Until I Have To Go

Jo climbed down from his lap and stood sad looking down in front of him. “No, of course not.”

Liam started laughing, and Jo crying. “Oh baby,” he pulled her back on his lap, “that was the most adorable thing you ever did.”

“But is looked hideous and not at all like the girls in the show.” Jo whined and wanted to get away from him. “I’m humiliated.”

“No it wasn’t!” Liam kissed her. “Wait show?” Liam looked at her curious. Jo blushed even more. “In Rome when we split up for a few hours to get souvenirs for each other did you…?”

Jo nodded still crying, while Liam was laughing not because he was mean but because this was incredible cute. “I didn’t buy you anything, I took the fife pounds and went in one of those… shows and…”

“And you watched the girls in the show?” Liam looked at his girlfriend.

“Yes.” Her was voice small and shy.

“That is so sweet.”

“But I suck in it.”

Liam kissed Jo until her felt her smile. “Well yeah you suck in it, but you tried and that means a lot to me.” He didn’t let her say anything and spoil the moment he talked about his feeling. He picked her up and easily sat her down on the bed, pushing her gently further back into the bed.

“And you are so hot in my shirts.” He kissed her, while he unbuttoned the shirt, tracing her body with his fingers. It didn’t matter that their last time wasn’t even an hour ago in the barn. The two of them were like a drug for each other, a drug so addictive that they could never get enough of each other.

It was early in the morning not even seven when someone knocked loudly at their door.

“Josey, Liam? I thought you two love birds would like a breakfast in bed. I’m coming in you better are dressed.”

Tommy opened the door and found Jo –dressed in Liam’s shirt- sleeping in Liam arm. Liam opened his eyes. He hadn’t found his t-shirt last night so he just slept in his boxer shorts. “Morning sunshine. I have breakfast for you two love birds, and I know Jo is grumpy in the morning so I let you deal with her. Tell her she can go riding Lion any time.”

Tommy put the tray loaded with breakfast good next to Liam on the floor and left grinning.

Liam just stared at the door that Tommy just closed behind him. That was awkward. He wasn’t used to people walking in like that.

Jo yawned and opened her eyes, looking sleepy at the breakfast tray. “Was one of my cousins just here?”

“Um…yeah.”

“They always do that.”

“What? Walk in while people are still in bed?”

“No, they bring breakfast up when we don’t show up for breakfast downstairs.”

“That’s nice…”, Liam mumbled. “It was just really awkward.”

“You’ll get used to it.” Jo pulled the blanked over her head.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to sleep.”

“You just woke up.”

“So?”

“Don’t you consider the possibility of slowly getting up any time soon?”

“Only ten more minutes”, she replied from under the blanket.

Liam knew she wasn’t a morning person. He was the opposite. He usually woke up extremely early and annoyed everyone who was still sleeping. Mornings were actually the time of day he talked the most- which really meant something, because he always talked much. There had been many mornings that Dick threw various objects at him to make him shut up, but he always continued.
He just started talking about enzymes and an enzyme’s structure, when Jo kicked.

“Dude, don’t do this to me so early in the morning”, she grumbled.

“It’s not early, the sun is already up and everyone is done with breakfast already. Oh, newspaper!” He took the newspaper from the tray and realized it was Stuttgarter Zeitung, a German newspaper. “Oh man…let’s see if I understand some of those things they talk about.” He tried to read it, but German words looked really, really weird. “Oh, this is interesting”, he said, coming up with his own version of newspaper article: “Yesterday at 2 pm people came to witness a flying object that, after taking a closer look, happens to be a Pegasus that shoots rainbows and sparkles in the sun.”

Jo giggled, pulled the blanket down and watched him. “Interesting newspaper.”

“Tommy, who was so nice and burst into the room, said that you can ride your horse whenever you want to.”

“Oh, I will!” Jo sat up, stretching her arms. “Any chance you’ll accompany me today?”

“Not on a horse.”

“On a pony maybe? They are cute, and small, and –“

“Most certainly not on a pony.” He handed her a plate from the tray. “I will watch you gladly, but there’s no way you get me on a horse, and definitely not on a pony either.”

Jo smiled and snuggled back into the pillows and Liam’s chest. It took them an hour to finish breakfast. It was a rather cool morning Liam was wearing warm clothes and looked a little worried at Jo who was just wearing her jodhpurs, riding boots and a wool jumper, well and her riding helmet.

“Jo won’t you be cold?” Liam was carrying a bag with his camera and a couple of things he might need to take pictures of Jo.

“No I will be fine. When I ride I will get warm.” They walked into the large stable and Jo noticed again that Liam’s nose seemed to be runny. He was fine last night in the paddocks between the horses, also in the straw barn. And then it hit her. “Hay.”

“What?” Liam looked at her confused and with a little puffy eyes.

Jo kissed him. “If you want you can wait outside and… erm check form where you can take the best pictures.” Jo said she was sure he realized that she found out that he didn’t get along with hay. “You should have told me that you don’t like hay. You’ll feel better outside and I won’t be long here. ”

Liam nodded and went outside. It didn’t take Jo long to follow him with Lion, this time with a saddle. She was wearing her riding helmet now and her whip. She mounted Lion and rode a few rounds slowly around the riding place. They both Lion and Jo needed those rounds to warm up and relax. After that Jo rode in walk, trot and gallop over the riding place.

Liam took many pictures of her between he watched her. He didn’t notice that Lorelai suddenly show up next to him.

“Hey, she looks good up there.” Lorelai said watching Jo.

“Yes she is pretty.”

Liam’s comment made Lorelai giggle. “I meant her riding style not herself.”

“Oh.” Liam looked a little embarrassed.

Now Lorelai looked at him. “I didn’t have time yesterday, but in the painting you saw yesterday there is someone missing. My mother Laura who is also in the painting you can’t meet anymore. I guess Jo told you about her. My second big brother Edward isn’t in the painting. Jo never met him either. He was a great guy, wanted always to do the right thing and he hated it when people didn’t treat his family right. He loved playing the guitar and sucked in singing. He said after the war he would like to go to University and study astronomy and maybe physics or something like this. Edward always said he would be the first man walking on the moon. He… Liam do you know why from the first moment I liked you?”

Liam shook his head, but didn’t say anything.

“You look a little like Edward, you are a little like him. You reminded me of him.”

“What happened to him?” Liam whispered.

“He died in the war.” Lorelai whispered back.

“I’m sorry.”

“No not like this he was in the resistance, as all my family. We had hidden underground caves in which we hid Jews. And Edwards was more active and one day, it was 23rd April ’44 he was convicted of treason against the The Third Reich. He was shot without a trail. I guess you saw the flower bed. Knowing your always working brain tries to figure out why we have a flower bed in the middle of the drive way. Father took the stones out and buried them since we were never allowed to bury him, they burned him like all traitors. Edward… Fuechschen was what I called him. He was just eighteen when he got shot. That’s why I look at you and I see Edward again. He was my best friend and I guess I try to put you into his shoes. That’s why I made you right away my best friend. Liam you mean a lot to me and I really miss talking to you, I miss you. I don’t want you to hurt Jo or pressure you to do anything but I really hope that one day you and I can be friends. You know getting married is great but it is still terrifying. And I need someone I can trust that this time John doesn’t stand me up again.” Lorelai smiled while she was watching Jo. “You know she won’t get off this horse until you tell her she has to, right? Make sure she eats properly.”

