Miniseries: Jennifer Wilson

21st December 2018 just a few hours after he spoke his wish if they had just looked around at the cemetery...


Jennifer woke up in darkness, she was lying on a wood board or… a box? Why was she in a box even worse a box that was nailed shut. Panic rose in her, she remembered dying, she wasn’t supposed to be awake in her coffin, for the matter of fact she wasn’t supposed to be awake at all. When all of the sudden her entire body burst into fire, a fire that consumed the coffin, she expected to end in an earth hole but to her surprise she was in a very small church.

On a rainy day she fell in the mud.”Daddy help me.” Mark looked at the little girl in the mud, he passed her just to turn around and say in an ice cold voice. “You can do that alone Jennifer…”
“Dammit Jennifer watch what you are doing.” Mark threw towel at her. “Clean it up. Now!”
Jennifer was hiding under her pillows, the thunder was house cracking, and the lightning made her room light as day. She was crying, knowing something wasn’t right. “Daaaaddyyyy.” Wined the little girl, but no one came. She was alone, alone in the darkness.

Jennifer pulled her knees to her chest, she felt cold, and alone in the dark street. She knew it was her birthday soon. She would turn fourteen.

“This can’t be true.”

“You know it is. Look at this…”

A new image appeared in her mind. Mark teaching Dirk, teaching him to use his powers, and worse than that Mark laughing with Dirk as a father would with his son, the son he never had but always wanted.

“Nonononono he is my dad, he is suppose to protect me, not him.”

“But he never wanted you. You were in his way and now he has the son he wanted.”

"I want to go home..." The girl mumbled.


“Go outside…”

Jennifer went very slowly outside ducking behind the headstones, it was raining, she hated the rain. When all of the sudden she saw him and more the boy was there too.

Maeglin wrote:Dirk  tried to duck back behind another headstone, but of course Mark spotted him. He held his arm against him with his other hand as he emerged, head down.

'Sorry, Mark,' was on the tip of his tongue, but he felt like he had said that enough today. "I couldn't sleep, either," he said quietly.  "And...and I hoped she'd be here," he frowned at the earth, disappointed at it for not rendering up his best friend to him, and stepped forward. "You sure she's not?"

"Yeah," Mark said, not looking at him. It was cold in the rain, but it helped mask the fact that both of them were definitely shedding tears but did not want to admit it. "I made sure. That demon was lying to you, Dirk."

Dirk set his jaw angrily, and nodded. He knew exactly how he had been so foolish, but it was still maddening. He knew exactly what his own weakness was, but he was not prepared to say he would never fall for a similar ploy again.

"I know," was all he said. 'I'm sorry, Jenny,' was what he said in his heart, because she deserved his apology more than anyone.

They stood for a while longer in silence.

Then Mark took in a large breath, and spoke. "Well, it's almost morning," he said, checking his watch. "Let's go get some breakfast, huh?"

Dirk nodded. "Yeah." Food didn't exactly sound good right now, but maybe that was just because he was still shaking and weak and food would actually help.

"And after breakfast--"

Suddenly, something small flew at his head. Dirk caught it and peered at it in the moonlight. Keys.

"Then you can go get the pickup back. I want it looking like new."

Ah.

Dirk nodded, staring down at the keys in his hand. Punishment. But also trust. He could make this right, albeit starting small.

"Okay," Dirk said, following after Mark, as he had already moved off. "Where is it?"

"Where we left it," Mark said, smiling and turning his head around to look at him.

Dirk paused, wide-eyed, a bit aghast, until Mark also stopped, and laughed. "Come here, kid," he said, and when Dirk caught up, Mark slung an arm around his shoulders as they headed into the rising sun toward their favorite diner.

"Daddy? I am here, you notice him but not me?" Jennifer was trembling and shaking, she didn’t feel as usual the burning hate in her rising. She actually felt freezing, as if someone had extinguished her fire inside of her. She got up and started running, running until she didn’t know anymore where she was. She curled up in an empty alley hope she would die, freeze to death… but she didn’t…

The next morning…

Jennifer woke up cold, filthy and alone. There was a thin layer of snow on her, she liked snow once upon a time. She was not used to feel cold, but it looked as if she had lost her fire. She wandered through the street, all she had was $18 and some change. It wasn’t much to make a living out of it, speaking of living how was she supposed to live anyway? She was 14, and had no idea what it meant to live on her own. She never really had to worry about from where she got food from, how electricity got to the lamps, she was not bad in doing the laundry, but all that was not that scared her. What scared Jennifer the most was that she felt as if something was missing and she didn’t think it were her powers. She missed her dad and her best friend, but how could she miss those two people that never wanted her?
She turned around, it was early in the morning a bakery got the delivery the drive was just carrying a tray of fresh baked bread inside. Suddenly Jennifer moved into action, with ease she sneaked into the van and stole the still hot buns. She didn’t feel good in doing it but there was no other choice. She saw the jacket of the driver in the van. “I’m sorry.” Jennifer mumbled, took it and ran.

After wandering around for the day, she ended at a garage. There was a sign Help Wanted. She always liked cars, she never pictured herself working with them.

“Hey I saw that you are looking for help. Any chance I can be that help?” Jennifer tried to sound confident but she was cold and scared. A oldish man looked at her kind of grumpy. “You know something about cars?”

“Well no not yet but I can learn. I’m not afraid to get dirty.”

“You run away from home?”

“No one is coming to look for me, no one.”

The man nodded. “Fine. Have a place to stay?”

Jennifer shook her head.

“There is a room in the back, you can have this one. You will work in the office and watch the garage at night. If anyone asks you are my niece. You mainly work for room and board. You wanna have some dinner? Come on let’s go buy you dinner and whatever you need girl. What’s your name?”

“Jennifer Wi...” She looked at him. “You won’t look for my folks will you?”

“I left home when I was 18 and never went back. I’m Ben.”

For a moment Jennifer thought that her dad had once told her when she was very little never to go with strangers, but when she thought about it she wasn’t so sure anymore. “I wish you would just go with the first stranger that stops. It would make thinks so much easier.” Her dad’s… Mark’s voice sounded so harsh. It made her shiver. She and Ben got some clothes for her, stocked up the food in the little kitchen and turned the room in the back into a real home. She kept the garage tidy, did the books, and watched the garage safe at night. In her first summer with Ben her powers came back and it was an amazing feeling. She kept them a secret and never spoke of them even though she had the feeling that Ben knew. He saw her love to play with fire and danger. To her sixteen’s birthday she got her first bike from him and she loved it. The tickling danger when she was racing down the deserted streets. Ben not just taught her to take care of the garage and the bike, but also of herself. He taught her to defend herself and one day shortly before her 18th birthday Ben died. Jennifer didn’t allow herself to miss him, she just took her belongings and her bike and drove off into a future she had no idea what would come. She wasn’t the scared little girl anymore, she was still alone and actually lonely but she didn’t thought about it. As long she kept busy and always close to the fire and danger she wouldn’t feel it. She never cared about people since they didn’t care about her.

