Until I Have To Go

As soon as they closed the door behind them, Jo started to laugh. Liam had no clue why, because neither he nor Ricky had said anything the past thirty minutes- they’ve been actually very quiet- but there she was, laughing so hard that she almost cried.

“What is so funny?”, Liam asked while he lay down on the couch. “Are you aware that we spent the past week more with travelling than we actually spent time at the wedding? We could have been so much faster by plane.”

“You know I don’t like to fly”, Jo replied, still laughing.

“What is it? Why are you laughing so much?” He turned his head towards her, watching her while she took out something that looked like a notebook. “What’s that?”

“It’s Ricky’s notebook.” She couldn’t stop laughing.

“Why is it so funny? Aren’t you supposed to return it?”

“I wanted to, but then I didn’t get the chance anymore. I’ll give it back to him another time.”

“And what is so funny about it?” Liam closed his eyes, he was so tired he could fall asleep any second.

Jo walked to the couch, giggling. “I have the final proof.”

“Of what?”

“That Ricky is very, very fond of you…”

Liam opened his eyes and looked at Jo. “What?”

“I’m not sure if I should show you this…”

“Show me what?” He was suddenly wide awake. “Don’t tell me he drew pictures of me naked!”

“No, silly!” She giggled, opened the notebook and showed it to him.

“What the hell…?” Liam stared at the pages where his name was written all over. Sometimes it was written inside a heart, sometimes he had drawn little hearts around the name, and the dot over the i was always in the shape of a heart.
“Jesus Christ!”

Jo continued to laugh.

“I thought only girls do that!” Liam sat up, flipping shocked through the notebook. “My name is everywhere!”

“Did you see the Mr Ricky O’Doherty part? Oh, and the Ricky hearts Liam?”

“What?!” Liam gasped. “Oh God!”

“Is that finally proof enough or are you still not convinced that you have a secret admirer?” Jo raised her eyebrows.

“Holy shit…” Liam actually started to blush as he went through the notebook. “What if someone sees that? What if a professor…or someone who knows me…”

“Nobody at university knows you, and there’s no way Ricky would show his notebook to anybody.”

“He gave it to you.”

“No, not this one. I accidently took it because I thought it was the one of his literature summer course.”

“Oh my God!” Liam pointed at the two little stick-figures that were holding hands. “Is that supposed to be me?” He pointed at one of the figures. “What 21-year old does that?”

Jo finally calmed down a bit from laughing and took Liam’s hand. “Please do me one favour, don’t confront him about that whole thing, okay? I’ll give the book back to him, and I’ll make sure he knows that I’m okay with that –“

“Are you?”, Liam interrupted her. “I’m not!”

“Liam, please don’t say anything to him, okay? You always tend to be a little too…straight-forward.” She looked into his eyes. “Ricky will be embarrassed enough if he realizes that I have his notebook, so please don’t make any of your sarcastic remarks.”

“Okay, okay…” He sighed and closed the book. “Any chance I can accidently drop this into a fire or into the toilet, you know, just by coincidence?”

Jo snatched the notebook away from him. “I’m sorry, but no.”

Jo kissed Liam, took Ricky’s notebook and went in the bedroom. “Here you might like this.”

Jo handed Liam another notebook it had twice as much pages at least as Ricky’s notebook. Jo blushed when she sat down next to Liam on the couch.

“Is this another book of Ricky’s?” Liam asked worried. There were less his name written in it and more sketches of him. Sometimes they were his full body sometimes just a detail like his eyes or his lips.

“What is this?”

Jo looked at the spot between them.

“You made all of those? Jo is this yours?” Liam asked gently.

“Yeah… erm when you are gone and I miss you too much I started to draw you. It is silly I know but erm it… it calm me down and reminds me of all the moments we had.”

“That is not silly that is awesome. I didn’t realize you are such a great artist.” Liam pulled her closer and kissed her. “Can I keep it?”

Jo nodded. “It is full anyway I guess I start a new book as soon you go working again. Which will be soon, right?”

“Yes I have a mission after Christmas but let’s not think about this yet. Come on you need you sleep.” Jo smiled at Liam. She could not stop thinking about how wonderful it would be to marry him, a fairy wedding in the gardens of Waterfall Downs…

Christmas Eve 1967

“LIAM!"

“Hoy Saint Patrick what is it Jo?” Liam came as fast as he could running back into her room. Jo was standing smiling in a red dress and a little matching red bow in her hair. She looked so beautiful and at the same time so casual. The dress wasn’t even the typical silk or expensive fabric. Liam was already wearing the expensive suit and had the red tie in his hand.
Jo giggled when she saw him. “Nothing I was just looking for you. And what are you wearing?” She looked sceptical at him.

“What do you mean? The expensive suit you want me to wear each time when we are here. Except the tie is new, I guess it is to match with your dress.” Liam sounded stressed.

“Do you have a present for my parents?” Jo came closer to fix his tie. She smiled it looked as if she was really happy.

Liam took a closer look at her she looked the way she did before the kidnapping.

“Yes, but it is nothing expensive.”

“Oh I forgot to tell you, we never give bought presents for Christmas. All presents have to be self-made. So no gift will be expensive.”

“And you are telling me this now?” Liam looked in shock at her. “Whoa what are you doing?”

“Taking of this ridiculous jacket of yours to take off the vest you are wearing. It is okay if you wear the jacket but the vest is too much.”

“Jo what’s going on here, there is something you are not telling me.”

“Every party at Waterfall Downs is organized by my mother, but Christmas is not a party! It is a feast that goes on for three days. Full of laughter, games, books, really good food and a lot of fun. Dad loves Christmas, and the only rule on Christmas to wear something red. What you are now doing. You could even if you want to wear one of your comic jumpers. Because Christmas is everything than stiff.”

A knock interrupted her. “Jo may I come in?”

“Yes come in dad.”

Colin opened the door. “I should have known Liam is here too. Listen darling, your mother doesn’t feel well she is having a cold but she wants us to continue with Christmas just as planned.”

“Oh. Do you want me to check on her?”

“No, no I got a nurse and she is taking care of her. When she feels well enough she might join us tomorrow.” Liam understood what Colin said between the lines, even though Jo didn’t know that Colin actually meant something different than he said. She was putting on her red slippers and didn’t see the look Colin and Liam exchanged.

“Okay I’m ready let’s go and celebrate Jesus’ birthday!”

The house was buzzing with people. Every room was from top to bottom decorated with Christmas things. In each door were mistletoes and the air was filled with the smell on the most delicious foods you can imagine.

“Welcome to my Christmas wonderland Liam.” Jo smiled, she had taking him up the servant stairs on purpose so that he didn’t see any of this.

This was a total contrast to what Liam was used to know from his Christmases. When he was little Christmas was always simple, and only him and his mum, no guests. It was the only time of the year she actually cooked something, but it never worked out. So they ended up eating pancakes on Christmas Eve, one of the only things his mum could bake, and watched the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. The past couple of years he spent Christmas with Dick, so there was obviously not a big, cheerful party with Christmas music, movies and mistletoes going on…But Liam didn’t care much about Christmas in the first place, maybe because he had never been a kid who got extremely excited about present, and he wasn’t religious, so he did not care whether Jesus was born that day or not.
However, he was really impressed how beautiful Waterfall Downs was decorated that even he, who didn’t care much about Christmas, felt a little Christmas mood coming up. And Jo was right, everybody was wearing something red, even if it was just a hair band or a tie. Most of the women wore dressed in all sorts of different red shades, and some men wore red Christmas jumpers. Liam couldn’t believe it, but he actually looked a bit overdressed.
He didn’t know any of the people, but he had expected that anyway.

“Is there anybody I know?”, he asked Jo.

“Ricky is coming.”

“Oh.”

“Liam…”

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to act weird around him just because of the notebook.”

He sighed. “I know. I like Ricky…God, that sounds so weird when I say that! I mean, he’s a nice guy, I don’t have anything against him, it’s just…the notebook and stuff…”

“I know what you mean”, Jo said. “But I also told you about the conversation we had when I returned the notebook to him, right? He said he knew he would never have a chance anyway, and he wouldn’t try.”

“Yeah, he better not try anything…”

“Liam.” Jo raised her eyebrows. “Be nice.”

“I am nice”, he said. “I just want to make sure that he knows that I will never be into guys, I’m sorry, it doesn’t matter how nice he is. I like women, lots of them…”

“Excuse me?” Jo glared at him.

“I didn’t mean it like that”, he smiled nervously and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Josephine!” An older man in a tweed jacket and a red bow tie approached her. “I haven’t seen you in a while. You look beautiful, if I may say so.”

“Thank you, Reverend Blake”, she said with a friendly smile. She was just about to introduce Liam to him, when she realized her boyfriend wasn’t standing next to her anymore.
As soon as he heard the word ‘Reverend’ he turned around and hid behind a couple of full-figured women who looked like opera singers. Reverends didn’t freak him out as much as Catholic priests did, but they still had one thing in common; they always asked him questions about his religious views, and he most certainly was not in the mood to talk about that at a Christmas party on Christmas Eve. He was still hiding behind the big women when he spotted a familiar face, but it wasn’t Ricky.
“Bloody hell…”, he mumbled when he saw Victor talking to a group of other rich-looking kids. “That guy is some pain in the ass!”

