as if he knew about them.

Lenna realized Rome, or her own voice was shouting at her or maybe just talking, she wasn’t sure. She pushed him easily aside, emptying her stomach the wrong way.

Why was that so easy? Oh yes the body swap sh*t.

“This is seriously not funny at all! This sucks!” Lenna didn’t dare to look at Rome, she wasn’t even sure why. But she felt a little stupid being a baby about having a vision.

“Lenna, are you okay?” Rome said sounding worried.

“No, yes, whatever the pancake guy he has lots of syrup and he was watching us and damn my head hurts.” Lenna wasn’t even sure if she was still sitting on the floor or standing again. She felt confused, and wanted to be back in her own body.

Rome frowned and pulled Elenna tight against him. Either he was weak or his body was fat, though, because she almost crushed him under the weight.

"Welcome to my world, chica," he said, rubbing her back and offering a bottle of water from his purse-of-holding.

"Rome, that guy..."

"Relax, you're new at this, sometimes the visions don't--"

"Rome, stop it!" She shoved him, hard. "That guy, our guy, he's in there eating pancakes!"

"Well, dammit, Lenna, just sit still for a minute!" He insisted, standing up. "Stay here, I'll be right back." He pulled the Glock from his purse, flicked the safety off, and, barely concealing the handgun in the bag, he ran back inside the diner.