You are born alone and you die alone, everything is in darkness.

Winning and losing?

“You have two thousand and you are in.” said the black man with the dreadlocks and sunglasses (it was night who the hell wears sunglasses at night) to her. Jennifer pulled a wad of money out of her back pocket of her very short jeans.

“I’m in!” Jennifer threw the wad in the hat he was holding.

“Okay, mount your bikes and get ready to race. The Pooch will start the race any moment now.”

Jennifer shook her head this guy spoke about himself in the third person. What a weird guy. She went to her bike, it was black with bright realistic flames on it. She didn’t bother to wear anything else than her super short jeans, a tank top and a helmet even though that was just because it looked cool and had the same flames on it.

“You are racing in this? Oh girly this is not a Sunday drive.”

“Oh really I thought it is.” Jennifer closed her visor and got on her bike. She had lost count how long ago Ben died, and the frustrating part was being able to heal herself meant she couldn’t get drunk and there were night she basically drunk a liquor store dry.

“Ready… and go!”

Jennifer was racing down the street in high speed, the houses and people passed her as a blur. She could win $18,000 if she just finishes first. She made the turn first, and was ahead of the rest but the bascule bridge was half opened.

Fine then I jump.

She pushed the little red button that started the turbo speed, it works just as she planned it she drove up the bridge and jumped but her bike was too heavy for jumps it slipped away under her and crashed on the ground.

“Whoa, no, not cool. So not cool.” Suddenly her powers kicked in and she was on fire literally. For a brief moment she felt as if she could fly, but she realized all she did was flying to the ground. Jennifer tried to catch her fall and roll or something, but she simply crashed into the pavement like her bike did the only difference was she didn’t explode like her bike did.
It was a weird feeling to feel your skull shatter, your wrist snap into two, your spleen rip, and several bruises form and know that other people, normal humans, would die if not right away, very soon after this crash, but Jennifer knew in a few hours she would be perfectly fine again. She heard screams from people, they were coming closer. She felt the warmth of her blood running down her waist. She opened her eyes slowly, just as expected the world was spinning. Great she never had to heal a concussion.
Most voices were still burry and so were the faces that appeared above her.

Oh man this time I got it bad.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” She got up. “I guess I didn’t win, that’s fine I gotta go.” Jennifer was barely walking, but she kept walking and as weird as it sound no one wanted to get involved. What were they supposed to do bring her to a hospital and say they met her at an illegal street race? She picked up her dufflebag and found a dark alley and curled up in a corner next to one of those huge waste bins, waiting until she was whole again since she knew that so far nothing had killed her. There were moments when she wondered if she could even die. She had just lost her last bike, she wasn’t a bad drive and often she won the races but for some reason the other racer didn’t like a girl that won load of money. That reminded her. She checked her duffle and was glad to see that all her belonging were still there.
The night was rough, if anyone would have ever told her that healing hurts she would have laughed, but it did hurt as hell. She would have to get changed and buy new clothes she kept setting hers on fire. In a weak moment like this night thoughts went to another time.

“Why do I always think of him when I was injured? He never cared he told me to man up and keep going. How can I man up? I’m a girl. Maybe now… he wouldn’t hate me that much anymore.”

Jennifer sighed those were silly ideas, her father would never want her around. He was happy the moment she was gone. She had to deal with this. She took the bottle of Whiskey out and drank it like water. As usual it had no effect except that she felt stupid for trying to forget. One day her life wouldn’t be such a mess anymore.

One day I find my place in the world….

Don’t cry over spilled milk

Jennifer had managed to win a couple of races and came to a little money. She was living in a small motel room in Brooklyn, under the name Guinevere McLiam. No matter how much her past broke her heart she never used another name. Maybe it was her hope that one day her father would not hate her. At night she was racing, on day she was sleeping. But not today, she couldn’t sleep her mind kept showing her pictures of her past. The worst was the day her father threw her through the glass door that led to the backyard. She sighed.

She wasn’t older than ten or eleven years old and had spilled her milk accidently. Mark groaned, put down his fork. “Clean it up Jennifer. Now!” He sounded colder than ice. Jennifer got up and started crying but cleaned up the spilled milk. “Dad I’m sorry.”

“That is exactly why I say you are useless girl. Go upstairs in your room.” Mark barked at his daughter.

Jennifer looked at her mother for support but Amanda just continued her dinner. Her mother didn’t even care that her daughter was crying and that Mark was barking at her coldly. Jennifer knew it would cause trouble but she just hoped.

“Daddy, please.” Jennifer pleaded. Mark got up tall and dark, like a tower. He pushed her out of the kitchen, but she slipped and crashed through the glass door that led in the backyard. The broken glass cut her left wrist and injured her dangerously.

“I cannot have one dinner in peace, can I? Come here Jennifer!” Bellowed Mark like an order to a soldier. He had grabbed a kitchen towel and wrapped it tight around her wrist, while Amanda called an ambulance. Jennifer woke up in the hospital, she was alone. She knew she had to wait until her parent s would pick her up, and she knew they would be pissed. It took several hours until her father picked her up. “Come on.”

Jennifer followed him. She was grounded for two month and had to do all the dishes and the laundry.

Jennifer curled up in her motel room hugging her knees, she wished that there would be at least someone in the world who cared that she was alive and not just out of necessity. She always wondered how she could be burn in the inside and still feel so cold. She was never warm enough, no matter what she was wearing. She was sorry to be such a disappointed for her parents. Jennifer wanted to be whatever they wanted, but she wasn’t even sure what they wanted her to be. There was one thing Jennifer knew, she felt extremely lonely but knew that she was longing for a real dad and mom, a family.

Out there

Jennifer was sitting in the lobby of her motel, it was December and snowing. Through the big window she saw happy people walk by, many were Christmas shopping they all smiled and had a good time; families, friends, couples, even colleges.
She hadn’t notice that an old lady sat down next to her.

“Child are you alright, you look very sad.”

Jennifer nearly jumped up the couch, before she realized that the old Lady in her grey skirt, beige grandma shoes, an old fashioned flower cardigan and grey curls in a perfect bun. “Oh, um no I’m fine.”

“Would you like a Christmas cookie? They are fresh baked.” The lady sounded sweet like you picture a grandma.

