Episode 1: Licensed to Dress to Kill

Liam didn’t pay attention to John anymore. All of this in front of him was like a giant playground, and if there wouldn’t have been those men in lab coats who looked overly protective about their works, he would have already ran to every single object to touch it like a kid in a toy store. He could, however, not resist taking a closer look at the ray gun. The man next to him, who just scribbled something down on his clipboard, shot him a warning glance. As always, Liam ignored it and instead walked closer, even leaned forward.

“Young man!”, the guy in the lab coat said strictly.

Liam still made no effort to back away from the ray gun. He waited until the man continued writing on the clipboard, then slowly put out his hand.

“Don’t even think about it”, the man growled without looking up.

Liam sighed. This was unfair. He was surrounded by so many incredible gadgets and he wasn’t even allowed to touch them.

“Can I-“

“No.”

“Just-“

“No.”

“But if-“

“No.”

“Idiot.”

“Excuse me?” The man looked up.

Liam smiled nervously. “Nothing.”

After almost frying the child, Harcourt took a more careful examination around the room. It looked like an oversized toy box. Some of it seemed interesting, such as the car and its modifications, and the rifle that folded up into a hardback book. Other were just impractical. The chair with the spring loaded restraints was far too heavy to move anywhere convenient. As for the armour plated telephone box, Harcourt wasn’t even sure if they had telephones in New Zealand.

As his circuit around the room took him back to the car he could hear one of the technicians currently leaning in the boot, talking to John. He caught the end of the talk.

“…and there is no way anyone can get past this combination lock.” The next second the technician found his arm caught by the handle of Harcourt’s cane, and was pulled out of the boot. Harcourt took his place and observed the strong-box fitted in the bodywork of the boot.

“Stethoscope,” he ordered, as he flicked open a hidden compartment just below the handle of his cane and drew out several spindly lock picks. Another technician handed over a stethoscope, more out of surprise than actually following the command. Harcourt leaned in and with surgical precision inserted the lock picks one by one in the keyhole. He kept precise pressure on each with his hand, while his elbow held down the end of the stethoscope. With his left hand he began spinning the hidden dials back and forth. His concentration slowly changed to a smile, and then a grin as his work progressed. In a few short minutes, the hatch popped open.

Harcourt handed back the stethoscope back to the now glum looking technician.

“If you can make a smaller one of these, then I’ll be impressed.”

Lorelai ignored John’s comments about any underwear of hers. She was still carrying Charlie and left the boys play with their guns. She went to the table full of makeup and things she would use for disguises. “Anything new for me?” Lorelai sat Charlie on the floor; he looked at his girl before he ran around sniffing in corners and sitting down next to Liam.

“Yes we have a couple of things you will like permanent make-ups and wigs you won’t lose and I have a new collar for Charlie, one that has a locating device in case he gets lost you will find him again.”

Lorelai smiled, it was a nice turquoise collar. “Oh a dress?” Lorelai’s eyes started to sparkle, when she saw sexy short cocktail dress in the same color like the collar. “This is a dress that Charlie can find you. It has an ultra sound device included. And…”

“And it is pretty.” Lorelai never really cared how her gadgets worked all she wanted to know was where to press to use them. She put the dress on and half danced in front of John. “Isn’t it a pretty dress? What do you think?”

It was too late when she realized who she had just asked how she looks.

John had turned back to figuring out the new controls on his car while the Kid whined about being unable to play with the laser gun and Harcourt showed his expertise at thief cracking. What was the man doing before this?--stealing the Crown Jewels or something? He would have to ask some time.

Besides, he had more important things to think about right now--finding out how best to approach this new mission was. Candy and the Kid could take a more direct route to investigating the island and its new "benefactor," possibly posing as reporters or something. Pound and the Phantom seemed to be more at home out of the public eye, so they could have a look around the island by more discreet methods...

And he? Well, of course he would have to stay with Lory, just in case she got into trouble. He knew deep down that she could handle pretty much anything, but that didn't make him want to be around her any less. He could jump in and rescue her whether she wanted him to or not.

And he needed to make sure the Kid didn't try anything.

