Episode 1: Licensed to Dress to Kill

John got out of his Aston Martin DB5 and leapt up the stairs to the record store two at a time. He was, as he often was, late. Never late on the job of course, but once real life set in things got a bit complicated for John Hubris.

He breezed into the record store and looked confused until a pimpled young man handed him a record labelled "Vivaldi's Thirteenth Symphony", and moments later he was out the door, sliding down the banister and jumping into the Aston. He quickly fumbled with the portable record player and started the record as he sped off. A moment later, Miss Penny Lane's voice filled the Aston.

"Good morning Mr. Hubris…."

Morning! I' m not that late, am I?

"Mrs. Green is getting some of the ladies and gentlemen together for brunch at the office. I do hope you can come. Oh, and please bring the plates. This tape will self-destruct in one second."

"What--?"

BOOM!

He sighed, rolling down the window to let the smoke out. Fortunately he was already on his way to Central Control, the headquarters of Improbable Missions Force. In five minutes he was getting his eye scan and walking in to Mrs. Green's lobby. Penny Lane was typing at the desk.

"You're late, Mr. Hubris," she said, not looking up from her typing.

"Miss Lane! Always a pleasure to see your--" he paused, wondering which feature he should focus on, before he continued, "--gorgeous nails!" He lifted her hand off the typewriter. "Love the color!"

She smiled, and, gently pulling on his tie, brought his ear down to the level of her lips. Her warm breath poured down his collar as she murmured, "Please see Mrs. Green in the next room--I've got to finish this letter and I just can't while you're...." she looked him up and down, "...distracting me."

"Oh, you're such a tease, Miss Lane," he said. "Shall we meet for tennis tomorrow?"

"You won't be anywhere near the courts tomorrow, Mr. Hubris--you've got a job overseas."

John's heart quickened. It had been a while since the last job. He longed to be in the field, solving international crimes. Like that wonderful last job in New York, where he got to go to the Presidential inauguration, beat the foreign minister at poker, fight twelve katana-wielding ninjas on the Statue of Liberty with nothing but a chair leg...

Alright, maybe minus the katana-wielding ninjas.

He gave her hand a kiss and loped into Mrs. Green's office.

Lorelai got out of her little red car. “Charlie?”

Lorelai looked in her car again but her best friend wasn’t there. “Charlie, we don’t have time for this. We are summoned and have to go, we are really late because I had to finish the last mission. Charlie.”

Woof. Lorelai turned around and saw her dog sitting on the pavement waiting for her. She rolled her eyes. “You are mean.” She cuddled him for a moment and then faced building. Charlie was never wearing a leash, but it was not necessary. He always knew exactly what she wanted him to do. In the lobby she went to the lady typing. “Hello I am Lorelai Von Gruensee and Mrs. Green is expecting me.” Lorelai smiled and fixed her hair in the

“I know Miss Von Gruensee just go through.”

“Thank you.” Lorelai knocked at the office door and stepped with the following Charlie inside.

“My apologies for me being late, I had to finish my last mission. I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t had time to get changed.” She said taking off her coat in a perfect English accent into the room. She saw John right away. “Charlie, der Mistkerl ist hier.” The friendly looking dog put his ears up and was fully alert and ready to protect his girl, the locket at his collar shimmering in the light.

“I told you we’re late”, Liam said to Dick when they entered the building.

“So?”

“Maybe it’s not the best impression if we-“

“Gentlemen!”, Miss Lane said, looking at them from head to toe. “Rather late today, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we know”, Liam mumbled apologetically, looking at Dick who only huffed.

She shook her head and continued typing.

“Where do we-“

“Mrs. Green’s office.”

“Thank you”, Liam replied and followed Dick who didn’t even bother saying anything to Miss Lane. When they opened the door Liam spotted John first. He had met John briefly but didn’t know much about him but he seemed like a nice guy. Well, it bugged Liam a bit that he was so shamelessly good-looking, but that was not a reason for him to be impolite.

He was just about to greet John, when he saw her, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, like a queen….no, a goddess! He didn’t even notice that his jaw dropped open while he kept staring at her. He refused to blink because he was afraid he would miss something.
“Holy St. Patrick…”, he mumbled. “She looks like the girls from the Playboy cover. No, she’s hotter!”