Wow.
That was much to take in at once.

The entire time since he knew Lorelai, she had not mentioned her deceased brother once. He had no idea that he reminded her so much of him. And she really wanted to be friend with him. Technically they had been friends the entire time, but a friendship where one person was obsessed with the other and put her on a pedestal and called her his ‘Goddess’ was not actually what someone might call a normal and healthy friendship. Before he met Jo he thought that Lorelai would always be ‘the one’, even though he always knew he had not a real chance and the age difference would have been weird. Not to him, he couldn’t care less, but to the others.
But since he met Jo he noticed that it was slowly getting easier for him not to think of Lorelai ‘that way’ anymore. He wasn’t sure if he could simply be a friend to her without admiring her, but she really wanted him to, and he didn’t want to let her down. That way he wouldn’t lose her, even if it meant that he was nothing more than a friend to her. But at least she wanted him back in her life. She said she missed him, and that meant a lot to him.
Liam focused on Jo who looked so happy that he seared that smile of hers into his brain so he could always remember it.

“If I could have two maids of honour, I would make you my second one, but I can’t put you into a bridesmaid dress, that would be mean…”

Liam grinned. “No, better not. But I appreciate the fact that you consider me as an option.”

“Liam, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”
He already knew that it was going to be an awkward question just from the tone of her voice.

“I know that you and Jo are still very young, and I really don’t mean to freak you out or put any pressure on you but I’m just curious and…well…” She paused for a moment to put the question in a way that wouldn’t freak him out, but that was not so easy. “Have you ever thought of, I mean, when you two are older…”

“Hm?” He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“I would really like to see you in our family. You know what I mean?”

He was still not entirely sure, but slowly getting there. “Ahem…”

“Please forgive me if I’m too straightforward and actually ask you this, but can you imagine staying with Jo and-“

“I didn’t plan to break up with her”, Liam said quickly. “Did someone say that? I never-“

“No.” She shook her head, smiling. “What I meant was, can you imagine marrying Jo one day? When you two are a bit older, of course. It would just mean a lot if you stayed in this family, and I have no doubt that you would make her happy.”

She noticed that Liam grew pale. There were a couple of things that every boy his age dreaded to talk about.
Marriage.
Babies.
Parents-in-law.

Lorelai realized that he did freak him out. “I’m sorry, Liam, I really don’t want you to think that we all expect you to propose any time soon, that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to know if you ever thought about the possibility, one day, not now of course.”

“Ahem…sure…”, was all Liam could say at the moment, increasingly pale. Of course he had thought about the future. He wanted to see Jo at his side when they were old. He wanted them to make jokes about how stupid they were when they were young and ignorant. He had thought about all those things…but completely skipped that whole ‘fluffy white wedding part’. Girls that age loved planning every single detail of their future wedding while boys tried to ignore it for as long as possible. And they were the poor bastards who had all the pressures on their shoulders, after all, they were the ones who had to propose. On the other hand, he still ignored the thought about marriage because he still wasn’t sure if he would ever be good enough for Jo.
He suddenly felt Lorelai’s hand on his shoulder. She smiled warmly at him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask you things like that any time soon.”

He nodded, a bit relieved. He turned his head to Jo who didn’t even look close to be done riding for today. But that was okay. He loved seeing her so carefree. And then it hit him. Could that girl in front of him really be ‘the one’?

Jo enjoyed Paris, she loved Rome but Stuttgart was her personal heaven, and for the first time she could share it with someone. They were already sitting in the train from Dover to London. The entire train ride from Stuttgart to Calais and on the ferry Liam had to listen to all wedding plans. Jo was talking like none stop even when she fell asleep she kept mumbling in her sleep. It took him an hour to realize that Jo not really expected him to answer. He nodded and said a couple of times yes or no. And now on the train ride from Dover to London Jo finally fell asleep, but she was smiling and safe in Liam’s arm. This past three weeks were the most expensive weeks he ever had, but they were also at the same time greatest weeks. He and Jo were closer than ever and it seemed that nothing could separate them.

When they arrived at his flat Dick wasn’t there, all except one of Jo’s suitcases were sent to Oxford. Jo was exhausted from five days nearly none stop riding and sleepless nights. She napped most of the day while Liam was tinkering on one of his inventions and developed the pictures he took. There were many beautiful pictures of Jo between the typical pictures of buildings.
After a calm day of arriving Jo and Liam went to the library, again. They enjoyed their togetherness in London, and here they lived more on Liam’s prize level.
After five days in London it was dinner time.

“Jo? I’m getting down the street to the pub and get us some dinner okay?”

“Mhmm.” Jo was totally absorbed into her book. Liam kissed her on top of her head. He was at the door when she shouted.

“Hey, don’t I get a real kiss?” Liam sighed and kissed Jo more passionately. “I won’t be long.” Jo smiled and nodded, before she went back to her book.
She got up to get another cup of tea when she heard the front door open –in a strange way.

“Hey that was quick, did you…” The horror was written all over her face when she saw that in the frame of the front door was not Liam. She felt as if she knew the face but couldn’t place it, behind the first man were two black dressed men, all three had guns pointing at her.

“We meet at last my dear.” The front man growled.

“No.” Jo turned around and half jumped half fell over the couch her cup fell shattering to the floor, she felt the warm blood run down her arm.

“Miss it would mean a lot to me if you would come with us and we don’t have to kill you right away.”

One of the black men picked her up, he didn’t notice that she had written with her own blood -hel- on the floor.

“No let me go.” Jo fought, scratch and bit the man but she had no chance against him. A cloth got pressed on her nose and mouth, it made the world disappear in darkness. The last she remembered in the darkness was that she got thrown into the back of a car.

When Liam went up the stairs he immediately knew that something was wrong. Their door was open. It was never open. Maybe Jo had opened it, but why? Or maybe Dick had come back in the last thirty minutes. But he would never leave the door open. Liam had a bad feeling.

“Jo?” He dropped the bags and ran to the door where he froze immediately. The lock at the door was broken, some of the furniture was overturned, and glass was shattered all over the floor.
“Jo?” Liam ran into every room, looked behind every curtain, even opened the wardrobes. When he walked out of his room he noticed something on the wooden floor. He knelt down and his held his breath when he realized it was blood. Letters written in blood.
H E L
She had tried to write ‘help’, he had no doubt. Liam’s heart started to race. Someone broke into the flat and took her. He had no idea who would try to kidnap Jo, it made absolutely no sense. And how did they know she was here in the first place? Maybe it had nothing to do with Jo, maybe Dick had been in trouble and someone had come for him but found Jo instead.
Liam ran to the telephone and called the headquarters to find out where Dick was, but they didn’t know it either and couldn’t reach him.
“Dammit!” He dropped the phone and dialled the number of the police. He could barely say a word when someone answered the phone because he didn’t bear to think about the possibility that his girlfriend had been kidnapped. The woman on the other side of the line said that she would immediately send people over, but it drove him crazy to just sit there and wait. Liam walked around the flat, looking for any other hints, but found none.
All of this was his fault. He wasn’t there, he didn’t watch her. He left her alone. What if they would hurt her? God, what if they…He didn’t even want to finish any of his thoughts. He had never felt that helpless in his entire life. And Jo’s parents…how could he tell them that their only daughter was kidnapped because he wasn’t there to protect her? Mr Williams had trusted him, he trusted him in taking care of his little girl. And he didn’t. She was gone.