“Thanks.” Jennifer took a cookie and tried to smile a little bit.

“I am Mrs. Potts, you live here since some time now don’t you?”

“Guinevere. Yes I live here since a few years. It is not perfect but alright.”

“Guinevere that is a beautiful name. Why does a young lady live here all alone? If you don’t mind an old woman asking.” Mrs. Potts handed her another cookie and a mug with tea.

“Thanks no I don’t mind. I lost my family a long time ago and somehow I ended up here.” Jennifer liked to talk to someone who didn’t want in her pants.

“A young girl like you shouldn’t be alone. You should be with other young people and live.” Mrs. Potts smiled reassuring at Jennifer.

“Other people don’t understand me, all they do is hurt me.” Jennifer sounded bitter.

“Oh my dear child, just because someone hurt you in the past doesn’t mean it is always like this. You must have some friends or what about a boyfriend?”

“No friends and I never had a boyfriend.”

“I know that you young people don’t commit to one man, are you having a lover?” Mrs. Potts giggled nearly like a teenager would giggle at this topic. For a moment Jennifer considered lying to her but there was no real point for that.

“No I never had a lover, I… I’m not good with people. I better go now.” Jennifer got up. “Thanks for the cookies.”

Jennifer ran to her apartment and locked the door behind her. In all those years had she learnt to deal with mean biker and everyone involved in the secret street races, but only as long she didn’t speak about her past. She couldn’t deal with people that didn’t respect her personal space, which was in her case a lot of space. You say time heals everything, but Jennifer knew that time only made you ignore the pain. She was longing of human contact, but she didn’t dare to make friends. She wasn’t ready to get hurt again, not even from an old lady like Mrs. Potts. She was hiding under the covers, hoping that out there was someone who understood her. Somewhere out there was someone who cared for her.

A long time ago


September 2014

Jennifer would never forget the day she first met Dirk. It was a month since the seventh grade started, after the summer holiday. She never liked school, especially the schools her father sent her. He thought it was a waste of money and time to sent his daughter to school, but he had to so he had picked the worst school she could go to. They even had moved so that she would live in the right district for the school. It was a middle school known for its drug, weapon and behavior problems. She had wondered all summer if he sent her to this school with the hope one day she wouldn’t come home from it.
She just went in the school and already got pushed around, a group a bullies had made her their new favorite victim. This day between all classes and in the lunch break they were mean to her. The first week of school was the worst, but she hoped it would get better, maybe she would find a friend in this God forsaken school. It was lunch break and because the bullies had taken her lunch and her money she was sitting outside trying not to think about how hungry she was when they came back. “I don’t have anything else you can take, please just go.” She pleaded but they laughed at her and started throwing little stones at her until…

“Hey! Go and annoy someone else!” A boy said. For a moment Jennifer was about to worship him like a God, but when the boys actually left her she wasn’t so sure anymore.

“There is a prize for saving you. You can pick either way you kiss me or we drive up to Lover’s point and make out.”

Jennifer starred at him disbelieving her ears. “What?”

“Wrong answer.” He was now standing right next to her, she pushed with all her strength and accidently set him on fire. She panicked and ran away, hiding in the girl’s bathroom. But the boy found her. “What the hell do you think who you are?”

A red light was coming out of his hands and was surrounding her. It was like a bubble it didn’t let her fire through and neither air. She felt as if she was choking and wasn’t at all sure if he would not kill her. Just when she lost consciousness a teacher walked in. She wasn’t sure what happened after that but Jennifer woke up at home, her mother was crying and her father was exploding she was never that hard punished, and the worst thing was. Dirk the boy who nearly killed her became friend with her father.

Best Friends

“Freak! Freak! Freak!” Dirk was following Jennifer home, throwing little stones at her, and once in a while he created a wall with force field so that she ran against it. “You are nothing, your dad hates you, you have no control over your powers, you are useless, and we all would be happier when you die.”

Jennifer was crying, and starting to wish she could just disappear. Dirk started pushing her, and laughed each time when she fell. It was a long way home, and not a happy homecoming.

“What took you so long girl?” Mark bellowed. “You look like a piece of shit. Go to your room right away!” Mark pushed her to the stairs and turned around. “Hello my boy, how was school did you had a good day?”

“Is that Dirk? Come in boy I made cookies would you like one?” Amanda said happily. Both of her parents looked so happy to see Dirk, while Jennifer was silently crying sitting on the stairs. Her lip was bleeding and she had a couple of new bruises but no one cared, no one even saw her.

“Just once I wanna see them smile when I come home, just once.”

Watch out

Jennifer was standing in her small kitchen, making hot chocolate. When she remembered the last time she made hot chocolate. It was not long before the accident and as usual Dirk was there.

“That’s exactly the place where you belong, the kitchen. To more you are not useful.” Dirk sounded spiteful.

Jenny tried not to listen to him, but it was difficult. And it got even more difficult when Mark came in the kitchen as well. “Brat what are you doing here? Did I allow you to cook anything?”

Jenny flinched. “I’m sorry…” She couldn’t say more because Mark hit her hard in the face, so hard that she flew through the room and hit the table with her hip. Her lip was bleeding from where mark had hit her.

“I told you not to be insubordinate!” Mark bellowed angry. Jennifer fell on the floor, she bit on her lip and tried to hold back her tears. She knew that Mark just got angrier when she started crying. She was sitting on the floor. “Goddammit get away from me freak.” He kicked her hard, so hard that she flew to the door.

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry. That is hot chocolate I made it for you.” Jennifer said submissively.

“Get out! Get to your room, you are pissing me off.” Mark took the pot with the hot chocolate and emptied it into the sink. Jennifer got up as quickly as possible. As soon she was out of the kitchen the tears were running down her cheeks…

And even now after all those years tears were running down her cheek. Why did her father just hate her so much? What did she do wrong in her live? The hot chocolate was forgotten, Jennifer was crouched on the floor, hugging her knees she tried to stop crying but the memory of Mark hitting her for no reason. She always tried to be a good girl, but it was never enough. Why didn’t he love her?

Not fair

Jennifer was sitting in the park, not far from the playground. She was crying and desperately trying to get drunk but even after one bottle of Scotch she felt nothing.

“Daaaddy you have to help me. This boy is throwing sand at me.” A little girl with two pigtails fled into her dad’s arms.

“Suck it up girl, the world is not fair.” Jennifer mumbled to herself opening another bottle of Scotch.

“What? Show me the jerk, he will be in big trouble. No one is throwing sand at my little girl.” The father looked angry, well not really angry he pretended for his daughter to look angry. “Hey son, why are you throwing sand at my girl?”