The three ladies turned around and looked at him with pursed lips.

“Oh, um…” Liam smiled nervously. “I said you have a nice ass…”
Shut up, man!

“Excuse me?”

“I mean…nice glass…you’ve got there…” He pointed at the glass with champagne the lady was holding. “If you’ll excuse me…” He quickly turned around and walked into the other direction.

“Well a moment ago my boyfriend was here, but he feels uncomfortable around religious men.” Jo smiled apologetic at Reverend Blake.

“That is quite alright, I feel exactly the same.” Blake laughed. “So what do you think of your father becoming the next Dean?”

“It makes me nervous, but also proud. And I’m very glad to finish Oxford before he is selected.”

Blake laughed, his laugh was warm and infectious. “Yes I understand that very well. Oh my dear, please excuse me but I see someone else I haven’t seen a long time, and I have to apologize that I was unable to attend her wedding.” Blake took Jo’s hand once more, squeezed it briefly and went to Lorelai and John.
For a moment Jo felt scared to be alone without Liam, but the feeling didn’t stay long the Christmas happiness pushed it away.

“Miss, may I put a food plate for you together?”

“Oh Joshua,” a regular servant for big occasions was standing next to her, he was wearing as all servants a red shirt and black trousers and a Merry Christmas stitched on the back in golden letters, “that would be very nice. I will stay here so that you easily can find me.”

“It won’t be long. Oh and Miss? The usual?”

Joshua was around Lorelai’s age and he worked every Christmas here at Waterfall Downs. He was an orphan and worked since he is sixteen. He knew what Jo liked to eat.

“Yes the usual.” Jo smiled. Jo saw her boyfriend again and someone else.

Oh no it’s her!

She quickly stepped to Liam and pulled him in one of the alcoves.

“Jo? We can’t do it right now here.”

His girlfriend giggled. “I know but do you see this woman? The one that wears nothing red?”

Liam peeked around the corner. “Yes? Wasn’t she the one we were hiding from on Lor’s wedding?”

“Yes, it’s Aunt Millicent. She is the oldest of the three sisters. And she doesn’t have all her marbles anymore.”

Liam turned around and grinned. Jo was standing very close right behind him. “Hey there.” He said flirty. “Since we are already stuck here can I do this?” Very gently he pushed her back against the wall and kissed her. He was very careful, and made sure that she knew he would stop anytime she wanted him to. For a moment he was worried that he scared her, but then she wrapped her arms around him. He smiled. “How long until they miss us?” Liam asked smirking.

“I think five minutes.” Jo smiled shy at him.

Liam kissed her again. “Really, who will look for us?”

“The servant who will bring our food.”

Liam sighed. “Servants.”

“Come on I think the coast is clear and Aunt Millicent is gone.”

Jo took Liam’s hand. “Miss I fixed you the usual plate and a second plate for you Sir.”

“Thanks.” Jo handed Liam his plate with all Christmas treats.

“Hey Jo when are we opening the presents?”

“Well that depends. We will get a few present to open right away, but the really important presents from my parents, Lor and John and a few other close family members we open tomorrow at the big Christmas breakfast in pyjamas.”

Liam had a very hard time picturing Mr and Mrs Williams in pyjamas. That would be funny, though, but awkward somehow.
And Lor will be there too, in pyjamas…
Don’t even think about it!
Change of subject, quickly!

“Wait…do I have to wear a pyjama as well?”, he asked.

“Well, you have a choice; pyjama or naked”, she said teasingly. “I don’t mind either one of them, you know…”

“Yeah, I’m sure you don’t mind”, he replied sarcastically. “But seriously, you know my pyjamas…well, I don’t even have real pyjamas, it’s mostly my boxers and shirts, and you know my kind of boxers and they are definitely not appropriate when your parents are in the same room.”

Jo giggled. “Oh, my mother will be delighted.”

“Jo, seriously! I can’t sit there in my ‘Get Lucky’ boxers!”

“Relax, I made sure you get a decent pyjama for that special occasion.” She smiled at him.

“Nothing embarrassing?”

“Nothing embarrassing. Just cute.”

“Cute?” He looked sceptical.

“Hey, there you are!” Ricky appeared behind them.

“Hi Ricky, you look great”, Jo said.

“Thanks”, he smiled, trying not to stare at Liam. “I just saw Lorelai, I had no idea she was already that far with her pregnancy.”

“Yeah. That far.” Liam actually didn’t want to say anything but it just came out before he could stop it.

Jo and Ricky just looked at him, and he quickly cleared his throat. “Anyway…You have any plans for New Year’s, Ricky?”

“I’ll be at my parents’. It’s going to be boring, but it’s kind of a family obligation. It’s more important to my mum actually, and my dad seems to care less, but she told me he only pretends to be indifferent. “ Ricky grinned. “Dads, right?”

“Yeah, dads…” Liam didn’t show any sign of emotion.

Ricky remembered what Jo had told him about Liam’s family. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“No need to apologise”, he said, then turned to Jo. “I’m getting some of that weird stuff.”

Jo had no idea what he was talking about, but she didn’t have the time to ask because he already went to the table with the drinks and poured some eggnog into a glass.

“She looks a lot better now”, he heard a familiar voice behind him.

Liam turned around and saw Victor standing right next to him. It really bugged him that Victor was so much taller than him, he felt like 12-year old next to him.

Victor watched Jo talking to Ricky. “I’m sure you worked some boyfriend-magic on her…”

“Just piss off, okay?”

“No need to be so hostile…” Victor scrutinized Liam from head to toe. “Besides, I’m a guest. Lady Elizabeth invited me personally, we get along very well.”

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you propose to her if you two like each other so much?”

Victor smiled. “I can’t help but get the impression that you might be a little jealous.”

“Of what?”

“That Elizabeth thinks of me as a son. Something you will never be to her.”

Liam pressed his lips together. “I don’t care what she thinks of me, just stay the hell away from Jo.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I can’t do that”, he said, almost whispered into his ear. “After all, there must be one person who looks after her, right?”

Liam didn’t have a chance to say anything because Victor walked away from him and disappeared in the crowd.

Lorelai appeared behind Liam. “So Tod how is my little Jo?”

“Erm Lor did the pregnancy hormones did something to your memory? I’m Liam not Tod.”

Lorelai giggled. “No they didn’t my memory is perfectly fine. But did you ever watch The Fox and the Hound? It’s a Disney movie I bet you would like it. The fox in it is called Tod. That’s my new name for you Tod, because you are Jo’s fox but you can be my Tod.”

Liam looked at her. She was so beautiful, pregnant but still beautiful.

“And I think I would like when you call me Mina again, I miss it.”

Lorelai smiled, she had this glow around her. “I hope you know that Jo is not a diamond girl.”

Liam looked over and saw Jo still talking with Ricky. “She is not?”

“No she prefers rubies and emeralds. I’m not saying she doesn’t like diamonds, just it doesn’t need to be a diamond.”

Liam nodded. It was good to know.

“So what do you think about this Christmas insanity of Colin? Did you tell him and Jo yet that you are leaving the day after tomorrow?”

“I told Colin but not yet Jo. And insanity is the right word for this.”

Lorelai giggled. “Oh-oh Millicent, hide Liam.”

Within second Lorelai had disappeared but Liam was caught by Millicent.

“Oh my dear boy, did we meet?” Millicent held on to Liam’s arm. Jo sighed on the other side of the room. “Oh no Millicent caught Liam. Come in Ricky, help me safe him.”

She took Ricky’s hand and pulled him to Millicent and Liam. “Good afternoon dear Madame Aunt Millicent. Merry Christmas to you.”

Millicent looked sceptical and questioning at Jo. “Have we met before?”

“Yes. I am your niece Josephine Williams, Lady Elizabeth’s daughter. You do remember Elizabeth your sister don’t you?”

“Of course child, don’t mock me. Who are you?” Millicent poked into Ricky’s chest.

“That is Rick Butcher, he studies with me at Oxford English literature. And this Aunt Millicent is Liam O’Doherty my boyfriend.” Jo smiled at her aunt. Trying very hard to find a way out of this misery.

“O’Doherty?” Millicent’s eyes grew big. “You are from Ireland! Oh my, that is… I mean… Have you seen them?”

“Who?” Liam looked confused from Millicent to Jo, who was giggling silently.

“Oh, the little people!” Millicent was whispering very excited ignoring Jo’s giggling.

“Who? Midgets?” Liam didn’t get this woman.

Jo couldn’t stop laughing, and Aunt Millicent’s confused face didn’t help her stop.

“What? No. I mean fairies!” Millicent looked dreamy at Liam.

“What?! Woman listen there are no such thinks as fairies, not in Ireland or anywhere else.” Liam looked annoyed.

Poor Aunt Millicent looked heartbroken at Liam. Jo quickly jumped in. “Oh look Auntie, I think I saw one at the Christmas tree.”

Millicent turned around and had forgotten everything Liam had said to her. She was searching the rooms for fairies.