"What do you think?" Lory said, twirling the dress in front of him as he was looking for the caltrop-release button under the dash.

"Practically perfect in every way," he said, entirely on automatic, and blushed as soon as he did. He hadn't said *that* to her in a long time.

Thankfully, no one noticed his blush--he found the caltrop button, and the back of the car dropped a long bar laden with spikes onto the metal floor with a clang. A couple of the lab technicians glared at him, and he could blush all he liked as he said, "Sorry!"

He sank down in his seat as Lory twirled away. She *was* practically perfect in every way.

There better be some beautiful women in the South Pacific--otherwise this was going to be a very long mission.

Liam couldn’t help but stare at Lorelai as she showed off her new dress in front of John. Although he had been more than occupied by all these great gadgets, and most certainly loved playing around with them (which he couldn’t do, since the lab technicians watched him more than carefully), Lorelai still managed to distract him. Nothing ever distracted him when he laid eyes on any kind of apparatus or tool that he could use for experiments. Nothing. Except a woman. That woman, to be precise.

When Lorelai suddenly turned her back on John and looked right in Liam’s direction, he accidently bumped against the table behind him, with the result that the rifle that was dressed up as an umbrella was about to fall to the ground, but Dick reacted fast enough and caught it before it hit the floor.

“Jesus, kid, will you watch out!”, he growled, putting the rifle back on the table.

“Gentlemen”, John said, then quickly added “and our dear lady”, before he continued. “I have a plan how we will precede after we arrive. Pound and Harcourt, you two can try to check out the island without actually getting into the eye of the public while Lory and the Kid can move right amongst people …”

Score! Liam tried to hold back a grin. Alone with Lorelai…

“And I, of course, will accompany the two of you”, John continued, looking at Liam as if he just read the boy’s mind.

Damn!

He shot a side-glance at Dick who frowned. Liam was used to follow him wherever he went, it was actually weird to go somewhere without him, even if it was only for a short time. Well, at least he could finally prove to Dick that he was able to take care of himself. Well, that didn’t mean that he didn’t manage to get himself into trouble now and then, and he was very good in getting into trouble…

Dick's elation at being introduced to about twelve new and interesting ways to kill people was quickly dampened when he heard "the plan." He hardly trusted hubris to look after the Kid, and Harcourt, well, Dick wasn't very good at reading people, but he was pretty sure the gentleman didn't regard him very highly.

Anyway, he worked better alone.

But still, Her Majesty's Wishes and his File loomed quite large over his head. So he relieved the lab of a few accouterments he felt justified in needing--more justified, even, given his mandated partner--and stalked over to Hubris, grabbing him by the elbow.

"You better not be too busy chasing tail to look after that kid," he snarled: a warning, and a promise.

Lorelai grinned. “Wow Dick, you do show feelings, I’m glad you are not the stone I thought you are.”

She pulled Liam in her arm motherly. “I gonna watch the little one. He is perfectly safe with me and Charlie.” Charlie barked confirmative.

Dick didn’t look convinced. “Fine let Casanova watch the little one, while I do all the work.” Lor chirped, kissed Liam on the cheek, went back to her gadgets and let the boys figure out what to do. Her shining moment would be when John’s plan went wrong and they needed a new plan. Charlie seemed to like Liam a lot he was sitting on his foot waiting to be petted by him.

"He'll be perfectly safe, Pound," John said with a disarming smile. "Besides, I'm sure the young man doesn't need mum and dad looking over his shoulder every moment."

Lory shot him a look, but when she saw he was joking she just smiled and shook her head.

"Well, I believe that's everything. I'll see that a boat is hired to take us three aboard."

"Here, what about us?" Pound demanded.

John threw up his hands. "I assure you, I am the last person to ask about a cloak and dagger affair. I completely trust yours and the Phantom's methods."

He found himself somewhat regretting that statement the next morning, when he discovered that Pound and the Phantom had already gone. Ah, well. He was sure that they could probably handle the situation, and not kill each other in the process.

Yes. Definitely probably.

Lorelai was already on deck waiting for Liam and John. It was a nice sunny day her brown hair was now blond, and she looked sweet and innocent how was sitting on one of her suitcases enjoying the sun. Charlie was playing with an old tennis ball when he dropped it and started barking, a happy barking.

