Episode 2: The Peter Pan syndrome

Lorelai couldn’t believe it she was back in London, well lucky she was safely back in London. This morning she had received a bouquet of beautiful white roses, the card just said ‘This is better than money. Penny’

“Great so here I am just came back from Australia and now she got a new job for me? Come on Charlie, we’ve got work do to.”

It didn’t Lorelai long to arrive at the head quarter.

“Hello Penny Lane how is it going? Am I the last one arriving?”

“No Miss Von Gruensee you are the first, just waiting for your team.”

Lorelai nodded and went with Charlie at her heal. There was tea and some scones on the table.

“Charlie I really hope the team is helpful this time.” Charlie was running around excitedly, while Lorelai was sitting relaxed in her comfortable favorite dress. After the last mission she changed her hair to a cheeky short red.

"Charlie come here boy you can have a scone too." Lorelai crouched down and offered her little friend some scone, when the door just opened…

There was barely any information given, but Liam went anyway. Dick didn’t seem happy about him going (well… when did he ever seem happy?), but he didn’t want to look like he cared, so in his usual grumpy voice he said “Don’t get killed” and let Liam go on this mission. It was not like Liam needed any permission, after all, Dick was not his father, but if the older man had insisted on him staying, he would have stayed, no question about it. Yes, that might looked like Liam was extremely dependent on him, but it was more a fact of him not wanting to leave Dick’s side rather than being dependent on him. Of course Dick didn’t tell him to stay, that would have looked like he cared too much, but Liam could tell he wasn’t happy about it.
Liam arrived late at the headquarters, but there was a reason. No, he didn’t oversleep, it was quite the opposite. He always got up early, so the chance of oversleeping was rare, however, on his way to the headquarters he passed Hyde Park, and there just happened to be a photo shoot for a women’s fashion magazine, and he immediately stopped as he saw a group of models in fancy dresses being photographed. Not that he liked the dresses, they looked quite strange, but those models…they sure as hell were a sight for sore eyes. He completely forgot the time until some of the staff shooed him away.
So, he arrived definitely too late, noticing Miss Moneypenny’s eyebrows raising as he came through the door.
“Have you ever heard of such a thing as a watch?”

“I’m sorry, I got…distracted on my way here.”

She pursed her lips. “You better learn how to stay focused , young man. The others are in the room at the end of the hallway.”

“Thanks.” Liam tried to look friendly, but that woman made him nervous. “You know, that blue you’re wearing really suits you.”

She kept scrutinizing him with raised eyebrows. “It’s turquoise.”

“Yeah…that’s what I mean.” He smiled nervously. “You know, that reminds me when-“

“And the time is running”, she interrupted him impatiently.

“Oh, yes…right. Sorry.” He quickly turned away from her and walked to the meeting room, expecting everyone to already have started planning, but to his surprise there was only one person there. Liam tried not to grin goofily when he saw Lorelai crouching on the floor, giving pieces of scone to Charlie.
Stay calm. Act professional. Just be totally cool…

The same moment Lorelai looked up, a seductive smile playing around her lips, and Liam completely forgot what he was just thinking.

“Oh, look Charlie, it’s Fuechschen.” She got up and all he saw was curves, curves and more curves. This was so much better than the models he had just seen in Hyde Park!
“Hello, little one”, she said playfully while she kissed him on the cheek, giving him the chance to breathe in some of her expensive perfume. He wanted to say something but he just stared, unable to get out a word.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Lorelai smiled at him.

“I…eh…fine…” He nodded slightly, thinking of running into the bathroom and holding his head under ice cold water.
So much for being totally cool.

“I looks like it is just you and me this time, well and Charlie. I didn’t have the chance but you like dogs don’t you?” When Lorelai sat down Charlie jumped on her lap and curled up. But he kept suspiciously starring at Liam.

“Oh… yeah…”

Lorelai grinned, “So did Penny Lane tell you when they are briefing us? I mean I really like this hot chocolate much better than the tea but this is not a café.”

“I… dunno… she was outside wearing a blue… no turquoise dress that looked like…”

Charlie looked excited at Liam, he missed his friend Liam. Woof, Charlie barked excitedly, his tail was wiggling so much that Charlie itself was wiggling, he half fell down Lorelai’s lap and ran over to Liam. The young boy stopped talking and petted the little dog, the locket on his collar shimmering as usual. Lorelai thought the way Liam was acting was hilarious.

“You are late.” The old Lady at the end of the table said in her heavy old-lady-English accent.

“They are not late Mrs. Green they were actually for once on time, having an efficient German girl leading the mission, but you took a nap maybe you should continue doing this? I can tell them what they need to know.” Penny Lane smiled at the old Lady.

“Oh. Alright. Cute little dog.” And a moment later she was snoring.

“Is there such a thing as a pension in the Improbable Missions Force?” Lorelai asked curiously looked at the sleeping Mrs. Green

“Yes that is why she is still sitting here. So Candy, Kid shall we start the briefing?” Penny Lane asked a little impatient sounding while she opened the folder. “Your mission is if you are accepting it to go to West Germany, for an unknown reason the citizens in Bonn are turning into toddlers. Candy you as the one speaking the language will be the personal tutor of the Kid, you are both Irish. Find out what is causing the mental change of the citizen. The chancellor elections are just around the corner and the suddenly third candidate turned out to has no official background. Stay under a low radar and don’t cause any attention to yourself. You need to be invisible in the town. If you are accepting the mission you will get all the needed equipment from downstairs.”