“Liam she is old and confused, just play along with her. We don’t want her to die.” Jo tiptoed and kissed him. Ricky smiled at them. It was weird and at first he was jealous of Jo, but now seeing Liam so happy with her made him happy.

“But Jo, there is no proof for fairies.”

“I know that Liam, but just next time when she asks if you have seen them, say yes and it was so wonderful that you don’t have words for it.” Jo looked at Liam and for the first time in weeks, she wanted to be close with him. From the Music Salon Christmas carols filled the air. “Oh Liam, come with me!”

Jo pulled Liam into the Music Salon and smiled happily seeing people dancing in circles, other people playing the music instruments and there was one she hadn’t seen in a while. “Oh Graham is here. I thought he was still travelling. He is my piano teacher, or was. Maybe in a little while he has time to say hello.”

He looked from Jo to her piano teacher.

This was Graham Hart? The pianist? Liam had pictured him older. And less attractive.

“No wonder you liked your piano lessons so much”, he whispered to Jo who started to blush.

“You want to dance?” She asked quickly, took his hands before he could say something and dragged him to the dance floor.

“You know I’m not the greatest dancer…”

“Doesn’t matter.” She smiled at him.

It was actually nice, he had to admit. And he hadn’t seen Jo so happy and carefree in a while, so he would definitely not tell her today that he was leaving the day after tomorrow.
The piano music stopped, and the string quartet took over instead. Jo turned her head towards the piano and saw that Graham just got up.
“I have to introduce you to him!” She pulled him towards her piano teacher. “Graham!”

“Jo?” He smiled. “What happened to you? The last time I saw you, you were at least three inches shorter!”

“I told you I wasn’t done growing yet”, she replied and hugged him. “It’s so nice to finally see you again, you’ve been travelling way too much.”

“And you’ve been busy in becoming the best student in Oxford, right?” He winked at her, then his eyes met Liam’s who still seemed a bit astonished that Jo’s piano teacher really was the pianist Graham Hart. “And who’s this young gentleman?”

Jo smiled. “Graham, this is my boyfriend Liam.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Liam”, Graham said and reached out for the boy’s hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you, sir”, Liam replied, shaking his hand. He couldn’t explain it, especially since he’d never seen this man before, but he had the feeling he already knew him. “I really admire your work, Mr. Hart.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that. And you can call me Graham.”

“Okay.” Liam nodded. He studied the other man’s face and kept on wondering why he had this feeling of familiarity. He knew he had never seen him before, but still…

“So, you’re from the south, aren’t you?”, Graham asked.

“Excuse me?”

“The south of Ireland. I would say somewhere around Cork, am I right?”

Liam raised his eyebrows. “Where do you…Did Jo tell you?”

Graham shook his head and smiled. “No, but an Irish can place the accents of his country.”

“Wait, you’re Irish? But you…”

“I know, I don’t sound Irish anymore. I moved to England over nineteen years ago, and since I travel so much I often found myself in the situation that people from other countries couldn’t quite understand me, especially the Asians, so I had to cut back the Irish accent and pick up the English instead. Not that I ever got completely rid of the Irish accent, but after nineteen years of proper posh English I’m just used to it.”

Liam looked surprised at him. “Wow, I had no idea. And you’re originally from…”

“Dublin.”

“And you’ve been to the south before?”

For a moment Graham seemed lost in thoughts. “Yes…”, he said almost absent-mindedly. “It’s…a very beautiful area.”

“I taught Liam some of your songs”, Jo said, winking at her boyfriend who blushed.

“Really, did you?” Graham looked from Liam to Jo.

“Oh…but I’m not very good”, Liam said quickly.

“You play the guitar very nicely”, Jo added. She had a fun time watching Liam blush in front of Graham.

“I’m not musically talented, not even remotely. I’m more into science…Jo is the musician.” He looked at his girlfriend.

“Oh yes, Jo is definitely a gifted piano player”, Graham said, flashing her a smile.

Now it was Jo who blushed. “I’m not that good, and I’m also a little out of practice.”

“You’re too modest”, Graham said. “You’ve always been like that.”

Liam noticed the shy smile around Jo’s lips, and he was pretty sure that she used to have (hopefully past tense!) a crush on that pianist, but he couldn’t really blame her. If he were a girl he’d probably have a crush on him as well…
Okay, weird thought. Move on.

“Oh, there’s this one song you played by heart right after I taught it to you.” Jo looked at Liam, then turned to Graham. “He played that song so many times, I guess he really likes it…”

“Jo…”

“Which one?”, Graham asked.

“To my Heroine. Liam played it at least a thousand times…”

Liam shook his head, trying not to blush. “You’re exaggerating.”

The two didn’t notice the change in Graham’s facial expression when she mentioned the song.

“I’m not exaggerating, you’re just being shy!” She punched her boyfriend playfully, but then she looked at Graham and recognized some sort of sadness in his eyes. “Are you okay? Did we say something wrong?”

“What? No!” He shook his head and smiled. “I just had to think of something.” He studied Liam’s face intensely and was about to say something, when they heard the clank of glasses, and Colin made an announcement.

“Unfortunately I have to leave, I need to catch a plane tonight”, Graham said after checking his watch.

“What? But it’s Christmas Eve!”

“I know, but I have a concert in Boston tomorrow.”

Jo shook her head. “You’re such a workaholic, Graham!”

“Yes, says the one who studies more than everybody I’ve ever seen although she doesn’t need to”, he replied with a grin. “But I’ll be back in the beginning of January, so I’ll make sure we have a little more than just a few minutes to talk, and you can prove to me that you’re still my favourite student.” His eyes wandered to Liam. “And maybe your boyfriend would like to show me what you taught him.”

“I really suck!”, Liam exclaimed. “Seriously.”

“I have to see that myself”, Graham said. “Goodbye you two, have a nice Christmas.”

“You too.” Jo hugged him again, and Liam shook his hand.

“It was nice to meet you, Liam”, he smiled at the young boy. “I really missed that accent.”

“Have a safe trip”, Liam smiled back. He waited until Graham was gone, then he turned around to Jo. “And you’re telling me that you took piano lessons because you liked playing the piano, hm?”

Jo smiled innocently.

Jo introduced Liam to many more people, and most of them gave them small envelopes. When they go the first one Liam was about to open it, when he saw Jo’s look in her face. As soon the old dude Liam had forgotten the name already walked away, Jo whispered. “We open presents but no envelopes. In them is money and it is rude to check how much it is. When you open presents keep the little tags on it so that we know to whom to write the thank you card.”

“Wait I’m not just getting presents, for which I have to write thank you cards I also get money from people I don’t know. No way I gonna keep the money.” Liam was already looking for the man that gave him the first envelope.

“Liam that is even ruder than opening them. Just keep them and if you really feel uncomfortable donate the money or buy me a present.” Jo grinned at him, when another college of her father just came to them.

“Josephine, I’m so glad to see you here. Here I have a little something for you and your boyfriend. Your father is very proud of you, and he is very proud of the man you chose. Mr O’Doherty is a fine man. Have a Merry Christmas you too.”

“Thank you Sir. I wish you a very Merry Christmas too and your wife.” Jo smiled. She knew the game. This would go on until the last guest had left -which wouldn’t be before 1AM- and then the servants would have little gifts for them.

“Jo is it really okay if I sleep in your room?” Liam asked when they went upstairs.

“Yes of course father said it is fine if you do.” Jo looked up the next flight of stairs. “I wonder if mother feels better, maybe I should go and see her.”

“No!” Liam said a little too loud. “I mean, she is probably already asleep and she needs her sleep.”

Jo looked at him suspicious. “I guess you are right.”

“So do I go downstairs in my get lucky boxers?”

Jo giggled. “No silly. You can sleep in them, because I will put on another pyjama tomorrow.”

“Oh so I don’t have to sleep in anything uncomfortable?”

“Nope.” Jo stole his shirt and got changed.

“That’s all you are wearing tonight?” Liam loved to see her in his shirts. It surprised him to see her in just the shirt. His girlfriend blushed but nodded slowly. He didn’t say anything else he didn’t want to scare her, because in his mind he was not just cuddling with her.

The next morning Jo was unusual happy. She couldn’t wait to see what he made for him. And what she got from him, and her parents. They got change in their appropriated pyjamas, Liam didn’t really like his or well Jo’s was cute but he really prefered her in his shirts and boxers. Jo handed him a red bath-rope while hers was white.

“Good Morning and Merry Christmas.” Colin smiled at them.

“Merry Christmas.” Jo hugged Colin and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek.

Jo and Liam sat down, next to their places was the pile of presents. “Can we open the presents?” Liam asked carefully. Jo nodded. “Yes dig in.”

Liam unwrapped the present from Jo first. Jo smiled, he was holding the sketchbook full of sketches of her. He notices a couple of pages were taped at the back but he realized why. “Oh Josephine those sketches are beautiful.” Colin said. Her mother was weirdly quiet but Jo thought it was just because she still felt rather sick.

“Thanks father. Liam do you like it?”