“Good morning Fuechschen. John will be here any minute and I already see the boat on its way to take us aboard. Sit down and enjoy the sun while we wait.”

Lorelai tapped on her big suitcases.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Charlie told me.” Lorelai giggled, her eyes still closed and the face in the sun.

“Oh okay. You have blond hair now?”

“Blond, brown, red any color you like. Don’t get used to anything you see. It can be changed faster than you think.”

Liam looked interested at Lorelai.

“Good morning Lory, you look lovely as always. Good morning Liam. Are you ready to go the boat is here?” John said, but Lorelai thought she heard the soft undertone in it.

“Good morning John.” Lorelai nearly smiled at him. It was nearly funny home much the air between the two was vibrating.

“Let’s go aboard, we’ve got work to do. Boys you better help me with the luggage.” She looked over her shoulder and grinned playful at them.

Of course Liam had noticed that strange vibe between Lorelai and John. Usually he didn’t notice stuff like that, but since he was so fixed on that one woman he noticed every single detail. Liam grabbed as many of her suitcases as he could carry and got on board, followed by Charlie who seemed to really like him. John took the remaining luggage and shot Lorelai a charming smile.

“I see, your way of packing hasn’t changed…”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” She giggled, then turned to Liam who breathed heavily after he put her countless suitcases down. “Thank you, Fuechschen.”

“Anytime.” He looked at her quickly. The blonde hair suited her nicely, but so did the dark. He liked her either way. She could dye her hair pink and she would still look absolutely perfect.
Liam sighed and watched the boat leaving the harbour. He didn’t want to admit it but he felt bad going somewhere without Dick.
That was pathetic. He was pathetic. Was he really that dedicated to him? Well, if that was the case, there was no way he would show it to the others.

He looked in the direction of Lorelai and John who (he hated to admit it) looked really nice together. Shamelessly perfect, actually. But Liam tried to hide his little sign of jealousy, turned to them and grinned.
“We should try not to look suspicious when we’re on our mission. Do I look like a tourist?

"I say, this is most undignified!" Harcourt complained, or, rather, Pound assumed Harcourt complained, in between bubbles.

An early morning scuba run was just the trick for catching the enemy unawares. Swimming was slow going between the two of them, what with the gimpy thief and Pound laden down as he was every conceivable waterproof weapon--and even some that were not waterproof but were kept safe in plastic bags--bloated as he was by extra baggage he hoped he wouldn't be mistaken for a blubbery whale by a passing shark--but no mishaps occured and eventually they reached the shore.

They strode casually past the gaggle of penguins--there were no humans on this beach, certainly not this early in the morning--toward a rock outcropping where, in the sight of hermit crabs and anemones, they zipped out of their scuba gear.

Was Harcourt wearing a suit under his scuba gear?

“Is something the matter?” Harcourt asked Dick who was looking at him perplexed. The only answer was a grunt. He gave a minuscule shrug and opened the waterproof bag he had taken. From it he pulled out his hat and cane. He swung the cane around nonchalantly before hooking it over his arm.

“Well, shall we proceed, it looks like a lovely morning for a stroll?” As the began moving, Harcourt walking, Dick darting from cover to cover, some of the penguins waddled over, curious at the arrival of the newcomers. With ungainly mentions, Harcourt tried to avoid the birds from scuffing his shoes, then found himself being yanked down behind a rock by Dick.

“What’s the game. That’s hardly proper behaviour!”

“Stop moaning,” hissed Dick, “and keep out of sight.”

“Of what? The penguins? There’s nothing else out there.”

“Yes, the penguins.” Harcourt looked at Dick like he was mad. Dick just pointed out a single bird. “That one. That’s no penguin.”

Following where his arm was pointed Harcourt started. Dick was right, that wasn’t a penguin. Penguins weren’t metal.

Dick had his favorite MP5A3 Assault Rifle constructed and loaded in less than a minute.

"What are you doing?" Harcourt hissed.

"Investigating." Dick narrowed his eyes, lining up the shot.

