Coming Home

"Daddy wait come back." Jane called Liam holding a lunch box in her hand. “Mummy, Jill and I read a book about school and those children in school take little boxes with their lunch in them but you are eating with us lunch so I made you a box with a snack for morning break.” Since Jill and Jane discovered that their daddy is doing a course at university to get a teacher’s degree. Even though he was able to teach at a private school Liam still was happy when Colin offered that he would get him into university to get his degree and the administration of Oxford University agreed to accept all his work as credits for his undergraduate and wrote a dissertation on some astrophysics topic and was now doing his postgraduate degree for teacher as distant learning course. So shortly said Jill and Jane were thrilled to discover that their daddy was a student.
 
“That is awesome, thank you Princess.” Liam took the box and small bottle what looked like apple juice and kissed Jane.
 
“You welcome. Can I also come with you to class today? I’m all ready to go and have packed my backpack.” Jane looked hopeful at her dad.
 
“Sure, do you remember the rules?”
 
“Yes daddy. I have to sit quietly at the back and can’t play with you.” Jane quickly ran to get her backpack and her Duckling. “I’m ready daddy. Bye mummy, bye Jill. See you at lunch.” Jane took Liam’s hand, Liam quickly looked at Jo and she smiled and nodded Jill would go with her into her English class.
Jane took at the seat at the small toddler table at the back she got out a little notebook and a pen and one of her pictures body encyclopaedia and put Duckling on the chair next to her as she started very quietly to whisper to her duck pointing at things in the book scribble in the notebook and then start all over again. For a moment Liam and his class was too distracted to start the lesson but then Liam pulled himself together.
 
“Good Morning Class.”
 
Suddenly all pupils jumped up and said in unisome. “Good Morning Liam… -daddy.” You heard Jane say shy in the background. Everyone was used to have one or both twins in the class at least on the days they were not in nursery which was Tuesdays and Thursdays.
 
“Okay you had homework, Thomas how about you read your essay we haven’t heard your thoughts in a while.” Liam had quickly checked the attendance and then started his astronomy class. He didn’t pick on pupils but he challenged them all the same and Thomas was since about two weeks now
very quiet in class and hadn’t volunteered an answer.
 
“I’m very sorry Sir, but I have not done the homework.” Thomas said quietly.
 
“I see. Maybe someone can help out and read their essay?” Liam never took notes about students during class no matter if positive or negative notes but he would after class talk to Thomas if everything was okay at home. For a while the lesson went on about halfway through the ninety minutes session Jane had fallen asleep but she was snuggled up with Duckling on the large floor pillow and looked quite comfortable. Liam just quickly pulled the cardigan out of her backpack and covered her with it, just to make sure she would not get cold.
 
“Okay so who can answer Jeremy’s ques- ?” Liam got cut off from a noise he did not expect. The shrill fire alarm bell was ringing and Liam knew for a fact that there was no drill planned for today. Jane jumped up and started crying hysterically while all pupils looked worried and a little scared at Liam. It took him just about two second to react. “Okay everyone up! Do not take you bags or jackets just go in orderly manner outside the next fire exit!” Liam looked down at Jane and he knew he had to find a trusted pupil to take her outside he had a duty to fulfil. “Class president take the attendance sheet and go, now!”
 
The pupils followed his instructions and went out the room following their elected class president to the assembly point in the school garden. Liam was having Jane for the moment on his arm when he found Dan from a classroom leaving.
 
“Dan? Here take Jane, she will scream but take her. I love you Princess be a good girl and go with Dan. Jane nodded but was still crying as she held on tightly to Dan. She liked Dan but would prefer her daddy. It didn’t take Liam long to check the lower floor of the classrooms and then went outside. Sarah the head girl came to him, she was carrying Jill. The little girl was upset but not as upset as Jane who got woken so roughly right at the beginning of her morning nap.
 
“Liam all classes are outside no one is missing.” Sarah said.
 
“Thank you Sarah. Do you mind to see if Jane calmed down? She is with Dan.” Liam looked worried, he saw that the cook wanted to speak to him so he hurried off hoping that his girls were safe and well.
 
“I am so sorry Sir. I broke the stove. I had the large pot to cook pasta to make pasta salad for lunch but the pot was hotter than I expected and I dropped it that the gas nozzle broke off.”
 
“Did you turn off the gas?” Liam urged her.
 
“I don’t know Sir, there was a large fire blast and I don’t know if I turned off the main gas switch.” The cooked were so sorry that this happened.
 
“That is alright we all are just humans and do mistakes. I’ll be right back I need to make sure the gas is off.” Liam ran to the small shed to turn off the entire gas supply not just of the main building of Waterfall Downs Academy but also the houses in a radius of two hundred fifty yards that belong to the estate. Liam sighed this would be a very long day, when he returned to the assembly he noticed it. Nurse Dolores was not there and neither was…
 
“Jo!” Liam said in horror just as the fire brigade drove with several trucks on the parking area. The captain ran towards Liam. “Sir is everyone out the building?”
 
“No our nurse and my wife are still in it. And the fire is in the kitchen the estate’s main gas supply is off.”
 
“We will have two team one team get the nurse and your wife and one go into the kitchen I need you t stay here with your pupils and staff.”
 
There was nothing that could stop him from going back into the building to get Jo out himself, nothing except maybe two little ginger girls. Liam turned around and saw them cling to each other and now both of them were sobbing. Liam didn’t even say anything further and just went to his girls.


Meanwhile in the hospital wing

One of the youngest pupils was sitting on the bed, she had sprained her ankle. In the bed was an older boy lying he had a stomach bug but right now no one cared that he was sort of contagious. Jo and Nurse Dolores were standing in some distance so that the children could not here them.

“Nurse Dolores we are safe here. When we renovated the house Liam made sure that this area is fireproof up to two hours. I’m sure one of the pupils has passed on that I ran here to help you out. But you do agree with me that the smoke is not a good sign, it is safer to stay here. We can’t carry Emma and Andrew down the stairs.”

“I know Missis Jo. I’m just worried. You look a little pale are you alright?” Nurse Dolores took Jo’s hand.


“I’m alright, just worried.” Jo tries to look out of the window but she could not see the assembly point. “Liam is coming, it will be alright. He will.” Jo went to Emma and pulled her on her lap. "Do not worry, we are safe here."

„Okay, girls, you have to listen to me.“ Liam hated seeing his little daughters scared but on the other hand he couldn’t just stand here and do nothing while his wife was still inside, and he didn’t even know where she was. “Daddy has to go inside and get out Mummy, so you two stay with Sarah and Dan and everyone else until-“

“No, Daddy!”, Jane squeaked. “Don’t go in! It’s dangerous!”

“It’s okay, Princess, the fire brigade is already here to make the fire go away, we’re not in danger anymore. I just have to find Mummy. See, here’s James.” Liam was glad that James just showed up next to him. “Hey, could you stay with the girls, I have to go inside.”

“What? Why? You don’t know how far the fire-“

“I don’t care, Jo is still inside”, Liam interrupted him. “Please watch the girls until we’re back.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Princess, Cupcake, I’m right back, and I’m bringing Mummy, I promise.” Liam quickly kissed them and then followed the two teams inside while James held both Jill’s and Jane’s hand tightly and assured them that everything was fine.
While one team was going right into the kitchen, the other team went into the other direction to look for the headmistress and the nurse. Liam followed them. He knew Jo was smart, she would go somewhere where she was safe.

“The hospital wing!”, Liam exclaimed.

The firemen turned around. “What?”

“I’m pretty sure they are in the hospital wing because the room is fire-proved and there are currently two patients, I’m sure our nurse Dolores stayed with the students. I don’t know if my wife is with them but she might be. Follow me.” They quickly ran upstairs until they reached the hospital wing, and to their relief the nurse, Jo and the two students were inside.

“Liam!” Jo ran to him and hugged him tightly. “You came.”

“Of course I did. Is everyone okay in here?”

“Yes, we are all fine”, Dolores said. “We only need someone to carry out the two students.”

“No worries, ma’am, we will do that.” The firemen carefully lifted the patients out of their beds.

“Is everyone safe?”, Jo asked.

“Yes, everyone is at the assembly point outside. The cook accidentally broke the stove, that’s how the fire started.”

“Where are the girls?”

“Outside as well, safe with James and everyone else.”

Jo sighed relieved.

“We have to leave this building”, one of the firemen said. “We don’t know where else the fire spread yet, so we have to leave now.”

“Okay.” Everyone nodded and followed the team back outside, where Jill and Jane let go off James’ hand and ran to their parents.

“Mummy!”

“Oh, my two little angels.” Jo knelt down and hugged them both tightly. She could tell that Jane was incredibly anxious and distressed but she kissed her gently and told her it’s all going to be fine.

“Are you hurt, Mummy?”, Jill asked.

Jo shook her head. “No, Nurse Dolores and I were safe in the hospital wing.”

A little bit later the remaining firemen came out of the building and walked to Jo and Liam, since they were in charge of the school.
“Good news, the fire didn’t have time to spread”, the captain said. “So the only thing that is damaged is part of the kitchen but other than that the fire couldn’t spread.”

“That’s good”, Liam said, having his arm tightly around Jo. “We were lucky this time.”

It was end of April, Henry just turned five, when it suddenly hit her. Dan is leaving in four months!


My boy is leaving.

Lorelai watched Dan, Henry and Edward in the garden. Edward was sitting at the garden table probably composing another symphony, while Henry and Dan were on the ground investigating some of nature’s treasures. Lorelai knew that Edward understood that Dan was moving out after summer but Dan he had no idea and she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. Dan had applied at a couple of universities -like Bath, Brighton, Bristol and Anglia Ruskin- and he had conditional offers for all of them but his favourite was Anglia Ruskin University in Chelmsford. He had looked into part time studies, but Lorelai would not let him do this, he was a bright young man he would flourish at university and he would not have to work while he goes to university. Her son did not have to work and take longer for his degree. When he would decide which university he would go to she would make sure he would not enrol as a part-time student. But how could she let this wonderful boy go out in the world all by himself, a part of her wished she could make him go to university in Oxford but she couldn’t. Lorelai sighed and carried the tray of lemonade and some fruit into the garden.

“Edward what are you doing?” Lorelai asked gentle and kissed her son on top of her head.

“My homework. I have to write an essay about Henry the eighth. Mutti how to you spell hypocrite?” Edward asked with his fountain pen in his hand. Lorelai looked at her little son, he was a very ambitious P1 pupil, he was probably the only pupil using the world hypocrite.

“H-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-e.”

“Thanks Mutti.” Edward had no problem to switch from German back to English, all boys knew the rule Mutti only answers when you speak German with her and in those two years Dan was living with them he became fluent so everyone except John spoke German with Lorelai.

“Mutti?” Dan sat down next to her and kissed her on the cheek. “Bist du in Ordnung, du siehst traurig aus?”