“I’m going home and I gonna teach the little one German? Count me in.” Lorelai said in a perfect southern Irish accent just as Liam’s.

Liam had a couple of things running through his mind at the same time.
1. A mission with Lorelai alone. Completely alone
2. A mission with Lorelai alone. Completely alone.
3. A mission with Lorelai alone. Completely alone.
4. Grown people acting like toddlers? That sounded like fun!
5. A mission with Lorelai alone. Completely alone.
6. A mission with Lorelai alone.
7. Completely.
8. Alone.
And boy, did she speak that Southern Irish accent perfectly! And just the thought of her being his ‘tutor’, hurhurhur…

“Kid?” Penny Lane scrutinized him, once again her eyebrows raised. “Did you just hear anything I said?”

Yes. I’m going to be with Lorelai. Alone.
Score!

“Yes, ma’am”, Liam said, clearing his throat.

“When are we leaving?”, Lorelai asked. She was obviously looking forward to this mission since they went to her home country. He, on the other hand, was looking forward to this mission for a whole different reason…
Alone. With Lorelai…
He couldn’t get tired of that thought. He tried really hard not to grin, but from the looks of both Lorelai and Penny Lane he did a lousy job. He might as well put a sign over his head ‘Hell yeah, I’m going to be alone with the hottest chick on the planet!’, he was that obvious.

“You’re plane is leaving in three hours from London Heathrow to Dublin. You’ll stay in Dublin overnight, and will fly to Bonn first thing in the morning. Here are your tickets.” The secretary handed Lorelai the flight tickets.

It was weird being in Dublin, even if it was just for the night, but Liam hadn’t been in Ireland since he left about two years ago.
Penny Lane left the room soon after she handed them the tickets, but there was still Miss Green sleeping at the end of the table.

“You think she would notice if I drew a beard on her face?”, Liam asked, looking very tempted.

“Nah, you don’t want to be naughty, do you?”

For you, anytime!

Liam quickly looked into a different direction so she couldn’t see what he was thinking, he was sure he was too obvious again. He really had to get it together and act calm. Easier said than done…

An hour later they met at the airport. Charlie was sleeping in his travel bag and Lorelai had as usual hundred of suitcases. The check in went through quickly, and Lorelai got comfortable in her seat.
Lorelai looked at her passport the name in it said Liesel Mueller. It made her grin.

“Can you even say my name?” She really enjoyed speaking in a south Irish accent. She leaned closer and whispered. “As soon we are in Dublin we have to use our cover, so I will teach you a little bit German. And I hope you don’t mind that in Dublin we just got one room for the night. I’m sure there is a couch you can sleep on. You don’t mind do you?”

Lorelai enjoyed flying, it was so relaxing and really fun.

All Liam heard was ‘one room’, and after that he lost focus. He hadn’t really thought about actually sharing a room with her (well, he did think about that, more than just one time…), but he wasn’t aware that since it was only the two of them they would share one room instead of paying for two separate rooms, which was only an unnecessary expense. He literally had an excuse to share one bedroom with Lorelai. This was…perfect.
He had a very hard time holding back a goofy grin, so when Lorelai asked him if he minded that they had to share a room, he just shrugged his shoulders. “Fine with me.”
What an understatement…That was the best thing ever!
He felt her eyes resting on him, so he quickly got out his passport to distract himself.
“Seriously? Patrick O’Sullivan? They couldn’t have picked a more stereotypical Irish name for me, could they?”

“Well, we need to look as unsuspicious as possible, which includes lame names. Liesel Mueller is not necessarily the most inventive name in the German speaking world…” She got out a little mirror from her purse and fixed some loose strands of her hair. “Speaking of which…how good is your German?”

“Ehm…pretty much non-existent.”

A smile crossed her full lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll be a good tutor for you.”

Liam tried hard not to get any inappropriate thoughts in his head, which, of course, didn’t work. The same moment the plane started to move, and Lorelai put the mirror back.
“You’re not scared of flying, are you?”

He hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t scared of flying at all, but he started thinking if he should fake that he was in fact scared, maybe he could get Lorelai to hold his hand. Would she let him sit on her lap? Oh God, stop thinking of-

“Fuechschen?”

“No”, he said, slightly blushing. “I’m not scared of flying.” He turned his head away from her so she wouldn’t see his flushed cheeks, but at the same moment a stewardess passed him and he got a direct sight of her nicely shaped butt. He automatically leaned to the right side, watching her as she walked down the aisle, when he felt Lorelai’s hand on his knee. He startled, both because of her touch and because he thought she had caught him checking out the stewardess.

“Wh…what?” He realized that his voice just sounded like that of a 10-year old boy, so he cleared his throat and asked in a ridiculously deep voice, “Yes?”

It made Lorelai giggle, which was only embarrassing for him, because she would probably never take him seriously and see him as a grown man.

“I’m sorry I startled you.”

“You…didn’t.” He was such a bad liar. Her hand was still resting on his knee, and she had no idea what an effect that had on him.