“But Sir she started it.” The boy was standing in front of the father, smiling shy. The girl looked with sweet eyes at her dad.

“Oh man you are just five and already wrapping me around your little finger. No more sand throwing.” The dad chuckled and sat down starting to build a sand castle, the two kids got interested and helped him.

“To fathers that care. You can be happy little one.” Jennifer looked sad. She didn’t like being alone. “I wish I had a dad like this and a friend like the little boy. Someone who really understands me.”

Jennifer got up took her bag of bottles. She felt lonely and wondered if her live would be like this forever. It was confusing she could create fire, even more there was a fire burning inside of her she felt it and she was still cold. Not physically cold, it was complicated to explain but she felt as if her heart was freezing longing to be loved.

“My life is not fair, not at all.”

Deep water

“What do you mean you are not driving a jet ski?” The big bully asked Jennifer.

“Like I said, I am not driving it. I drive every bike and car but nothing on the water.” Jennifer turned around and walked away. She sat down far away from the huge pool. She watched all rounds it wasn’t really interesting and she was glad when it was over. She went to the other drivers and see if she would find someone who would do a real race with her and not this water rubbish.

“Hey you there wanna race me?” Another girl yelled at her.

Jennifer looked skeptical at her. She was standing close to the pool, tripped over a pipe and fell. The water was freezing cold, panic made her unable to do anything, she was gone under water managed to break the surface again just to go under a second time. “Help! Please!” She was struggling against her wet Jeans pulled her down. “Please…. I can’t swim! There is so much water! Daddy please.” In her panic she didn’t realize where she was, she felt like the time when she was about seven and had fallen in the pool. She never liked water and was never a good swimmer. Strong hands pulled her out, her blurry vision went clear, and another racer had pulled her out. “Are you okay?”

Jennifer pushed him away, with weak arms. She felt horrible, not able to use her powers. There was nothing to heal and her fire was extinguished. It would take hours until her fire would burn again. With legs like jell-o Jennifer managed to get back in her car, she blacked out. There was no memory how Jennifer got home, but she woke up still tired and every bone in her body hurt. With a deep sigh and a last thought she fell asleep again.

I hate water.

Rainy day
On a rainy day Jennifer and her dad were taking a walk. She was wearing pink wellingtons and a white umbrella. She was jumping in the puddles and suddenly fell in the mud.

”Daddy help me, please.”

Mark looked at the little girl in the mud, he passed her and turned around saying in a little grumpy voice. “You can do that alone Jenny.”

“But daddy.” Jenny whined.

Mark crouched down not far from her. “Do you know why I’m not helping you this time?”

“No-oo.” Jenny cried.

“Because I want you to become a big girl, and that means you have to learn to try first on your own, but know that I will always be there when you can’t do it on your own! Can you try to get up, for me?”

Jenny nodded, the little girl got up slowly all wet and muddy. “Daddy it hurts so much.”

“I know. Let’s go him.” Mark picked her up and kissed her on her muddy cheek. “I’m very proud of you baby!”

Jenny smiled and leaned her head tired against Mark’s shoulder.



Stormy night
It was a dreadful night. The rain war hammering against the window, the wind made the house howl, the thunder sounded like a giant destroying towns and the lightning let her room appear day bright. Jenny was terrified, crying and hiding under her pillows. When the lightning hit the house the loud crack let her scream. “DAAAADDYYYYY!”

Within second she heard footsteps. All light were off even her nightlight. She felt someone or something sit down on the side of her bed. She shivered heavily and whined freely “Daddy, please, daddy!”

“Jenny?! Baby, come here. It is alright the lightning hit the house and the power is gone out.” Mark didn’t need to pick up his daughter, she jumped into his arm. Sobbing heavily. “Jenny you are doing it again. Remember what I taught you? You have to concentrate or you burn me.”

Jenny nodded, held on tight to Mark’s shirt and calmed down slowly. Knowing that nothing could harm her as long daddy was there to watch over her.


Not forgotten
After Jenny died, both Mark and Dirk had not forgotten her. Jenny was always there, followed them around, she never left their minds and hearts. The two moved on, the pain became less but it never disappeared. Even when Mark was teaching Dirk, teaching him to use his powers, Mark laughing with Dirk as a father would with his son, she was there standing next to them and smiling. They never removed her from their hearts.


Glass
Jenny wasn’t older than ten or eleven years old, she was playing in the kitchen running around with a little fireball following her.

“Jenny no powers in the house.” Amanda said gently to her daughter.

“Sorry mom.” Jenny grinned and let the fireball disappear, but she fell over the basket of fresh washed laundry, right through the glass door into the garden. She was nearly unhurt except a deep cut at her left wrist.
She was rushed into the hospital and needed several stitches.

That same evening she was lying in her bed. “Daddy?”

“Yes Jenny?”

“I’m sorry I smashed the door.” Jenny whispered.

“I’m sorry the door cut you.” Mark whispered back. “I would have smashed it now if you hadn’t done it.”


The day she first met Dirk happened more like this


Best friends
“Freak! Freak! Freak!” Robbie was following Jenny on her way home, throwing little stones at her. Jenny was alone until suddenly a force field shielded her from the stones. “Hey. I thought we talked about this. Leave her alone.” Dirk bellowed. Robbie mumbled something but walked away.

“Are you okay?”

Jenny smiled at Dirk. “Yes I am now. Where were you I waited for you outside?”

“I know sorry I had to help Mrs Norris to carry a couple of boxes to her car.” Dirk smiled apologetic at her. The two had just reached Jenny’s house.

“Cute goody-good boy. I’ll see you later on the field.” Jenny waved and ran inside.

“You are late.” Mark said sounding worried. Jenny went to him, tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek.

“Sorry dad, there was this jerk again teasing me, but I’m okay I got help from my friend.”

“One day the jerk will have to face me.” Mark grumbled.

“Better not, I like having you around and not have to talk to you through bars.” Jenny giggled.”I’m upstairs doing my homework.”


Baking
“Jenny?” Mark’s voice echoed through the house.

“In the kitchen.” Jenny shouted back.

Mark went to the kitchen looking at his daughter. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making apple pie. Well okay I try to make apple pie.” On the counter were several aluminium [ie dishes containing burnt pie.

“At least the pie is well done.” Mark laughed, sitting down to keep her company.

“I’m sorry.” She looked miserable.

“That you can’t bake and enjoy the heat of the oven way to much? No worries, I told you I give you money so that you can buy a cake for your bake sale tomorrow.”

“I know but I wanted at least to try.” Jenny grinned at him while she took another pie out of the oven, just as burnt as the others. They both stared laughing.