"I hardly believe that's the proper way to--"

Pfft! A silencer was a beautiful thing.

The penguin exploded with a clang and a spark. It's fellows quacked and scattered, leaving the area empty.

"What the hell did you do that for, man? Good God!"

"It might have been a security device. A camera. Laser beams or something."

"And it might also have been a lawn ornament!"

"Yeah, well. Also needed to make sure the MP5 was still operational."

Harcourt looked as if he didn't believe a thing a word he'd said. So while he sat there stunned for a moment, Dick trotted over to sift through the damage. "Just as I thought."

"I lack your morbid curiosity in forensics, sir," Harcourt snapped, stepping up behind him and rooting around in the wreckage with his cane. "What precisely is just as you thought?"

"It's a surveillance unit. Controlled from underground."

"Yes...and?" Harcourt wondered impatiently, but, to his credit, he seemed to have figured it out almost as he said it.

"We're standing right on top of Dr. Bob's base."

The boat ride to shore didn't take too long, and they arrived to a multitude of people crowding the beach. Most of them were leaving the island, apparently in a hurry and not very happy about it.

As they waited for John's Aston to be ferried across, they were approached by two thick-set men.

"G'day, mates," one of them said. He didn't look Australian, but he appeared all too willing to pretend to be so. "Lost your way, have you?"

"Not at all, Mr…?"

"Wellingood. Saul Wellingood," the man said. "This here's Luigi Bord. You'll have to send your car back--we aren't allowing tourists on this island right now. "He glared at them, especially at the Kid. "This is a federally restricted area specifically for--"

"An avian reserve, yes. We're researchers from Cambridge. I'm Dr. Luke A. Boyd, curator of the British museum." He indicated Candy and the Kid. "These are my graduate students."

"You research with an Aston?"

"We *are* from Cambridge."

Mr. Wellingood scowled. "Researchers or no, Mr. Boyd, I'll need to see your--"

"Papers?" Lory held them out. "I do hope there won't be any problem." John coolly hid his surprise as she pulled her shirt down an inch to reveal a bit more cleavage. "And we do not plan on being here very long."

"Oh, really?" Wellingood didn't even glance at the papers. "Well, in that case, I can't imagine Dr. Bob would mind."

"Great!" John grinned as his Aston was driven onto the pavement in front of them. "Wouldn't happen to know where we might get a bite to eat before we conduct our research? I'm feeling a bit peckish."

“So, Dr. Boyd”, Lorelai said as they got into John’s car to find a place to eat. “Nice little story…researchers from Cambridge, hm?”

“What?” He grinned. “They believed us.”

“Yes, after I worked my magic. And I highly doubt they believed you. I look hardly like a graduate student from Cambridge, and Liam barely passes as high school student. ” She looked over her shoulder. “Sorry, Fuechschen.”

“That’s okay.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Man, I’m so hungry I could eat a penguin!”

“I think the national speciality here is kangaroo”, John said.

“No thanks, I think I’ll stick to the penguin… That reminds me, did you know that as soon as penguin chicks lay their eggs, they look for food while the male penguin has to watch the nest? It can take up to two weeks until the penguin chick returns…pretty harsh. Poor guy is completely left alone with the baby. “

Lorelai laughed. “As if that is going to work out…”

“Woah!” Liam pressed his face against the glass when he spotted a couple of very attractive women in bikinis. “I thought this island is full of dull penguins. This is so much better!”

“Hey!” John shot him a warning glance. “Don’t leave spots on the window. I’m very protective when it comes to my car.”

Lorelai giggled. “He is really. I could tell you stories that would make you blush to your ears.” She grinned mischievously at John.

“When I am a grad student maybe I should wear shorter skirts to get better marks.”

Liam’s head turned around suddenly, away from the girls on the beach and to Lorelai even though he was blushing, but he still hoped to see Lorelai in a shorter skirt.

“After the next corner is a Café, said at least the street sign maybe we get a penguin there for you Fuechschen or you can say hi to the beach babes.”

Charlie, who was sitting on Lorelai’s lap, starting growling each time John came closer to Lorelai.

“Over there is the Café let’s get something to eat and see if the locals like to talk.”