“I just thought we could start our German lesson, since we’re in the plane for about two and a half hours, so we can kill a bit of time.”

“Sure.”

She smirked. “Only if you’re not too busy staring at those lovely stewardesses…”

Liam tried to act if he had no idea what she was talking about. “No…I wasn’t…I’m…um…not busy…eh…”
Wow, that was smooth, you idiot.

“Excellent.” Lorelai crossed her legs and he couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing a rather short skirt. “Here, you should have this with you while we’re in Germany.” She handed him a dictionary.

Liam flipped through the dictionary, realizing that most of the words were anything but pronounceable.
“Fro..frohlik?”

“What?”

“What’s that?” He pointed at the word.

“Oh, fröhlich! That means happy.”

“That sounds weird.” He continued reading. “Busen.”

“What?”

“Did I say it right? Busen.”

Lorelai sighed and snatched the dictionary away from him. “You’re helpless, you know that?”

He just ginned cheekily.

“Well let’s start with the lesson, it is not Busen. You pronounce it boo-sen and it means breast in general but is often associated with the female breast. Least see what else you would like to know. Oh what about. Du spinnst doch Mann.”

Liam looked with big eyes at Lorelai.

“Come on Patrick, repeat after me. Du spinnst doch Mann. It’s four words all one syllabus.” Lorelai wrote something in a notebook. Doo spinnst doch Mann.

“Doo spinnst dok Man.” Liam blushed.

“That is not too bad, the ch is more like a cat’s hissing. And this sentence means ‘You’re crazy, man’. Oh I know a word you know for sure. Penis.” Lorelai grinned, the plane was in the air and Lor checked that Charlie was still peacefully sleeping. She had given him some Valerian to calm in down, flying was not as easy for dogs as it was for humans.
Lorelai leaned very close to Liam, her hand was on his knee again. With the strongest Irish accent she whispered. “I heard that Irish boys are well-hung. Is it true?” Her hand was slowly pushing further up his thigh, until suddenly she sat back in her seat as if nothing had happened.

Oh crap.
This was getting too much to handle.
Way too much.
And he knew that the moment she put her hand on his knee. Well, actually he felt it…

He jumped up as if something had stung him.

“Are you okay, Fuechschen?”, Lorelai asked innocently, acting as if she didn’t know what was going on.

“I just…I really need to go to…I’ll…um…bathroom.” He didn’t dare looking at her, but the same moment he turned away from her he realized that the toilet was at the very end of the aisle, and they their seats were in the front, so he had to walk down that whole aisle.
Bloody.Hell.
Liam pulled uncomfortably at his shirt as if he could get it longer, but, of course, that didn’t work, so he just walked down the aisle (not too fast, otherwise he would attract attention) and hoped nobody would take a closer look at him. He was almost at the end of the aisle when suddenly an old woman got up right in front of him and went to the toilet.

No, no, no!

Liam was so tempted to grab that old Granny by her skinny arms and pull her away from the door, but he didn’t get the chance anyway, because she already closed went inside and locked the door.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but it started hurting really bad and was more than visible to the public eye, so he needed to turn his back on the rest of the occupants of the air plane. Since it was an old woman who just went into the toilet he had to wait for ages, and of course, during his barely endurable waiting time the pretty stewardess he had checked out before appeared behind him.

“Young man, I’m sorry but you have to sit down. We are about to land.”

Liam didn’t dare to look over his shoulder, he kept staring at the locked door. “I’m just waiting for…eh…”

“Sir, it’s for safety reasons. You have to go back to your seat.” She still sounded friendly, but he was definitely very persistent. “Sir?” She came closer, and he saw her from the corner of his eye, those perfectly shaped…oh man, it got worse! If that old woman wouldn’t hurry up he would kick in the door!
“Sir, I have to-“

“Finally!”, Liam said relieved as the old woman came out of the door. He almost ran her over and slammed the door behind him, ignoring the stewardess who kept saying that he had to go back to his seat. There was always something charming about air plane toilets. They were so tiny that even someone who didn’t mind small spaces suddenly got claustrophobic. The fact that the plane was just landing, on top of the fact that they flew through typical Irish stormy weather-which only shook up the plane unnecessarily-didn’t make the situation any better.
Liam didn’t come out until he was sure nobody could see anything anymore. The plane had already touched the ground (well, ‘touch’ was an understatement, since the pilot was probably Irish and landed like a drunkard would land a plane, so they hit the ground very hard), and he ignored the stewardess who shot him a strict glance as he walked back to his seat. He didn’t notice how flushed his cheeks were, and when he sat down next to Lorelai he got one of those boring air plane magazines and pretended to be reading.

“Is everything okay?”, Lorelai asked.

He nodded, his face glued to the pages.

“In case you haven’t noticed, we arrived.”

He nodded again, still hiding behind the magazine, but she snatched it away from him before he had the chance to prevent it.
“You sure you’re okay? Your cheeks are completely-“

“I’m fine!”, he said, turning his head to the people who just got up and grabbed their bags. The same moment Charlie looked up, wiggling his tail happily when Lorelai lifted him up carefully.

Lorelai wipe the last bit of tears away -but Liam’s reaction to her being close was just too hilarious- when she picked up Charlie in his transport bag. “I’m sorry if I teased you too much. It won’t happen again.” She said calmly.