“Do I like it? Jo, it’s great!” He kissed her on the cheek, not because he was scared to kiss her in front of her parents (well, maybe that was a tiny reason too) but mainly because he wanted to whisper something into her ear. “Now I’m really curious what those pictures in the back are…”

She tried not to giggle. “You have to be alone to look at them, it’s for you only”, she whispered back.

“What are you two talking about?”, Colin asked, and Liam almost flinched because he thought that Jo’s father had heard them, but he flashed him a friendly smile, and that calmed him down a bit.

“Okay, I’m going to unwrap your present now”, she said, letting her eyes wander over the mountain of presents. She spotted it immediately, because it was the only one wrapped in an article about meteor showers. She opened it and held a beautiful, antique notebook in her hand. She opened it and recognized his handwriting on every single page.

“It’s…um…a collection of stories…um…” He really wanted to avoid sounding cheesy, but it wasn’t that easy. “I wrote my favourite stories I know about stars inside this book, so that you could have them too and pass them on to... someone else later…sometime. I know it would have been less work to use the typewriter, but I had to do this secretly, and you would have heard the typewriter, of course, and I couldn’t carry it around me all the time, so I decided to-“

“You wrote all of this down…”, she said, completely amazed. She looked up to him. “This is amazing, Liam…”

“I’m sorry, I know my handwriting sucks, especially in the end, that’s when my hand decided to give up.”

“It’s perfect”, Jo smiled and kissed him.

“Liam, do you mind if I have a look at it?”, Colin asked.

“No, that’s fine”, he answered. Jo handed the book to her father who raised his eyebrows while he flipped carefully through the pages.

“You have a really nice collection of stories in there”, he said. “I can’t believe you wrote all of them by hand.”

“Like I said, my right hand really wanted to give up on me, but I didn’t want to give up on that present so soon.”

“Where do you have all those stories from, if I may ask?”

Liam was quiet for a moment. “From my mother.” He looked at Jo. “She said I have to pass those stories on to someone who is particularly special to me.” He was surprised that he didn’t have a hard time saying this, usually it took him ages to say things like that, just like it took ages for him to tell Jo he loved her. He just hoped this book, even though it wasn’t much, would prove to her how much he valued and cared for her. He was not the kind of guy who constantly told his girlfriend how much he liked her, so he needed another way to let her know.

An hour later all presents were unwrapped and they went to the dining room to have a special Christmas breakfast. It wasn’t anything unusual for Liam to have breakfast in pyjamas, but it was still kind of weird to walk around like this in front of Jo’s parents, even though they were dressed pretty much like him. Mrs Williams looked a bit funny in her nightgown, but he didn’t laugh because she was still not feeling well.

“So, do you have any plans until New Year’s Eve?”, Colin looked from his daughter to Liam, and then back to Jo.

“Not really”, Jo said, taking a sip of her tea.

“Well, actually I have to go for a couple of days”, Liam mumbled. He avoided to look at Jo and focused on the table cloth instead.

“What?” Jo thought she misheard him.

“It’s just for a couple of days.”

“What is for a couple of days?”

“Work.” He finally looked up and regretted it as soon as he saw the way Jo looked at him.

“But…”

“I’ll be back on New Year’s, I promise”, he said, turned his head towards Colin and changed the subject, hoping that Jo would stop looking at him like that.

Jo bit her lip. “Please excuse me.” She walked of the dining hall but as soon the door of it was closed she ran. In her pocket was still the present she got from Liam. Jo knew that Liam had to work at some point again, but… she hoped it wouldn’t be that soon. Jo sat down on the bench, the very bench Liam was sitting on her birthday.

“Hey Jo?” Liam said quiet behind her. She tried to wipe the tears away but her eyes were still puffy and red. Her boyfriend have a blanket to wrap around her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” New tears were running down her cheeks.

“Because I knew it would make you upset and I didn’t want to spoil Christmas for you.” Liam wrapped his arms around her.

“What if someone…”

“No one will hurt you while I’m gone.” Liam said quickly before she finished her sentence.

“How do you know that?” She looked at him, not being able to stop crying.

“Because I planned it all. Tomorrow when I leave you will stay here, and I packed a second back for you because you gonna be the first guest staying over at Rose Cottage. Lorelai is looking forward to have you for a couple of days and then I come back on New Year’s Eve and I heard that there is a big party on Campus. All the cool kids will be there. You will hardly notice that I’m gone.”

“How the hell can I not notice the only one that makes me feel safe is gone?”

Liam felt guilty, for leaving, for making her that depend so much on him, for letting this happen in the first place. “I’m sorry Jo.”

For a while they both said nothing, Liam was rubbing circles on her back. “You gonna safe someone else don’t you?” Jo mumbled.

“Yeah.” Liam couldn’t really tell her about his mission.

“When do you have to leave?”

“I get picked up tomorrow at 5AM.”

“Do you mind spending the rest of the day just with me?”

“If I mind? Jo you should know I love spending my time with you. What do you wanna do?”

Jo sighed. “Can we go in the library and you read me your stories to me?” Jo tried very hard not to start crying again.

“That would be nice.”

“Can I draw you while you do that?” Jo had never asked to draw him, maybe because this time she would just draw him for herself. Trying to capture his love for her in one of her sketches. “And maybe you can wear your Mickey Jumper?”

“Yes you draw me, I read and wear the jumper. Come on it starts snowing again. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Jo and Liam stay all day long in the library, they never saw anyone just the two of them. Liam had difficulties on losing Jo’s tight grasp of his shirt in the morning. When he was ready and waited for the car, he kissed her until she woke up. “Hey I know you don’t like early mornings, but the car will be here soon.”

Jo was for a moment her typical morning grumpy, until she heard that he would leave soon. She started to cry. “No, please don’t leave me. Please.”

“Jo, you know I have to go. Please stop crying.” He kissed her over and over again. “You will be safe I promise! That’s why you are staying with the best person I know that can make sure you are safe. Lorelai will take very good care of you. And I told her all the little important thing she need to know. Please stop crying. Here look.”

He squeezed the paw of her fox. “Never forget all the fun we had and will have!”

“See I made him speak.” As usual he calmed her down. “Everything will be fine. I promise.” Jo nodded, she calmed down a little.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

“It’s okay. I should have told you earlier so that you can prepare for me leaving. I will hurry up and try to finish the mission as soon as possible. Okay?”

Jo nodded. “Liam?”

“Yes?”

“I love you , always and forever.”

Jo didn’t expect Liam to say anything she was surprised when he whispered. “I love you too.”

Jo hugged her stuffed fox, and felt horrible that Liam was gone.
The next time she opened groggy and grumpy her eyes she saw Lorelai, or more was cuddled into Lor’s arm.

“Wha ya doin here?”

“Making sure my little one is okay without the other little one, and I know she is not so I make sure you eat, drink and sleep.” Lorelai brushed the hair out of Jo’s face. Jo snuggled into Lorelai never letting go of her fox.

It was the morning of New Year’s Eve, when a blonde girl in a Chanel coat entered the little student café on Oxford campus. She walked towards the table where a young man was sitting, reading the newspaper. He didn’t even look up until she took off her coat and sat down.

“Maggy.” Victor smiled and put the newspaper aside. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“The pleasure is all mine”, she answered and played with one of her blonde locks.

“I took the liberty and ordered coffee for you, black, just milk, no sugar. As you like it.”

Maggie smirked. “Perfect.” She waited until the waitress placed the coffee in front of her before she continued. “So, what is it you want me to do? You mentioned Josephine Williams…”

“That’s right.” Victor folded his hands. “We need a game plan.”

“Game plan?”

“As you know I want to marry her, but she isn’t particularly fond of me yet, and she’s with that Irish kid I assume she picked up from the streets somewhere, so I need a little support to, you know, get her. It’s hard to get to her at all because she’s so attached to that little boyfriend of hers, but that’s when you come in. You can get his attention, and she will think that he is interested in another girl, and to whom will she come running?” He grinned.

Maggy huffed. “Why Josephine Williams? You can do so much better, Victor. You’re only interested in her money, obviously, but there are plenty of other rich, ignorant girls around campus you can easily fool.”

Victor shook his head. “I want her. I already have all access to her family, her mother is basically eating out of the palm of my hand. It’s just Josephine who needs a bit…persuasion.”

Maggy took a sip of her coffee. “So, what’s in for me?”

“I know of those little issues you have with her…” Victor raised an eyebrow. “Jealousy is the perfect word for it.”

Maggie pursed her lips, but didn’t say anything.

“And I have no doubt you would be delighted to see how little Miss Jo loses everything…”

A smile played around Maggy’s lips.

“All you have to do is to help out a bit”, Victor continued. “It will probably take a little while to get her and her boyfriend to break up, but with your help it will work. What do you think, Miss Abbenworth?”