“Was? Oh ja ich bin in Ordnung.” Lorelai kissed Dan on top of his head. “Ich habe nur taggetraeumt. Was hast du Henry gezeigt?”

“Eine Ameisenstrasse.” Dan took a glass, filled it with lemonade and gave it to his mother before he did the same for Edward and then himself. “You do know that I will come home right?” He continued in German. Lorelai looked at her son, he was as much her son as the two young boys she had carried for nine months under her heart and not just because John and she adopted him but the day Jo and Ricky dropped off this boy, this beaten boy.

“I know. I will just worry. Waterfall Downs Academy is a wonderful school but out there people don’t understand. Think about your biological parents.” Lorelai ran her hands through Dan’s hair and down his cheek. You still saw the fine lines of scares of his broken face. Dan held her hand on his cheek.

“I know, I know I need to be more reserved out there but you taught me everything I need to know to be ready to move out. You made sure Opa taught me how to cook so that I can feed myself, you taught how to defend myself and Waterfall Downs Academy taught me how to be a good person. I will be alright.” Dan looked with his hazel eyes at his mother. “I will be alright and no matter where I go to university I will come home at least once a month; I want to come twice and maybe even more often so I will come home as often as I can come. You raised me right.” For a long time Lorelai watched Henry who now showed Edward the ant trail, Edward mentioned fire ants and his worries that he didn’t want to touch those ants in case they were fire ants.

“What do you want for dinner, I tell Opa.” Lorelai got up and left the boys in the garden while she went inside to find her father to talk to him about dinner, she just couldn’t deal with the fact that Dan seemed so calm about going to university. It was Saturday and every Saturday all he Von Gruensees had dinner together; Lorelai’s father, her brothers and their wives and their children. Dan sighed, he knew that his Mutti was in so deep denial that he was going to university.
The next day he went to Waterfall Downs, it was Sunday so he knew that Missis Jo would take the girls and go to church with them, it was a small country church not far from here so he had made some salad, took a bottle of salad dressing and went for lunch over.

“Hello Professor.” Dan smiled at Liam who opened the door. “Dan, is everything okay?” Liam had just come back upstairs he had been in his lab all morning since Jo had left with the girls but to make sure he wouldn’t get lost in time he set an alarm. “Oh yes, I was wondering if Missis Jo is home yet?”

“No but she should be, let me guess the salad is to have lunch with us?” Liam grinned while he let Dan in the flat. “Yes I thought I better come with something. Is that alright?” Dan looked shy at Liam. “Of course. So what is it what you want to talk about?” Liam got out bread and other things they would need for sandwiches. “Well it is nothing major. Just yesterday I was talking with Mutti about me going off to university and I think she is not really thinking about it. She is denying that I am leaving in four months.” Dan started as he set the table.

Liam looked up. “It is not easy to see you go. Even Jo and I got so used to have you around. I mean you are one of our favourite babysitter.” He grinned.

“Danny!” Jill screamed the moment she saw her best big buddy in the kitchen.

“Hey my little Squirrel.” Dan grinned and picked up his little friend.

“Where are you going?” Jill looked stern at Dan, while she was holding the boys face in both her little hands.

“Remember that I told you that I am going to a different school called university.”

“Oh I forgot. When are you going? I don’t want you to go.” Jill kissed him on the cheek.

“Oh hello Dan.” Jo came with Jane in the kitchen and kissed Liam. “I didn’t know you would be joining us.”

“Yes, sorry Missis Jo.  I didn’t want to barge in like this. Is it okay to have lunch with you?” Dan who was so outgoing and confident looked suddenly a little shy.

“Oh Dan, of course you are welcome. Are you alright?” Jo looked concerned.

“Yes, yes I am. It’s actually Mutti. I applied for universities and I got accepted with conditional offers but Mutti is not really talking about the subject. I feel like she is trying to ignore that I am leaving and I think she is scared that I will get hurt. I won’t. I know I can’t run around as free as I do in Waterfall Downs but when I am careful and just myself I will be fine. Right?” Dan helped Jane to some salad and a little cold chicken.

“Of course you will be. Jill, Munchkin please don’t pile your plate so full or stuff your mouth that way.”

“Wud ey hu’d’y.” Jill tried to say with a full mouth.

Everyone laughed.

“W’a’?” Jill murmured, before she swallowed and looked confused around.
Liam leaned over and helped her with her lunch and to make sure she would not be chocking.

“Dan I think Lorelai just worries about you, we all do.” Jo looked at Dan who was helping Jane separate her lunch on her plate, tomatoes in one corner, carrots in a different and then the dry bread in the third and some nice clean cheese.

“I’m scared, I’m scared to leave home, I’m scared to be out there on my own, meet new people, be judged and I’m scared I’m not smart enough for university. But I cannot be scared all my live.” Dan looked up and Jo knew what he meant.

“And Lorelai knows that but she sees it not yet as an adventure as part of growing up. Come here Dan.” Jo hugged the young boy who looked a little upset, Dan hated not making his Mutti happy and proud. “I know how scary it is. I was one of the first girls accepted at Oxford University and it was a lot of pressure. But you are not alone, even when you are not with us in Oxford anymore we are still with you. I know you are the success of Waterfall Downs Academy, you are a smart good young man that stands up for what he believes and knows right from wrong. Yes university is a scary place but it is also a wonderful place. You will learn so much wonderful new things and meet many new people some that won’t like you and some that will love you and Lorelai knows that but she still remembers to fresh what happened to you the summer two years ago. Neither of us wants to see you get hurt like this again.”


“Danny is good and everyone knows that.” Jill said matter-of-factly as if there was nothing wrong about it, she gently tapped her dad on the hand to cut her chicken.

It’s been almost two years ago when a broken and beaten up young boy had stopped by at Ricky’s office at university to talk to him after his father had found out that his son liked boys. Two years later, that boy had a new family, a boyfriend, was about to graduate from Waterfall Downs Academy, would soon attend university and was happier than ever, which Ricky was incredibly glad about. Dan was far from the shy, intimidated young boy he used to be two years ago, he was very confident, almost a little cocky, and most importantly, he was happy. Dan was very popular in school, among both the students and the staff, and he had a large circle of friends. Despite being pretty busy with his family and friends, he never forgot about Ricky and how much the other boy had helped him out, so since Dan didn’t have that much time left in Oxford, he decided to invite Ricky for an evening out, just to show a little gratitude and how much he appreciated his help. Dan hoped that a dinner invitation wouldn’t look like he wanted to be on a date with Ricky. Sure, he always thought Ricky was cute and after all, he was the first boy he had ever kissed, even though it was more of a desperate kiss, but still, it did have an impact on him but he obviously knew that Ricky had a crazy-jealous boyfriend who happened to be one of the most powerful young men in the country, so Dan really didn’t want to have Alfie as an enemy. He simply appreciated his friendship with Ricky, he never had any weird ulterior motives.
Dan had reserved a table at a good restaurant, and yes, he knew that looked a lot like it was a date but he knew that it was Ricky’s favourite restaurant and he really wanted to do him a favour after all of Ricky’s help. Dan had become quite the gentleman the past two years, even though he was a confident one, but his Mutti had taught him how to be a gentleman, and so he wanted to do something nice for Ricky. However, that evening when they met at the restaurant they saw a sign on the restaurant’s door, which stated that it was contemporary closed due to a sudden burst of pipes in the kitchen, which resulted in a slight flooding. The restaurant would open in a couple of days again, but tonight it was closed.

“I guess we have to change our plans”, Dan said.

“I think one of the coffee shops is still open, the one close to university”, Ricky suggested.

“But I wanted to do something special and coffee shops are so not special.”

Ricky smiled. “I really appreciate that, it’s very nice of you, Dan, but it’s absolutely okay if we just go to a coffee shop.”

Dan sighed quietly. “I guess.” He was about to go into the direction that led to the coffee shop when he suddenly got an idea. “Scratch that, I have a better idea. Follow me.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Dan winked at him a little teasingly. Nowadays it was hard to imagine that Dan was actually the younger one between the two because he was so much more confident and open than Ricky, and besides, Ricky still looked like an eleven-year old milkmaid, and Dan looked quite grown-up, he often even had a three day beard while Ricky was always completely shaved- not that Ricky actually had to shave every day since his facial hair wasn’t really growing that quickly…

They arrived at a building that looked like a bar, which Ricky wasn’t really familiar with since he had never been the guy who went to bars. Since he was together with Alfie, he obviously never went to a bar, either alone or with his boyfriend, and even before he had been together with Alfie, he was way too shy to go to a bar by himself, he was more the type who stayed at home, studied and read books.

“Have you been here before?”, Ricky asked, looking a bit warily. This was a completely new environment for him.

“Oh yes, I’ve been here once or twice. No worries, it’s not some shady place with creepy drunks hanging around, it’s a very welcoming place, actually.”

“Well, alright then.” Ricky shrugged his shoulders and followed Dan inside. It really didn’t look dodgy at all, and modern music was playing, so nothing weird.
“Oh, this is quite a modern establishment”, Ricky said as they sat down at a table close to the bar.

“Yeah, one could say that.” A grin crossed Dan’s face. “I’ll get us drinks, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“Ehm…okay. Nothing too strong for me, I get quite easily drunk and…well, I’m not good with holding my liquor, I’m sorry.”

Dan chuckled. “That’s okay, I figured you wouldn’t like anything strong.” He got up and went to the bar while Ricky stayed at their seats, looking a bit nervously around. It was quite crowded and so far he hadn’t really seen any women, but he didn’t really get an idea why there were no women in this bar.

“Hi.” Two men sat on each side next to Ricky, smiling friendly at him. Ricky looked a bit confused, he wasn’t used to people just sitting down at his table. His eyes wandered to the bar where he saw Dan talking with a man next to him while the bar keeper prepared their drinks.

“Ehm…hello…” Ricky sounded very polite, he wasn’t sure what else to say.

“First time here?”, one of the guys asked.

“Yes.” He smiled politely but he was still a bit nervous. The two men didn’t seem to be creeps but he was still worried why they just sat down at his table without even asking. In his childhood and especially his teenager years, he was so used to being bullied by other boys, and even after all these years he still flinched when strangers came too close to him, especially two huge guys likes those two. Boys like that had always bullied him in school, and yes, school days were long over, but Ricky still had a little distrust towards them.

“My name’s Mike”, the one to his right said.

“I’m Joe”, the other one said.

Ricky still smiled a bit nervously. “I’m Ricky.”

“Hey, Ricky.” They both grinned and he started to feel weird. They didn’t seem to have evil thoughts but Ricky was still super irritated why they wanted to talk to him.

“You sure are a cute one”, Mike said.

“Excuse me?”

“How old are you anyway? Did you get a fake ID in order to get in?”

“I…ehm…I’m not underage.”

The two men laughed.
“You’re super cute.”

Ricky blushed deeply. He had to think of his possessive, insanely jealous boyfriend at home who would rip everyone apart if he saw other guys talking to him like that.
“I…ehm…” He looked back at the bar, searching for Dan who was still talking with that other guy and the bar keeper.