He suddenly realized that everybody heard that, and the guys looked at him with raised eyebrows.

Liam cleared his throat. “It’s not like I’m reading those magazines…” He blushed, looking like a little boy who had been caught while doing mischief.

Lorelai seemed to be rather flattered and shot him a wide smile. “Well, thank you for the compliment, darling.”

His cheeks turned redder. He tried to say something but he soon realized that he was only going to stammer anyway so he remained quiet and quickly looked in Dick’s direction who still scrutinized him with raised eyebrows.

“There’s something black on your right cheek”, John said.

“Oh…” Liam quickly wiped it off, turning to Dick again. “Thanks, man, for letting me know that I had gunpowder on my face for the last hour.”

“You always have something weird on your face or in your hair after your little experiments, so I really don’t bother telling you anymore.”

“Gunpowder?”, John repeated.

“Well, I was working on some sort of explosive material for which I needed a certain amount of gunpowder. I mean, there are other ways, like using nitroglycerine and gelignite but if you actually-“

“Kid”, Dick interrupted him.

“What?”

“Shut up.”

Lorelai giggled. “You’re so adorable, and that accent…you’re Irish, right?”

“Ahem…yes…” He really had to force himself not to stare at her décolleté and instead scrutinized her shoes. As if he would care about shoes…

None of them head really noticed him as they had arrived. Maybe they thought he was the butler, standing in the corner. Harcourt had arrived punctually, even slightly early, to find not only was he the only one there early, he was the only one on time. This did not bode well. If these people could not arrive on time, it was unlikely they were much use at anything else.

He took them in. A somewhat good-looking fellow who at least dressed properly. A very attractive woman, the only sign that Harcourt found her attractive was a slightly raised eyebrow, with… a dog? Another man who looked and sounded as if he was about to start a uncouth brawl in the middle of the office. And a child? Not only that, an Irish child who had no idea of the proper way to behave. Still, Harcourt was too much of a gentleman to let his frustration show.

He gave a slight cough.

“As our host appears to be slightly delayed perhaps we should introduce ourselves, rather than getting off on the wrong foot.” He extended his hand to the other suited man, mostly because he was the closest.

“Henry Parker Harcourt.”

John smiled at the men who introduced himself as Harcourt, and shook his hand. He could already tell from the man's stance and handshake that he was a Cambridge man, and he guessed from his polite but unassuming manner that he was the world-renowned lock-pick that Penny Lane mentioned to him a few months ago. "John Hubris," he said. "Penny's told me so much about you. It's good to see another Cambridge man on the force! Have you been introduced to everyone?" He glanced around at the others--the young man was too busy rubbing his cheek to get rid of the gunpowder, and the dark man with him looked to be in no mood for introductions.

John couldn't help but grin at Lorelai.

"Lory!" he said, beaming as he led Harcourt over. "What a sight you are! Is that a new coat?" He knew he was babbling, but he didn't care--he loved flirting with Lory, even now. Without meaning to he checked her hand for a ring, and felt a wave of relief that it was still bare. "Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Harcourt. Mr. Harcourt, meet Miss Lorelai von Gruensee. Very nice little chap you have there."

He noticed that the young man with the spot on his face perked up his ears as if he expected the term had been meant for him, but John was looking down at the little dog. Normally dogs liked John, but this one seemed a bit wary of him, so he didn't reach down to pet it. He could always have the boys in the lab concoct some sort of dog repellent, should it get between him and Lory...

He stopped himself before those thoughts went much farther, ashamed that he constantly had to remind himself that Lory was not his fiancee anymore. But he didn't dare let that show. He checked his watch. "Well, I believe everyone's here except our host. Can I pour anyone a drink?"

For a moment Lorelai felt as usual around John, blown away, or like flying. It was an amazing feeling but her landing wasn’t as much fun. She looked coldly at John. When he turned around to get the drinks, a small smile played around her lips. She crouched down and pet Charlie.

“He is not just a little chap John, he is my partner and you should not offend him. He might be small but he can still bite. And while you are at it, I would like to have some juice for me and for Charlie some water.”