Maggy scrutinized her fingernails. “Count me in, Mr Gray.”

~~~

It was already evening when Liam arrived in London. He didn’t even have time to get changed because he had to take the train back to Oxford, and since it was a public holiday the train came at the weirdest times. There was only one more train to Oxford, at nine, and he would make it before twelve if he would get this one.
He hurried up and sprinted to the train station. His shirt was dirty, his hair was tousled and he noticed a hole in the sleeve of his jacket, but he really didn’t care at the moment. He managed to get the train just five minutes before its departure. The train had just left London, when it came to a halt.
The same moment an announcement came from the speakers. “Due to technical problems the train has to be stopped until further notice. We apologise for any inconvenience.”

Liam sighed. “You’ve got to be bloody joking!”

((Sorry this is not my best post. I might come back to it and rewrite it, the context would be the same just the words will be better))


Jo tried very hard to enjoy the time with Lorelai but it wasn’t that easy. It was New Year’s Eve and Jo was on the party on Campus, but so far no sign of Liam. It was nine in the evening. Jo sighed, this party sucked. She really hoped Liam would have been back by now.

“Hey, you are Josephine Williams aren’t you?” Maggy grinned friendly at Jo.

“Yes, but I’m leaving. Sorry.” Jo got up, but Maggie grabbed her hand.

“Stay just for one drink. You know we can be friends.”

Jo never had many friends so she stayed. Maggy served her one glass punch after the other. It was sweet and tasted of fruits. They were sitting away from everyone.

“So where is this boyfriend of yours?” Maggy found the soft spot that turned on the tears.

“He is not hear isn’t that all that matters.” Jo was babbling. Maggy had tricked her into getting drunk. Jo was sobbing heavily, her hand eye coordination was gone. Maggy giggled, her job was done here. “You know I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is just sick of you and found a better girl than you. I think there are better people to be friends with, then you.” Maggy got up and left a confused Jo alone.

“Wha? No-ho. Pease come back. Oh my I feel funny. Liam, pease I need ya.” Jo was huddled on the stairs not being able to have a clear thought. She felt very weird and helpless. Each time she tried to get up the room was spinning. Victor was standing in the door frame watching her, just in time when she fell over her own feet. “Whoa, whoa let me help you. Where is the boyfriend of yours?”

“I dunno.” Jo fell into Victor’s arms and grasped on to him. “Don’t go, please.”

“No worries I’m here for you.” Victor patted her back and let his hand slowly wander down her back. “You are so fine-looking , I really want you.”

“I feel so funny Victor.” Jo mumbled.

“I know that’s why I’m here for you.” Victor was basically undressing Jo already in his mind. “Josephine it will all be fine just let me help you. I will make everything right again.”

Victor was stroking Jo’s cheek bent down and kissed her, his kiss quickly turned into a passionately kiss. Jo was too weak to push him away no matter how much she tried.

No, no that is wrong! Go away!

After those incompetent idiots had fixed the technical issues of the train, Liam arrived in Oxford fifteen minutes to twelve, almost an hour later than he was supposed to arrive. If he wanted to see Jo before the new year started, he had only once choice left; run. Luckily for him the building where the party took place wasn’t too far from the train station, but he still needed to hurry up.
It was exactly five minutes to twelve when Liam arrived at the party, breathing heavily from the running. His eyes wandered around the room, but all he could see were unfamiliar faces of snobby Oxford students or geeky looking wallflowers…
…and Victor kissing Jo in a corner.

Suddenly it got very quiet around him. He couldn’t hear the music anymore, the voices of the people around him seemed to fade away and he didn’t even notice that a girl accidently stumbled and bumped into him. All he noticed was that his heart stopped, which, of course, didn’t really stop, but it felt like it.
Jo had spotted him at the other end of the room, and they looked at each other for only a second, but this second felt incredibly long. And then Liam turned around and left the room. Normally he would have confronted Jo and asked her what was going on, but he felt this was unnecessary, because it was obvious what was going on. It didn’t look like Victor was forcing himself on her, it looked like she was actually okay with it. And that’s why Liam didn’t interfere. Jo didn’t look like she was fighting against Victor, she didn’t even look like she wanted to defend herself.
There was a second reason why he didn’t interfere. He hated thinking about it, but maybe this was right. Maybe Victor was better for her after all. And Liam was the one who stood in the way.

“Liam!” He heard Jo’s voice, but he didn’t turn around. “Liam, please wait!”

“Not now, Jo”, he said coldly, but when she didn’t respond he turned around and saw her lying on the grass.

“Jo!” He ran to her and knelt down. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I feel so…I’m so dizzy…” She looked incredibly pale. “I’m so sorry, Liam, I don’t…I…I”

“Are you drunk?”

She nodded. “I didn’t want him to kiss me, I really didn’t. I just…I’m too dizzy…and he was there…he just kissed me…” She started to cry. “I’m so sorry, I’m really, really sorry, I…”

“Shhh…” He pressed her head gently against his chest. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not…” She looked up to him, and then turned her head away to throw up, still continuing to apologize.
The same moment the clock struck twelve, and fireworks lit up the sky over Oxford.

“Jo, it’s okay”, Liam said while he stroked her hair.

“No, it’s not okay…”, she said between crying and puking.

Liam searched for a tissue, but of course he couldn’t find anyone. He took off his jacket and put it around Jo so she would be warm. He rubbed her back gently. “Happy New Year, Jo.”

“What?” She looked up at him, completely puzzled. “It’s already…? Oh no!”

“Great start into the new year, isn’t it?” He smiled at her and pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry, Liam, please forgive me!”

“I already did, Jo, you can stop apologizing.” He lifted her up carefully. “Now let’s get you home.”

“Liam…” She pulled at his sleeve. “Thanks…”

“For what?”

“You came on time…” She smiled weakly.

Liam kissed her on the forehead. “Yes I should have been here hours ago. How did you get drunk anyway?”

Jo sighed, she had difficulties following him and she kept falling over her own feet. “Come here.” Liam picked her up and carried her the last part of the way home.

“Maggy. I… She said she wants to be my friend, but she was really mean. I was scared that you don’t come and then… Victor came and he… Liam?”

Jo was sitting on their couch now and she was shivering and crying again. Liam quickly got a glass of water and sat down next to her. “Here drink small sips it will make you feel better.”

Jo took a few small sips. “Liam? He said he wants me… but it… he said it… like… like I’m a thing. Liam I’m scared of him…” Jo choked on some water.

“Whoa, slowly.” Liam held her close. “He will never hurt you, ever again. Come on lets go to bed, you will feel better after you slept.”

“Liam did you hear what I say?” Jo looked desperate at Liam.

“Yes I heard you. And I swear if I had heard him say any of this I would have punched him. As long you don’t want him, I will always protect you from him.”

“I never want him, ever! He is a bastard!” Jo said hotly.

“Okay, now come on you need to sleep. Please, I’m worried seeing you drunk.” Liam helped Jo out of her shoes and trousers. Jo cuddled into his arms. Liam felt her shaking, to calm her down he told her stories the one he had written the book for her.

The next morning Jo woke up before Liam. She sneaked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, it was still dark when she ran against his bag. A few papers fell out. Jo kneeled down to pick them up when she read in the twilight the brochures, brochures for asylums but all of them were in other countries than England.

“No!”

Jo was trembling and suddenly wide awake.

“Liam! I don’t need those. I’m fine. I mean I even went on this party all by myself. I don’t need an asylum. I am fine!” Jo was hyperventilating. She never thought he would shift her off into an asylum. She was not crazy, maybe a little nervous but for Christ’s sake she got kidnapped.

“I’m not crazy!” Jo was sobbing and feeling helpless. She didn’t know what to believe anymore, what if she was crazy but didn’t know it? “Liam?” It was a scared pleading.

Liam got out of bed, seeing Jo walking around the flat hysterically. “What is it?”, he asked and yawned. He was extremely tired and not quite awake yet.

“I’m not crazy, Liam!”, Jo yelled at him.

He obviously had no idea what she was talking about. There was no way she was still drunk, so why was she acting so weird?

“You saw it yourself, I’ve improved, Liam! I really did!”

“Improved what?” He rubbed his eyes.

“The past weeks I went outside, I went to the wedding, and the Christmas party, and that party yesterday… I don’t need to go to any of those places!”

“What places? Jo, what are you talking about?”

She held up the flyers for the mental institutions. Liam was wide awake now.

“Oh crap…”

“I don’t want to go, Liam...please don’t make me go there…” Tears were running down her face.

“Jo, those flyers are not for you…” He sighed.

“They are not?”

He shook his head.

“Wait…is there something you didn’t tell me?”

Liam looked uncomfortable, and Jo’s heart started to race.

“Is this…”, she looked down at the flyers. “…for you?”

“What? No!”

“Liam, what’s going? Who is this for?”

“Your father asked me to help him find good places for your mother”, he said.

“My mother?” Jo looked confused. “What’s wrong with my mother?”

A lot. She freaks the hell out of me.

Liam cleared his throat. “She’s not doing so well lately. You’ve been through a tough time, so your father decided not to tell you until you were better.”

Jo sat down on the couch and looked at the flyers. “I don’t believe it…”, she mumbled. “My mother is fine.” She looked at Liam. “She must be, right?”

Liam sat down next to Jo. “How are you feeling?”

Jo didn’t look up, but she calmed enough down to lean against Liam, who put his arm around her. “My head hurts and I’m confused. Is mother really that bad?”