Jennifer doesn't remember this day not even in a bad way, she just knows she died but everything else is blank. Maybe because of the severe trauma or because it got removed. Maybe regaining this particular memory would break the spell, or it would just scare her, remembering the moment of her death.

---

21st December 2016

Jennifer got home from school, it was a cold day; well for most other people it was just a normal first day of winter but for Jennifer it was... hell she always felt the cold. Since her powers did a development jump she was a lot more affected by the temperature around her, she was wearing a winter jacket which was bright red and would easily keep someone warm at the North Pole, it was read to make her feel like she was on fire. But that doesn’t matter right now, her parents were waiting for her in the kitchen and Jennifer knew something was really wrong.

“Hey, what’s up? I got my math test back, it’s a C I know but great but I did my best…” She looks from Amanda to Mark. “What’s going on?”

“Jennifer, sweetheart the authorities found out about you. I think it is best if you go with the police to the training facilities. They will train you and as soon you have your powers under control you can come home.” Amanda smiled at her daughter encouraging. Mark was starring at the cup of coffee in front of him, ignoring his wife and daughter for the moment.

Jennifer starred at her mother in disbelieve. “What?”

“You have a choice Jenny. You don’t have to go with the cops. You can run.” Mark didn’t look up, he was not ready to see the answer of his daughter in her eyes. “It is your life Jenny, and you should be the one choosing what you want to do with it.” It was just a low growl of Mark as he often did, and it actually calmed Jennifer down.

“Do I have to go alone?” The young girl asked shyly.

“Yes of course we can’t risk being identified as supers as well. You will be fine Jennifer.” Amanda had set her mind of Jennifer going to remote training faculties, but Mark seemed determined that Jennifer’s best choice was to run.

Jennifer loved both her parents equally, but she always had a closer relationship with Mark. “I have to think about it.”

“Jennifer there is nothing to think about it!” Amanda insisted.

“That is enough!” Mark bellowed at his wife. “Jenny is old enough to decide what her next move will be and I will support her decision whatever that will be.”

The young girl nodded and went upstairs into her room. She looked around it and tried to make a decision, it was a few hours later that she had made a decision. She took her phone and wrote Dirk a text.

I am discovered. I won’t go that peacefully. I’m leaving right away, don’t contact me I will call you as soon I’m safe. Take care! J

Jennifer emptied her school backpack and packed a few personal things before she went downstairs. “I won’t go to the training facilities, no one can say for sure that I’m coming back when I control my powers. I’m running.” Jennifer looked feisty at her parents, a small smile appeared on Mark’s face. He nodded and got up.

“Good, let’s go we shouldn’t lose more time. Let’s go.”

Jennifer smiled, she was glad that her father seemed to come with her. But Amanda was looking sadly at her. “You are doing a mistake.”

“That doesn’t matter Amanda we said we will do what Jenny’s decides to do.” Mark mumbled.

“No you said you will go with her decision. I think her best chance is to go to the training facility. When she runs she will be killed, she will never have a normal live.”

“I am right here you don’t have to speak about me as if I’m not in the room.” Jennifer looked angry at her mother, how could her own mother send her away like that?

Mark pushed her out of the kitchen. “We have to go. Now!”

Jennifer and Mark didn’t get far. They were on the main street when they noticed the cop starring at them, and he recognized Jennifer.

“Run!” Mark yelled at his daughter half dragging her behind him. And suddenly everything escalated, a flying superhero grabbed Mark and pulled him into the air.

“DAD!” Jennifer pushed through the crowd to follow Mark, when suddenly she was standing in an open space tires squealing made her turn around, the truck hit her with a bone crushing thump.  For a moment Jennifer felt the pain spreading through her body but it was only for less than a second. She fell into darkness, it was as if she was in a crowd but everything was a shadow. No clear lines separated the things from each other she couldn’t even say if those shadows were humans of things. She wanted to scream so that Mark could hear her and find her, but she didn’t know how to scream anymore. And then suddenly everything was gone… there was nothing not even herself anymore… until...

Breaking
Summer 2023

“You can’t do this stunt Gwen. You will crash on the other side in the cliff.” A guy with spiky pink hair said.

“Don’t worry it’s a piece of cake.” Jennifer looked at the pictures of the two cliff she was getting paid to jump over with her new bike. She loved her new bike which was actually an old bike since it was first built in 2010 and it would have been too big for her small body but she had modified it so that she could use it.

“This is not a piece of cake, this canyon is I don’t know how deep but dying deep when you fall and it is what hundred fifty feet wide. There are not even proper roads but just dirt. You can’t do this.”

But Jennifer who hadn’t been called by her real name in a very long time didn’t care. She left the guy with his pink hair behind and went outside to drive to the cliff. The world around her wasn’t really visible well it was she never left the road but she didn’t pay attention to anything else. She was thinking about another time. A time when she was not healing and was able to die, but now years later she still got hurt and it still was painful but nothing killed her not even the time when she had cut of three fingers, a band-aid and they all grew fully functional back together. But this was different, the right people (or the wrong depending on how you saw it) knew how to contact her and hire her to do stunts no one else would do and even die if necessary just to wake up a few hours -sometimes days- she still got the money sent to her post-box even when they thought she had died. This time she would get around 10k if she survives and 15 when she dies.
The drive to the cliff wasn’t too long and there was a huge crowd waiting for her to jump.
I have nothing to lose and who knows maybe I finally break in a way that I cannot mend again. There is no one who cares if I live or die, I’m all alone so I can die and finally end this life as nobody.

Jennifer hadn’t told it anybody but she never liked her name she used now. Not that she was really fond of her actual name but for some reason she kept dreaming of the dark shadow who called her lovingly Jenny. She was longing to be called like this again.
The crowd was cheering and she knew it was her moment to jump but something was holding her back, somewhere from deep down in her conscience she heard the voice from the shadow again.

“Jenny! Don’t you could get hurt… Jenny!”

Jennifer shook her head and did what the yelling of her name -Gwen- cause. She started her bike, drove, jumped and crashed right into the other side of the canyon. Jennifer was fully awake as she saw her totalled bike smash into thousand pieces on the far below ground, before her broken body fall off the canyon wall and smashed next to her bike. Her stunts had only one rule, never pick up her body. After all how could anyone the injuries she had other than telling the truth. Jennifer was too injured to even cry she just lay there on the bottom of the canyon hoping that nothing would get attracted by her bleeding body. When she fell asleep the shadow of her dreams held her as tight as her broken body made it possible and let her feel safe. A feeling she only knew from her dreams but longed so much after it.