“Is that your boyfriend?”, Joe asked.

“What? Dan…oh no, he is…he’s not mine…I…ehm…would you excuse me for a moment?” Ricky almost jumped up and walked quickly to the bar. He tapped Dan’s shoulder carefully.
“Dan?”

The younger boy turned around. “Oh, hey Ricky. Are you okay?”

“I…ehm…eh…” Ricky looked nervously around. “What kind of place is this?”

Dan looked at Ricky for several minutes and then burst into laughter. “Have you and Alfie never been here? It is a bar for men like us. Hey guys he has a boyfriend just let him be.” Dan handed Ricky a rose wine with soda water while he had a cider. Dan was very well aware that he was under age, Mutti had talked with him about drinking and she said she can handle when he drinks a pint but he is never allowed behind the wheel. She rather had him call her in the middle of the night and so far he never drove. He often had his pint at the very beginning of the night and then just sodas well and Cedric drove him most of the time.

“Are you here often?” Ricky took the drink and wanted to give Dan money for it but the young boy shook his head.

“Yeah Cedric and I are here quite often. I’ve also thing we should have a look at the menu, I know that is not very good dinner but we should eat something.” Dan found them a new table a little aside from the main area.

“This is quite a place. I’ve never been here and I don’t think Alfie would ever go here with me. How can it be that you are allowed in here, you are under age?” Ricky took the menu it had normal bar food.

“Because it is a gay coffee shop they don’t really check age, and the police well let’s say not many police men want to walk into this place anyway. I go and get us some food.”

“Wait, please don’t leave me alone here.” Ricky looked shy and a little scared at Dan.

“I’m just over there and as soon you tell them who your boyfriend is they will all leave you alone.” Dan grinned and patted Ricky’s shoulder.

It didn’t take long for another gentleman to sit down next to Ricky. “Hello, I’ve haven’t seen you here before. You are cute. Oh your hair is soft.”

Ricky froze in horror. This is not happening, this is like Sofiya all over again.

“You know, I have my car just outside do you want to join me?” The middle aged man whispered in Ricky’s ear.

“Hey Johnson, I would not try this he is the one no one in their right mind will touch.” Dan said cocky.

“Shit! Really him? I am so sorry Sir! Um here, take these.” The rough man dumped several condoms in the surprised Ricky’s lap. “So sorry!”

Dan laughed and sat down next to Ricky. “See I told you. You don’t need to worry everyone knows who you are and who your boyfriend is.”

“Wait people know?” Ricky went pale.

“Yeah many know that Lord Alfred Jackson has a young looking boyfriend and if anyone dares to lay their finger on you they know they will lose more than just that finger. Don’t you think that the young Lord Jackson has an awful short chain on you? I mean if he really loves you would he not let you run free and believe you stay with him?” Dan didn’t mean to judge Ricky he was just curious and outspoken.

“He does love me.” Ricky took a sip of his wine. “Alfie is a complicated man, he didn’t get saved like you did. He just got abandoned, think how you would have been if you haven’t come to me those years ago?”

“Dead!” Dan stated very matter of fact. Ricky looked up and knew hat Dan was right, his father would have killed him.

“And he hadn’t had someone like me, Lorelai and Missis Jo to safe him. He is too scared when he lets me lose that I leave.”

“I see. Love is a complicated thing.”

“What will you and Cedric do when you start university? Oh dear that are a lot of calories.” Ricky’s eyes widened when he saw the food arrive. Dan laughed. “Yeah I thought your and my taste will be different, but trust me it will be good for you to eat some junk food.”

Ricky smiled shy. Both young man were bantering and eating for a while.

“Oh I love this song, come dance with me.” Dan jumped up and took Ricky’s hand enthusiastically. “Come on it will be fun and can work off some of those calories you fear.” Ricky was sort stuck on his bench he had still several condoms lying round himself on the bench.

„You don’t want to tell me that you’re scared of the dance floor, are you?“ Dan looked almost cocky at the older boy.

“I…ehm…” Ricky blushed and cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I’m just not quite…eh…coordinated…”

“Not quite coordinated? So you mean you can’t dance?”

“Yeah. Not really. I just look…I look really stupid.”

Dan chuckled. “Oh, come on, Ricky, look around! Most of the guys here can’t dance but they just do it because it’s fun and nobody gets judged here.”

Ricky looked around and realised that Dan was right. Barely anyone looked gracefully but nobody cared, they all seemed to have a good time. “Well…” He cleared his throat again. “I guess a little dancing can’t hurt.” He was still very shy but he followed Dan’s lead, who was so confident that it was almost contagious. Nobody cared that Ricky looked like an awkward, clumsy baby penguin. No, it was quite the opposite; some guys seemed to enjoy the show, not because they were making fun of him but because he was just too adorable to look away. Dan and Ricky both drew a lot of attention to themselves, they were just young and fresh-faced, and well, Ricky was just being his adorably awkward-self, and everyone thought he was like sixteen and Dan had smuggled him in- none of them would ever expect him to be a professor at Oxford university.
The two young men had a great evening, and none of the other guys scared Ricky anymore. Yes, the threw him a smile now and then but after Dan made clear that they knew Ricky wasn’t available, they accepted it and nobody offered him condoms anymore- thank God, because that had seriously freaked him out, and of course he didn’t take any of the condoms with him, he would feel too weird about it.

It was almost eleven when Ricky got home. They could have stayed a little longer, they really had a good time but Ricky knew that he had a boyfriend at home who would totally freak if he wouldn’t come home anytime soon. Alfie didn’t even know that he was out with Dan, he probably thought he was spending the evening with Jo. Ricky had to think of Dan’s comment; that Alfie was keeping him on a very short leash, and it was true, Alfie really did. But it was also true what Ricky said, that Alfie was so used of being abandoned that he wanted to hold on to Ricky so badly, out of fear that he would be abandoned again. Not that Alfie would ever talk about that or admit it, but Ricky knew him well enough by now and he knew how scared Alfie actually was of being left alone.

He found Alfie smoking in his gentleman’s room, and he wasn’t smoking a cigar but his normal cigarettes, which was always a sign of him being anxious or irritable. When Ricky met Alfie and also during the first phase of their relationship, Alfie was a really heavy smoker, he sometimes finished up to three packs a day, which really bothered Ricky and thankfully Alfie came to his senses and reduced the smoking after Ricky asked him politely to stop it. He got really good with it, only smoked cigars now and then, but he did have an occasional pack of cigarettes stored somewhere and Ricky always knew that he took those packs out when he was stressed. Alfie was definitely a stress-smoker, and right now Ricky could tell that his boyfriend was not in a good mood. He noticed the ashtray on the table, which was almost completely filled up with cigarettes, Alfie had emptied at least one whole pack.

“Hey…”, Ricky said carefully and sat down next to him on the couch. “Are you okay?”

Alfie glanced briefly at him, he had this nervous twitching of his eyebrows when he was tense. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Ehm…your excessive smoking might be a hint.”

“If it bothers you so much, you don’t have to sit next to me”, he grumbled.

“Alfie, don’t be mean. You know that I like being with you.”

“Aha. So why were you gone all evening then?”

Ricky sighed. “Because I have a life, and that life doesn’t only consist of you. Yes, you are the most important part in it, but I have parents, I have friends, I have work…I have other things besides this flat and you. Do I ever complain when you spend all day and evening with Liam? Sometimes even have to sleep there because you guys stayed up all night and you just decided to stay there? No, I never say anything about that because I’m glad you have a good friend and I trust you, and I’m saying that although I know exactly that you are constantly sleeping with other people, but I still trust you when you’re with Liam. Everybody needs friends, and needs to spend time with them now and then, and that’s what I did today, but I came back, okay? I’m here now, I’m not spending the night anywhere else.”

Alfie put out his cigarette and frowned. “I smell something…” He turned around and looked at Ricky now. “You smell different.”

“Sorry?”

“This is not familiar to me, it’s…it’s aftershave, but someone else’s… It certainly doesn’t smell like something your girlscout friend would wear, either…”

“Well, yeah, that’s because I was out with Dan, we went to this-“

“What was that?”

“Hm?”

“What did you just say?”

“I said I was out with Dan, we-“

“Who is Dan?” Alfie sounded very intimidating again, he even seemed to grow by the second, leaving everyone around him look small and insignificant, and everybody else would have been freaked out by him but Ricky was used to it.

“You know Dan, Alfie. Lorelai’s adopted son, one of the students in Waterfall Downs…”

“You mean that garden gnome? That short kid?”

“Yes, we –“

“Why the hell were you meeting him this evening?”

“Alfie, calm down. I helped him a lot two years ago, when things got so bad with him, especially after his father got violent. Anyway, he’s graduating soon and will be off to university after this summer, and he just wanted to take me out as a kind of thank you, that’s all.”

“He wanted to fuck you, that’s what that was about.”

Ricky rolled his eyes. “No, he did not. He’s a very good kid, he simply wanted to show his gratitude and –“

“He’s gay, right?”

“Yes, and-“

“So he wanted to fuck you. That’s why you smell like him, he-“

“I don’t smell like him”, Ricky interrupted his boyfriend harshly. He started to lose his patience. “The restaurant was closed so we went to a bar, a gay bar, actually and-“

“You what?!”

Okay, now Ricky stared to get a little nervous because it felt like Alfie had just grown five feet and was turning into some massive monster that was out to kill him- or any guy in that gay bar, for that matter.

“It was completely innocent, it was just like any normal bar, just with…well, only men.” Ricky decided not to mention the guys who flirted with him or that guy who had given him condoms. “There was music, there was a little dancing, all very harmless.” He tried to ignore how furious Alfie looked, but that was kind of hard.

“There was fucking going on”, Alfie grumbled.

Ricky shook his head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, this was-“

“Oh, I know, Ricky. Believe me, I know.”

Ricky crossed his arms. “No, you don’t. You confuse a gay bar with one of those…those establishments where you go, but it’s nothing like those places where you go all the time. I’m not like you, Alfie, I don’t have the constant need to…to shag other people. This bar was a completely normal place where men like us can hang out without being judged by anyone, this wasn’t any of your whore houses.” He didn’t mean to sound that harsh but Alfie really annoyed him with his constant accusations that were completely wrong. Alfie lit another cigarette, ignoring Ricky’s upset glance.

“You fucked someone else, I can smell it.”

Ricky was so annoyed by this ridiculous behaviour, he didn’t even bother replying anything. This was just too stupid.

“Oh wait…you let someone fuck you, you like if someone is in charge of you. Didn’t probably take a lot of convincing, you’re always too polite to everyone and want to please everyone so badly that you just allowed those guys to fuck you.”

Ricky shook his head and got up. “You know what? Normally I would have told you over and over again how I would never sleep with anyone else, how I would never even let anyone touch me, but I’m tired of repeating myself all the time. This is too stupid and not worth my time. You know exactly what you’re saying is completely untrue, it’s just your stupid insecurity talking, and it’s late and I don’t feel like discussing this anymore.”