Liam turned his had so suddenly. “What? No… you…”

Lorelai shook her head, they headed to their hotel for the night. It wasn’t a large room or even hotel but there were two beds. “Fuechschen call the room service we need dinner, and I need a shower. And don’t forget dinner for Charlie.” Lorelai kissed Liam gently on the cheek. “Something nice, please.”

She went into the bathroom and left Charlie outside of the door. The dog turned around and looked expecting at Liam. Woof.

‘Shower’ was usually a word Liam wouldn’t get excited about, but when Lorelai said this particular word he got a really tingly feeling inside. He was supposed to call the room service, but first he waited eagerly for the sound of the shower. It took him about three minutes until Charlie barked and reminded him that he wasn’t supposed to sit around and listen to the shower, so he got up and walked to the phone, ordering dinner for the two and something for Charlie as well.
The entire time while Lorelai was in the shower, he walked around the room, restless, nervous, excited. It was ridiculous, really, because she was just taking a shower, but he just couldn’t sit down and read a book or watch TV. Although he definitely should as soon as she would walk back into the room, so that he looked like he so didn’t care if the hottest woman on the planet showered just a door away from him.
The second the sound of the shower stopped, he immediately ran towards the bed where he had planned on innocently sitting and reading a book when she came out, however, he stumbled over the edge of the bed and instead landed directly on the other side, just in time for Lorelai to see that he was flying across the bed.

“Fuechschen…?”, she asked, sounding a bit concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yes! I was just looking for…um…for…eh… my glasses on the floor!”
Seriously? Glasses? You don’t even have glasses, you idiot!

He got up from the floor behind the bed and froze immediately.
Oh.
My.
God.

There she was, dressed in nothing but a towel, her wet hair falling on her shoulders. He felt like he just died and went straight to heaven.

“Did you order room service?”, she asked, walking towards her suitcases to get out another outfit.

He didn’t answer. Of course not. He didn’t even really hear what she just said. He just stared. And stared. And stared some more. And just couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this excited about anything. Well, maybe in the plane when she had her hand wandering up his thigh, but now, seeing her in that towel and…

“Fuechschen, are you okay? Did you hit your nose when you fell down?”

“I didn’t fall…why…heh?” He couldn’t think straight.

“You’re bleeding.”

Liam slowly touched his nosed and realized she was right. He got a nosebleed. There was only one time he got a nosebleed before, and that was when he was twelve years old and hiding in the girls’ locker room, and the head cheerleader Tracy got undressed. He didn’t see much though, but it was still enough for him to get so excited that he actually got a nosebleed.

He quickly ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel, hoping the day would end and he could just go to sleep. Although he had no doubt he would have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Lorelai got dressed before she followed Liam in the bathroom.

“Sit down.” She said stern to Liam

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah that’s what I’m always saying when I’m bleeding. Sit down.”

“You’re blond.” He looked a little confused at her.

“Haven’t you learned it yet? My entire appearance is just a cover. And since I have to appear German I figured blond is my colour of choice. How did you get a nosebleed? Was it from the flight?” Lorelai gently wiped his blood away. She went to the sink and wet a cloth to press it in his neck.

“Yeah the flight.” Liam mumbled.

“You have to be more careful, we are flying tomorrow again. Hey when you went to the bathroom you didn’t drink alcohol did you?” Lorelai asked concerned.

“What? No!” Liam looked shocked at Lorelai.

“Good you shouldn’t drink. I know you want to be all grownup, a real man but you can’t impress me by getting drunk okay?”

Liam looked at her for several seconds. “Okay.”

“It seems like it stopped to bleed, so come on let’s eat. And then we should rest a little we don’t know what expects us in Germany.” Lorelai wiped a last bit of blood away from Liam and left the bathroom. Charlie was sitting annoyed on a chair one paw on the table.

“I know, I know stop looking at me like this. You know that you can’t make me feel guilty. Paws off the table, Freundchen!” Lorelai giggled, there was a plain bowl of rice with vegetables and some plain chicken breast. “Here you go little one. Dinner is served. Liam? Are you coming?” Lorelai has set the table and even lit the candle. All she did was wait for Liam in her pajamas.

Liam felt really stupid. He wanted Lorelai to see him as a man, not a clumsy teenage boy, but he completely messed up. The incident in the plane, then stumbling over the stupid edge of the bed and getting a nosebleed from being too excited were all things that made him look anything but manly. He never was that clumsy, but as soon as it really mattered, he stumbled from one embarrassing situation into the next, and there was no way he could ever impress her being like that. She thought he was cute, but he didn’t want to be ‘cute’, puppies were cute, but he wanted to be more than just a puppy for her. He wanted her to take him seriously, as a man, but the harder he tried the more he messed up. Well, he also messed up by doing nothing at all, so either way, he just couldn’t get it right.

“Dinner is getting cold”, Lorelai said. “Are you okay?”

“Yes…” That didn’t sound very convincing, but he also didn’t care anymore. When he left the bathroom he hesitated for a moment at the sight of Lorelai sitting at the table in her pyjamas, but then he sat down at the other side of the table, petting Charlie who came towards him. Liam kept his eyes on the dog, not looking up for a second.
“So, do we have any hints on what exactly is going on with those people who suddenly act like toddlers? Is only a certain age group affected?” He tried to focus more on business now because he had enough uncomfortable situations for today, and he knew that staring at Lorelai in her pyjamas would only provoke the next embarrassing situation for him.