Lorelai felt the eyes of the boy glued on her and she knew he was just a boy but it still felt good. She sat down on the chair close to him, Charlie following her and looking happy at the boy. “Do you have a name?” She flirted still in a British accent.

The boy blushed and mumbled. “Liam O’Doherty.”

“Liam… that is a great name.”

She kept looking at John while she cuddled Charlie, his locket at his collar jingled slightly.

Jesus H. Christ, Dick moaned, covering his eyes with his hand and massaging his brow like it would help. That kid was going to be the death of him. That kid, was, in fact, the only reason he was here in the first place, the only reason he was working for the Improbable bloody Missions Force, the only reason he found himself doing so much for so fecking embarrassingly little money...

"To hell with The Department!" he had said, though he had been caught, fair enough, and sat handcuffed to a desk in an interrogation room, speaking to the IMF Recruitment boys.

"We've read the File, Pound!"

That had stopped him cold. He had a File? "Let me see that File!" he demanded.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to."

Dick narrowed his eyes. Which was pretty impressive, considering his eyes were already narrowed. He saw through slits. "That doesn't change anything. I'm not working for you. You can't do anything to me."

One of the men was shuffling papers behind him. "Ahh, but what about your little, ahem, partner?" Something in the way he said this struck Dick in a most alarming manner.

"You leave the kid out of this." It was not a threat. It was a promise.

"Liam Seamus O’Doherty. Boy really should be in school, young as he is. Then again, with what he knows, perhaps a Paddy wagon isn't too far from his future, am I right?"

"And we've read the File," the other reminded him.

They seemed to think this was funny.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" Dick growled.

"Now, I know The Department has a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy, but really, Pound, the flagrancy," he tutted.

That was worrying.

"What?"

"I wonder what Child Services will have to say about that. You do know he's not yet legal, Pound."

Realization slapped him in the face.

"God, you people are sick!" he bellowed. They better be glad they had him cuffed to this table...

"We, Mr. Pound? We are sick? We are not the ones who have misled an innocent youngster, Mr. Pound. What you do with your personal life is hardly any of our business, but--"

"Nothing like that ever happened! Our relationship is strictly...professional." But the pause as he struggled to define how he thought about Liam was just as condemning as an admission.

"Still. It's in the File," one warned.

"We could, of course," the other tempted, "mislay the File. Make sure no one ever gets their hands on it. We might even be able to keep our own mouths shut. If we only had a little bit of cooperation from you, Mr. Pound."

"And if not?"

No answer.

Dick hung his head, more to contain rage than to signal defeat. The bastards! They had him right where they wanted him! But if he wasn't around to look after that kid, well--it didn't bear thinking about. No matter what these accountants said.

But his voice, when he finally raised his head, was tired:

"What do you want from me?"

Dick pulled himself from the uncomfortable reverie and nodded at Hubris and Harcourt from where he sat at the far end of the long table.

If this powderpuff league was to be the IMF's excuse for a team, he understood exactly why they had been so insistent that he come along.

Okay, this was unfair… Apparently it was not enough that John Hubris was very handsome, but he also had to know that lovely, beautiful creature? And it was obvious that he knew her really well, he even called her a nickname.

“Ahem…how do you and John know each other?”, Liam asked.

Lorelai hesitated for a brief moment, but then a smile passed over her face. “Long story.” She took the glass that John handed her and acted all natural. Liam watched the two very carefully to see if there was something going on. Well, John was clearly flirting with her, but that didn’t have to mean anything since he seemed to be the type who flirted with pretty much every woman.

Liam noticed the older man next to John looking at him. He knew he had to be careful with his remarks on English people, so he decided it would be better if he wouldn’t tell him that he was perhaps the most stereotypical English guy he had seen so far. The only thing that was missing was a cup of tea in his hand. The man noticed the younger boy looking at him and cleared his throat.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

The older man nodded his head, obviously a bit confused what the hell a seventeen-year old was doing here but he didn’t ask further questions. Liam noticed that Dick was, as usual, not very chatty and just sat at the table, watching the others without any facial expression.