Alfie just stared grumpily at the wall, smoking his cigarette.

“You still have a lot of growing up to do”, Ricky said, very calm now. “You should take a cold shower now and calm you damn nerves, and maybe then I will be bothered enough to talk to you again, but for right now I just have one thing to say to you; grow up, Alfred.” Ricky looked one last time at him, then he turned around, left the room and went upstairs. He got ready for bed, and he wasn’t really that upset, he was actually more indifferent. He was so over the point of getting worked up over Alfie’s stupid behaviour, so he washed his face, brushed his teeth, did his nightly moisturising routine, then he grabbed the newest Vogue and cuddled into the pillows. He would not give Alfie a goodnight kiss until he got a grip and admitted that he behaved stupidly. Until then, he would enjoy his little Vogue-reading time.

The story of Jill and Jane O’Doherty
Jane and Jill O’Doherty just turned three, they knew how to use the toilet, not to go outside unless someone of the big ones came with them and that they have to hold on to the banister when they get up and down the stairs. Most of the days -unless it was one of the three nursery days they had per week- both girls were running around Waterfall Downs, Betty their nanny tried to keep up with them but to be honest most of the time she lost them in the big house. Luckily it was a school and through that there was the loud school bell that rang every day for lunch and both little toddler knew that they had to have lunch. Sometimes they went into classes and none of the teacher mind, they were a delight to have sitting in the back corner Jane was taking notes of whatever class they were in or wrote music like her best friend Edward while Jill most of the time was drawing one picture after the other. All teachers if her parents of Mrs Evelyn, Frida or James they all enjoyed having the twins visiting their classes and the girls knew how to behave in class, but obviously they loved the most to be in mummy and daddy’s classes. Jane was an often a guest in Liam’s classroom while Jill spend time with Jo. But most of the time the girls were on their one playing in the big house. 

Jo had made them a treasure map last night and the girls were delighted and ran off right after breakfast they packed their little backpacks with important things and off they were discussing all the little signs on the map.

“Look here a door.” Jill pointed at one of the bedroom door on the boy’s floor.

“Ooooh. Is it the right door?” Jane whispered she had a little notepad and took notes.

“I don’t know, let’s go in.” Jill opened the door, all pupils had to keep their rooms tidy and no one felt the need to lock their room, each pupil had a small cupboard they could lock if they felt like something was too valuable to be left unprotected. Most pupils’ most valuable possessions were their sweets.

The girls went around the room and looked at books, photos of family and posters of celebrities. Both little girls were really interested looking at all the pictures.

“Jilly, I’m sleepy.” Jane said her eyes half closed already. Jill quickly took the magazine with the pretty girls in their knickers and stuffed it in her backpack and then took Jane’s hand.

“You can’t sleep here. Come with me Janey!” Determined she took Jane’s hand, her backpack and her own and led Jane along the corridor one set of stairs down and then right to one of the window seats. Within seconds Jane fell asleep and Jill got out the little blanket and Jane’s duckling to make her comfortable next to her in the window seat. Jane was sleeping peacefully under the protective eyes of her little sister while Jill was reading a magazine. Lots of girls were in it and she liked that, but the magazine did look different than the magazines Auntie Ricky read, the girls had no pretty dresses on.

“Jill what are you doing here, I have been looking for you two all day. Oh dear Jane, come here Sweetheart let me bring you in your bed for your nap.” Betty said in her charming Southern State accent and picked up Jane.

“She was sleeping fine here. I watched her Betty.” Jill argued but took Betty’s hand to go with her upstairs in the Fox Burrow, Jane preferred napping in the living room on the armchair and not separated all alone in her room. Jill was playing with Teddy while Betty was folding the O’Doherty’s laundry. Jane didn’t sleep longer than all together an hour and then she play joining her sister by composing the background music for Jill’s and Teddy’s running around game until a call from the door made both girls jump up and run to the voice.

“Hello?! Is anyone here? I’m looking for my little Cupcake and my little Princess has anyone seen them? They are two beautiful little girls.” Liam called while he put a few things in his office and then got attacked by the twins.

“DADDY!” Jill and Jane both jumped and him and managed to knock Liam over so that he had to hold on to his desk.

“Wait a minute are you two my little Cupcakes and Princess?” Liam joked.

“Yes Daddy, it is us!” The girls giggled.

“But you are so much taller than this morning. Let me see come here.” Liam picked up one girl at the time and kissed her. “Oh yes you are my little girls. So what have you been doing all day long? Hello Betty.” Liam smiled at Betty.

“Hello Sir, is there anything else you need me to do? I put all your laundry away and Jane had a nap in the afternoon. I have to admit that I lost the girls pretty much all day, so I don’t know what they did. Missis Jo said this morning that she would do dinner.” Betty always tried very hard to speak with as little accent as possible when she spoke with Liam, just like he did the two definitely had a little language barrier but that did not hurt their relationship.

“Betty please, I try to tell you since here years not to call me Sir, just say Liam.” Even though Liam and Betty were talking he managed to listen to his girls who told him about the treasure hunt and things they have done during the day and what they saw or thought it was important.

“I’m sorry Liam… Sir.” Both adult started laughing.

“I think that is all Betty. Jo will be here soon and I love to hear everything about this treasure hunt. So I see you tomorrow?” Liam grinned and finally sat down on the little chair to have a tea party with the girl they were giving him toy cakes and cups of tea. Betty laughed and left the merry scene.

“Oh Daddy, Daddy! Me have a show for you!” Jill shouted and off she ran to prepare her show.

“What show is it, do you know Princess?” Liam kissed Jane on the cheek, she had started fidgeting with the toy cakes on the middle plate. She looked up and left the cakes to wonder what Jill had planned. So Liam’s plan to distract her from her compulsory behaviour worked.

“I am sorry I do not know Daddy.” Jane said in a perfect 100% country side Ireland accent.

“I guess we have to wait. Could I have three spoons of sugar please for my tea?” Both Jo and Liam always had from a very early age including spelling and counting into the games with the girls. Jane nodded and took the tiny silver spoon -Jo had already played with when she was a little girl- and counted the three spoons.

“Is that all Sir?” Jane asked very politely her dad.

“Yes my dear Princess that is all.” Liam grinned.

“Are you ready?” Jill screamed from the living room door.

“Yes we are ready Cupcake.” Liam called back not as loud but a little loud.

“Okay!” Jill screamed back, Liam could hear her giggle in the corridor. And then he saw her dancing in the room in nothing but her knickers and undershirt -though she was not wearing the straps of it so the shirt was slipping down quite quickly- and a pair of Jo’s high heels. If that wasn’t disturbing enough -though there might be a small amount of comical part in it- Jill was arching now awkwardly down on the table which showed of her little girl chest even more. “Hey there…” Jill purred at her dad and Jane, just when Jo walked in.


“Alright, um maybe I should leave you alone?” Jo said as she saw her youngest twin roll around on the couch table.

Jo looked questioning from her husband to her youngest daughter who was rolling around the couch table.

“Ehm…okay, this probably doesn’t sound conniving but I have no idea what’s going on”, Liam said. “The girls talked about a ‘show’ or something that Jill had prepared for me, but I…I’m not quite sure if this is already the show or what else is coming.”

“It looks a little inappropriate”, Jo said, then she knelt down next to the couch table. “Jill, sweetie, would you stop for a moment?”

“But Mummy, I’m not done yet”, Jill giggled. She was lying on her back, looking at her mother upside-down.

“Did you prepare a show for Daddy?”

Jill nodded. “You like it?”

“Eh…it’s…it’s very interesting but how did you get the idea?”

Jill looked past her mother at her dad, then she jumped up again, her undershirt almost falling off from her little body. “Look, Daddy, I’m like one of the girls in the magazines.”

Liam’s jaw dropped while Jo turned around and gave him an almost furious look. “What on earth, Liam? Did you have one of those…those magazines lying around here?”

“I…no, I-“

“I’m okay if you have those magazines, I’m not happy about it but I know that men…need this kind of stuff or whatever, but you can at least be careful and not let this…this stuff lying around in our flat, where we have two little girls walking around.”

“I didn’t, Jo. I swear. I don’t have any magazines here, really.”

“Well, where did she get that from? Unless…” Jo turned around to Jill again. “Did you see Alfie today? Did he teach you to do this show?”

Jill shook her head. “No, I didn’t see Fi.” But then she had an idea and a big grin appeared on her face. “Do you think Fi would like it? My show?”

Jo took a deep breath, trying to talk calmly to her daughter. “Sweetie, where did you get the idea for that show? What women in magazines do you mean?”

“The naked ones.”

Jo was very close to give Liam another angry look but she didn’t want her daughter to think that she messed up. “You found a magazine with women in it?”

Jill nodded. “Yes, they were all naked.” She let out a giggle. Her twin sister didn’t seem so amused by that, she sat quietly on the couch, not smiling at all. “Janey and me were playing and I found a funny magazine.”

“Where did you find it?”

“In the boys’ rooms.”

“See!”, Liam said. “Those were not mine.”

Jo rolled her eyes but then she smiled at Jill. “I think Daddy really likes that you wanted to make him happy and that you made a show for him but this magazine you found…” She was adjusting Jill’s undershirt again so that it was properly covering her. “That is a thing for big boys, you know? That is nothing little girls should see.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not nice for little girls to see women…eh…to see them like they are pictured in the magazines.”

“Not nice?”

Jo shook her head. “No, it’s not. Daddy likes you very much when you wear your pretty clothes. Isn’t that right, Daddy?” Jo looked over to her husband who nodded in agreement.

“Yes, Cupcake, I love when you do a fashion show for me, you know, all dressed in your pretty clothes. You and your sister have so many nice clothes, I would like to see them on you.”

“Fashion show?”, Jill repeated, her eyes growing bigger. She suddenly jumped off the table and ran to the couch where Jane was sitting. “Janey, Janey, come on, we have to do a fashion show!”

Both parents had to laugh; their daughter was just full of endless energy.

“Cupcake, you don’t have to do it tonight. Tomorrow is okay as well.”

“Tomorrow? But that is…that is tomorrow!”

“I know, Cupcake, but it’s quite late already and we haven’t had dinner yet.”

“Dinner!”

Jo laughed. “That was the magic word.”

Liam took Jill’s hand. “So, we’ll have dinner, and then we’re going to read something to you and Princess, and tomorrow, after you had a nice long sleep, you can do the fashion show, okay?”

Jill nodded. “Okay, Daddy.”

“Alright, so you have some toys and some spare clothes. And I told you all about Jane’s illness.” Jo looked worried at Scotty. “I am so sorry are you sure you can handle both girls.”

“Oh Jo of course. We will be perfectly fine. I have written down everything you said, I spend many afternoons with Jill she is already outside in the garden and she is safe there. And I know about Jane. She will be perfectly safe here.” Scotty Chadwick smiled encouraging at Jo.