I want this, sort of…
A little while before her life change

Several man had been beating her up in a dark alley where no one ever went, she was suppose to win but she lost this one race and the man who hired her to drive his car and not total it which she did. During the race she saw a face in the crowd and for a second she thought her father was there that’s when she crashed the expensive Italian car into a huge truck and caused it to explode. But now it didn’t even matter anymore if Mark Wilson was in the crowd or not or that she had lost the race or that those men were crushing most of her bones as so often she wished it would just end and she would die to stop this life that felt so empty and dead.

I don’t belong into this world anymore.

It’s been three days since she got beaten up, and finally felt strong enough to get up. She felt pain in every bit of her body and she knew that many of her bones were still broken but she had to move or the rats would at some point eat her. She managed to drag herself into a small diner and got a table in the far corner away from the common eye to see her.

“What can I bring you love?” A heavy, sweaty and oldish waitress asked.

“Coffee black.” Jennifer mumbled.

A few tables away from her was a father with his daughter she didn’t seem to be older than seven or eight and the father seemed to look as if there was not a single person in the world he loved more than this little girl. Jennifer sighed and tried not to start crying right here, partly because she was in pain so much pain and partly because those two.

“Excuse me Miss? But you have so pretty hair. Are you a princess?” The girl asked.

“Sarah come back and let the girl drink her coffee in peace don’t bother her.” The father looked at Jennifer. “Are you alright miss?”

“Yes I’m fine mean boyfriend, didn’t like what I cooked.” Jennifer looked at the little girl. “No sweetie I am not a princess but you are because your daddy loves you so much that he makes you a princess.”

“But doesn’t your daddy loves you to make you a princess?” Sarah asked innocently.

“No my daddy never made me a princess. He never saw in me a princess more a Cinderella without the meeting of a prince charming.” Jennifer whispered, she stroked the little girl over the head. “Treasure each moment you have with your daddy.”

Jennifer got up painfully and was about to walk out of the diner when the waitress called her back. “Hey Missy, you have to pay even when you don’t drink your coffee.”

Jennifer got a slight look of terror in her face.

“That’s okay I’ll pay for her, to make her a princess for today.” The father of Sarah smiled at Jennifer. For a moment she felt like there was someone who cared about her well until she started to walk home with her broken bones she knew it would take up to a week for her to heal maybe even longer for some reason the healing took longer if she was upset. She would try to drown her pain in whiskey lots and lots of whiskey not that it would affect her but still it would keep her warm nearly like it was fuel for her fire which would not burn until she was healed.

I wish there is somewhere out there who cares, who loves me like this girl got loved by her father. Even if it would be just for one day…

Summer 2019


Jennifer was just 14, she was working in the garage, she didn’t go to school and in fact she didn’t give a lot if she learnt anything. She was hanging out at the illegal street races from day one she was living with Ben. He never stopped her and he was not a father figure he was an employer, a friend but nothing more. It was a late summer night, Ben was one of the garages available for the racers. She was the youngest at the race but not one cared, some might even liked exactly that.
“You know if you wanna try my bike all you got to do it blow me.” A large hunky guy said.
Jennifer looked at the bike not even the guy. “Fine.”
Ben was definitely not a father figure, he saw Jennifer walk away with the hunk and he let her. Jennifer never had been with a guy, and she was sure she didn’t d it right but apparently the hunk like the way she blew him. She drove his bad ass motorbike, it was too large for it but she didn’t care
Not long after that another hunk didn’t offer her more than a few beers. Jenny did know those beers would do nothing to her but she didn’t care, the guy owned several cars and bikes. He hired drivers of all colors and ages and she would be one of them. He was in Jennifer’s eyes old something in his twenties. “I like them young, let’s go.” He held her tightly by the shoulder as he led her away. Somewhere deep down Jenny didn’t want to go with him but somehow she didn’t cared. Maybe he would rape her and kill her and this was all over and if not at least she got it over with. No he was not gentle, he hurt Jennifer and Jennifer didn’t care. She walked home sore and not even remotely did she get any satisfaction out of it. She would get used to that, not getting much out of it. Sex for Jennifer would become meaningless other than to manipulate men. Jennifer did not enjoy sex, not until one day with someone she never expected to sleep with in the first place.

Autumn 2023
 
It was a wet and rainy day, actually it had been raining for a few days now. Jennifer hated this weather. She felt cold and miserable and had troubles with her flame. She had to pick up herself, she had to get out, and she had to get money which meant she either had to race or to do a stunt show. She didn’t have any money to bet so a stunt show it had to be.
 
Jennifer got her warm boots, her thick jeans, a warm jumper and her leather jacket. This would be shit to get outside. She had to walk to the stunt show, she lost her last car in a race.
 
“Gwen? I haven’t seen you around for a while. Thought you make more in races again?” Zach was a sleazy fat slightly disgusting man, he was old enough to be her father and he was still hitting on her especially because Jennifer looked so young.
 
“None of your business Zack. Do you need a driver?”
 
“Sure it’s gonna cost you though.” Zach looked hungry at Jenny, he hated how covered she these days.
 
“Yeah whatever, just give me a bike.” Jennifer rolled her eyes. She was too hungry to object and Zack always fell asleep after as much as a quick handjob -gosh sometimes not even that much and a lap dance was all he needed and today he cearly looked drunk enough that a lap dance would be enough.  
 
“Well girly, take the green one. If you make it without crashing for once I give you three.”
 
“Fine.” Jennifer put on her helmet and took the bike one of the assistants gave her. It was bright green -as everything related to Zach- with these stupid green humanized girl lizards on the side. Jennifer snorted disgusted but listened when the assistant told her what way to drive and where she can build in stunts. It was a circular mud track, kind of boring with eight jumps. The first round was actually not bad Jennifer did a few interesting jumps, did a summersault and once spun her bike around in the air, and then the stunt race was about to start. Twenty racers all going around at the same time doing stunts neither knew what they would be, it was chaos but that’s what people came here for. Jennifer would be starting in the middle field, some drivers where big blokes others little skinny ones and she not surprisingly was the only girl. The lights turned green and they all started and of course there was a collision in the first corner. Jennifer managed to dodge, it not so much the mid air crash at the first jump. Another bike touched her back wheel her bike started to tumble and she crashed in the middle of the air into another bike. She felt the bullet hit her leg, somebody really saw the need to shoot the other drivers as if this crash was not hard enough. And there it was an explosion just behind her. It sent her flying half across the track into the scaffolding that was part of the commentary seats. Jennifer knew she was hurt badly, deep cuts and broken bones but that was not the worst thing. Jenny crash landed without the bike -that was lost somewhere on the way- she fell into the small decorative lake… it wasn’t deep not more than four feet, but deep enough and cold… so cold. Jennifer heard a lot going on, sirens, people and stuff. Jennifer turned around and looked at the sky.
 