“Hey grumpy, you might want to introduce yourself too.” Liam sat down next to Dick, poking him. “You know, that’s what people normally do, so….”

Dick shot him a cold glance.

“Okay, okay, just saying!” Liam turned his head to Lorelai and watched her, well, admired her. “Her face is perfectly symmetrical. You know how artists use the golden ratio to calculate aesthetic perfection? I swear, if I had the measurements of her face I could use the formula and calculate-“

“Kid!” Dick just stared at him. “That’s sick.”

“Why? It’s actually-“

“Just stay away from women like that, period.” Dick shook his head and sighed.

Liam grinned. “Yeah, sure…”

Lorelai felt the little one watching her and it felt flattering. Charlie looked expecting at her and she knew that he basically asked her if he could go around and check the rest of their new team. She smiled and got up to sat down at the table, next to Liam.

“If you not stop watching me you will make me blush.” She whispered in an Irish accent in his ear making sure that he felt her breath slightly tingling at his ear. For her it was a game to tease Liam a little and see if John would get jealous. Charlie was running around excited sniffing at everyone happy, nearly everyone he didn’t cared for John. In the end he jumped on Lorelai’s lap and hoped to get pet from either Lorelai or his new friend Liam.

Liam tried to act calm but unfortunately he couldn’t control the fact that his cheeks were pink. Very pink. It was really annoying and he wished he could do something to stop blushing, but that was almost impossible with Lorelai sitting right next to him, being so close that he could smell her perfume. He focused on the little dog that was sitting on her lap.

“What kind of dog is that?”, he asked, not looking at Lorelai.

“Charlie is a Jack Russell terrier.”

“Charlie, hm?” Liam petted the dog’s head. He usually wasn’t really fond of pets since he was allergic to many of them, but Charlie was cute somehow. “What do you have there?” He noticed the silver locket with Charlie’s name engraved on the silver surface. Suddenly the dog started snarling, and Liam quickly put his hand away.

“He doesn’t like to be touched there”, Lorelai said, giving Charlie a kiss.

“Why?” Liam raised his eyebrows. He knew that he sometimes annoyed people with his curiosity, but Lorelai only smiled.

“That, little man, is a secret.” She looked from him to Dick who watched her warily.

“And who is this? Your bodyguard?”

“What?” Liam turned around. “Oh…no, he is...” He thought for a moment how he could describe their relationship but it was kind of hard to explain it to others. “Dick. That’s Dick.”

Lorelai shot Dick a smile, but he didn’t react.

“He’s always like that”, Liam said, looking at Charlie again. Now he was really curious what the secret was behind that locket.

Lorelai was not used that men didn’t fall for her, but she had found someone who admired her. Not that she didn’t get enough attention of men, it still felt nice to be a star for one.

“You look like a smart kid, do you know anything about the mission? I hope it is a mission by which I can wear a little more clothes. In my last mission I was an exotic dancer and I can tell you I’m glad this is not my everyday job.”

Yes she did tell him this to tease him, but it was just so much fun. Also did it distract him from Charlie’s locket, he looked the type of boy who thought about a problem until he had solved it.

Dick's attention had wandered from inward to outward. He wasn't often pensive, and he didn't like it when he was, so he spent the next few minutes observing his surroundings. The room was bomb-proof--he'd noticed the thickness of the walls as he walked in. Third floor, bullet-proof windows that looked like they didn't actually open. If it was his secret bunker he'd hide the safe behind that ugly portrait of a bowl of fruit.

None of the people in the room seemed an immediate threat, even if they hadn't all been here for business.

Hubris was possibly concealing a gun--but then he might just have been happy to see the girl.

The girl, Von Gruensee, whose London-English accent wasn't quite right, though he couldn't place it. They'd have to fix her name, anyway, because by the time anyone shouted out "Watch out, Lorelai Lieselotte Wilhelmina Von Gruensee!" she'd already be dead. Von Green. That sounded good.

Liam's attention was clearly occupied.

The Harcourt man looked moderately capable: Dick got the impression that a worrying amount of skill and ruthlessness were hidden under that unassuming bowler hat. He made a note not to underestimate that one.