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to patronise you.” Jo looked at Jane, her oldest daughter was sitting on the couch and looked rather lost. She knew Mr Scotty but she was always unsure about new surroundings.

“Don’t worry I am not crossed with you, the girls are your babies and I understand that you want to protect them. You are just like your father.” Scotty had said that before he had realised what he said.

“Father mentioned you knew each other.” Jo looked at Scotty. “It’s alright I understand it is not my place to ask personal questions. But I hope you know that Waterfall Downs is a safe haven.”

“I am aware of that, it always has been.” Scotty was quiet for a while. “So what are you and Liam going to do on your childless day?”

For a moment Jo wanted to say something else but then she decided against it if Scotty did not feel like talking she would not push him. “Liam and I will go on a bike tour and have a picnic. The girls can not yet ride bikes only tricycles and it is too far for them to ride for so long. So we really appreciate that you watch the girls.”

“Mummy?” Jane looked so troubled at her mother that it broke Jo’s heart. “Weewee.”

“Oh of course, erm where did you say the bathroom is?” Jo was about to take Jane’s hand when Scotty put his hand on her shoulder.

“Let me take her.” Scotty took Jane’s hand and to Jo’s surprise she went with the older man. “Okay so your mummy said you like to make sure the toilet is clean right? So here we go, let me give his a quick wipe.” Scotty took a cloth and wiped the toilet seat. “Okay?”

“Yes, Sir.” Jane whispered.

“Oh you don’t need to call me Sir, just Uncle Scotty. Do you need help with your knickers?” Scotty asked the little girl that seem to struggle with so said.

“Please, Sir Uncle.” Jane whispered. She was very shy about this and Scotty looked at the little girl and for a brief second he was sent back into a past he never had seen, a tiny innocent golden locked boy… “Sir?” Jane whispered again, her need was slowly growing desperate. Scotty came back into the present and very carefully pulled down the little girl’s knickers making sure her dignity and privacy was not disturbed. “Oho my hand.” Jane whispered as her hand slipped into the inside of the toilet seat.

“That is okay we will wash your hands as soon you are done. Here you go some toilet paper, you know what to do with that?” Scotty asked and really hoped Jane did, and she does. After an intense amount of hand washing Jane was all set to sit back down on the couch.

“Did everything go alright?” Jo asked looking worried again.

“Yes mummy.” Jane sat down it was just after nine in the morning.

“Scotty, Jill will want a snack soon.”

“Missis Jo I am telling you, your daughters will be fine. We will have a lot of fun, Jill can run herself tired in the garden and I have some really nice records for her to listen to. Go Jo, I have several numbers I can call if I need help but I am sure I will be fine.” Scotty very gentle pushed Jo to the door.

“I know they will be fine. I just worry about them.” Jo said sounding concerned.

“I know and you should because you are a good mother. So I see you tonight and I have the girls car seats so I will drive them home just before dinner and you have a wonderful day with your husband. And in case you have in nine months another baby I expect it to be named Scotty at least with a middle name.” Scotty winked at Jo who was just getting in the car.

“Scoddy! Where you? I need you!” Jill shouted through the little cottage.

“I got to go and see what Jill needs so you have fun on your bike ride.” Scotty waved to Jo and then closed the door. Jo chuckled got in the car and drove back to Waterfall Downs where Liam was waiting for her.

“Scoddy!” Jill shouted again.

“Yes on my way.” Scotty hurried back and found standing on the armchair under one of the bookshelves.  She was trying to reach a book but she was too little and was bouncing a little uncontrolled. “Jill, what are you trying to do?”

“I need the book Scoddy.”

“Whoa.” Scotty just caught her as she fell and would have hit her head on the edge of the coffee table.

“Whoopsie daisy. Good catch Scoddy.” Jill giggled leaning her head back against his chest.

“Yeah it was. What book do you need?”

“That one with the car.”

“I see. Your grandfather had cars like this. Once he and I build two bumper cars out of old cars.”
For about ten minutes Jane and Jill were sitting on the couch while Scotty showed them the book with old cars. “Scoddy I can’t do this! I need to run!” And off she was running out of the garden where she took her miniature lacrosse stick and started playing with herself.

“Well I think I should be outside too, to make sure Jill does not hurt herself. How about I take your little piano out and you can play us some music while Jill and I play some lacrosse?”

“I can do that. Would you like me to play Mozart or Brahms? Edward taught me.” Jane said gentle.

“Oh erm any you like.” Scotty chuckled, put the piano on the blanket and went to play with Jill lacrosse for a while.

“Oh shit, Jane are you okay?” Scotty hurried to the little girl curled up on the blanket.

“It is just her elevenses.” Jill said and went to her sister and kissed her on her cheek. Scotty smiled about the tenderness Jill showed.

“Oh does she always sleep at eleven?” Scotty asked.

“Yes just before lunch. When she wakes up we have lunch.” Jill said matter-of-factly.
Right lunch, do you want to stay with Jane and have a nap too or do you want to help me make lunch?” Scotty was a little worried about lunch. So far he had not encountered Jane’s OCD too much.

“I run some laps.” Jill said and went off to run around the garden.

“Okay, well I can see you from the kitchen window. Don’t leave the garden okay?”

“Okay.” Jill shouted still running.

Scotty check one more time on Jane and then hurried in the kitchen to prepare lunch. He thought the girls liked sandwiches so he cut the bread in hearts sliced cheese, washed lettuce and several other sandwich ingredients and carried everything outside on the patio table. He also had some orange juice with bits, milk and also water to have a small choice for the girls.

“Hello Jane, did you sleep well?” Scotty smiled and Jane that was nodding and climbed on a chair. “Jill can you come here please for lunch?”

As soon Jill was sitting at the table she was delighted of the heart shaped bread but Jane was not so much. “No, no, no. All wrong! No.” Jane started mumbling and shook her head. “All wrong.”

“Jane tell me what is it?” Scotty looked worried at Jane. “You can eat all of this separate see nothing is touching.”

“No! This is wrong.” Jane was shaking now.

Scotty looked so worried at the little girl, Jill was happy eating her self-made sandwich she was actually quite proud of herself. Even after several minutes he didn’t manage to convince Jane to eat or drink something which worried him it was quite a warm day and Jane needs fluids.


Okay Scotty time to call it a defeat. Time for the backup.

“Listen I will be right back just wait here okay?” Scotty went to the phone and called a number he knew so well it had never changed.


“Hello this is Scotty Chadwick, may I talk to Lord Colin Williams please.” Scotty said sounding defeated to the servant on the other side on the phone.

Fifteen minutes later, Colin stood in front of Scotty’s door. Scotty looked very relieved when his friend appeared at his little cottage. Colin was actually so tall that the cottage suddenly looked even smaller, like a doll’s house, at least with him standing in the rooms.
“Thanks for coming”, Scotty said. “We’re in the garden.”

“No problem.” Colin smiled friendly at him. “Is it Jill?”

“Oh, no, Jill is easy to handle. It’s Jane and her eating that gives me problems. She won’t eat or drink anything.”

“Oh, I see. Yes, even Jo and Liam often have problems with that, it doesn’t get any easier although they are used to it.”

“Grandfather!”, Jill squeaked when Colin came into the garden. “You’re here too!”

“Hey, little girl.” He bent down and planted a kiss on Jill’s head, then on Jane’s, who looked quite stiff. “Hello, Jane. How are you, darling? Don’t you want to eat some of your food?”

She just shook her head. “It’s all wrong.”

“It’s not wrong, it’s yummy!”, Jill said with stuffed cheeks, already grabbing another sandwich.

“I thought children like sandwiches, all children I know do, but I guess Jane doesn’t”, Scotty said a little worried. “Is she allergic against anything from the sandwich?”

“Oh no, I know what her problem is. She doesn’t eat a sandwich together, she needs everything separate. Here, let me help you…” Colin sorted out the issue by completely separating everything of the sandwich on little plates, until Jane had four little plates in front of her, and to Scotty’s surprise, the little girl finally began to eat. It was funny to watch the girls eat, they were just complete polar opposites from each other; while Jane very carefully picked out her food, Jill just stuffed her face with it, so that her grandfather had to remind her strictly that she had to eat more properly.

“Help yourself to the sandwiches, I made enough to feed an army”, Scotty said. “And as I recall, you’re always hungry because you’re always growing, isn’t that right, Colin?”

Colin chuckled. “Well, I wasn’t lying about that.” He grinned at his friend. “By the way, did you get shorter?”, he asked teasingly. He already used to tease Scotty about his height when they were young lads.”

“You’re such a bonehead.” Scotty hit him playfully in the shoulder, which didn’t affect Colin much, he almost had the shoulders of a rugby player- a retired rugby player, of course.

“Scoddy! Scoddy!” Jill suddenly jumped up and sat down on his lap. She stared at him for a moment, but then she put both of her little hands on his cheeks and frowned. “This doesn’t go off…”

Colin raised an eyebrow at his granddaughter. “Jill, darling, what are you doing with poor Scotty?”

“I have to clean the spots. They are everywhere.”

Both men laughed when they realised she was talking about his freckles while the little girl tried to ‘wipe off’ Scotty’s freckles, which simply didn’t want to work.
“Jill, those are not spots, they are freckles”, her grandfather explained. “Some people are born with them, they do look like little spots but they are always on your skin, you can’t remove them. Your mummy has a few of them too. Not as many as Scotty though, he even has them on his arms, but she has a few on her face. Very little ones.”

That made Jill stop. “Oh.” Then she looked at Scotty again and giggled. “Well, I like them, your spots.”

Now Jane also got a little closer to Scotty, watching him attentively. “We could organise them”, she suggested quietly. “I could put them into place. There are some on your forehead, I don’t think they belong there.”

Scotty glanced from Jane over to Colin. “Do your granddaughters have a personal issue with freckles?”

“No!”, Jill shouted. “I like them!”

“So I don’t have to worry that you try to wipe them off my face then?”

She shook her head. “No. The spots can stay.”

After lunch both girls got sleepy, even Jill. It wasn’t unusual for Jane to fall asleep in the afternoon but Jill joined her sister this time, and the girls curled up on the big couch in the cosy living room which was connected to a nice winter garden, where Colin and Scotty sat down and had some tea. They finally had time to catch up, they had only seen each other briefly now and then, Scotty had been very involved with Waterfall Downs and various charities that Arthur had once founded, and Colin was once again very occupied with his wife’s health.

“This is a very nice place you got here”, Colin said as they made themselves comfortable in the winter garden. “So, did you still recognise Waterfall Downs after all this time?”

“Oh yes, most of it still looks familiar, although I do have to say that Liam and Jo did an amazing job with turning this big mansion into a school, it’s great.”

Colin smiled proudly. “They sure are a power couple, those two. Individually they are already two strong young people but together…”

Scotty nodded in agreement. “I can tell. They both seem to know exactly what they want at such a young age. Jo is just lovely and so smart, just like you.” He winked at his friend.