Jo woke up on lying on moist cold rough stone floor. It was dark. Her head hurt, actually her entire body hurt. She remembered how she fell over the couch and cut her arm.

“Bloody hell!” She sat up slowly, somewhere close by she heard water dripping. She was in real trouble. “Hello? Is anybody there?”

But no answer just her own echo. Jo curled up and tried to stay warm, which was not possible since her clothes were wet.

“Oh Liam this time I’m in really big trouble. Please come and rescue me. Please. God make him find me, I wait and when it takes forever until he finds me. I’ll wait.” Jo whispered wondering why she was here in the first place.

Jo had been missing for five hours. The police assured him they arranged numerous of their best investigators, and they already informed the Williams. All Liam could do was wait- that’s what they wanted him to do. But he sure as hell wouldn’t sit around and wait! Lorelai and John were still in Germany when he called an hour ago from the police station, and they immediately packed and were on the way back to England. They wouldn’t arrive until the next day. And there was still no trace of Dick. Liam really needed him right now, and nobody had any idea where he was.
Liam had spent the past hours in the London police department since he couldn’t stay in the flat because the police had barred it in order to look for any further hints and traces, but Liam was sure they wouldn’t find any signs of the kidnappers, he had already searched thoroughly.
While he was at the police station he flinched everytime he heard the phone ringing or a police officer approached him. He constantly asked if they had anything new, but none of those idiots seemed to take him seriously. One of the secretaries felt sorry for him and brought him food and something to drink, but he wasn’t hungry.

“You have to eat something, young man”, she said.

He shook his head.

“At least something to drink.” She handed him a water bottle without waiting for his response.

He took it and nodded, still not saying anything.

“I’m sure our people will do the best to find your girlfriend.” She tried to sound encouraging. “I’m afraid you can’t do much, but there is one thing you can always do…” She smiled. “Praying.”

A shadow passed over Liam’s face. He wanted to yell at the woman, but he knew she wasn’t responsible for any of that. “I don’t pray”, he replied coldly, avoiding any eye contact with her.

“Well, maybe it clams you down a bit and –“

“I don’t pray!”, he said a bit too loud, and a few people turned their heads. “Praying is bloody pointless!”

“I’m sorry…”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

She put her hand on his shoulder. “If you need anything, let me know, okay?” She went back to her workplace and answered the phone that was ringing.
Liam stared at the ground and didn’t notice Mr and Mrs William rushing through the hallway.

“Liam?”

He didn’t look up.

“Liam!” Mr Williams grabbed his shoulder.

“Mr Williams!” Liam jumped up. He didn’t even dare to look at Jo’s mother who probably blamed him that they were here in the first place.

“We drove here as fast as we could”, Mr Williams said. He looked paler than usual, and worried. “Are you okay?”

Liam wanted to say he was fine. But he wasn’t. He was far from being fine. His eyes wandered to the ground again. “I’m sorry, sir…”, he mumbled. “I wasn’t there to look out for her.” He waited for Jo’s father to start a lecture on how much he disappointed him, when he suddenly felt Mr Williams pulling him into a hug. Liam was so surprised that he just stood there, not even blinking.

“It’s okay, son, I wasn’t there to protect her either”, he said. “Don’t blame yourself.”

No man had ever called him son. And it freaked him out. So did the fact that a man hugged him. He wasn’t used to this. Dick had been the only person closest to be some sort of ‘father-figure’, though neither one of them would ever admit it. Mr Williams took one step back and put his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay…”

Liam neither nodded nor shook his head. He didn’t react at all. Because he knew that wasn’t the truth.

Elizabeth stayed in one of the expensive hotels while Colin stayed with Liam most of the time in the police station or at Liam’s flat. At first Liam felt weird that Colin was with him, he felt it was his fault that Jo was gone. Colin made him eat and sleep as much as possible. “You need your strength son.”


Jo had no idea that she was in this prison since four days. They have given her dry bread and water. The cold, wetness, and hunger made her feel awful. She hugged herself touching the printed Mickey Mouse on the t-shirt she was wearing, it was Liam’s and made her feel safer.
Suddenly the heavy iron door got opened. Jo felt too weak to lift her head, but someone jerked it up by grabbing her hair.

“Come on missy it is time we talk.” A man said coldly. She got seated on a chair a bright light shining right in her eyes. “So missy what do you remember of the little shooting in town?”

Jo thought hard before she remember the shooting she witnessed. The she couldn’t even remember clearly a few minutes after.

“I don’t know. Tow man in a alley, one shot the other, the first one drove off in a black car, the one that was shot in another car. That’s all I know.” Jo whined tears were running down her dirty face. “I don’t know anything, let me go please. I haven’t seen your faces I won’t cause you any trouble.”

“Oh we will help you remember my dear.”

A bucket of ice water got dumped over her head.

“Bring her back in her cell, she will remember what she saw sooner or later we have time they will never find us.”

Jo was paralyzed by the shock and horror. It all seemed very desperate.


Meanwhile in London

“Mister Williams, Mrs Williams please don’t understand me wrong but the active search for your daughter will be given up. There are still a few officers that search voluntarily but after four days of no notice the odds that your daughter is still found alive is very small. I am very sorry.”

Elizabeth collapsed into the arms of her husband. “Lorelai would you mind to bring her back to the hotel?”

“Of course not.” Lorelai took the crying Elizabeth with her. While Colin went outside a few family friends were waiting for news. “Nothing they are giving up the search.”

“But we are not, aren’t we? We are not giving up hope?” Victor asked looking determined at Colin.

“Yes you all can keep looking I just run out of ideas where to look. But if you all excuse me I have to talk to Liam alone.”

Colin took Liam by the shoulder and led him away from the crowd. Victor was organizing search parties and for some weird reason he seemed nicer. “I don’t trust him.”

“Me neither.” Liam mumbled. “Do they really stop searching her?” His voice was hoarse.

“Yes.” Colin sighed Liam tried to hide it but he looked as if he would start any moment to cry. “Liam I’m not blaming you, you thought was save at your flat, I am not blaming you.”

Liam didn’t say anything, and Colin knew that nothing he said would change that Liam blamed himself. “Listen. I told the other including Mr Victor Douchbag they can continue searching but I don’t think they find her by driving through the city. I think we need someone like you, John and Dick. Here, this are the details for a bank account I have for emergencies, there is enough money on it to finance whatever you need. You’ll find her I know you will. You might not understand it now but one day you will understand why I trust you. You are a good man Liam, just make sure that never changes!” Colin left Liam with the documents of the bank account trying to figure out how to find his girlfriend.

Liam stared at the bank account documents in disbelief. Mr Williams just handed them over as if they were random notes from his astronomy lectures.

“But sir…”

“I have to take my wife back to Waterfall Downs, she’s in really bad shape.” He paused for a moment. “I trust you completely, my boy.”

Liam watched him going to his wife who sat in a chair next to Victor. Mr Williams helped her up carefully and led her out of the police station. Now only Liam and Victor were left at the police station. Victor got up and walked to him.

“Why are you here?”, Liam asked before the older boy had any chance to say something.

“I want to help finding Jo, of course.”