John drove on the parking lot, another growler from Charlie. Lorelai grinned and was proud of her perfect trained partner.

“Since you are the professor John you are the one with the expenses account, so you are paying right?”

John found himself shut out by the Kid as he leapt over and opened the door for Lory, but he tried to ignore it. The cafe was one of those quaint, outdoor types, and he chose a table in the shade. After he got them settled he had a look around the cafe and talked to a few locals at the bar while Lory flirted with the waiter, the Kid blushing all the time. Unfortunately, the locals didn't know much--those he talked to seemed to know even less about the situation than he did.

He wandered back to the table a little while later with only more bad news.

"I'm afraid we're being watched."

"What? Where?" the Kid said, looking around so frantically that Lory had to drag him back down into his seat.

"The woman with the black gloves," Lory said, "I know."

Despite the Kid's giveaway behavior John risked a glance at the woman again. She was wearing all black, in fact, despite the warm day. Outrageous sequined sunglasses covered her eyes, but it was obvious to the trained expert that she was watching them intently.

"Who is she?" Lory asked.

"Lady Reckondwyth," John said quietly. "One of Dr. Bob's 'interns', no doubt."

"Well, then, why are we sitting here, then? We aren't exactly trying to lie low," the Kid said. "We should try to talk to her--see what she knows."

"No, we're not. But we are trying to get to the bottom of this, and I'm not sure that asking nicely will do."

Lory caught the look in his eye. "She won't be able to resist the chase," she said.

John grinned. "On the count of three....One, two...THREE!"

All three of them ran for it as John shouted, and within seconds they were leaping into the Aston and driving off. A flicker of black in the rearview mirror indicated that Lady Reckondwyth was currently jumping into her own car.

"You'll never lose her!" the Kid said. "Can't this rustbucket go any faster?"

"Seeing as how we just took that last corner at a hundred and five, no," John said. "However, we can distract her somewhat. Can you work a grenade launcher? There's one that shoots out of the back bumper. The controls are in the back."

Liam grinned as his eyes wandered over the controls. “Are we going to blow her up?”

“No, we’re not going to blow anyone up, especially no useful sources of information”, John replied.

“I wasn’t serious anyway.” He looked out of the back window to check how far she was behind. After he fired the first grenade, Lady Reckondwyth fell behind, disappearing in the background. He fired a second one, just in case, well, and because he loved playing with those things.

“I have a question”, Lorelai looked at John. “Aren’t we attracting too much attention? You know, just a thought…”

“Says the one who always attracts attention, hm?” John smirked, then looked in the rear-view mirror. “Seems like we got rid of her. For the moment, at least. That doesn’t mean she’s not going to annoy us anytime soon.”

Liam looked out of the window. “I bet we find useful information at the beach…”

“And that information doesn’t happen to come with two legs and bikinis, does it?”, Lorelai asked teasingly.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about”, Liam said innocently, putting his arms behind his head.

“So,” asked Harcourt in the same tone he’d inquire about the local cricket results, while leaning back on his cane, “now that you’ve taken out a camera for their base, how do you think they’ll respond to the loss of the picture?”

“Oh Shit,” muttered Dick and dived back behind the rock. Harcourt gave it a few moments before chuckling, and walked to a different rock to hide behind. There was more cursing, then suddenly Dick sprinted from his rock to Harcourt’s.

“How did you know?” he asked

“That the rock we were previously hiding behind was the entrance? I saw the keyhole old boy. Or in retrospect I realised what it was a keyhole.” The two of them watched as the rock vibrated, then split open down the middle. A couple of guards rose from the ground on a metal platform, guns out. They scanned the terrain then headed to the remains of the penguin.

“Just two, and in masked uniforms.” The two men looked at each other. Dick grinned, Harcourt’s eyebrows raised in amusement.

Dick flicked the safety off his rifle.

"You don't mind bullet holes, do you?"

Dick breathed in.

"I say, what?"

Dick breathed out.

Pfft! Pfft!

Two shots, and the two guards dropped.

Harcourt was looking at him, possibly impressed, possibly horrified.