“Oh, thank you”, Colin replied. “Yes, she is a bright young lady, I was hoping some of my love for literature would rub off on her, and it did. And Liam…that boy, he has the most amazing knowledge about science that I’ve ever seen. He’s only in his twenties and I feel like he already knows more than I do.”

“Not possible.”

“Oh yes, believe me. He is over-the-roof smart.” Colin took a sip of his tea and a brief grin crossed his face. “And he reminds me a lot of you.”

Scotty chuckled quietly. “I was never a science geek.”

“Well, not that part about him, but his whole personality. He’s a lot like you used to be when I first met you, cheeky and clever and outspoken.”

“Sometimes a little rude…”

“I’d say ‘honest’ is the right word.” Colin scrutinised his friend smilingly. “You were more honest than rude.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that way.”

Colin was quiet for a moment, still watching his friend closely. “Man, I have to say, you look really good, Scotty. I’m a little jealous, actually.”

Scotty raised his eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

“Hell yes! I mean, already all those years back, when we were young, you looked like you got plenty of sun, but now…you look like a healthy Spanish man, and you still have such a full set of hair on your head and your hair isn’t even that grey! I have more grey hair than you do, and I’m still four years younger than you, just to point that out again…”

Scotty laughed. “I’m sorry, it’s not my fault. And for the colour of my skin…I was never pale to begin with, at least not like most British people with their paper white faces.”

“That’s true, I always envied you for that.” He took another sip of his tea. “But I’m glad to see you so healthy and well-looking…”

“Yeah…” Scotty looked down on the floor, seeming a bit absent now. “Wasn’t always like that. There were times I looked a lot worse.”

Since Colin and Scotty had always been very honest to each other, Colin decided to ask him something that had been on his mind for so long.
“Scotty, could you…could you tell me what happened to you after Arthur died?”, he asked very carefully. “I know it’s a painful subject but you have no idea how worried I was all these years, not hearing once from you. I really thought I’d lost you too…”

“You almost did.” Scotty bit his lip briefly, then he looked up. “I just…I lost it. I just didn’t want to live anymore, every damn morning a new day started and I was just waiting to get this day over as soon as possible.” He didn’t want to go into further details how hard it was to lose his soulmate, the light of his life. He knew Colin would understand. “Every day felt endless, dragging on forever, I just couldn’t handle it anymore. The emptiness…that was probably the worst part.”

“You know you could have come to me.”

“No offence, Colin, but I needed to get away. I had to leave England and everything that reminded me of him, and you were a big part that would constantly remind me of him, all the time, so I couldn’t even face you”, Scotty admitted. “So I had to get away as far as possible, I first wanted to go to France but everything there reminded me of him as well, and so did the rest of Europe, so I went to Asia, because we haven’t been there before. Singapore, Malaysia…that area. Didn’t really understand anyone around me, but then again, I just wanted to be alone anyway, didn’t want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I moved from year to year, staying in that area but different countries, and in between I was often very close to…to just ending it, you know. I just wanted it to end already.”

Colin looked concerned at him. “Your life?”

Scotty nodded. “There was just no point anymore.”

Colin remembered how hard it hit him when he lost his oldest friend, his big brother, and he was also aware that if it hadn’t been for his beautiful little daughter, who was waiting for him at home and brought a smile to his face, even during that very dark time, he would have broken apart as well. It was his little Jo who kept him going, because of her he stayed strong, but Scotty didn’t have anyone like that at home. Since he was fifteen, the main and most important person in his life was the one he had lost, and when Arthur died, the biggest part of Scotty had died as well.
That’s why Colin was so glad to see his friend healthy and well, to have him back here where he belonged and Colin sure as hell wouldn’t let him go that easily, ever again. Originally, Scotty had been in charge for all of Arthur’s foundations after his death, but since Scotty disappeared without a trace, Colin had taken them over. Looking at Scotty now, seeing so much of the cheeky, confident boy in him, Colin knew that Scotty would be able to continue carrying out Arthur’s work. He had come out of this dark place, back into the light, and he seemed very strong again and definitely able to continue where Arthur had left off.
He didn’t want to into too much details, although he knew that Scotty was usually quite open and honest, but Colin didn’t want to ask him exactly about his suicidal thoughts, he could tell that this dark phase had passed and he looked forward to spend more time with his good friend.

“I just can say it over and over again”, he said after the two men were quiet for a while. “I’m so happy to have you back, you have no idea. I really missed you and I was incredibly worried.”

“Well, your time of worrying has come to an end”, Scotty replied. “I’ll be staying here, for good. I mean, how could I leave now, with that little redhead Jill who expects me to make a professional lacrosse player out of her?”

Colin chuckled. “Oh yes, dear little Jill…She’s something, isn’t she?”

Scotty grinned. “I love this girl, I’m going to kidnap her, I’m serious.”

“Well, at least I would know that she’s in good hands then”, Colin said, still laughing. He wasn’t surprised Jill and Scotty got along so well, they were just too much alike, she could have been Scotty’s granddaughter, that’s how much her personality reminded him of his friend.
Colin liked how much Scotty still looked like himself. Sure, he got older, they both did, but Colin could still see so much of the lively, cocky boy in him, he even had all his freckles. Colin didn’t know many older men who had a face full of freckles, but Scotty did. Colin remembered how much Arthur had loved them, and nobody could blame him for that.

Scotty finished his tea and looked up, a bit more serious again. “There’s still something I haven’t asked you, a bit of an elephant in the room, actually…”

It was crazy, even though they hadn’t seen each other in such a long time he still knew what Scotty was thinking.
“You mean Alfie?” It was less a question and more a statement, and Scotty nodded.

Scotty took a deep breath. “You know, shortly before Arthur died he kept…he kept talking to me about Alfie; how important it is to watch over him and he asked me to make him promise to take care of Alfie in case he died. I obviously didn’t want to hear any of that but for some strange reason Arthur kind of…he seemed to know that he wouldn’t live long because just months before his death he constantly asked me if I would look after Alfie. Since I didn’t want to talk about this subject of death, didn’t even want to think about it, I just said things like ‘sure’, ‘of course’, you know, to make him quiet. I wanted him to stop asking me this question, I was convinced that we both would have more years together so I didn’t want to think of the possibility that he could die anytime soon.”

Colin nodded quietly. “He came to me as well, asking me the same thing. He wanted to know in case something happens to him, that I can assure him to make sure Alfie will be alright. Of course I couldn’t fully assure him that, I wasn’t related to Alfie and I couldn’t have taken him away from his parents, not even if I tried. The Jacksons are very powerful people, not even I could have done anything. But you’re right, now that I’m thinking about it…it seemed like Arthur had a sense of foreboding, like he knew that he wouldn’t live long enough to see his grandson grow up.”

“I just feel like we let Arthur down”, Scotty said quietly. “I just…I just left the country, I didn’t even think of Alfie.”

“Well, you obviously struggled too much, you couldn’t have taken care of another human being anyway”, Colin replied gently. “You shouldn’t blame yourself, and we both let Arthur down, we both didn’t take care of his ‘special one’.”

A weak smile crossed Scotty’s face. “That’s what he called him, I remember. His special one…”

“But like I said, we both would have been powerless against the Jacksons, even I couldn’t have done much, I’m afraid.” Colin studied his friend’s concerned face. He remembered how, as a little boy, he already wanted to ‘rescue’ Arthur. Although he never knew for sure what exactly was going one behind closed doors of Whitehaven Manor, he knew that Lady Constance Jackson was evil, and when Colin was little he imagined himself as a knight who would jump on a horse, completely covered in armour, and get the beautiful Prince Arthur out of his prison and slay the vicious dragon, which, of course, was Lady Constance. Then, many years later, Colin was in a similar situation, only he wasn’t a child anymore and he knew, realistically, that he could not save the other ‘prince’, little Alfie, from his prison, which was always one of his biggest regrets.
Colin cleared his throat. “And if I’m honest, I didn’t want to listen to Arthur either. I also thought he would have more time, that he would see Alfie grow up, so when he mentioned that subject I was also not very willing to listen. It was too hard, thinking of that possibility…”

Scotty nodded. The two men were quiet for a bit, only the distant snoring of Jill travelled through the living room right into the winter garden. “So…what exactly happened to Alfie?”, Scotty asked carefully. “I mean, after the funeral, and when I left…”

Colin didn’t answer immediately, then he sighed quietly. “He grew up. Too fast, way too fast. Basically the day Arthur died, Alfie decided to say goodbye to boyhood. You didn’t go to Arthur’s funeral, so you didn’t see him but I kept looking over to him, this nine-year old boy, and I didn’t recognise Arthur’s little boy anymore. There was a harshness in his face I have never seen on him before, or on any other child’s, for that matter. And I guess that’s when it started to go downhill and he entered a very long, dark phase.”

“But he was so young.”

“Like I said, the day Arthur died, Alfie grew up. He wasn’t a child anymore. Yes, on paper he was nine years old but in reality there was nothing of a child in him anymore. It just left, or he abandoned it, I don’t know. I mean, I didn’t see him a lot but from the little I saw in the first months after Arthur’s death, I was quite shocked. Alfie became completely inapproachable, rude, cold…he started to sound like his father, actually. I was really worried that he would turn into a second Broderick Jackson, it certainly looked like it. By the time he was thirteen he already smoked, was perfectly familiar with his family’s wine cellar and other liquors…and that reputation he got…” Colin shook his head. “He got a really bad reputation as teenager. I’m not joking when I’m saying that mothers of teenage daughters were terrified of him, they tried to keep their daughters as far away from him as possible. Well, normal mothers…My wife Elizabeth, on the other hand…” He shook his head again. “She and Alfie’s mother Charlotte were quite close when the children were younger, although Charlotte is many years younger than Elizabeth but they got along quite well and for a while they kind of planned to get Jo married off to Alfie, but I guess Alfie’s reputation got so bad as he grew older that even Elizabeth finally worried about that and looked for alternatives. Certainly not the best alternatives, worse, actually, like that Gray boy, but anyway…that was Alfie. There was nothing kind about this boy anymore, Arthur would have been so shocked to see his little boy like that. He wouldn’t recognise him anymore. Not a chance.”

Scotty had listened attentively, then he cleared his throat. “So we let both of them down, Arthur and Alfie.”

Colin leaned back in his seat, frowning. “The best for Alfie would have been to move to a place far, far away from his parents but that was impossible.” He paused for a moment, looking a bit absent. “It all would have been lost, Alfie would have been lost…if it hadn’t been for this one very special boy who came into his life. I think you met Ricky, haven’t you?”