Liam hated the fact that Victor called her ‘Jo’, but that wasn’t important at the moment. He didn’t trust him at all. There was no way he suddenly changed from one day to the next and turned out to be a nice and concerned guy. Liam knew that something was up, he just didn’t know what it was. He wanted him to back out, but on the other hand he needed every help he could get. Unfortunately that help didn’t always come from people he wanted it to come.

“You can’t do much here right now…” There was no way he would tell him about his methods and who he was working for, so he needed to get rid of him someone. He really didn’t need that guy snooping around in his business. “But if you just keep handing out flyers and ask around in Oxford, that would be good.” Liam made sure he didn’t see that he was just holding the information of Mr Williams’ bank account in his hands.

For a moment Victor just looked quietly at Liam and didn’t react. “You know that she would have been safer with me in the first place”, he said coldly.

Liam looked as if Victor just hit him right in the face. He didn’t even try to argue with him. Victor was right.
The moment Victor turned his back on him, he saw John coming through the main door of the police station.

“You got everything?”, he asked, looking at the documents in Liam’s hands.

He nodded.

“Okay, let’s get going.”

“Is Dick back?”

“Not yet, but we can’t waste any more time. Here.” He handed him a map that first looked like a normal map of London.

“I already have a map.”

“Not one like this”, John said. “This is map specifically showing the most hidden places in London. You can’t imagine how crazy some of those hideouts are!”

Liam looked up. “Where did you get this?”

“Oh, I have my ways…”

“But what if she’s not in London anymore…”

“We just have to try and hope for the best, okay? And hide the map, we’re in a police station, they shouldn’t know about it.”

He nodded and folded the map together.
As hard as he tried, he couldn’t get Victor’s words out of his head. If Jo would have been with Victor instead of him, she would be safe now, and none of this would have happened.

It has been over a week, eight days to be precise. In the beginning Jo was scared but now she got angry. She was hammering with both hands at the iron door yelling her lungs out. “Let me out! I know nothing! I swear when Liam finds me he will so kick you asses!”

“SHUT UP!” Her kidnapper pushed the door open which pushed her back into the wet dirty ground. “Just tell us what we want to know and you may go.”

“I don’t know anything Jerk!” Jo shouted back. Her kidnapper hit her in the face, her nose started to bleed. She got jerked into the investigation room and threw her on her typical chair. The kidnapper kneeled down in front of her. He wiped gently the blood away. “Just tell us what we want to hear, and I make sure to let you go.”

“I don’t know anything. Really I promise and I never lie, ever.”

“You are beautiful did anyone ever tell you that?” He touched her face gently. “This could be so much nicer for you.”

Jo closed her eyes, pictured Liam and answered slowly. “I don’t know anything.”