“So far we don’t know more than what Penny told us. The only people who had been seen with this strange behaviour were older and middle aged people, so it seems that children and teenager are not affected.”

“Could be some kind of chemical toxic gas that was released, and those who inhaled it were left with bad side effects”, he mumbled, staring at his plate.

“Well, that’s what we will find out”, she said. “If it has something to do with chemical experiments, I can count on you, right?” She smiled at him, but he didn’t even look up. “Liam, are you-“

“I’m tired”, he said quietly and got up. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go to bed now.”

“Oh…ehm, sure.” She seemed a bit confused, but he didn’t give her the chance to ask any further questions because he went straight into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. While he brushed his teeth he realized that he didn’t even own a pyjama since he always slept in his boxershorts and a plain t-shit. Great, he had completely forgotten about that when he threw some stuff into his bag before he left for the airport. When he left the bathroom he quickly walked to his bed, ignoring Lorelai who, of course, watched him, which didn’t make it any easier for him.

“You sure you’re okay there?”, she asked.

He just nodded, pulling the blanket up to his chin although he was not cold at all. Actually, he was pretty warm, especially under that stupid thick blanket, but at least Lorelai didn’t have a direct sight of his boxershorts, and that mattered to him more right now. She went to bed soon afterwards, wishing him good night in German. “Gute Nacht”, she said, turning off the light.

“Gote Nakt”, he repeated, which made her giggle.

“If you pronounce the word night like you just did, it sounds like the German word for naked, nackt.”

“Oh...” Liam closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but no chance. He was anything but tired. And knowing that Lorelai was in the bed next to his didn’t make it any better. He lay awake for at least another hour and a half, listening to Charlie’s quiet snoring, when he finally fell asleep.
It was about five in the morning when Lorelai got up and shook his shoulder gently.

“Hey little man, time to wake up. We have to catch a very early flight today.”

Usually Liam was used to getting up early, but he had just been in the middle of a rather intense dream, including Lorelai in the shower and a group of cheerleaders doing a car wash, and when she woke him up he knew one thing for sure; there was no way he could get up, not right this second. Why did this always have to happen to him in the most inconvenient moments?

Lorelai looked at Liam, he was moaning the past half an hour in his sleep and she actually felt a little uncomfortable. She knew what he was dreaming and she sure as hell knew by Liam’s look at her she knew she was involved in his dream.

“You better take a shower now there is still time before we have to be at the airport but we don’t know what to expect in Germany. You said it could be some kind of chemical I think we need to be careful being in Bonn.” Lorelai packed the last things and just gave Charlie his valerian for the flight. She didn’t like drugging her little friend but it would be too stressful for him to be awake during the flight. Lorelai sat down and read the file they got from Penny Lane it was not much in it, only that everyone above eighteen turned into a toddler. There was no reason for doing this. Why would you do this?

While Lorelai was focused on the file in her hand, Liam quickly got up and pretty much ran into the bathroom, he really didn’t want her to see anything. He took a long shower and tried not to think of anything female, which actually worked because his mind was suddenly occupied by their case, and he started thinking what kind of chemical reaction could have happened that turned the minds of adults into those of toddlers. By the time he was done showering, dressed and ready, he could face Lorelai again without having to hide behind a huge pillar.
His hair was still wet, and when Lorelai got up to get her coat, she scrutinized him briefly. “Don’t you want to dry your hair first, not that you get sick…”

For a moment Liam looked at her without saying anything. The last person who had cared if he went outside with wet hair was his mother.
“I don’t get sick”, he replied.

“Okay, I hope you’re right.” She took Charlie and opened the door.

A bit later, after they checked in and went into the plane, Liam noticed that their seats were once again in the front, and he hoped that nothing equally embarrassing like yesterday would happen to him again. He told himself to focus his thoughts strictly on science, chemical experiments and old hairy men- on this way he could prevent any incident like the one yesterday.

“How are you feeling?”, Lorelai asked. “Is your nose okay?”

“Um…yes. Why?”

“Because you had a nosebleed from the flight yesterday.”

Oh, yeah. Right. Well…the nosebleed was evoked by the fact that you were showering…But you don’t need to know that.

Liam folded his hands and started wondering what Dick was doing right now. He felt weird going somewhere without him. If he didn’t know it any better he kind of missed him. Sort of. Somehow. Well, yeah, if he didn’t know it any better, but he knew it better, right? Did he…? Oh man, he wasn’t seriously missing…maybe he should start thinking of naked women again. Wait, no! Not after what happened yesterday! Shit, now he was thinking of…

“Lorelai!” He almost shouted her name, which made her flinch.

“Yes?”

“Sorry, I um…” He cleared his throat. He needed distraction, so what better than having a totally lame conversation that didn’t give him any chance of getting inappropriate thoughts in his head? “How is your family? I mean…ehm…do you have…well, you probably have family, right? Do they all live in Germany?”
Good. Talk about things like family, the weather and world peace. At least those subjects distracted him.

Lorelai looked at him for a moment at him before she looked away. “Yes they do.”