“The bad, kind of sick feeling is from all the alcohol you had last night and yes your mother is really not well. That’s why she wasn’t on the Christmas Eve party and many other occasions. Your father told me about the lost children and erm… Mr Williams told me that their oldest son you know the one why your parents got married, he… is erm alive.”

“What!?” Jo looked shocked at Liam.

“Yes. I know that what I said too, your father made me promise not to tell you until you are well enough. His name is William and you mother gave birth to him in Germany. He got adopted and had a very good live, but your father lost him a few years after you were born.”

“I have a brother? That is old enough to be my father? And a mother that lost her marbles?” Jo sounded exhausted and Liam got worried that it was too early for her to find out.

“Jo are you okay?”

“Yes, I think so. Liam you’re not going any time soon again, are you?”

“No not at the moment.”

Jo nodded. “Dad told you about all the miscarriages and the stillborns?”

“Yes but he made me promise. I think he is just worried about you. I mean you went through so much in the past month and…”

“Liam I’m not blaming you for not telling me. I’m glad you didn’t. I think if you would have told me a few weeks ago I couldn’t have handled it. Liam?”

“Yes Jo?”

“You know I’m better right?”

“Are you kidding? You are yourself again. I’m less worried about you. Well okay that is a lie. I always worry about you when I know I’m not around. But yes I know you are better.”

Jo nodded again before she turned around, the flyers dropped to the floor when she kissed Liam. And to his surprise not just those gently shy kisses he got from her the past months. Liam pushed her gently back on the couch, taking one step at a time to make sure Jo was okay with what he did. For a moment she stopped him, but when she looked at him she took off her shirt. Oh man how much he had missed her. He never wanted to rush things but he had really missed playing with her. It was boring to play with himself. He kissed her again, and the kissing went on quickly to more.
It was bright outside when they cuddled on the couch under the blanket.
Jo’s head was resting on his chest.

“I forgot how much I like doing this with you.” Jo blushed.

“Really? I never did.”

Suddenly the doorbell interrupted them.

“Holy Saint Patrick who is ringing at… it is already noon?” Liam looked surprised at the watch in the kitchen, he saw that Jo was a little pale. “Hey you get dressed and I deal with the visitor, okay?”

“Thanks.” Jo kissed him one more time before she disappeared behind the bookshelf.

“Hello who is there?” Liam said into the doorphone.

“Hi Liam it’s me Ricky. Jo and I have a study date and I’m a little late.”

Oh.
Ricky.
Liam looked down at him. He wasn’t wearing anything. And Ricky was on the doorphone, waiting to be let inside.

“Um…Ricky…can you hold on for a second, I need to get dressed first, I’m not wearing anyth..um….”

Did I just seriously tell him that?

Silence.
He quickly needed to say something before it would get more embarrassing. But the more nervous he got, the more he messed up. And it only got more embarrassing.

“I was just busy with Jo…um…I meant…”

“Liam, will you just shut up?”, Jo yelled in the background, picked up her clothes and ran to the bathroom. “Did you just tell Ricky that you’re naked?”

“Shut up, Jo!” Liam blushed. “Oh…I’m still talking to the doorphone…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, Ricky, if you’re still there…um…wait a second, okay?” He quickly grabbed the next thing that came close to fabric he found on the floor and hurried so much that he didn’t actually realize that it was Jo’s girl panties and not his. He quickly pulled over his shirt, stumbled towards the door and opened it.

“Hey, sorry man, I was…um…yeah…”

Ricky’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

Come on, dude, have you never seen another guy in boxer shorts?

“I…um…ah…” Ricky’s cheeks turned bright red. “You…um…want me to leave? I can-“

“No worries, man, just come in!” Liam actually pushed Ricky inside. The older boy almost dropped his study materials and didn’t know where to look.

Jo opened the bathroom door. “Liam, is it possible that my panties are still out th…oh Jesus!”

“What?”

She looked from her boyfriend to Ricky, and to her boyfriend. “Come here!”

“Why?”

“Now!”

“Okay, okay…” He walked to Jo who pulled him into the bathroom and closed the door.

“I’m very sorry, Ricky!”, she yelled behind the closed door, then turned around and looked at Liam. “Did you look for those by any chance?” She held up his boxers.

“What? But I…” He looked down.

“You’re wearing my panties, you idiot!”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Oh?! Poor Ricky! You probably scared the hell out of that boy.”

“Holy shit!” He grabbed his boxer shorts. “Why does that always have to happen to me?”

“Why didn’t you even notice that you’re wearing my underwear?”

“I’m sorry, I was in a rush.”

“Obviously…Now give me back my panties, I have to check if Ricky is still alive!”

Jo was more or less dressed, she was still barefoot and wasn’t wearing a bra under her shirt, which Liam noticed with a grin just when she walked out of the bathroom.

“Ricky? Are you okay?”

Ricky was starring out of the window. “I’m not sure yet, would you mind not looking at me too closely. Please. I know you are Liam are together but still, this was… something.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry. We kind of got carried away.” Jo picked up the flyers for the mental institutions and stuffed them back into Liam’s bag.

“Jo?”

“Yes Ricky? You wanna have some tea or something?”

“No not right now, but do you know that Victor is watching you flat?” Ricky looked insecure at Jo.

“What!?”

“I saw him when I came, okay I thought I saw him and when I came over here to the window I really saw him and he left as soon he notice me watching him. Was it wrong that I told you?” Ricky looked worried at her, he never meant to harm her. Jo was his best friend.

“Tell Jo what?” Liam -now proper dressed- stepped behind Jo. He didn’t see her face but he knew there was something that scared her, was it Ricky?
Ricky sighed. “I saw Victor watch the flat.”

“What!? You’re kidding?”

“No I’m not he was standing down there by the tree and…” Jo walked away from Liam and Ricky and went to the flat door. She unlocked all locks just to lock them again and then checking they were safely locked. Yes she was better but things like that made her very nervous. “…and when he noticed me watching him he left, but he was really there. I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t true. I promise Liam!”
Ricky seemed worried that Liam could think he is saying this just to make him talk to him.

“I know man, I believe you.” Liam tried to sound calm, the calmer he stayed the calmer Jo would be. “I gonna make some tea and you to start studying, you have exams in two weeks. I will also make some breakfast for Jo and me we didn’t had any yet. You wanna have some toast and tea, Ricky?”

“Tea would be nice, but no toast for me.” Ricky went to the kitchen table he knew by now not to rush Jo, she had still a few issues that would need some time. A couple of minutes later when Ricky had unpacked all his notes she sat down next to him, taking out the notes for all the books and things like that.

“Sorry that we overslept.” Jo mumbled.

“That’s okay. I’m… erm I’m glad you could do it.” Ricky smiled knowingly at her. While Liam was gone she had talked with Ricky, that she didn’t want Liam but she wasn’t sure if she could have him. Jo smiled back at Ricky.

“Wait you talked with Ricky about this?”

Jo blushed. “No, never.”

“Seriously Jo I hope you didn’t tell him any details, no offence man.”

“None taken.” Ricky felt a little weird, while Jo looked defensive at Liam. “After this morning it is not necessary that I tell him any details he saw everything he had to see to draw a picture of you, just as naked as the David’s statue.”

“Guys, guys. Why don’t we just drop it and forget that this morning started that awkward? Jo you and I study and Liam I bet there is a book you can read while we do that or you might even join our literature discussion.” Ricky saw how much the two loved each other and even though when he knew this fighting wasn’t real fighting he preferred to see them cuddling than arguing.
The rest of the afternoon went on quietly and the three teenagers had a good study session. Liam wasn’t worried at all about Jo taking the exams. She knew everything she could know. But this thing that Victor was watching their flat bothered him a lot and he would investigate this a little more. As soon he had time.
Liam had this really happy goofy grin in his face that evening after Ricky had left and Jo was taking a shower while he was watching cartoon. He had his Jo back. She was still shy like at the beginning but he was sure she did not sleep with him because he wanted her to do it. She wanted it too, and she liked it just as much as Liam had.

After Jo came back from the shower, dressed in his boxer shorts and one of his Bugs Bunny shirts, he pulled her down next to him and put his arms around her.
“You smell like vanilla”, he said. “I’m getting hungry now.”

Jo giggled. “I’m not edible, okay?”

“I’m not so sure about that…” He grinned. “Jo?”

“Hm?”

“You have no idea how glad I am that you’re back.”

“And you have no idea how glad I am to be back.” She smiled.

A couple of days later, after Jo spent most of the time studying for her exams, and Liam spent more time distracting her from studying because he had a hard time remaining quiet after he finally had her back, Jo got a phone call from Graham who was at home for a couple of days and invited the two over to his country house just outside of Oxford. He had an apartment in London as well, but he decided to stay in the country where it was more peaceful and nice after a long period of traveling.

“Why do you look so nice?”, Liam asked when they got into the car.

“Do I?” Jo pretended not to have noticed that she picked out a very lovely dress despite the cold temperature.

“You didn’t dress up for anyone particular, did you?”

“No, silly!” She tried not to blush. “And why are you dressed so nicely?” She noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual comic jumpers but a nice, plain shirt. “You didn’t dress up for anyone particular, did you?”

“You want me to drive back to the flat and put on my ‘Kiss me I’m Irish’ jumper?”, Liam asked sarcastically.