“Hey we are not yet done with her do that later, bring her back in her cell. And until she told us what we want to hear she won’t get any food.” A second man barked, he was the one that broke into Liam’s flat. Jo got thrown back into his cell causing a few new bruises and scratches. Jo started crying, she knew Liam would find her but he could hurry up a little.

~~~~~

Victor was at Oxford giving out flyers with Jo’s picture on it. “So who is she?” A blond girl asked him snotty.

“She is the daughter of Professor Williams, he is the next candidate to become the new dean of Oxford University. She got kidnapped eight days ago. Have you seen her?”

“No. Are you her boyfriend?” She snarled.

“Not officially, she seemed to have a think for morons but I would be her best choice.” He said.

“Well I hope she will be found. I would really like to meet her.” She threw her hair coquette back and left Victor.

Liam was literally going crazy. It was the twelfth day, and still no sign of Jo. He just didn’t get why the kidnapper didn’t ask for money, that would have made sense at least, since she came from a well-known, wealthy family. It obviously wasn’t the money after all. Which meant the situation was worse than he thought. If her kidnapper didn’t take her for money, then he kidnapped her for other reasons that Liam didn’t even want to think about.
Dick came back on the that same day, finding Liam packing some of Dick’s weapons. He normally would never touch them, but right now he didn’t care. He sat on the floor, the map next to him, surrounded by several guns and rifles. He had drawn on the map and calculated the distances between the hideouts. He knew she was still in London, he just knew it.

“What are you doing?” Dick just stood there and watched the boy on the floor.

“I’m going and won’t come back until I found her.”

“You’re taking all my weapons with you?”

“No, not all.” Liam still didn’t look up, he took the map and marked a couple of places he hadn’t checked yet.

“And what is your plan? You just take off, find the guy who kidnapped her and kill him?”

“Yepp.”

“That plan stinks.”

“You do that all the time, killing people and stuff…So I might as well-“ He couldn’t finish his sentence because Dick grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up.

“You better not be running around alone through London and kill someone!”

“But-“

“They will kill you first, you idiot! So you get this stupid idea out of your head, kid, you hear me?”

Liam backed away from him, picking the map up from the floor. “I have to find her”, he replied, avoiding any eye contact with Dick.

“You know she could be dead by now.”

Silence.

Liam stared at the floor, trying to get rid of the words Dick just said. He already thought about it too, but he always got rid of this particular thought as soon as he felt it coming up. And he had never said it aloud.

“She’s not.” He looked up slowly.

“I’m just realistic here, cases like that-“

“She’s not dead!”, he yelled, grabbing his bag and stuffing three guns in it. “I’ll find her.” He wanted to walk out the door when Dick held him back. “Let me go!” He tried to break free from his grip, but he was much stronger. He had to fight tears, which was really embarrassing for him, because he didn’t want to cry in front of anybody, especially not Dick. “I have to do this! You have to let me do this!”

Dick loosened his grip, but he didn’t entirely let go off him yet. “You’re a pain in my neck, you know that?” He sighed and picked up one of his rifles that Liam had left on the floor. “Now show me that bloody map.”

The last days she hadn’t seen anyone well she saw the younger one of the kidnapper. He kept holding and touching her. She was to hungry and weak to fight him anymore.

“You are so beautiful girl. Are you sure you don’t know anything about the shooting?” He asked her gently. She hated herself for it but she was glad that he was holding her it meant she felt some warmth in the wet cold place.

“No.” Her teeth were shattering.

“Shhh it is alright, I’ve got you. You will stay with me forever.” He whispered sentimentally.

Jo cried silent tears. She couldn’t fight anymore but in her mind the only safe place she had left she was yelling and fighting this jerk. And more she was praying that God would help Liam to find her.

I always, always love you Liam, please hurry up! I don’t know how long I can hold on. Liam!

Jo was mentally since a few days not there anymore otherwise she fear and disgust of the younger kidnapper would have killed her. She was hiding in this one special place she hadn’t even told Liam yet about. It was her Neverland.

They had looked for an entire day and night without stopping. They went to the places Liam circled on the map, and other shady places Dick knew. Dick got annoyed the longer they stayed up and ran from one place to the next, but he didn’t want Liam to go to any of those places by himself.
It was exactly two weeks ago when Jo got kidnapped. Most people were announced dead by that time. But he refused to think about that possibility. He would not lose her. There was no way he would lose her.
Liam unfolded the map again. It felt like they’ve been in every single corner of London, and he slowly started to worry if his intuition was wrong after all and Jo was not in the city anymore. He would blame him for the rest of his life if he wouldn’t find Jo. Just as he blamed himself for the death of his mother. He knew he wasn’t responsible for her death, but he always felt like he could have prevented her to go on the boat with her marine research crew. He remembered that he saw a storm coming that day, but nobody else did because the day started beautifully. He, however, knew instinctively that the weather would change, but he let his mother go.

Suddenly he felt something weird, like an invisible force lifting his head and turning it towards the big white building they were standing close to. “The National Maritime Museum…”, he mumbled. Why did he have the feeling that Jo was here? It made no sense.

Dick seemed to think the same thing. “I don’t think someone would hide her in a museum where thousands of people walk through every day.”

“No…” Liam shook his head. “But underneath.”

“What?”

“There’s a cellar underneath!”

“How do you…”

“Here!” He pointed at the map. “Why didn’t I see that earlier?” He was just about to run, when Dick held him back.

“Slow down, kid. Why should she be there, out of all the hidden places we looked at?”

Because I know she is.

“I just…”, he couldn’t explain it. “Please, we have to check!”

He rolled his eyes and followed Liam who ran towards the building. “Okay, according to the map the entrance to the cellar is on the west end, so the opposite of the main entrance.” He started to run, almost crashing into a group of tourists. He didn’t need long to find a bronze door on the ground in a corner, well hidden. He tried to open it, but he was not strong enough. Dick helped him, and together they managed to lift it up.

“Hey!”, he held Liam back. “Don’t just run down there!”

“But-“

“I’ll go first!”

Liam had no chance arguing with him because he already got out his gun and climbed down. Liam made sure nobody could see them, then followed him. They walked through a dark, wet, narrow corridor and tried not to make any sounds. After they walked for about five minutes they arrived in a main room without any windows, just small lamps hanging on the ceiling.

“Get down!” Dick pushed Liam to the ground and shot. Liam hadn’t noticed the dark figure appearing on their left. The man collapsed, and Dick was just about to walk towards him when a second armed man appeared. Liam sat up quickly and shot him two times in the leg. He jumped up, ran to the man he had just shot, and took the gun away from him. The man was in his mid-twenties and looked surprisingly harmless. He was groaning and tried to touch his bleeding leg, but Liam pointed the gun at his face.
“Is she here?”

“Who?”

“You know who!” He suddenly noticed another door that was slightly open. “Dick, watch them”, he said, turning away from the others and ran to the door. In the middle of the empty, dark room he saw Jo lying on the ground. She was cuffed and didn’t move. She looked dead.

“Jo!” He ran to her and pulled her up. She still didn’t move. “Jo!” He pressed her against his chest and touched her ice cold, bruised face. “Please wake up, Jo! I’m here! You hear me? Jo, wake up. You have to wake up, please!”

She was running over field, her hair was long again and the grass was bright green. She was alone but that was okay, she knew he would come.
Suddenly, carried the wind a voice to her. “Jo!”

“Jo!”

Jo looked up, she knew this voice she knew it so well. The wind was playing with her hair touching gently her face and there was this smell, this smell of… of a leprechaun.

“Please wake up, Jo! I’m here! You hear me? Jo, wake up. You have to wake up, please!”

Liam! The green field vanished around her, the warm sun disappeared, and she opened her eyes to more darkness. The darkness vanished to and all she saw was him. She grabbed his shirt and held on to it as if she was falling, when she would let go of it he would just vanish again. But she couldn’t let him vanish this time. Not this time!

“Liam!” She whispered hoarsely. “Don’t go.”

Liam pressed her tight against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere!”

He picked her up and was surprised how much lighter she was. Dick had tied up the man that was still alive. Back outside they called the police and an ambulance. Jo never let go of Liam’s shirt. He tried to calm her down that she would let go of him, but she didn’t care. She would for nothing let go of his shirt, not even when she lost her consciousness again.