Scotty smiled. “Of course. Such a little cutie…”

Colin chuckled. “Oh, he sure is, but more importantly, he saved Alfie. This boy really saved him. Ricky is by far the best thing that happened to Alfie. I mean, all hope was lost and then…then this boy comes along. This very shy, very polite young man, who attended the same class as my daughter at Oxford. He comes from a similar background like you, worked his way up to the top and is now a professor at Oxford. I think Alfie had never loved anyone except his grandfather, and then Ricky came along…” He was quiet for a moment, smiling briefly. “And this boy managed, completely on his own, to bring a little bit of Arthur’s Alfie back. He managed to look past Alfie’s harsh exterior and just looked right into his heart, and apparently he must have discovered that there was still something there, something good and kind, and he was the one who brought it out again. He believed in Alfie from the very first day. One would never think that this shy boy would be capable of something so incredible.”

“Yes”, Scotty mumbled. “Ricky seems to be an amazing young man, I immediately though that after I met him.”

“And you’re right about that. The patience he must have with Alfie…incredible! Alfie is really not an easy individual but Ricky is so patient with him and has the best influence on him that Alfie possibly could receive. I think what makes Ricky especially unique is that heart of his. Such a kind, loving, giving heart that seems to be so big that it can carry everything. One does not come across a heart like that often in life. In fact, I’ve seen it only once before, a heart like that…” He smiled at Scotty whose brown doe eyes were still those of a young boy, attentive and vibrant. “Yes, now that I think about it”, Colin continued with a gentle voice. “Ricky and Arthur have many things in common, despite their very different backgrounds and upbringing, but when it comes to their personalities…that heart, that kindness, always polite, rather self-conscious, and so, so caring. They both have extraordinarily beautiful souls.” He paused for a moment. “You know what is funny? If Arthur would have died before Ricky was born, I would have almost believed that his soul was reborn, with Ricky, that’s how much their souls resemble each other. And honestly, I’m not surprised that Alfie fell in love with Ricky. Maybe deep down, in his subconscious, Ricky reminded him of the only other person Alfie had ever loved.” Colin didn’t mean to make Scotty sad, but right now Scotty looked incredibly sad.

“That sounds nice”, Scotty said quietly. “That can only be good for Alfie, having Ricky in his life.”

“Oh yes, it really was the best thing that could have happened to him. He didn’t really have many friends, I mean, he completely closed down after Arthur died, he only had James but even James wasn’t allowed to get close to Alfie, and after they graduated James moved away. You remember James McAlister, don’t you?”

“Oh, you mean the little Scottish boy with the big blue eyes?”

Colin laughed. “Yes, that one. He’s a teacher at Waterfall Downs now.”

“Is he? That is great. I really liked that boy.”

“Yes, he was already a good influence on Alfie but like I said, Alfie let nobody remotely close to him, not even James, and so James had no other choice than to watch his friend become a…well…not a nice person. Then Alfie and Liam, my son-in-law, became friends, which was also a good thing for Alfie, and well, then Ricky happened. I don’t know all the details, I honestly get most of my knowledge from Jo, who is extremely close to Ricky, but yes, after all these years I think there is some hope that Alfie could change for the better again. He already did in some ways.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Scotty smiled. “All due to Ricky, hm?”

Colin nodded. “Yes. All due to him.”

That same moment they heard something moving. Jill woke up again, glancing sleepy around the room.

“So…” Colin cleared his throat. “Ready for round two?”

“Scoddy? I need much coffee.” Jill announced loudly it made Scotty chuckle.

“Jill, Princess that is not a proper sentence. This dear man’s name is not Scoddy with two ds but with two ts Scotty. And even though you would not get any coffee if you say a proper sentence but you do not say ‘I need much coffee’ but ‘I need a coffee’.“ Colin said not strict but in a teacher voice.

“Whoopsey.” Jill grinned. “May I have much coffee.”

Now both older gentlemen started laughing. “At least she asked more polite.” Scotty laughed. “Jill my dear would you like to have some juice?”

“Okay that works too.” Jill said with a generous air in her voice. While Scotty went in the kitchen with Jill to get her a glass of juice and also got one for Jane, Colin was with Jane.

“Good afternoon Grandpapa.” Jane whispered.

“Good afternoon, my little princess.” Colin brushed Jane’s hair out of her face. “Do you have your little brush? I can comb your hair.”

“Thank you Grandpapa.” Jane smiled went to her little purse and got out her little brush. Colin took the little girl on his lap and started brushing her hair.

“So Jill decided she want to play a little bit more outside and she would like to take Jane with her.” Scotty said, he handed Jane her sippy cup and Colin another glass of water.

“I have to show you some more of my lacrosse Janey, you tell me if I’m even.” Jill took Jane’s hand and together the two girls went outside.

“Do you think we should go with them?” Scotty looked a little worried at the girls, he saw them through the French door that led into the garden.

“No it is okay we can see them and they need their freedom.” Colin smiled he had gotten up and stood next to Scotty. “I am glad you are back Scotty, I can really need a friend. You are not leaving any time soon are you?”

“Colin are you alright?” Scotty looked concerned at Colin, the latter was watching the girls in the garden.

“I am, but…” Colin fell silent for a moment he had to think of Arthur and how he always felt to hide his sorrows from him. He took a deep breath. “It is Elizabeth, she is… she is very ill. Elizabeth has schizophrenia; she had suffered all the children we lost. And then finally eleven years ago a doctor diagnosed her, but it took until a few years ago that she admitted that she needed help. I don’t want to make you feel guilty but I needed you. I need you now.” Colin said quietly.

“I am sorry I did not come back earlier, I am here now. I am here now.” Scotty put his hand on Colin’s shoulder.

“And I am glad. Elizabeth is better, she is taking her medication but sometimes well it is not easy. She has her good moments and her bad ones. It is not clear what causes it, there are several factors that all play together the environment and genetics. I worry about Jo, my darling Jo.”

“Jo is a strong woman, I think you do not need to worry about her.”

“She had a break down five years ago. She got kidnapped and the people did horrible things to her.”

“Did they…” Scotty’s voice trailed off.

Jane was sitting on a chair and watched Jill play with her lacrosse stick throwing and catching a ball.

“I don’t know. A nurse examined her and the result was passed on to the judge the records are sealed. I’m not sure if Jo remembers but when she was found she had a breakdown. Things like that can be a causing factor.”

“Does Jo know about this?” Scotty asked, he was still very cheeky and forward and said what he thought but with time he had learned not to speak harshly.

“Jo knows about her mother’s illness but I was not able to tell her that she herself is at risk. It is a low risk but how can I tell my darling daughter that her mother might have passed on an illness that made her torment her own daughter?”

“Colin you need to tell Jo. She needs to know. She has two daughters on her own and when there are early signs to look out for Jo needs to know those signs.” Scotty looked determined at Coli.

“I know. I will tell her.” Colin looked up. “Can you promise me something Scotty?”

“Anything Colin.” Scotty looked at his friend.

“If anything happens and you notice that I want to run away and hide I need you to stop me, I need you to get me back, make sure I stay here. You won’t let me go.” Colin looked with sincere at his friend.

“I promise.” Scotty sighed deeply. “Shall we join the twins enjoy the company of two wonderful little girls.”

“You would steal Jill if you could wouldn’t you?” Colin laughed.

“Oh yes in a heartbeat.” Scotty laughed.

“Scoddy! Grandpapa come play with me.” Jill shouted so excited to see the two older men. Colin laughed and went to Jill she explained him with as much detail as possible to her grandfather how he has to hold the lacrosse stick and tried to play with her poor old grandfather lacrosse. While Scotty sat down next to Jane, the little girl was starring not even blinking.

“Jane, Sweetie are you alright?” Scotty looked concerned at the little girl, she was… nearly a little bit odd or at least so different to her sister Jill. Slowly Jane blinked and turned her head to Scotty.

“Yes. I like to look at things.” Jane said.

“I see. What do you see?”

“Jill is happy in her eyes. Grandpapa moves quicker when he is with us. And you are like Auntie Ricky.” Jane commented calmly.

“You are very smart Jane.” Scotty smiled at Jane.


((As a good friend of mine said: “First we got to create the mood…”)) 
 


“Can you tell me a story Uncle Scotty?” Jane climbed off her chair and on Scotty’s lap.

“Anything you have in mind?” Scotty asked the little girl on his lap.

“Love.” Jane smiled. “Uncle Scotty are you alone?”

“No you are here and Jill is here and I have your Grandpapa and you mummy and daddy as friends.” Scotty said quietly. Jane looked knowingly at Scotty and then patted his arm.

“So the story. I have a story, a very special one to me. You have to tell me if you don’t like it.” Scotty said he was worried a little bit that he should not tell Jane this story but it was his favourite love story even though he did not like the ending. “I like all stories with love.”

Colin sat down next to Scotty panting and taking a large sip of his water.

“So this story began on a special day many years ago on March 17^th-.”

“It’s Daddy’s birthday.” Jane looked excited at Scotty.

“It is indeed but that was long before your daddy was on this world yet.”

“Was he still with the angels?”

Scotty looked surprised and then he saw Colin nodded behind Jane. “Yes he was still with the angels. So it was a sunny day when they met.”

“Oh I know this story.” Colin smiled. He didn’t mean any harm when he interfered but he wanted to protect his two best friends. “It is the story about Chad and Jack.”

Scotty grinned, he got it right away. “Yes it is… So here we go: On March 17^th on the lacrosse field, there was Chad he was a very good player but on that day ha made a total fool out of himself because something deeply disturbing was happening to him. On that very special day, he fell in love with another boy, Jack.”

“Just like Auntie Ricky.” Jane whispered completely absorbed into the story. Jill who had joined them giggled. “But Auntie Ricky can’t play lacrosse if Hook would hunt him down.”

“Well yes your Auntie Ricky cannot play lacrosse but yes Chad and Jack were just like Ricky and Alfie…” Scotty continued the story and was amazed how much the girls loved the story. “So Chad and Jack had world against them, society against them but still, nothing could take away what they had.”

“True love!” Jane and Jill whispered. And then Jane looked up and Scotty.

“Sometimes we meet an angel. I think my mummy is an angel. One day God needs her back. She is here to help my daddy learn to love again and all those children that no one wants. And then we have to kiss her. And say goodbye. And be happy that we had her for a little while.” Jane said in the wise voice of a three year old. “And one day when we all are in heaven we are together again. And then we meet Grandma Cathy, she was an angel too. And God needed her to help the ocean.”

Colin swallowed hard and pulled Jill in tight hug, Jane hugged Scotty tightly. “As long as you remember your angel Scotty he will be with you. Forever!”

Ricky had just finished his last class of the day. Not far from his office was a special event that took place, organised by the university which had invited the ladies of the Primrose League- one of Great Britain’s most conservative organisations with a bunch of British upper class ladies who were married to important men- mainly politicians, doctors and lawyers- and of course ladies who came from aristocratic families. Although none of these ladies had attended since Oxford University just started to accept female students about ten years ago, most of their husbands were alumni, and so their wives were also welcomed into the university’s old, traditional gates.
Today there would be a meeting followed by a fancy dinner for those ladies with Oxford alumni and important professors, most of them older gentlemen.
Ricky was about to finish up his work for today, he was sitting at his table, marking a few papers when the door opened and someone entered the room. It was a little rude not to knock but when he looked up he realised who it was and he grew incredibly pale.
Lady Eleanor Jackson walked in like she was the Queen herself, certainly dressed very well and tasteful for an older lady, with that air of arrogance, emphasised by her expensive French perfume. The last time Ricky met her was a few years ago in the Jackson mansion, also by an event organised by the university, and that had not gone well. She had called him a paedophile and that he should be locked up in prison, so yes, Ricky’s stomach started to twist when she walked into his office.