"You don't mind bullet holes in the stolen enemy uniforms you're wearing, do you?" Dick explained as he flopped the guards over and began stripping them of their combat gear.

John parked the car and the three walked along the beach, trying to find the entrance to the secret. It was funny when a stranger would have seen John and Lorelai walking next to each other she without shoes and Liam with a little distance next to Lorelai. He kept telling her all those random facts, it made her smile. Oh and of course Charlie. He was running around enjoying the sand and trying to catch the birds. As weird as it sounds they nearly looked like a family.
But they had a job to do.

“Oh Lorelai, look there are some pretty women.” Liam giggled a little by seeing all the pretty girls lying in the sun.

“I have the feeling we should go and talk to them, and Liam you know what you have the honor to go and talk with them.”

Talking to those beautiful, flawless daughters of Aphrodite? He sure as hell wouldn’t miss out that opportunity! Liam shot Lorelai and John a quick glance. They had spotted a man in a terribly expensive suit, sitting under a sun umbrella, surrounded by three beach babes on each side and a glass of scotch in his hand.
Who one earth is wearing a suit to the beach?
Liam didn’t waste much more thoughts on that guy. After all, he had more pleasant things to focus on…
There was a group of five women who lay on the sand, their faces directed towards the sun, their long hair falling down their shoulders as if they were modelling for a shampoo commercial.

“Hello, ladies”, Liam said, his voice almost sounding a little too high. The five women opened their eyes and looked at him, a smile appearing on all their tanned faces.

Oh Jesus…

“Ahem…” Liam cleared his throat. “May I take some of your time, I would like to ask you some questions and…”

He couldn’t finish talking because they broke out in perky chatter. The brunette next to him sat up, grabbed his arm and pulled him down.

“Oh my, will you look at this face!” She squeezed his cheeks while the other girl surrounded him as well, laughing coquettishly.

“How old are you?”

“Do your parents know you’re here?”

“God, look at that adorable little nose!” One of the girls was actually pinching his nose.

“Ahem…” Liam tried to say something but he had hardly any chance. One girl was tousling his hair while the others kept on squeezing his cheeks.

“Um...actually…”

The brunette put her arms around him. “Are you up for adoption, honey?”

Liam didn’t even know where to turn his head, he started to get really hot. Hell, this was like a dream come true…but- yes, there was a but- he couldn’t really do what he was supposed to do; work. This was just impossible.
Wait…what was that? Liam blinked a couple of times. Did he now completely go mad due to the sun and all those super-hot women, or did he actually see something like silver penguins? There was no such thing as silver penguins…except if they were…

“Robots…”, he mumbled.

“What?” The girls looked confused at him, but he suddenly didn’t care anymore. There was actually someone who had built penguins. His inner inventor couldn’t resist, he had to check this out.

“If you will excuse me…” Liam got up and dusted off the sand on his trousers.

“Are you already going to leave us, darling?” The five beauties blinked and smiled at him, but he was too distracted by the penguins.

“I’m sorry…” Liam’s eyes wandered to Lorelai and John who were focused on the man under the sun umbrella. They wouldn’t mind if he had a quick look at the robot penguins, right?

John didn't notice that the Kid had wandered off, his entire attention focused on the suited man on the beach. He was drinking scotch and--he looked a little closer--smoking a cigar.

"Looks like we've found our man," he said to Lory. "Come on."

It took them a while to cross the beach to the man, being in semi-formal wear themselves, and as they did so they saw an all-too-familiar car approaching the man from the opposite direction.

"Lady Reckondwyth? How to bloody hell did she get here so fast?" John said.

"I'm glad to see you arrived safely, Mr. Boyd," the man said, though John was sure the man had not heard his last comment. "I apologize if Lady Reckondwyth made you push your lovely Aston a bit hard."

"Nice, so she herded us here," Lory whispered. "He must know all about us."

John tried to smile at her reassuringly, then turned to the man and held out a hand. "You must be Dr. Bob." After he shook the man's hand he turned to the approaching Lady Reckondwyth. She was indeed a beauty and he kissed her hand. "Very nice driving, miss."

Reckondwyth fixed him with a smoldering glare, then shot a glance at a group of penguins wandering by. She was apparently uncomfortable with the situation.