In the hospital she got a couple of medications including something that calmed her down. She let go of Liam’s shirt but her vitals got worse as soon a nurse had pushed him out of her room.

“Doctor she is coding.” Shouted another nurse. It was highly confusion and nothing worked until Liam had sneaked back in and took her hand. Suddenly her heartbeat was back to normal, her breathing was deep and calm and she let the doctors examine her.

“I’m here Jo. I’m not going anywhere. Everything is okay you are safe!” Liam whispered. Someone would call her parents and whoever needed to be called. Dick would deal with the police and the kidnappers and the only job Liam now had to do was keep her safe.

She was since a day back when she woke up, disoriented in the hospital room. It was raining like crazy outside, which made it so dark in her room.

“Don’t hurt me please.” Jo said suddenly without another sign that she was awake. Tears were running down her face and she was shaking like a leave in the wind. “Please, don’t.”

“Jo. It’s me Liam. I’m not hurting you. I could never hurt you.” Liam was standing right next her bed but he didn’t touch her. She was confused and scared when she looked at him. “Liam?”

“Yes, it’s me.” He smiled. “Want me to say something funny in Irish to prove it?”

A weak smile appeared on her pale face. “It is you…”, she whispered.

He squeezed her hand gently. “I’m sorry, Jo”, he said quietly.

She wanted to say something, but it was hard for her to speak.

“I won’t leave you alone anymore.” He looked at the doctor who came in to take a look at the patient.

“How are you doing, Miss Williams?”, he asked, smiling at her.

“Better”, she replied.

“We’ll keep you for a couple more days, and then you should be good to go.”

She shook her head. “No, please…”

“Sorry?”

“I want to go home.”

“But you’re still very weak, Miss Williams. You should stay at least two more days until we can release you.”

“Can’t she leave tomorrow?”, Liam asked. “If she stayed here one more night…”

The doctor sighed. “We’ll have to see how she’s feeling in the morning.”

“Josephine!” Mrs Williams burst into the room, followed by her husband. “Oh, my child!” She ignored Liam and put her arms around her daughter. She started crying, which surprised him, because he didn’t expect her to be the type. He always knew her from her cold and distant side. Colin walked to him and put an arm around him.
“Thank you for bringing back my daughter.”

Liam nodded. Of course he was glad that Jo was back, but he couldn’t get rid of that one particular thing that Victor had already pointed out. Jo wouldn’t have been in that situation if she was with someone who could keep her safe. Colin walked over to her bed and kissed her on the forehead.

Liam wanted to give Mr and Mrs Williams some alone time with their daughter and left the room quietly, but as soon as he leaned against a wall next to the door, he heard Jo crying his name. He walked back and saw how scared she looked.

“Jo, what is it?” He sat down next to her and took her hand.
“Don’t go…”, she whimpered.

“I’m not going anywhere”, he said, ignoring Mrs Williams who looked almost reproachfully at him. Mr Williams frowned as he watched his daughter. She was obviously terrified as soon as Liam left her side, and that worried him. He was scared thinking about what the kidnappers had done to his daughter.

“You know, Josephine, Victor had been so good the past two weeks”, Mrs Williams said. “He was so worried about you and always looked after me when I felt bad.”

Liam bit his lip and avoided looking at Jo’s mother.

Jo slowly turned her head to her mother, looking at her quietly. She didn’t respond, she only pressed Liam’s hand tighter, as if she was scared that her mother would take him away from her. He smiled at her encouragingly but on the inside he couldn’t stop blaming himself for what happened. He wasn’t sure if he would ever stop blaming himself for that. And Victor’s sentence was running through his head the entire time:
You know that she would have been safer with me in the first place…

Colin and Elizabeth didn’t stay long but Colin told Liam they would be back in the morning. Jo slept little in the night. She often slept shortly before she woke up screaming again. It confused Liam that she begged not to hurt her but at the same time she was pressing herself so close to him. He was worried that he might cause her to feel scared, but each time he tried to give her some space she freak out just more.
Jo was the first patient on the round of the doctor. “I have to admit it Miss Williams I don’t like how you look, but I think your recovery will have be better when you are at home. So I release you, but against my advice. You parents have to sign the release papers.”

Colin signed Jo out of the hospital.

“Josephine you should come back to Waterfall Downs. You will be safe there and Anne can take care of you.” Elizabeth said insisting.

Jo was dressed in a jumper of Liam and held Liam’s hand tight.

“No.”

“But Josephine! You are not able to live in this ridiculous unsafe flat.” Elizabeth stepped closer to Jo and grabbed her hand suddenly. Jo shrieked and backed away from her own mother. Colin was alert he wanted to comfort his daughter but Jo had a minor breakdown. To Liam’s surprised she fled into his arms, hiding her face in his chest and held him tight. For a moment Liam waited if she would freak out again before he slowly embraced her. He felt her breath slow down. Elizabeth looked hurt, but Colin nodded.

“Jo please can I talk with Liam for a moment alone? I promise he will stay in your view.” Colin asked gently without touching his daughter. For a moment it looked as if she would say no but she nodded, she sat down next to her mother while Colin ad Liam walked a little away from them.

“Josephine I really think you need stability.” Elizabeth wanted to put her hand on Jo’s knee but the terror in her daughter’s eyes stopped her. “Josephine you really need to…”

“You can’t lock me up mother.” Jo closed her eyes so her mother didn’t see the terror and panic she felt to be locked up again somewhere.

“It doesn’t need to be Waterfall Downs. Maybe you would feel better in an institution, those special facilities they know how to take care of you.”

Jo looked shocked at her mother…

Meanwhile

“Liam listen, I know you blame yourself but look at her, she doesn’t let me or her mother close to her. The only one she trusts is you. Call her crazy yes maybe, but I never thought she is not safe with you. I want you to be honest with me, the days and weeks will be tough. Do you think you can take of her? Make sure she eats, sleeps and goes back into a normal life? Elizabeth and I will always help you as much we can.”

Colin looked questioning at Liam. Wondering if this was not too much he asked Liam to do. Colin sighed. “I know that Elizabeth is convinced that Victor is the best choice for Yvaine, but no matter how much he seemed to have changed. I don’t want him, he sucks. But I wouldn’t blame you if you say it is too much.”

“No, sir, it’s not too much”, Liam shook his head. “I want to take care of her, there’s nothing I would rather do. I owe it to her…”

“You’re still blaming yourself. It wasn’t your fault, boy”, Mr Williams said.

Liam didn’t want to argue with him about that. He really appreciated that Jo’s father didn’t blame him and trusted him enough to take care of his daughter, but that didn’t stop him from blaming himself.

“I think it’s the best for Josephine to slowly find back into normal life”, Mr Williams continued. “It will only get worse when she comes with us to Waterfall Downs, where she is cut off from the world. Now I’m aware that it will need some time, but one day or another she has to get back among people, go to her classes, pick up her normal life again, and that won’t happen if she stays with us, basically locked away in a huge prison. So it’s the best for her to get back to Oxford.”

“I understand.” Liam nodded. “I will do my best and –“ He couldn’t finish his sentence because he heard a shriek.

“You want to lock me away in a madhouse?”, Jo yelled.

“Josephine, calm down”, her mother said strictly. “Those places aren’t as bad as they used to be. We would make sure that you’d be one of the best in the country.”

“You belong in a madhouse, mother!”

“Josephine!”

“What’s going on?” Mr Williams looked at his wife while Jo ran into Liam’s arms again.

“Colin, look at her. We won’t do her a favour if we just ignore her strange behaviour and push her back into normal life.”

“Strange behaviour? You make it sound like she’s crazy!”

“I’m not saying she is, I just think she needs professional help and would be better off in a special facility where they know how to deal with her cases.”

Liam was glad that Mr Williams was there, otherwise he would have whacked her over the head with a frying pan.

“Her cases?”, Colin repeated. “For Christ’s sake, will you stop talking about her as she’s mentally ill?”

“Look at her, does that look healthy to you? She’s scared of us, Colin, of her own parents. She needs professional treatment…” Mrs Williams looked at Liam. “And she might not be scared of him, but I highly doubt he has any clue how to take care of someone that traumatized and confused as Josephine right now.”

She had a point there. Although Liam had much theoretical knowledge of psychology, he definitely lacked in practical skills. He was not one of those lads with a sensitive soul who could easily emphasise with others, and he sometimes showed an almost indifferent behaviour simply because he didn’t know how to deal with certain emotions. It was his brain that controlled him, not his feelings.
But this was different. This was Jo. And yes, he wasn’t the most sensitive, sympathetic person, and yes, he often said the wrong things at the wrong time, but this was too important, Jo was too important.