Lorelai sighed. “My family has a horse breeding stud.”

“Do they know what you are doing?”

“Well no not really they know I work for the British Government, trying to make the world a better place. Just like my family did during the war.” Lorelai mumbled. “Anyway, we got a holiday flat right in the center of Bonn. I know where we get all the things we need, stuff you will like.” She looked at him hoping he understand that this included all kind of gadgets. “I’m counting of you, I’m not good with all the chemical stuff. I’m not good in that. Also did Dick teach you to use a weapon? I’m not bad with them but well a backup shot is never a bad idea.”

Lorelai didn’t like talking about her family, so she hoped he would get not to talk about her family.

“Of course I know how to shoot”, Liam said. She needed to know that he would protect her anytime, no matter if she thought of him as a little boy who didn’t know how to handle guns. Well, he was that boy two years ago, but then he met Dick who taught him a lot. Of course he would never be a good shot like Dick, and he didn’t really like shooting in general, but at least he knew what to do with a weapon in his hands.

A smile played around Lorelai’s lips. “Well, that’s very comforting, knowing that I have you to protect me.”

Liam tried not to smile too proudly. He liked thinking of him protecting Lorelai, even though he knew that this woman was very tough and knew perfectly well how to protect herself, but still…He would be the man on her side, at least for this mission, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. And no more nosebleeding. Or issues inside his pants. Well, not that he could really control that…

When they were about to land in Germany, the captain made an announcement in German and Lorelai translated it for him.

“So, remember, my names is Liesel Mueller, you can pronounce that name, right?”

“Lissel?”

“Liesel, emphasis on the i.”

He got her name right the second time, but his accent made her smile. “That’s okay, you’re Irish anyway, so having an accent is fine.”
They got out of the plane and waited for their bags. While Lorelai was focused on Charlie in her arm, Liam looked around. He’d never been to Germany before, and he noticed one thing immediately; most people sure as hell looked like they just sucked at a lemon. So, that’s the infamous Germany hospitality…

Lorelai took the keys of their rental car and made sure Liam was following her. She was not worried about Charlie, but Liam didn’t speak the language and she wasn’t sure how used he was to the right side traffic.
Lorelai unlocked the holiday flat and let Charlie go in first.

“Hold it right there Fuechschen. Charlie is checking if the flat is clean.” She whispered and held out her arm to stop Liam from walking in. Charlie came back and barked twice. Lorelai smiled. “Coast is clear.”

The flat had two bedrooms, a kitchen that had a living room, and of course a bathroom. “This is not too bad. Let me guess Dick didn’t teach you to cook?”

“Erm.” Liam looked embarrassed away.

“That’s okay I can cook. Okay listen I think it is best to go out and see how the people are behaving maybe we find out what’s going on. I’ll just get changed.”

Lorelai disappeared before Liam could stop her. It didn’t take her long and she liked spring in Germany it was a warm day. Lorelai smiled at him when she came out of her bedroom. “Ready to go? Or as our cover would require. Bist du fertig zum gehen?”

Liam nodded, following Lorelai like a little puppy. It was strange to be in a country where he didn’t understand a word they were saying, so he was practically glued to her.
The first thing he noticed were the various posters which he couldn’t read because they were in German.

“What are those posters saying?”, he asked Lorelai.

“They say that every boy between the age of twelve and eighteen has to go the hospital to have a check-up.”

“Check-up for what?”

“You know, if they are fertile and can reproduce.” She turned around to look at the confused boy. “What, they don’t do that in Ireland?”

“Eh…no…”

Lorelai burst into laughter. “I was just messing with you, Fuechschen!” She tousled his hair playfully.

“Oh…okay…”

She grinned. “Those posters are election posters. There’s an election for a new chancellor soon.”

Liam looked at the posters. So far nothing seemed odd, except that is was strangely quiet on the streets of Bonn.
“Hey, is the Beethoven house somewhere around here?”

“What?” Lorelai looked confused at him.

“Beethoven is from Bonn, isn’t he?”

“Yes, but what does that have to do with our case?”

“Ehm…nothing.”

Lorelai sighed. She forgot that Liam was not only a scientific genius but also a teenager, and teenagers liked looking around the area when they were in a new town they haven’t been before.
“We don’t have time for this, we have a job to do, remember?”

Liam nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me ma’am, that makes me feel old.”

“You’re not old!”, he said quickly. “You’re…you’re…perfect…” He cleared his throat. “Perfect age, I mean. Really…ehm…” He started to get nervous again.
A smile crossed Lorelai’s lips while she shook her head, then she turned around to a charming, old café. “I’d say we get some coffee first before we start the day”, she said. “Well, if I think about it…you might be a little too young for coffee, we can get you a glass of milk.”

“What? I’m a fully grown man!”, he said, sounding more like a 12-year old kid.

“Fully grown man, hm?” She scrutinized him with raised eyebrows, and he started to blush, but then she chuckled. “I was just teasing you, Fuechschen. Come on, let’s go inside.”

“Guten Tag, was kann ich ihnen bringen?“ The waitress asked a little annoyed. Lorelai rolled her eyes and mumbled. “You gotta love this German hospitality.” She started to enjoy speaking with a Irish accent.