That just left the old woman sitting quietly in the corner. No one else seemed to have noticed her. In all fairness, her hat blended in with the vase of flowers sitting in front of her.

"And who might you be?" he ground out, his voice more striking because of its novelty to the room.

Everyone turned their heads. A few gasps. They had only just noticed her?

Fair enough, she seemed only to have just noticed all of them. She looked a little lost, in fact, and Dick wondered awkwardly if she was indeed all there, you know, in the head. She turned to him, since he had spoken, and cocked her head to one side. "Who might you be?"

John jumped as the couch seemed to move, revealing a woman who had blended in perfectly with the twill upholstery. "Mrs. Green!" he said. Despite her small stature, the old woman was formidable, if only for what she represented.

She only smiled disarmingly at them all. "Hello, dears! Are we having a party?"

"We're having a brunch, Mrs. Green, remember?" This came from Miss Lane, who has just walked through the door with a large file in her hands. "You remember the terrible time we're having with the Australians?"

"Oh!" the old lady smiled knowingly at Miss Lane, then crinkled her forehead. "That is to say, no. I was just taking a nap."

Miss Lane nodded. "That's perfectly alright, Mrs. Green. You finish your nap."

"Oh. Alright. Cute little dog!" And a moment later she was snoring.

Those who didn't know Mrs. Green raised their eyebrows--but John and Lory only shook their heads. "Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen," he said. "Poor dear isn't as young as she used to be."

"I heard that, Mr. Hubris!" Mrs. Green snapped in between snores. "Miss Lane, would you be so kind as to--you know. Go over the file?"

Miss Lane nodded, and began passing out papers to the agents. "I believe this is the first time you are all working together, so I'll just make a few brief introductions. Mr. Dick Pound, career assassin and gun expert; The Kid, explosives technician and inventor, The Phantom, lockpick and swordsman; Candy, mistress of disguise; and Double-Oh-Negative, the, ahem, walking mouth."

"Mr. Pound does not have a codename?" John asked.

"Goodness knows we tried," Miss Lane said, giving Pound a dirty look, "but it can't be helped, I suppose. You were all summoned here for your specific skills, as the task at hand is delicate to say the least. Two weeks ago, a wealthy Australian bought out an island on the coast of New Zealand. He is currently evicting the natives based on a perfectly legal loophole, in the hopes that he can turn the entire island into a penguin reserve. Though considering this man's record, that is highly unlikely."

"And the Australian's name?"

"We only know by his pseudoname--Dr. Bob."

Everyone was quiet except the young man, who burst into laughter until Miss Lane's glare shut him up.

"Your mission," she continued, "is to meet the contact in New Zealand, gain access to Dr Bob's penguin island, and find out what he's planning. Here are your boat tickets for this evening. And one thing I should make abundantly clear is that this is a reconnaisance mission only. No heroics."

To John's surprise he wasn't the only one who grinned and nodded--though some were better at hiding their insincerity than others. Miss Lane only rolled her eyes.

"Alright. I believe that's everything. You'll find one of our contacts on the ship to provide you with any equipment you might need. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to arrange a dinner date between the Polish foreign minister and the Argentenian secret service."

Shortly after Miss Lane left the room, Liam turned to Dick. “How bored can you be that you waste all your time turning an island into a penguin reserve? And Dr. Bob? Seriously? Why not Uncle Sam or Ebenezer Scrooge?”

Liam was actually glad to hear that they had to go down under for their mission since he had spent most of his childhood years in both Australia and New Zealand. Well…he had a major problem back then because neither the Australians nor the New Zealanders were able to understand him, and when he went to boarding school the other kids thought he couldn’t speak English and ignored him, not knowing that he understood English perfectly well but just didn’t get rid of that really strong Irish accent. But well, he had this particular problem pretty much everywhere in the world, so it didn’t really matter where he went.
He quickly looked in Lorelai’s direction, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, but she had noticed him and flashed him a flirty smile. Liam quickly turned to Dick, knowing that he was certainly not going to blush as long as he looked at the older man who stood there with crossed arms, probably thinking what the hell he was doing here.