Is this a helicopter?
 
Jennifer was hurt, she knew the water around her slowly turned red by her blood.
 
This could be it, this could be the moment I am waiting for so long, maybe I finally die and it would all be over, I wouldn’t be alone anymore, I wouldn’t be hurt anymore, I wouldn’t be cold anymore…
 
People started fussing, well they pretty much thought Jennifer was dead anyway. “Just let her bleed out there in the ditch.”
 
Yes just let me bleed out.
 
Somebody picked her up despite the order to let her bleed out. It got quiet on the track, the lights got turned off and the last people left. Jennifer was alone in the dark and cold night. She felt her heartbeat slow down, her vision blur, it seemed to be the end and she was embracing it like a long lost friend.
 
“You are born alone and you die alone, everything is in darkness.” Jennifer closed her eyes one last time, she saw stars sparkling above her head.
 
This is a nice memory to take with you into death.
 
It was a peaceful night, nothing moved, nothing stirred… except a girl on a race track that was thought to be dead. She had not finished the race, she had not made any money and she was cold, her inner flame was nothing but a said glimmer.
 
“To die would be an awfully big adventure.” Jennifer mumbled as she slowly made her way to the piece of shit she called home. It wasn’t the first time she ignored her inner voice telling her not t jump, not to go for the most dangerous path, because all she wanted was to go on this awfully big adventure.

Spring 2019


Jennifer was staying at the garage for a while now but Ben told her she needs to disappear for a few days because he had a thing going down… whatever that meant it was illegal and a fourteen year old post human was in the way.
Jennifer had no idea where to go, she took all her things not that she got a lot and started walking. It was mild but still Jennifer was not a walker and here she was walking. She walked as long as her feet could carry them. It was dark when she reached a truck stop. She took some time and looked around.
 
“There is nothing for me in New York. He hates me anyway and Ben just endures me so I might as well leave.” Jennifer’s eyes fell on a truck with a Texan flag on the side.
 
“At least it is hot in Texas.”
 
Jennifer was dirty and looked like a lost fourteen year old runaway but she had some money from some odd jobs she did at the garage.
 
“Hey you, I give you $400 if you take me with you as far as you go.” Jennifer didn’t show an inch of fear. The trucker was a fat, sweaty, ugly middle aged man not looking like someone you’d ask for a ride. “Fine but no talking missy.”
 
He should have taken breaks but he did not he drove through nights and kept himself awake with energy drinks. The drive was a lot faster than any other.
 
“This is as far as you can go, get out.”  Jennifer had no chance and jump out of the truck that barely stopped. She was standing on a lonely stretch of mountain road in the heat of Texas. Jennifer was wondering what she was going to do when suddenly the silence was interrupted by the roaring of an engine of a fast car and to Jennifer’s surprise it stopped right next to her.
 
“Get in and see what happens. Just like Alice and the rabbit hole.”
 
Jennifer looked skeptical at the car. It was stinking of some kind of smoking drugs and the driver looked beyond stoned, he was clearly a post human his skin was scaly and purple and his ears pointy and rather large. But the most obvious sing was the tail he had he poked through his seat and was now wriggling behind him.
 
I should not get into this car, it would be my certain death… but then where the fun in playing it safe?
 
Of course did Jennifer get into the car, no sane person would but Jennifer’s sanity was rather questionable. The other post human drove off before she even closed the door .
 
“I’m Raga.”
 
“Jennifer.” She was holding on to the side of the door for her dear life. For the first time she was scared by the speed.
 
“Here have a puff or you know ten.” Raga handed her the pipe that was smoke was bright green. Jennifer looked at it and wondered if she would feel better stoned. She took the pipe and took several deep puffs. For a moment she felt the drug enter her system but then her regeneration kicked in. She was not stoned not even remotely. The drive was fast and scary and to Jennifer’s shock they did meet another car and Raga just ran it off the road without stopping.
 
“What are you doing? We have to help them!” Jennifer screamed but Raga just laughed took another long puff of his green smoking pipe and sped even faster off. Jennifer suddenly realized that this horror trip was not over, she could not get out of the car.
 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jennifer snapped.
 
“Just shut up you stupid cow. I picked you up at the side of the street show me some respect.” Raga barked back.
 
Jennifer went very quiet, unusually quiet, this was a bad idea. She had to find a way to get out of this car, yes she had a death wish but that did not mean to take others with her down. They drove for a little while until a small town came in sight and Jennifer made a decision; a reckless and stupid one but a sort of noble one. She grabbed all her things, opened the door and jumped out. The car was driving with at least 100mph, Jennifer broke her collar bone, a rip and her elbow not to mention the cuts and bruises. It was safe to say that this was a rather stupid thing to do but the right thing. Jennifer was in pain and had troubles walking but it was worth it. It took Jennifer a while to find the police station.
 
“Hello my name is Guinevere McLiam and I have witnessed an accident out on the mountain road. It was a two vehicle collision one pushed the other off the  road, I don’t know about the victims. All I could do was come here to report it…”

This is not a memory Jennifer can remember. Maybe Mark or Amanda can but it is the type of memory that would get definately changed into something bad.

---

Spring 2007


It was late, past her bedtime.


Daddy said if I am out of bed one more time I’m in trouble… but it is so cold!


Jenny climbed out of her big girl bed and waddled to the thermometer at her wall. She didn’t understand numbers and temperatures yet but her Dad -the most amazing man in the whole wide world!- put something up so that she understood the thermometer. A colored sheet that showed her when it as cold and when it wasn’t. The blue line of the thermometer was next to the re(77 Fahrenheit)d which meant it was warm enough in the room.


But it is so cold, I am so cold!


Jenny was dressed in thick wooly socks and a thick wooly PJ not to mention the thermal long underwear underneath. And despite all of that the little girl felt like she was trapped in the coldest winter at the North Pole. Jenny was shivering and she could see her breath as puffy fog when she breathed out.



Most of Jenny’s furniture was fireproof, the little girl didn’t have her flame at all under control and set accidently fire to her room. Jenny’s room was on the ground floor with a lot of stone and steel, like her bed was a steel frame standing on large granite stone plates. Jenny looked at her bed for a while and then climbed back in. Before she curled up in it as tiny and tight as possible she carefully set fire to her mattress which started to glow but not really caught fire but it did give of heat, a lot of heat. The little girl curled up like a kitten and finally felt warm.


It worked for an hour until the heat detector in Jenny’s room activated and the alarm blared in the house, it was loud enough to wake the family but not the neighbors.