"Amanda does not wholeheartedly approve of my love of birds," the man said. "Come. Would you like to come back to my office and have drinks? Then you can tell me all about your, ah...avian studies."

Lorelai watched John and to her surprise she actually felt a little bit jealous, but what he could do she could do much better.

“Dr. Bob, the birds are wonderful.” She flirted with the villain. “I would love joining you for drinks at your office. I’m just a grad student, I bet you can teach me a lot of interesting facts about birds.” She was clearly flirting with Dr. Bob but looked passed him at John, nearly as if she was teasing him.

They both went with Dr. Bob and Reckondwyth not once remembering that they came with Liam. The office was an underground hole, a luxury lounge but still underground with rough stone walls.

“Dr. Bob tell me what is so interesting in penguins? Mr. Boyd was never able to answer me this question.”

“They look like real gentlemen, don’t you think Mr. Boyd?”

When Liam reached the robot penguins he forgot about anything else, the penguins caught his undivided attention. He walked closer towards them to see if he could check out how they were built.
The moment he got too close to the penguins a metal platform rose up, three guys in suits standing on it, pointing a gun at him.
They did seem a little confused when they stared straight at a kid, but they didn’t lower the guns in any way. Liam knew what to do next. It was time to play the innocent, wide-eyed boy who had absolutely no idea what was going on. That meant he needed to put on his special goody-goody face...
…which obviously didn’t work on guys. Not one of them showed any reaction.
If the guards would have been old grannies he would have had a better chance. Definitely. But three men who looked like they would crack stones with bare hands were obviously not easily fooled by his innocent face.

“Hey mates!” Liam said, still a cheeky grin on his face. “Nice to-“

“What the hell are you doing here?”, one of them asked.

“I was just…actually…”
Stop talking!

“I lost my mummy!”
Good job, idiot!

The guards seemed confused again.

Liam continued quickly before it would get more ridiculous. “I mean, my mother and I were out for a walk. Well, actually we wanted to see the penguins. Ahem, not those…” He looked at the robot penguins. “Real ones, you know. We love penguins!” He grinned, this time less convincing. He knew that he made everything worse as soon as he got nervous, and he felt that he was about to get very nervous. So this was the moment to shut up and run…but as always, he didn’t shut up.

“Yes, we love penguins, my mother and I. That’s why we’re here…to look at penguins. But now I lost my mother somewhere. But penguins…penguins are…they are…”

The guards kept staring at him without any facial expression.

Liam knew it was too late. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from shutting up. Every single fact he could remember about penguins was running through his head now. And he couldn’t stop it.

“There are 18 penguin species on this planet”, he started. “The largest penguin- which is the emperor penguin- can weigh up to 90 pounds. Pretty heavy, hm? Did you know some of the species can live up to 20 years? Oh, and it’s really interesting how they act during the mating season. If a male penguin and a female penguin found each other, they-“

“Enough with the penguins already!”, one of the guards yelled.

“Oh…okay. So you don’t want to talk about penguins, that’s fine. We can talk about something else…like…um…mice! Do you know how a mouse digests? After the mouse-“

“Enough!” Two of the three guards walked towards him and grabbed his arms, still pointing the guns at him.

“We don’t have to talk about animals at all. If you want I can-“

“If you don’t shut up this bullet is going right through you!” The taller guard pressed his gun against Liam’s back.

“You shouldn’t shoot kids”, the other guard said.

“I don’t give a shit if he’s fourteen-“

“Seventeen”, Liam corrected him, but quickly pressed his lips together when he felt the guard pressing his gun stronger against his back.

“I don’t give a shit if he’s fourteen, if he doesn’t shut up I’m going to do it.”

“Okay, okay”, the smaller guard said. “Let’s get him inside.”

Inside? Good idea. Maybe they stored more interesting inventions there. Whoever built the robot penguins probably came up with other great ideas as well…

Liam looked at the guard who pressed the gun against his back.

Okay, maybe going inside wasn’t such a good idea after all…
Dick is going to kill me if he finds out that I ran right into a trap! I’m going to be in so much trouble…