“Ja ich hatter gerne einen Milchkaffee kein Zucker und Vollmilch, mach sicher das es Vollmilch ist, ausserdem hatte ich gerne die Kuchenkarte. Und mein Schüler möchte einen Schwarzen Tee und ein kleines Kännchen mit Milch, auch Vollmilch. Und ich würde es sehr zu schätzen wissen wenn Sie mit einem Lächeln zurück kommen!“ Lorelai looked determined at the waitress, “Denn nicht zu vergessen ich bin die jenige die hier das Trinkgeld gibt.”

The waitress disappeared wordless.

“Oh man that is why I don’t miss Germany the friendliness.”

“Hier!” The waitress basically threw the cake menu on the table and it was lucky that the cup were on saucers, it caught the spilled drinks. “Don’t expect too much of your tea Germany is not a tea country.” Lorelai giggled. “I think I should speak more often with this accents it is so much fun.”

“Holy Saint Patrick!” Liam’s eyes followed the waitress. “She looked so mad, I thought she wanted to kill us, very slowly and painful.”

“No, it’s just in her, let’s say, genes.”

“Yeah, almost everybody I saw so far looked like something pissed them off.”

“Indeed, makes me always very proud to be back here”, Lorelai said cynically while she studied the menu.

“Which makes it only harder to believe that you’re from here”, he mumbled. “I mean…ehm…you’re so not…eh…grumpy…and stuff.”

She grinned. “Oh, you haven’t seen me grumpy before. Believe me, I can be, if I want to. If someone messes with me…” She put her hand on his knee under the table, but this time her hand remained there, she didn’t want the little one to suffer again because he couldn’t control his body. “Which you’re not going to do, are you?”

Liam felt some heat coming right up to his cheeks. “Messing with you? No…I wouldn’t…never…”

“Good boy”, she said, patting his knee. It was so much fun teasing the little one, but she also made sure that he was okay with it.

“I’m not as good as you think.” He raised an eyebrow and managed to sound almost as if he was flirting with her, which was his intention, only that he usually messed up in that category. “I…I can be a bad boy…”

Lorelai tried not to laugh because it was too adorable coming from this baby face, so instead she tried to play along, encouraging him a little. “You’re going to show me later, right?”

Shit. No! Yes! Wait…what?

“Eh…um…” And there he was again, good old blushing little boy, who wanted to say ‘You bet!’, but instead only stuttered.

That moment a man in his mid-30s, dressed in an expensive suit, approached them. Liam looked suspiciously at him because he looked rather handsome, and he was sure that guy wanted to flirt with Lorelai, but then the man sat down on the floor like a dog, right next to Charlie, and looked up to them, grinning widely.

“Ich bin ein Hündchen“, the man said, looking at both Lorelai and Liam. “Kann mich jemand streicheln?”

Liam stared confused at the man on the floor. “Eh...what is he doing? And what did he say?”

“He says he is a doggy and wants to be petted.”

Charlie got up and looked at the man suspicious, he would not let this weird human get too close to his girl.

Lorelai starred at the man who was acting like a child. “Weisst du, ich und mein Freund hier sind in einer wichtigungen Unterhaltung. Vielleicht gehst du und suchst deine Freunde yum spielen.“

“Nein, nein, nein!” The man threw himself on the floor and just to have a temper tantrum.

“Okay this is awkward.” Lorelai looked up and noticed many other adults acting like children, crying for their mommies and daddies or blankies. “Yes this is very weird! Suddenly I really feel old. Either way there is someone out there that has a lot of fun in being surrounded by grownup children or this is for a real reason. Any ideas Fuechschen?”

Inside the Café Lorelai saw their waitress burst into tears because apparently she touched the icing of one of the cakes and her manager hit her on her hands. She looked at the manger sullen and shouted, with a whiny voice. “Du Affenarsch!”

“This is like life theater.” Lorelai mumbled while she drank her coffee with pleasure.

Liam looked surprised at Lorelai who seemed to enjoy the show, drinking her coffee while she watched grown people acting like ill-behaved little brats.

“Why are you so…ehm…calm? Does this not irritate you?”

“Oh, it is very irritating”, Lorelai said, putting down her cup. “But at the same time it’s quite amusing because you’ll never ever see those grumpy old Germans acting like that again, so this whole scene here is rather refreshing.”

It was funny in a way, definitely, and for the first time Liam actually felt like the grown up among adults and no longer the immature teenager, but on the other hand he really wanted to know what it was that made adults act like toddlers.

“Don’t worry, I won’t sit here for the rest of the day and watch those people going crazy on each other. I know we’re here to investigate and do our job, so I will finish my coffee and then we see what we can find, or who…” Lorelai went back to her coffee.

“Who? You think a person is behind this?”

“I’m not sure, but there might be someone behind this.”

“Well, from what I observed so far I’d guess there is some chemical in the air that causes changes in their behaviour, and for some reason, it only affects adults, which really makes me wonder why children are immune.” Liam actually got excited about this job because if it really had something to do with chemical experiments, he was about to face something that he hadn’t had an answer for yet, which made the gears of his brain running at full speed.

“But if it’s a chemical in the air, why am I not infected yet?”, Lorelai asked.