“Jenny what have you done this time?” Her Mom hurried in the room, armed with a fire extinguisher. She saw the glowing bed and did what every normal person would do, put it out.


“Mommy I was so cold.” To confirm that Jenny’s teeth were shattering loudly.


“It’s okay Jenny. Come here.” Her Daddy picked her up and held her close, to his surprise not just her teeth were shattering but she was also shivering.


“Maybe she caught a cold.” Her Daddy looked at his wife.


“No she doesn’t look like it, I think we got to toughen her up a little. She is always dressed so warm that her body doesn’t know how to maintain its own body heat. Jenny did you set fire to your bed on purpose?”


“Yes. Daddy said I can’t be out of bed again but I am so cold.” Jenny whispered into her Daddy’s strong chest. She didn't understand her own powers or why neither her Mommy nor her Daddy didn’t have the same powers, sometimes she felt like she was given to them through magic, like Thumbelina just that she was given to them not by a witch but clearly by a dragon, but she knew that her Daddy could make everything right. As long as she had him everything would be alright and she would not lose control of her flame ever.

Sometime 2027


“You know it really makes no sense to go anywhere else. Just get me the parts and I can fix the car myself.” Jenny said into the speaker of the phone, which wasn’t entirely true. She could fix a car but the electronic in a car just made no sense to her.
 
“I don’t care, you broke the sound system and I will not let you touch it every again, actually once it is fixed I want to bring me my car and lose my number. Now drive to the garage I send you the address, apparently he is good in his job.” A male voice answered her back he sounded rather angry.
 
“I am on my way. Gee, could at least let me clean up. I’m still covered in your little explosion which you didn’t tell me would happen. I am actually ruining your leather seats, Victor.”
 
“Well I can clean that just get my sound system fixed!” Victor barked before the line went dead.
 
“Screw you Victor. I really would love to just drop off your car in a really bad area so that it gets stripped and I can go back to my business.”
 
Smokey stopped the car a block away from the garage. She hated going to places she didn’t know what to expect or who to expect. She looked in the rearview mirror; her hair had a fine layer of dust on it. She actually didn’t look any better. Her skin was coated in dust, soot and marks of the explosion. Smokey hated working for Victor but he would forget the money she owned him if she would remind some of his customers that they owned him money. Everything work well, kind of, you know the usual threatening and occasional shot in a foot. However her last call went wrong, horribly wrong. Victor had given her some kind of device (she never really understood any kind of technology, it made her wonder if she really was born in 2003 or maybe 100 years before) he said it would really convince them to pay back their money. Without thinking she dropped the little device it shuffled oddly along the ground and latched itself onto the dude’s leg, and then it explode covering her in…. Victor would clearly not get his money back from him and he was not happy she was meant to take the car and thought a bit of music would harm, well being covered in the blood and guts of a fat, ugly man seemed to have messed with her powers a little the sound system of the car blew up into her face of course when Victor was already on the phone and heard it. That was just the cherry on top he sent her the stupid address of a garage he knew was good. So here she was dressed in her usual tiny shorts, black boots and a top that barely covered her and then there were the marks of the explosion. It was kind of handy she couldn’t ask for a better disguise. No one could recognize her.
 
“Hello? Anybody here? I need someone to fix the sound system in my car, I pay cash and I am in a hurry.” Smokey called loudly into the garage she couldn’t see straight away whoever worked here.
 
A loud thud made her jump when a man stumbled out from under a car for some reason he didn’t look like he had been working there, Smokey gasped when he turned around. Of course she had to run into him. Mark Wilson looked at the girl in front of him for a moment, long enough to make Smokey nervous. “Smokey, I mean I’m Smokey and I am in a hurry my boss wants his car back.”
Mark smelled of booze. Nothing new to Smokey that how she remembered him, it took a few bottle to get him drunk but it was nothing to new to Smokey. She was fidgeting with the hem of her shorts, she knew her tell tales and she had plenty.
 
“What’s wrong with it?” Mark grumbled, he knew there was something odd about this girl or the situation or he was just too drunk or all three.
 
“I am not sure. I just picked it up from outside that night club but something is wrong with the sound system.” This was getting ridiculous, she was a grown woman why was she still so scared that Mark would hit blue and green?
 
“Don’t think your boss will like you sit in that car looking like that? What’d you do anyway? Found the only coal pit left and rolled in it?”
 
“Wha? Oh this…” Smokey knew he would ask, anybody would but that didn’t make it easier. She needed a story and quickly, she should have thought about that before getting in the garage. “Movie.”
 
Mark looked at the girl questioning.
 
“I meant I am working in the movies. It’s… a catastrophe movie, you know earthquakes and stuff. Now can we get back to the car? I said I am in a hurry. Here I need it fixed straight away.” It took all of Smokey’s will power not to shake. She could see the lie and she was sure so could Mark. He looked at her so weird as if he knew her but couldn’t place her. Very quickly and to distract him from staring at her this intensely she put several hundred dollar on the workbench behind him. Mark shook his head, took another swing from the scotch bottle on the workbench and turned to the car. He had to admit it was a nice car.
 
“You gonna pop it?” Mark grumbled.
 
Smokey looked confused at him. “Pop?”
 
“The hood girl! If you want me to fix it you got to pop the hood.”
 
Smokey jumped into action and popped the hood. This was pure torture. She saw him once at a stunt show and that was hard but this… this was torture. She looked around the garage, it must been nearly closing time no one else was here. There were some really fine cars and bikes standing around. There was a picture frame on the workbench, it had fallen over. Smokey slowly walked to it, very slowly she stretched her hand out to stand it up…            
 
“Don’t touch this!” Mark barked loudly making Smokey jump several feet away from the work bench.
 
“You really have to work on your attitude. I’m a customer and you should be a bit more polite to me or I take my business and go elsewhere.” Smokey crossed her arms and looked angry at Mark.
 
“Fine, just take your car and go to any other place. Go! I was busy anyway.”
 
“Yeah drinking yourself to oblivion.”
 
Mark stepped closer to Smokey with a dangerous sparkle in his eyes and growled. “I said go!”
 
He didn’t need to ask her again. She remembered all too well what after the growling came; she didn’t even take the money from the work bench and just jumped in the car and drove off. Tears were running down her cheeks leaving white marks in her smudged face. It’s been eleven years since she died; she still remembered the beating she got from him before he kicked her out.
 
“I always have to run into them, this is insane. Maybe I should just leave New York, go to California enjoy the sun and finally be free of them.”
 
Smokey always said she would leave, she never did. She hated New York but pain was after all what made her feel alive and she needed to make sure she was still alive. She had to be alive to kill herself.