“I wouldn’t mind.” A smiled played around Jo’s lips.

They drove about twenty minutes until they reached a beautiful, charming-looking country house.
When they rang the bell Graham opened the door and greeted the two friendly. Liam still had no idea why he felt so weirdly comfortable around that man, as if he has always known him.

“I haven’t been here in a while”, Jo said as Graham led them into the comfortable living room with the fireplace and a huge piano.

“Well, I haven’t been here in a while myself. I’ve been barely in England the past months, and when I’m here I usually go to my apartment in London. Do you want tea or coffee or anything else?”
“Tea please”, Jo answered, then she noticed that Liam was distracted by the framed landscape photos that hung on the wall. “Do you want tea?”

“What? Yeah…sure…” He was still looking at the pictures while Graham went into the kitchen.

“What is it?”, she asked.

“It’s just…I could swear I know that place. It actually looks a lot like the area I grew up.”

“Maybe it is somewhere in Ireland?” Jo suddenly noticed a couple of pictures on the mantelpiece of the fireplace. She got up to take a closer look. “Graham?” She turned around as he came back with the tea. “Is she your girlfriend?” She held up one of the pictures showing a pretty, brunette woman.

He smiled. “That’s Mary, she’s my fiancée.”

“What? I had no idea you were engaged! Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Jo. We got engaged last summer.”

“Does she live here?”

“No, she’s American, and she still lives in Boston. She works in the Boston Museum of Fine Arts.”

“Wow…” Jo put the picture back and sat down next to Liam whose eyes were still glued to the other pictures. “Liam?” She pinched him softly. “Wake up!”

“Oh, sorry…” He cleared his throat. “I was just lost in thoughts.”

“Graham from where in Ireland are you?”

“Would you like some biscuits?”Graham asked polite.

“No thanks.” Jo looked from Liam to Graham, was it just her or were both were tapping with the right hand on the knee. That must be a coincident.

“Jo are you listening?” Graham looked at her. “Oops sorry no. You were saying?”

Graham smiled. “I said I would love to hear you play, it is so long I heard you play. Did you lately write anything new?”

Jo blushed. “Um yes. I wrote a couple of songs, but they are all not good.”

“Jo what’s the first rule?”

“Never say you are not good, you are always perfect just make mistakes.”

Graham smiled. “I would really love to hear what you wrote. Pick one or two songs you like the most.”

Jo smiled shy and sat down at the piano. It was the most beautiful piano she knew and more she remembered all the good times she had with it.
She gently touched the keys and began to play. “I wrote this song since some time now.”

Jo didn’t look up, she was for some time now thinking about this song, planning on playing it for Liam again.

“I… um… I wrote this for Liam. I played it at the summer concert, but Liam wasn’t there.”
This time Jo sang also the written lyrics. “I know there are a many mistakes in it, but…”

Graham smiled. “Oh how much I miss you play Jo. Next time when I am a little bit longer in England and have more time I want you visit me in my studio in London. I want to record you playing. Please.”

Jo smiled shy. “I’m not that good.”

((I'm sorry, I couldn't resist, I just had to put this here))!


“Not good?” Graham laughed. “Liam, what do I have to do in order to convince your girlfriend that she’s completely wrong?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I keep on telling her she’s great, and she won’t believe me either”, Liam replied.

Graham shook his head. “Young lady, you still don’t believe that you have a talent, do you?”

Jo blushed. “Yes, I know…” She got up, walked to Liam and pulled his arm. “Come on, it’s your turn.”

“No, I’m really not that good.”

“You just sound like me!”

“Well, yeah, the difference is, you are good, and I’m not.”

“What are you talking about? You’re very good! And I bet Graham will agree with me on that.”

“He doesn’t need to hear that, it’s really not good…” He looked at the older man who watched the teenagers with an amused smile. “Seriously, you don’t want to hear me playing the piano.”

“Actually I would love to. And you don’t have to be scared of me, I won’t stand behind you and look over your shoulders while you play. But of course you don’t have to, nobody forces you…” His eyes met with Jo’s. “Right, Miss Jo?”

“He sometimes needs a little push”, she defended herself and grinned.

Liam sighed. “Okay, okay, but one song only.” He sat down on the piano stool and started that one song he couldn’t get out of his head since the very first time he heard it. Jo watched him with a smile, but then her eyes wandered to Graham, and for a moment she wasn’t sure if she just imagined it, but did he actually look sad?
When Liam was done, he quickly got up and sat down on the couch again, so that Jo wouldn’t get the chance to make him play another song.

“Good job, Liam”, Graham said, and his facial expression changed again. “You played it really well.”

“Thanks…” He looked a little shy. “Jo like all the songs Jo taught me, but this one is my favourite.”

“Is it?” Graham smiled. “My fiancée doesn’t like it actually.”

“Really?” Both Jo and Liam looked surprised at him.

“Well, because she knows it’s dedicated to someone else, even if this was a long time ago. But you know, women…”

Jo grinned. “Oh, I know what you mean…” She shot her boyfriend a sideways glance.

“What?” Liam raised his eyebrows.

“Do you think I would like to listen to a song that you composed for another girl?”

“Why not? If it sounds nice…”

She pinched his nose playfully. “Idiot.”

“Oh, I meant to tell you, Jo!” Graham turned to her. “You might want to go upstairs into the library, I have something for you that you might like. I brought it with me from the States.”

“What is it?”, she asked curiously.

“Go and check.”

She didn’t hesitate one second, she just turned around and ran to the library.

Graham chuckled. “I see, her love for books hasn’t changed a bit.”

“Yeah, that one is a book fanatic”, Liam said while his eyes wandered back to the pictures on the wall. “Is your name a pseudonym or something?”, he asked. “It doesn’t sound very Irish.”

“No, it’s my real name. What’s your last name? Let me guess…” Graham grinned. “O’Connor? O’Sullivan? O’Brien?”

“Almost.” Liam laughed. “O’Doherty.”
He wasn’t sure but it almost seemed as if a shadow crossed his face, but when Graham noticed that the younger boy looked at him, he quickly cleared his throat.

“Well, that’s…a common Irish name as well.” He smiled, but it seemed forced.

“Yeah, why couldn’t my mother give me an awesome name like Finn McCool?”

Graham chuckled. “Unfortunately it’s our parents who make that decision. Are you named after your father?”

Liam huffed. “I don’t know, but I doubt it…”

“You don’t know?”

“He ran away as soon as he heard that he was going to be a father”, he replied. “My mum never mentioned his name, so I don’t know if we have the same name, but I seriously doubt she named me after someone who let her alone with a baby.” Liam had no clue why he told a stranger that. He hated talking about his family, he barely even mentioned any of that subject to Jo.
Graham’s face changed. He looked serious, almost uncomfortable.

“I mean, who does that? Who runs away and leaves a pregnant woman alone?” He almost mentioned that there was no way he would have left Jo when she thought she was pregnant, but then he remembered that he was talking to someone he didn’t even know. He was so caught in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Graham’s pensive face.

“What was your mother’s name?”

“Catherine. Anyway, I just don’t get how…”

Graham didn’t listen as Liam continued. He grew increasingly pale. He just stared at the floor for a while, but then he slowly looked up and studied Liam’s face. Looked for similarities. Similarities between Liam and his mother. Similarities between Liam and himself.
That Irish boy in front of him, that boy who had more knowledge than anybody else , that boy with the same dark brown hair, and the same blue eyes, that boy was no other than his own son.

Jo found the package in the library it was a large and heavy.

“Gee, what did Graham get me? A road stone?”

She ripped the brown paper away and found a huge book underneath. “Oh. My. God.”

She lifted that book with both arms, Actually she struggled to carry it.

“Graham, are you insane? I read about it in a book.”

Graham smiled. “I thought you like it.”

“Like it? I love it. The Oxford English dictionary - limited edition, this is the best book ever.” Jo let it drop on the table. “But I think I’ll need help to carry it to the car. It weights as much as I do.”

Liam laughed. “Are you sure the book is not heavier?”

“Hey, be nice to me. I hope you didn’t talk Graham to death.”

“Me? Never.” Liam grinned at her.

“Graham when do you have to leave England again?”

“Too soon.” Graham looked for a long time at Liam.

“Yes I think it is time for us to go. Liam would you mind taking my dictionary to the car.”

“Sure. It was really nice meeting you Graham.” Liam and Graham shook hands.

“Yes it was really nice to meet you too Liam O’Doherty.”

“Jo?”

“Yes Graham?”

Liam was already on the way to the car.

“Would you mind meeting me tomorrow alone?”

Jo looked a little confused. “Yes of course. Is something the matter?”

“No everything is alright. I’ll meet you at noon in the library. Don’t tell Liam about it.”

Jo and Liam drove back into town. “So what do think about Graham?”

“Actually, I never thought pianists were cool guys.” He grinned. “Seriously, I thought they were geeks.”

“You’re a geek, Liam. I’m a geek too.”

“Well, yeah, but we’re not the typical kind of geeks.”

“Oh, so we’re not socially awkward?”

Liam huffed. “Whatever…”

“So you like Graham?” Jo looked at her boyfriend.

“Yes, I do. He’s a really nice guy. I don’t like the fact that he’s so damn handsome and you obviously don’t mind staring at him, but yeah, he’s great…” Liam shot her a smile.

“You know what I noticed today?”

“What?”

“You two constantly did the same things.”

“What do you mean?”

“You both do that thing with the hand.”

“What thing?”

“Tapping your hand on the knee. And you both rub your eyebrows a lot, and touch your right ear.”

“What?” Liam looked at her.

“You probably don’t notice it, I hardly noticed you doing this before, but it was really funny watching the two of you, because you did those things at the exact same moments.”

“Really?” His focused on the road again. “Weird…”