“I love Australia, the sun, all the cuddly koala bears and the best part all the pretty shorts, skirts and dresses I can wear. “ Lorelai grinned at Liam, knowing that he got already nervous. “Maybe we have some time and can go to the beach. I love the beach. Liam if you want you can drive with me to the harbor. Don’t worry you will arrive in one piece, but you will drive in a really nice car.”

Liam blushed again but nodded shy. Lorelai would have a lot of fun with the little one; she needs to find a good nickname for him. She had arranged that her suitcases would be brought to the ship and just had arrived moments before herself. Liam was on the drive from the headquarters of Improbable Missions Force to the harbor even quieter, her car did not leave a lot of personal space.

“Who is going to help me with my luggage, Gentleman?” Lorelai asked looking from Dick, to Mr. Harcourt and at least to John when she heard from behind Liam. “I’ll do it. Miss Lorelai I can carry all your luggage.” Liam tried to pick up the entire luggage but he already collapsed under the weight of them. Lorelai giggled.

“Allow me Ma’am.” Ever the gentleman Harcourt picked up one of the bags. Due to the cane and limp he was unable to manage much more. At least now it should be more manageable for the boy.

The whole day seemed surreal. Never mind the briefing where the apparent head of intelligence slept through it, but the whole notion of, for want of a better expression, an ‘evil’ penguin reserve was just ludicrous. Maybe jail would have been a better choice, rather than this variety show act that he had been thrown in.

He looked at the boat as he boarded with distrust. Leaving Britain (for the first time) was bad enough. Having to go half-way across the globe for some flightless birds. And all they were supposed to do was observe. Wasted resources. Harcourt needed something to put him in a better mood.

Where was the tea room?

Dick disappeared for the first hour of the voyage: he had his system. Survey the perimeter, take in all possible exits, entrances, blind spots, things that could be used as weapons, and catalog them in his mind. Once he was sure the place was secure, and he had at least four back-up plans in the event it was not secure, and once he knew Liam was going to stay put (most of the other men weren't likely to leave the deck of the ship with Von Green wearing that) Dick realized he was hungry.

Well, thirsty. A drink would be nice, though he didn't usually partake of alcohol on the job. So coffee would have to do. Dick was still in the middle of tearing apart the ship's mess when someone walked in.

"Oh. It's you," he growled, seeing the bowler-hatted gentleman walk in. He went back to plundering. "Don't they have anything stronger than tea in this place?"

On Deck, Liam didn’t leave Lorelai’s side. If he wasn’t a man of science who only believed in things that could be scientifically proven, he’d probably believe that she had supernatural powers and had cast some sort of spell on him. The only time he had ever been that fascinated by something was when he witnessed a solar eclipse for the first time in his life. Back then he was still in elementary school, and while the other kids either freaked out or didn’t give a damn about it, he had built his own safety filter out of a thin layer of aluminium in order to observe the solar eclipse. Liam didn’t tell Lorelai that he found her as fascinating as a solar eclipse. For some reason girls didn’t consider that a compliment. They wanted to hear how pretty their hair looked or how well their dress was suiting them. He didn’t get it. Why should he make a comment on a girl’s hair when he might as well compare her to a rare comet or the construction of a highly significant rocket? No, he really didn’t get why girls didn’t appreciate his compliments, but since he knew that he did scare them off this way he kept his thoughts about the fascinating solar eclipse to himself. After all, he didn’t want to give Lorelai the impression that he was a freak.

Liam felt like an idiot, standing next to her and not getting one single word out, but everytime he forced himself to say something ‘normal’ it turned the other way around.
“Did you know that a cockroach can live various weeks with its head cut off?”

He wanted to punch himself. Seriously? So much for trying not to look like a freak…

Lorelai raised her eyebrows. “Really? I had no idea.” She watched the boy, obviously amused how fast he was blushing again. That moment John appeared and leaned against the rail, right next to Lorelai.

“Pleasant evening, isn’t it?” He winked at Lorelai, then looked at Liam. “Your friend is inside, if you’re looking for him.”

Liam wasn’t looking for anyone at the moment, but what John actually meant was something like ‘Can you leave the two of us alone?’