“Jo is not going to a special institution”, Liam said determined. “We will go back to Oxford, I will make sure she has everything she needs. If she won’t sleep, I will stay up all night until she falls asleep. I will make sure that she eats and drinks enough, and if she doesn’t want to, I won’t leave her alone until she does. If she gets scared I’ll read Jane Austen to her, not because I’m a big fan of ballroom dances and tea parties, but because this is stuff that calms her down.” He paused for a moment. “I know I’m not a therapist, not even remotely, but I know your daughter and what she needs, and not one of those professionals has any clue, because they don’t know one bloody thing about her.”

It was very quiet for a moment and Liam feared that Mrs Williams would scream at him any second, but to his surprise he had finally managed to make her speechless. She didn’t know what to say, no mean remark, no cynical comment. Just silence.

“Thank you, my boy”, Colin smiled. “You and Josephine should go now. A car is waiting in front of the entrance to drive you back to Oxford.”

“We are losing our daughter Colin!” Elizabeth looked just as weak as her daughter. Colin brushed her hair out of her face.

“We are not losing her. She is still alive. Remember she is the miracle. We had to wait for such a long time for her and now is the moment we have to set her free and hope that she loves us as much as we love her so that she comes back. I’m sure she will come back, she just needs time. Everything will be alright, my dear. I promise!” Elizabeth nodded. The two adults went another way out as Liam and Jo went.

Liam felt Jo calm down, she even managed to feel safe enough just to have his arm around her waist and not hide in his chest.

“Jo I have to get my things from the flat, is that okay?” He asked gently.

“Don’t leave me. Please.” Jo whimpered.

“I’m not. I just don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.” Liam whispered.

“I’m okay.” It was just a whisper and sounded not very convincing. Liam nodded. He had to try and then deal with how she would react. When they walked up the stairs to his flat she walked really slowly but she kept walking.

“Okay I just get my stuff from my room it just will be a minute.” Liam kissed her on the cheek he started singing a song his grandma used to sing just so Jo heard him all the time. Liam thought it worked but suddenly he heard her shriek.

“Don’t hurt, please. Liam!”

She was sitting on the floor crying and very confused. Within no time e was sitting opposite of her.

“Jo, I’m here. Listen to me I’m here, you are safe.” But he didn’t get through to her, she was babbling without any sense. Liam was so busy trying to calm her down that he hadn’t notice Dick coming home. The man looked for a moment at the scene.

“Jo, look at this. There are new locks. No one is breaking into this flat again.” Dick went to the door and locked each lock slowly so that she could hear it. She stopped crying.

“You wanna try the locks yourself?” Dick asked nearly sounding friendly, at least he didn’t sound scary mean.
Jo nodded, Liam helped her up and Dick stepped away from the door to create space between Jo and himself. He pulled Liam a little bit aside. “You need to find things that make her feel safe, the problem here was the door so as long she knows it is safely locked she will be okay. Now get your things I’ll watch her.”

Liam looked surprised at Dick but nodded.

“The door is new too. It is an iron door but still very light and completely silent.” Dick said to Jo.

Jo had stopped locking the door and turned around. The flat was unusual clean. Liam watched the two standing at the door, he was surprised that she didn’t freak out in Dick’s present. Maybe it was because Dick kept always a distance and he never made her go away from the door.

“Hey Jo? I’m ready to go. Dick I will be gone for some time.”

Dick turned back into his grumpy self and went in his room.
The drive from London to Oxford was quiet. All Jo’s things were already here and so was Liam’s Jaguar. Colin had send Anne to unpack everything, fill the fridge and shelves with food and she also brought a couple of childhood thing along. Mainly her quilt aunt Laura made for her -with all the horses on-, and the small toy piano it sounded horrible but when Jo was young and took this piano everywhere.
Liam let Jo lock the door and went through the kitchen to make some tea. Jo hadn’t yet turned around, she still faced the door. “I’m sorry Liam. I really try to be normal, but then something scares me and… and I lose it.” She was crying and felt really stupid.

He walked back to her and pulled her into a hug. “You don’t have to apologize for being scared”, he said calmly. “I completely understand, so please don’t feel sorry, it’s really okay.” He stroked her hair and at the same time checked if the door was really locked. “Okay, you sit down and I’ll make you some tea, all right?”

She nodded, wiping some of her tears away and sat down on the couch, though she still didn’t look comfortable. He switched on the TV so she could have some distraction. Luckily Tom and Jerry was on right now, so there was no way she would get scared of that. She looked at the TV for about a second, but the moment he went back to the kitchen she turned around, waiting for him to hurry up.
While Liam was in the kitchen he tried to think of something that would make her laugh, and usually he could make her laugh with the smallest things, but it was different now. She barely even smiled. Most of the time she seemed absent, as if she’d gone to a hidden place where only she could go, and nobody could reach her. It worried him, but he didn’t show it.

“Here you go.” He handed her the tea cup. “I want to show you something”, he grinned and was about to turn around when she grabbed his arm.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to the bedroom, I’ll be back in a second, I swear.”

Jo looked incredibly nervous, but she let go off his arm and watched the door of the bedroom until he came back, holding something in his hand.
“I thought since we both like The Three Musketeers”, he said, winking at her. He actually managed to raise a tiny smile on her face, but the same moment the bell rang and Jo flinched.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get that.” He went to the door, opening it just a bit. There was a boy standing in the hallway. Everybody always said Liam looked like a mama’s boy, but now he saw the real definition of that word right in front of him. “Can I help you?”


The boy stared at him as if he’d never seen another human being. And then he saw the boxer shorts that Liam was still holding. He blushed, opened his mouth and started to stammer. “I…um…is Jo here? I…I have something for her…” He held up a pile of papers.

“What is that?”

“Some notes from class. We are both in the same literature class…I…well…um…I thought she might have some of my notes.”

“She’s not feeling so well”, Liam replied. “Maybe you can come back another time?”


The boy nodded. “Sure…I…um…I’ll come back when she’s better.” He turned around and almost ran down the stairs. Liam raised his eyebrows and closed the door behind him. Jo looked at him anxiously.

“Who was that?”, she asked.

“A guy who looked like he still believes in Santa Claus. He said he’s in your course and wanted to give you some of his notes.” Liam sat down next to her on the couch, and she immediately grabbed his hand.

“Ricky?”

“He didn’t mention any name, he sounded like his voice didn’t break yet.”

“Yes, that’s Ricky.”

“Does he always stammer?”

She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t.”

Liam shrugged his shoulders and grinned. “Maybe he freaked out because of the boxer shorts I was holding.”

Jo didn’t sleep very well, she just ate when Liam she had to eat, she jumped as soon there was a sudden noise. But after a few days she had build herself a bubble she lived in, a safe bubble in her flat.

“Jo are you sure you will be alright when I’m gone? It won’t be long I just go to the English department and hand in your essay.”

Jo tried very hard not to freak out. “I think I will be okay. Just hurry up okay?”

“Yes I will. I’m not longer than half an hour gone. I promise!” Liam kissed her gently. He had a bad feeling of leaving her alone, but he had to start to leave her alone once in a while.
Jo was sitting on the couch starring at the door, waiting for Liam to come back. It was late in the afternoon, when suddenly the light flickered and went out. Jo was calm for two seconds, before she shrieked. It wasn’t that dark but dark enough, she ran against the couch table on her way in a corner of the kitchen. She was cuddled into herself as small as possible. She tried to calm herself but she didn’t get the songs right she was humming. She didn’t know how long she was sitting in darkness when she heard the door get open slowly.

“Josephine? Are you here? Your mother gave me a key to your apartment just in case of an emergency. Josephine?”

Victor tried to switch on the light but it stayed dark. Suddenly he saw Jo huddled into a corner in the kitchen. He ran to her, but remembered that Mrs. Williams said she is afraid to be touched. “Josephine, what happened? Did Liam hurt you?”

“No.” She mumbled. “Dark.”

“I’ll go and have a look at the fuses, you stay here okay? Here I’m got a flashlight.” Victor handed her a flashlight. Jo nodded and tried to keep the shadows away. Not long and the light went on again and Victor came back.

“See it was just a broken fuse.” Victor smiled, he offered Jo his hand to help her up. “You can keep the flashlight in case this happens again.”

He took two glasses and filled them with milk. Jo was dressed in an oversized Goofy jumper and a baggy pair of tracksuit trousers. She looked so lost at the kitchen table.

“Where is Liam?” Victor asked.