The next day Jo told Liam that she needed to go to the library because she wanted to meet with a professor to go over a couple of things since she had missed so many lectures, and Ricky’s notes were not complete because he was busier writing Liam’s name inside his notebook instead of taking actual notes.
Jo left shortly before noon, and Liam was alone for a little while. Those were the moments where he wished he could be in his flat in London, because nobody cared if he used his room as lab and worked on experiments, but he couldn’t do that in Jo’s flat, because he always ended up burning things. He didn’t tell her how much he missed doing experiments, burn stuff, come up with highly explosive formulas…and he also missed Dick, sort of. Not that he would ever say that. So instead of working on any dangerous stuff he found himself drawing sketches of inventions in one of his notebooks. He also looked at Jo’s notebook that she gave him for Christmas. He looked at it for very long, and very intensely. That girl could draw! And looking at the sketches of herself made him happy…
After a while Liam had fallen asleep on the couch and didn’t immediately wake up when Jo entered the flat. She stood next to the couch and watched him quietly, just like the very first time he had slept over. Liam blinked and opened his eyes.
“Hey…” He smiled sleepily at her, but then he noticed that something wasn’t quite right with her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head and took a deep breath. “I just realized that I’m really behind work, and that is very upsetting.” She took out some of her notes. “I hope you don’t mind, but I really need to study.”

Jo sat down at the kitchen tables surrounded by books and notes, in between she had her tea cup that Liam kept refilling. She saw the sketches for new inventions, she knew that he missed his flat because he felt bad for doing his experiments here.

I can’t believe this. How am I supposed to do this? Why did he tell me? I can’t lie to him, Graham should have never told me. Why did he tell me before he told Liam?

“Jo?” Liam looked at her, she was starring at a white sheet not realizing that nothing was on it. “Jo! Do you hear me?”

Jo looked up.

I can’t, sorry.

“Liam I want you to sit down.” Jo pulled him to the couch.

“Jo what’s going on?” Liam looked worried at her.

“Liam? I know you don’t like to talk about it, but you mother did she ever mentioned anything about your father. Not a name but anything?”

“No and you know that.” Liam wanted to get up, but she held him down.

“Liam listen to me, the song Graham wrote To my Heroine this heroine was Catherine O’Doherty your mum. Liam Graham Hart is your father. Remember I noticed yesterday the similarities and thought they were funny? He asked me to meet him today, and… he told me. He is your father that ran away. Liam you have to believe me I never wanted to hurt you but I can’t keep something like this from you. Even though it was not my secret to tell. I am so sorry!” Jo was crying, she felt awful for telling him this, Liam like Graham as her piano teacher but now he hated the man. And she felt stupid for crying, but she was truly sorry because she knew it would be easier to hate his father -what she wanted to do- when he would be an arse. But Graham was a nice guy.

Liam just looked at Jo for a while. It made her nervous because she couldn’t read any emotion on his face. Not one.
“Jo…”, he finally said quietly. “I know that you’re curious and can’t stop asking me about this stuff, but I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t make any jokes.”

“What?” She held her breath. “You think I’m joking? Liam, this wasn’t a joke...”

He looked into her eyes, and he saw it. He saw that she wasn’t lying.
Liam got up, ran out of the flat and jumped into his car. Despite the fact that it was freezing outside he went without a jacket. He completely ignored the speed limit or any street signs for that matter, and arrived at Graham’s country house in no time. He didn’t even bother locking the car, he just ran to the door and rang the bell a couple of times, but nobody opened. “Graham!” He knocked heavily on the door, but still no response. “You better open that bloody door or I’ll break in!” He didn’t waste any more second in front of the door and walked around the house to see if he could get inside from the back…and then he saw Graham in the garden, just walking out of the garden shed. He immediately stopped, and they both just looked at each other for a brief moment that seemed endlessly long. Liam didn’t even feel the cold.
“Tell me Jo didn’t say the truth…” He wanted to be strong but he sounded like a little boy. “Tell me that she came up with all that stuff, that this song I played the entire time wasn’t written for my mother, that you’re not…you’re not…” He couldn’t say that word, he just couldn’t.

“Liam…” Graham took a deep breath. “You know Jo, she wouldn’t lie.”

He didn’t react. He didn’t even blink. He looked like he had even stopped breathing.

“I met your mother when I just started my career and began travelling around. I loved her from the first moment we met, and we were together throughout that entire summer, but then I had to leave Ireland because of work. I wanted to propose to her, but before I got the chance she told me she was pregnant, and then I…” He paused for a moment. Liam still didn’t move. “I was scared. I just started my career, we were both very young and definitely not ready for this…and I just…I did the biggest mistake in my life. I just left the day after she told me. I left a note behind, but that was all. The past nineteen years there wasn’t a day I didn’t regret what I did, and I kept looking for her, but I couldn’t find her because she moved a lot and wasn’t in Ireland anymore by the time I looked for her.”

Liam stared at the ground. He couldn’t look at Graham anymore.

“Every time I saw a child I looked if I could see Cathy in him or her. I didn’t even know if you were a boy or a girl…but I never stopped looking for you, or your mum.”

“She’s dead.”

“What?”

Liam looked up. “She’s dead. For almost five years now. She couldn’t even be buried because she drowned in a storm, and he body was never found. So you can stop looking for her now…”

Graham looked shocked at the younger boy. Before he could say anything Liam continued.

“Let me tell you something…I spent most of my childhood in Australia, New Zealand and the States. I never connected with anyone my age because for the other kids I was just this freak who built solar systems instead of playing football, and nobody understood my accent anyway. But I didn’t care. In all those schools I attended we had those horrible ‘father days’, where you had to bring your father to school and he would explain in front of the entire class what his job was. I was the only one who didn’t bring anybody. But I didn’t care. In America, where we lived in bloody suburbia, surrounded by perfect families consisting of a husband, a wife, two or three children and a golden retriever, my mother was the only single mother there, and I was the only student in school without a father. There was only one other student, but his father died of cancer. I never cared that I never had a father cheering for me at sport competitions, picking me up after school, attending any of my science fairs…I really never gave a damn. I never asked my mother questions about it, because I simply didn’t care. I had my mother, I didn’t need anyone else…” Liam stopped because he needed a moment before he could continue. “But what I cared about was the fact that my mother struggled every single day to get us through, and there was no husband to support her. Nobody. She did it all by herself, and I saw her fighting every day. And I knew that it was my job, as the only man in the family, to take care of her. Little kids aren’t supposed to take care of their mothers, but I knew this was my job, because she didn’t have anyone else…” His voice was trembling, and he quickly tried to get a grip, but it was almost impossible. “And you know what? I didn’t do my job. I couldn’t protect her. She’s dead. She did so much for me, she raised me all by herself, she was the only woman who worked, surrounded by a community of ignorant, brainless perky little housewives, because she needed to get us through somehow. And I had only one job, a job that’s supposed to be the husband’s job, not the son’s, but I owed it to her- and I failed. I could not protect her…”

“Liam…”

“It’s a crazy thought…” Liam looked at Graham, aware of his trembling voice. “But she would probably still live if you wouldn’t have left her. She would still be alive because she would have had a husband who supported her. Maybe she would not have left that day for work because she would have listened to her husband…And that’s why I hate you. Not because you didn’t attend one of those ridiculous father days at school, and not because you didn’t play baseball with me like every other dad did with his son…but because you hurt the most important person in my life. And I lost her.” Liam felt tears running down his cold cheeks. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried like that. He didn’t even cry when the people from the social care told him his mother had died. He had never talked about this with anyone, he had always suppressed it, all of it.

Graham walked towards him, very slowly. “I’m so sor-“

“Don’t!”, Liam shouted. “Don’t you ever say that!” He couldn’t think straight anymore, he just started to slam his fists into Graham’s chest. “Don’t ever mention her!” He continued punching him, but he felt incredibly weak, as if every little bit of strength he had just left him. And when he felt Graham’s arms around him, carefully pulling him into a hug, he just buried his face against his chest.
“I didn’t protect her,” Liam whispered. “I just didn’t…”

Graham held his son tight. “It wasn’t your job, Liam. It was mine, and I didn’t do it. I will never forgive myself, and I will never expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I’ve never seen a young man as brave as you are. Thank you for taking care of her when I left her alone.”

Liam closed his eyes, his face still pressed against Graham’s chest. He had reached the point where he just didn’t want to say anything at all. He had finally said everything he had carried around for the past years, things he had never talked about before. And now he just wanted to stay like this, at least for a little while, and not open his eyes until someone would wake him up.