“Can I ask you something?” Lorelai turned to Liam, ignoring John’s slightly impatient glance. “Aren’t you, well, a little scared of living with an assassin? I mean, that man earns his money by killing people. Maybe it’s just me, but if I was your age I’d be a little worried…”

Liam couldn’t help but laugh. “Scared? Of Dick?” He shook his head. “The only time he scares me is when he smiles. That is scary! But it doesn’t happen very often, so…” He shrugged his shoulders. Well, maybe most people didn’t feel comfortable living with a high-class assassin under the same roof, but he couldn’t care less. Dick had saved his life, that was all that mattered.
When Liam noticed that Lorelai looked at him intensely, he quickly cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say, but she made him nervous. Very nervous. And once again he opened his mouth and said something he didn’t really intend to say.

“Did you know that an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain?"

John had to work hard to keep from grinning. One more day of this and Lory would come *crawling* back to him.

He heard a crash, a growl from Pound and an exasperated cry from inside which sounded like Harcourt. He patted Lory's hand. "Don't mind me, Lory, I'll let you two get back to your discussion--Oh, Liam, tell her about how its possible to drive a car through a blue whale's aorta."

And with that he left Lory with the young man and sauntered inside. He found Pound standing there, rummaging through the tea cabinet and generally making a mess of things. Harcourt was watching in horror.

"No tea for you, then, Pound?" John asked, trying to diffuse the situation. "I believe they have some coffee at the, er, *coffee* bar. Its at the other end of the hall."

Lorelai followed John with her eyes, she knew what he thought. Sure Liam was a child but hey he had something cute, he was the perfect friend material and until he knew this too she would play with him a little bit more. She looked at Liam and tousled his hair.

“You are adorable, just like a little fox. That’s it! I gonna call you Fuechschen.”

She smiled at him, knowing that it would turn his legs into jello.

“Is it true that you can drive a car through a blue whale’s aorta?” Lor flirted ignoring the noise from the tea room.

“Have you ever been anywhere else than Ireland, Fuechschen?”

Harcourt looked at the situation with horror. The tea pot was smashed.

As Dick strode off to the coffee room Harcourt sifted through the wreckage with his cane. Mercifully, he uncovered a second, undamaged tea pot. He spent the next few minutes engrossed across the stove. As such he didn’t realise John was still in the room with him.

With a cup of tea in one hand, Harcourt tapped John on the back with the other.

“Come on. I believe there is some more preparations to be done.”

That lady sure knew how to get to people. Liam had no doubt she was good in manipulating. And if she should ever manipulate him, he so didn’t care. She could manipulate him anytime.
Wait, that was unprofessional. And very imprudent. Dick would kill him if he knew how easily Liam let himself manipulate by a woman. That was clearly Liam’s weak point, and he had to get a grip and be less obvious about it.
He tried not to blush while he looked directly into Lorelai’s eyes (a lovely shade of green, and light brown, almost amber around the pupil) and put his hands in his pockets to look less tense.

“Well, actually I’ve spent less time in Ireland than in other countries. My mum worked for an Institute of Marine research in Australia and New Zealand, so that’s where I spent most of my childhood. Later I lived in the States, but only for two years.”

Lorelai giggled. “But you’re very Irish for someone who spent more time abroad than in Ireland.”

Liam smiled shyly. “Well, I guess…I never really bothered picking up an Australian accent and American spelling just drove me crazy.” He was just about to part his hair on the left side so it wouldn’t stand up when she tousled his hair again.

“Leave it like that”, she said, grinning. “You look so cuddly with tousled hair.”

Liam really longed for a refrigerator where he could just go in, close the door and stay there for a while until he cooled off. That woman most certainly did not make it easy for him.

“Are you all right, Fuechschen?”

“Yes!” Great, that just sounded like a boy before his voice breaks… He cleared his throat. “Ahem…that word, F…Fuech…”

“Fuechschen”, Lorelai repeated. “It’s the German word for fox cub.”

Fox cub. She called him fox cub! Nobody had ever called him fox cub…God, he couldn’t even pronounce that word!