“Maybe it’s not necessarily in the air, it can be anywhere, and in anything. And you either didn’t come across it yet, or it takes a bit time until it starts working.” Liam could only guess since they had absolutely no hint whatsoever, but he hoped to find out soon, because the scientist in him couldn’t wait to get started on examining whatever they had to deal with. But, on the other hand, it wasn’t absolutely clear that it had something to do with chemicals, so they definitely needed to do more research first.

“Lorelai, is it…hey!” He turned around when an old woman around seventy pulled his arm.

“Ich muss pipi machen”, the old woman said in a whiney voice.

“What?”

“Ich muss pipi machen! Komm mit!”

Lorelai started to laugh. “Okay, let’s get out of here.” She put the money on the table and got up.

“What did she say?”

“She said she needs to do a wee-wee basically, and she wanted you to come with her.”

“What? Eeww, no thanks!” Liam followed Lorelai quickly outside, ignoring the old woman who whined something in German.

Lorelai looked at the people around them. “I don’t see how it happens. I mean look at them. There are business men, old grandmothers, a baker and one woman looked like a teacher. It is insanely random, I don’t see a system in it.” Lorelai looked around. This was insane. How could so many people be infected and not just any people only adults, why not children and why just here?

“Oh look fresh grapes from Stuttgart. Let’s get some.” Lorelai went to the small booth and bought some fresh washed green grapes. “Do you want some?” Lorelai offered Liam the grapes. The boy smiled and took some. “They are still a little wet, fresh washed.”

“That’s okay.”

“Who the hell is this man on the posters I mean I stopped being interested in German politicians as long they keep a low profile but I never saw this one. Any ideas Fuechschen?” It was a warm day and to prevent the citizen from dehydration the town had installed drinking water fountains. They took each a cup of water, while the walked through town. “There is your Beethoven house.” Lorelai pointed at the old house when a man in a fire brigade suit wearing pink fairy wings half danced half ran passed them and shouted in a high voice. “Guck zu mi rich bin eine Feuerwehrfee.”

“This is insane!” Lorelai shook her head slightly shocked.

Liam watched the guy with the fairywings dancing around like a 4-year old girl.
“This. Is. Brilliant.” Whatever it was that changed the adults’ behaviour, he couldn’t stop getting excited about it. On one hand it was hilarious to watch grown-ups making fools of themselves, and he was sure he would probably never see a fireman dressed like a fairy again, but on the other hand there was something out there that he hadn’t discovered yet, and he was really hoping for some chemical experiment he could examine. Lorelai, at the same time, didn’t really seem interested in the possibility of doing research on chemicals, but that wasn’t her strength anyway. She had a whole lot of other strengths , many of them very obvious…

Focus!
Liam turned away from her so he would stop staring and continued observing the people around them. The fireman was running after an old woman in a wheelchair and it looked like he tried to push her out so that he could sit in the chair and drive around.

“What if it’s all a mutation in the brain? Maybe some neurological regions have been severely affected and…oh, what if there’s a German Frankenstein? Some nutjob or a scientific genius, both are one and the same sometimes, who makes experiments on humans, maybe slicing the heads and work on their brains and-“

“Hold it right there!”, Lorelai interrupted him. “It’s not only incredibly disturbing how excited you get about something as disgusting as that, but also one huge crazy thought that you came up with, and before you get more into it, we should really gather more information about what’s going on before you build up this whole idea of a Frankenstein maniac scientist person who cuts open peoples’ heads.”

Liam looked innocently at her. “Sorry…”

She sighed and tousled his hair, which made him grin. “You’re a little freak yourself, little one. But I guess that comes with being a scientist…” Suddenly her eyes wandered over to an electronic shop, where a TV was displayed in the window and showed some news about the new chancellor elections. She walked over to the window, watching the candidate speaking about the elections. She had never seen him before and something was definitely odd about him.

“Something is not right here. Come on Liam there is a speech in an hour in the conference centre. I wanna see this guy in live.” Lorelai took Liam’s hand and pulled him along to the next bus stop after all Germany had a very good public transport system. They didn’t had to wait long for their bus, Lorelai paid and sat down next to Liam.

“Huiii. Das macht Spass.” The bus driver squealed when he let go of the steering wheel and pressed down the accelerator. Lorelai looked out of the window looking at the houses passing by way too quickly.

“Okay that’s enough.” Lorelai got up, took her small gun out of her purse and held it at the head of the bus driver. “Stop oder ich schiesse.”

The driver screamed but stopped the bus, well actually just to start crying.

“God! Liam move it we get there better not in a bus full of idiots.” Lorelai marched out of the bus. She looked around and she quickly found what she was looking for, the signs that IMF had taken care of them. She walked into the large apartment building followed by Liam and Charlie, and opened the hidden door behind the mail boxes. She revealed a corridor.

“Come on Liam, there is always something good to find at the end of those places.” And they did find something good. Now having a car which made Liam be all excited by all the extra buttons the way to the conference centre was driven in no time.

The chancellor candidates were already on stage when Liam and Lorelai went in with the cover of two press cards.
One of the two candidates was drooling and sitting on the floor playing with a screw he had found while the other one the one on all the posters was giving a speech of how important his job will be and how he will make this country shine again. He took a sip from his bottle of water. Letting the press ask childish questions while answering seriously.

“Okay, this is getting weirder every second, but I have the feeling we should be here. Let’s go back to our base Fuechschen.”