“He is handing in my essay.” Jo mumbled. “Victor, he worries already enough don’t tell Liam about this. He wouldn’t understand it.”

Liam knocked on the door for the English department, which was in one of the oldest buildings on campus. Three other students were in the office, and all of them looked like stereotypical rich brats, wearing insanely expensive clothes and a weird rich-kids-hairstyle. They all looked at him when he handed the paper to the lady in the office, but he ignored them and left the room. He was just checking his watch when someone bumped into him.

“Oh, I’m really sor-“ The boy who wanted to bring Jo his notes a couple of days ago stopped immediately when he realized it was Liam he just ran into. He took a step back and started to blush again. “Sorry…I…I didn’t mean to…”

“That’s okay, man, nothing happened”, Liam replied. There certainly was something odd about this boy. Was he actually scared of humans in general, of was he only scared of him? Since Liam spoke his mind most of the time and tended to be rather blunt sometimes, he couldn’t resist asking.

“What’s your name again?”

“What? My name?”

“Yes, your name.”

“Ricky. Well, it’s Rick, but everybody calls me Ricky.” He looked nervously at his hands.

“Okay, Ricky, is there something about me that scares you?”, Liam asked. “If yes, you’re the very first person I have ever met who is scared of me. I never thought I looked scary, but…”

“No!” He shook his head. “You look nice. I don’t mean nice, well, you do, but what I actually mean is…um…”

Liam raised his eyebrows.

“You don’t look scary, that’s what I meant.” Ricky took a deep breath.

Liam continued looking at him with raised eyebrows, which only seemed to make the other boy more nervous. He definitely needed to lighten up the conversation before Ricky would wet his pants.

“So you go to Jo’s English class?”

“Yes.”

“How old are you?”

“Almost twenty-one.”

Twenty-one? That boy looked younger than him, and he already looked no older than sixteen!

“You have a crush on her?”, he asked jokingly.

“No!” He shook his head hastily. “Not at all, really!”

“Relax, I was just joking.” Liam flashed him a smile. “I’m Liam, by the way.” He gave the other boy his hand, who shook it quickly.

“You’re Irish?”

“Yepp, hard to hide it.”

“And you live…you live with Jo?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You two are…are you her…”

“Boyfriend.”

“Oh. Okay…”, Ricky mumbled.

Liam wasn’t sure, but when he mentioned the word ‘boyfriend’, Ricky almost seemed… disappointed? Did he have a crush on Jo after all?

“Okay, I’ve got to go, I promised Jo to hurry and I’ve already been away for too long.”

“How is she?”

“Still not the old Jo, but we’ll get there somehow”, Liam said.

“Ahem…you have something on your shirt…”

Liam looked down. “Where?”

“May I?” Ricky stepped closer and removed a piece of string from his shirt. “There…” He stepped back again, smiling nervously.

“Um…thanks.” Liam cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. See you later.” He left the building, still a bit confused. Ricky seemed like a nice guy, but he sure as hell was peculiar. At least he was not like Victor…

It was the first time since she knew him she didn’t mind that much that Victor was here. Jo looked on the watch behind him again. Liam was late he said it wouldn’t be longer that half an hour and he was already gone for thirty-four minutes.

“Liam is late!” She didn’t really say it to Victor more to herself.

“Maybe he got distracted. He doesn’t seem to be the most focused guy. He doesn’t even have a real job or a proper education.” Victor was feeding Jo’s confused mind with evil thoughts. “Maybe he is sick of taking care of you and walks on purpose slowly. I heard those Irish boys can’t commit to anyone or anything.”

Jo jumped off her chair and accidently dropped her glass of milk it shattered. She was shaking and looked angry at Victor.

“Jo it is alright no one is hurting you here, Liam is not here.” Victor said gently and pulled her into his arms. She was fighting him, but not strong enough to win. She just retreated into her safety place in her mind and let Victor hold her. She kept mumbling. “Don’t tell Liam! Please don’t tell him.”

Liam was worried when he noticed that flat door was not locked nor closed. And then he heard Jo. “Don’t tell Liam! Please don’t tell him.” He pushed the door open and saw Jo in Victors arms.

What.
The.
Hell?

“Ahem…sorry, am I interrupting something here?”, Liam asked coldly.

“Liam!” Jo pushed Victor away, jumped up and ran to him, but when she pulled his arm she noticed that he didn’t react.
“We had a power cut and everything went dark and I was scared, I’m sorry.”

Liam ignored her and looked at Victor. “And you just happened to be around? What a coincidence…”

“Yes, I fixed the light, nothing more.”

“How convenient”, he mumbled. “But since when does the fixing of electrical problems involve sitting on the couch with someone else’s girlfriend?”

Victor got up and took his jacket. “I just wanted to help, that is all. It would have been cruel of me if I would leave a scared girl sitting alone in a corner, don’t you think?” His eyes wandered to Jo who was holding on to Liam. “See you later, Josephine.” He left the room and none of them saw the vicious smile playing around his lips when he closed the door behind him.

“I’m so sorry, Liam! I was just too scared…”

“You said that already.” He took off his jacket, grabbed one of his huge astronomy books, sat down and pretended to be busy reading.

“Don’t be mad at me, please.” Jo sat down next to him.

“I’m not mad at you”, he replied, his eyes still fixed on the book.

“I’m really sorry, Liam.”

“I’m not mad at you, Jo, and stop apologizing.”

Jo pressed her lips together and stared at her hands. She wanted him to hold her tight, she started to feel really cold.

“So you wouldn’t have told me, right?”

“What?”

“That Victor was here.”

Jo watched him quietly. “Because I’m worried that you get the wrong idea.”

“You know what I don’t understand? Why were you so scared when your parents tried to touch you, but on the other hand you obviously had no problem running right into Victor’s arms?”

She was quiet for a moment. There was something important she hadn’t told Liam yet, and she wasn’t sure if she could ever tell him everything that happened to her during the time when she was kidnapped.
“There are moments when I…” She paused, trying to find words that made sense. “When I was…away…I, um, I sometimes stopped being mentally present.”

“What do you mean?” He finally looked up from his book.

“In order to ignore everything and everyone around me, I just went to this hidden place in my head, where nothing could touch me. But while I was there I didn’t notice what happened around me, or what happened to me. As if I was in trance…”

Liam frowned. “Did they give you any drugs?”

“No, nothing of that sort. I was able to block out everything that surrounded me, otherwise I wouldn’t have lasted much longer. And that’s what just happened with Victor…” She lowered her voice. “I didn’t even realize that he was so close to me. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.” She was close to tears again. Liam wanted to ask her more questions, but she didn’t seem very stable right now, and he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

“It’s okay…” He smiled at her, then leaned forward and kissed her. He noticed that she hesitated, as if it was the first time he kissed her. She was not at all like she used to be shortly before the kidnapping. He continued kissing her, but when he moved his hand slowly to her leg she flinched and pushed him away. “I’m sorry…”, she said apologetically, staring at her hands again.

“Don’t apologize, Jo, it’s okay, really.” He took her hand and pressed it comfortingly. “Do you want to talk about-“

“No.” She shook her head.

“Okay…” He watched her quietly. “I’ll fix you some dinner, okay? Not that my cooking skills have suddenly increased, but I see what I can do. And I won’t poison you, I promise.”

It was late and Jo had just woken up from another nightmare, she cuddled as close as possible into Liam’s chest. Liam was rubbing circles on her back to calm her down. Liam had turned on the bedside lamp so that it was not completely dark anymore.
Jo tears started to dry slowly when she started to whisper.

“It is a green field, and not just green no it is this crazy intense green that is made of hundreds of different greens. There are sheep and horses in the background. The horses have all possible colours and so many different sizes. The sheep are perfect white and fluffy I think there are also lambs but I’m not sure. I’m wearing a white dress it is so comfortable and never gets dirty. There is a warm breeze that can play with my long hair, and I know nothing can happen there. I don’t see any town, or other people just me the field the animals and God. I know I am safe there. And there is one more thing…” Jo went quiet for a moment. Liam thought she was asleep again when she suddenly whispered. “And you are there. Well not really you in person, but the feeling when I’m in your arm. I can smell you. I don’t really know how to explain it, but somehow you are there without being physically there. You are like a star, I see your light but I can’t touch you. I dunno it makes not really sense to me either. I wish I can take you there and when it just would be once for a moment.” Jo went quiet and wondered what Liam thought.

“I know it is silly, never mind. I… um I try to sleep again so that you don’t have to worry about me.”

She didn’t close her eyes, and she didn’t want to sleep she wished she would know what Liam thinks, no actually she wished she would be normal again. She tried to be but it was so hard. Why couldn’t she stop to be scared? She hadn’t noticed that she was sobbing heavily into Liam’s t-shirt.