The noise from inside got louder. Liam had ignored the clanging because he was obviously too distracted to really pay attention, but now he was wondering what on earth the men were doing. It seriously sounded like they threw dishes against the wall. Liam sighed. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know what was going on…

Lorelai knew how much she embarrassed Liam but it was just so much fun, she put on her white soft satin dress which was look through and then took his hand pulling him in the tea room. “Let’s get us some tea.” She said in an Irish accent. She made sure that John saw her holding Liam’s hand when they entered.

“In drei Teufels Namen what is going on?”

Shattered dishes where on the floor and Harcourt look rather miserable.

“Is there some tea and a cup left for a lady?” She picked up Charlie so that he didn’t cut his paws. Her dog licked happy first her face and then when Liam was close enough his as well. Liam smiled and petted the dog the locket swinging right in John’s view as if it was mocking him. It took Liam a moment until he realized how closer his hand to her body was, he stuffed his hands in his pocket and tried very hard not to blush.

"I think maybe we ought to be a little more inconspicuous and not shatter the entire ship, gentleman?” She asked as the queen of inconspicuousness with her bare feet, was showing off her curves and speaking again in a perfect English accent.

"Glad you could join us," Dick barked, his mood improving slightly from the warm comforting coffee. "We could use a woman to get this place back in order."

His ears practically popped from the change in pressure, as everyone gasped and looked at him in horror.

"He means!" yelped Liam, ever preoccupied with crowd control, though Dick could care less, "Em, that is, what he means to say, is that he hopes Ms. Von Gruenesee can bring some order to this conversation! Can't have you blokes rubbing elbows without the balancing voice of reason, here!" He beamed, like a schoolboy kissing up to his teacher. That was just sick.

Dick found the room scooting away from him as he dipped his head back into his coffee. Which was good. Hubris wore far too much cologne, and he didn't trust the all-forgiving Harcourt.

"So. Why'd they send me along on this run if we're just reconnoitering?" Dick mused to himself, though the question was meant to be rhetorical. He hated talking about himself. "What will we be doing, then? Disguises, conning, breaking and entering?" His eyes sparkled with an idea. "Hey, maybe we could interrogate one of his lackeys?"

He looked around for confirmation, and was greeted only by shaking heads and raised eyebrows.

Dick's shoulders drooped. "Fine." Another sip of coffee. "It's a shame we don't have a master thief in our midst..."

Harcourt laughed giddily, reached into his pocket, and held something up. Dick was at first uninterested, until he got a closer look--

"Hey...that's my wallet!"

"Harcourt's right," John said. "Some of our mission is strictly off-record. Even the secret service can't exactly admit it. The situation is delicate. Perhaps this would be better explained downstairs."

He walked out, and the agents followed him downstairs to a door guarded by two men in black. They stepped aside as he approached.

"For those of you who have never been on a mission before, may I introduce the equipment room?"

He opened the heavy iron door and stepped aside to reveal an incongruously modern lab, complete with a test ray gun in one corner and John's Aston Martin being fitted with grenade launchers in the other. Men in lab coats were running around with clipboards, taking measurements.

"I think you'll find everything you need here," he said. He leapt into the front seat of his Aston Martin and fiddled around with some of the switches and things. "Although, Lory, I think the staff accidentally put some of your armor-plated underwear in my glove compartment…"

"What is all this for?" Harcourt asked. He tapped on the screen of what looked like a television, and a bolt of electricity shot out of the antenna, nearly striking the Kid. Pound at least looked pleased.

"To make our job easier, I suppose," John said. He leaned back and propped his feet up on the passenger seat. "While we look around it might be good to come up with a plan for how we're going to find out what Dr. Bob is up to, and what we're going to do to stop him."

"Then it is more than reconaissance?" the Kid asked.

"Hopefully. From what I've read about Dr. Bob, there's certainly more to him than immediately presents itself. But we need to find out what he's doing, first. I was thinking of splitting off into groups."

"Why make a plan now?" Pound was examining the ray gun. "We're not going to arrive any time soon--it'll take a while to get to Australia from England."

"You think the secret service can invent a ray gun and not make a ship go faster? We'll be there by tomorrow. So, any ideas for how we should go about discovering the secrets of God's gift to penguins?"