“Lady Jackson, what-“

“Sit down, Mr Butcher”, she said strictly, gesturing towards him as he was about to stand up. Ricky obeyed and quickly sat down. She pursed her lips as she scrutinised his office sceptically, almost as if she expected to find something inappropriate here, which was absolutely not the case.

Ricky, always the politest young man there ever was, did not want to show rudeness towards her, even though she had really offended him with hurtful words. “Would you like to take a seat, I-“

“That will not be necessary”, Lady Eleanor interrupted him sharply. “I will not stay that long.”

“Are you here with the Primrose League?” Ricky tried to sound calm but he was very close to trembling. Luckily she couldn’t see that because he had a big desk between them, a very helpful barrier.

“I will just get straight to the point”, she said, ignoring his question. Ricky swallowed hard, his heart was pounding like crazy. She opened her purse and got something out. Bizarrely, Ricky almost expected her to pull out a gun but he knew it was ridiculous. Although…the Jacksons were quite the unpredictable family and Alfie’s grandmother really hated him.
But it was not a gun. It was a cheque book.
“What is your middle name?”

Ricky looked confused. “Ehm…why do you-“

“What is your middle name?”, she repeated coldly.

“Evan.”

Lady Jackson wrote something in the cheque book.

“I…am sorry but why are you-“

“I will need your bank details.”

“Excuse me?”

The older lady sighed annoyed. “Honestly, I cannot believe this university hires people like you. Do you have something on your ears or why do I have to repeat myself all the time? Your bank details.”

Ricky took a deep breath, trying to get all his courage together. “I’m sorry, Lady Jackson, but I would like to know why you want to know these things and why you came to me in the first place.”

She looked up from her cheque book, her cold eyes piercing through his and sending him a shiver down his spine. “Why do you think I am here, Mr Butcher? Maybe to have a cup of tea with you? Or to listen to your stupid, unnecessary questions? Use your brain, Mr Butcher, the Lord must have given you one otherwise you would not have attended this university.”

“By all due respect but I have no idea what you want from me.”

She glanced at him without even blinking, her expression was completely blank. “I am paying you to leave my grandson alone. Once and for all.”

Ricky looked shocked. “What?”

“I am not stupid, Mr Butcher. My daughter-in-law Charlotte might, and probably all these ladies in the Primrose League as well, but you cannot fool me.”
I have been through a situation like this already, she thought but she obviously didn’t say it out loud.
“You are still seeing Alfred, are you not?” It was not asked like a question, it sounded more like an accusation.
Ricky didn’t know what to reply to that. She seemed to know the answer anyway. She scrutinised him scornfully for a moment, making every inch of his body grow tense.

“Men like you, Mr Butcher, are the reason why our society breaks apart. Men like you are a threat to society, to everyone. A threat to the constitution of marriage. The reason why family lines end, why marriages fall apart…” She paused for a moment, almost looking absent. “Men like you are even able to destroy a family that has existed forever and finish it once and for all. A family that lives off tradition, but one man…one man is enough to destroy a family that is centuries old just because you and your kind cannot leave your rotten hands from the men of my family.”

Ricky took another deep breath, he felt like the room was getting smaller and smaller until he would suffocate in it. “Maybe…”, he started, trying to control his voice before it would sound too shaky. “Maybe it is the marriages in your families that are unhappy and doomed to fail from the start, because most Jackson marriages were forced, and maybe Alfie is simply one of the first who refuses to get forced into it…”

Lady Eleanor looked like she was about to slap him and he wouldn’t be surprised if she actually did.
“What do you know of my family, Mr Butcher?”, she asked coldly.

“Enough.” He was surprised how calm his voice had suddenly become. “And it was not me who got your grandson infected with this ‘disease’, as you like to call it. He was already like that when I first met him.” Ricky seriously worried that the older lady would grab a chair and smash it in his face, she looked like she was capable of anything.

“I will not let men like you destroy my family.”

“Maybe your family is destroying itself. It probably always has been.”

A silence followed that was filled with so much tension that Ricky wished he could just disappear in a hole and hide there until this woman was gone.
Now Lady Eleanor seemed to struggle with keeping her composure. “I will pay you a very generous amount of money which you and your family are in desperate need of, and then I expect you to not ever come near Alfred again.”

“I’m very sorry, Lady Jackson, but I will not accept your money. I’m not for sale.”

“Do not be foolish, Mr Butcher. You need the money.”

“I am quite fine, actually, thank you. I will not take your money.” He was shaking inside like a leaf but he managed to be calm on the outside.

Lady Eleanor’s cheeks were bright red now. “You and your filthy kind have destroyed this society! You have to stay away from my grandson, I cannot have this happen to me a second time! This is history repeating itself, I will not allow it-“ She suddenly stopped, realising that she had said too much. She noticed how surprised Ricky looked at her and she suddenly started to look less intimidating and more uncomfortable. She threw the cheque book into her purse and walked towards the door, but before she stormed out of the room she paused, not turning around.
“Just…stay away.” Then she left Ricky’s office and shut it loudly behind her.

Ricky leaned back in his seat and had to take a couple deep breaths, his heart was beating so quickly that he worried it would jump out of his chest any second. This woman left him still intimidated, just like the last time, but he had seen a tiny glimpse of something…human. When she talked about history repeating itself and her very last words, Ricky recognised something almost hurt in her voice. It was so bizarre because all he knew of Lady Eleanor Jackson was this harsh, merciless coldness about her, she was the ice queen that covered everything around her in frost and left people freezing after her departure, but the last words sounded a lot less harsh and a lot more like a woman who had been hurt. Ricky was very perceptive and noticed these kind of things, and even though he was shaking from what had just happened, he was also confused and started to wonder about the real reason why Lady Eleanor hated him so much.

Ricky waited as long as he could before he went home but he knew that he couldn’t wait much longer or Alfie would go mental and since the whole gay bar incident Alfie is even more jealous than he was before.

“Alfie?” Ricky called with a small voice from the door as he took off his shoes and coat.

“Where have you been?” Alfie sounded excited and hopeful and glad for Ricky to be hope. “Did you get shagged again in your favourite bar?” His voice had changed and sounded… defeated.

“No I did not I worked late, I knew you would distract me so I thought I stay a little longer on campus.” Ricky walked close t Alfie and wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind, his hands were trembling a little. For a brief moment Alfie enjoyed the closeness of his Lover Boy and then suddenly he got a whiff of…

“What the fuck!?” Alfie pushed Ricky’s arms aside and turned around to face him. “What did she do?”

“W-who?” Ricky was a really bad liar, like really bad.

“My Grandmother? Did she hurt you? Why the fuck was she on campus anyway? Shit! Why can the old hag not just die?” Alfie yelled as he kissed Ricky’s hands which he was holding in his.

“Alfie please.” Ricky whispered.

“What did she want?”

“I am going to make some time would you like some?” Ricky pulled his hands out of Alfie’s craps and went in the kitchen without waiting.

“Rick Evan Butcher, what did she want?” Alfie had followed him, crossed his arms and looked expecting at Ricky.

“I’m making you a tea as well, with some lemon. I know you don’t like milk in it.”

“Ricky!”

Ricky took a deep breath. “She tried to give me money so I go away.”

“She what?” Alfie slammed his fists on the kitchen counter so hard that the cutting boards fell down. Ricky shrieked and jumped aside.

“Alfie!”

“No! Don’t Alfie me. What the fuck is her problem?”

“That I am a boy and from the lower class.” Ricky whispered.

“I am going to kill her!” Alfie yelled so loud and angry that he actually scared Ricky, okay it was not hard to do that.

“No just ignore her.” Ricky tried to calm down.

“What else did she say?” Alfie demanded.

Ricky looked miserable on the ground. “Her cheeks actually were bright red , it was rather weird.”

“What else did she say?”

“You and your filthy kind have destroyed this society! You have to stay away from my grandson, I cannot have this happen to me a second time! I will not allow it-“ 

“She? Said? WHAT?” Alfie screamed from the top of his lungs, Ricky went pale and flinched. Alfie sighed deeply. “Come here.” Alfie’s voice was so gentle, so calm, so loving.

“I did not mean to yell at you, but I hate that she does this. You are trembling like a leave and are pale like a sheet. I love your rosy complexion. And I will kill her.”

Ricky stepped into Alfie’s embrace and clawed himself into his shirt. “Please just stay here, don’t hurt her. I don’t know why but I feel like she is already hurt. She was very weird just before she left.”

“Yeah I tell you why because she got an entire pine tree up her ass!” Alfie snorted into Ricky’s shoulder. “I hate that you smell like her! Come shower with me.” Alfie whispered.

“Oh…” Ricky blushed and pulled away from Alfie. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, let me soap your back, lick at your nipple, I gonna take your cock and -“

“Okay okay I understand…” Ricky was deeply red.

“So?” Alfie nibbled at Ricky’s neck.

“You know people think you are very mean and cold hearted but you are not.” Ricky giggled shy. Alfie grinned wickedly and pulled Ricky up the spiral staircase while he started to pull off layer after layer of Ricky’s clothes.

“Alfie, this is so… scandalous.” Ricky giggled nervously.

“Yeah sex in the bathroom.” Alfie kissed Ricky passionately. “And I still will kill her, how dare she to tell you that you are not worth anything. I hate the old hag, fucking bitch!”
Ricky sighed. “Can we not just avoid her for another few years?”

“I hate her, fucking cunt.” Alfie snorted.

“I love you Alfie.” Ricky whispered, Alfie stiffened and then kissed Ricky passionately while the warm water sprayed down on them.

“I gonna tear her a new-“

“Alfie stop.” Ricky turned his head. “Stop thinking about your grandmother or I start to worry you need her to get… you know… that hard, could you do… erm.”


Alfie grinned. “Oh you like that huh. As you wish. As you wish Lover Boy.”

It was a Thursday afternoon and Alfie just invited himself over to Waterfall Downs to visit his best friend. Well, technically to visit his two best friends, who conveniently happened to work at the same school.
All classes were finished when Alfie arrived, and he went straight to look for James, so after he found him they two talked for a bit, but then James had to supervise some extra-curricular sport activities so Alfie went to look for the person he had originally wanted to visit in the first place; Liam.
Alfie asked a few people if they saw Liam (some of the younger students actually jumped out of the way because they were very intimidated by the young Lord Jackson) but one of the older students told him that he saw Mr Liam going to his lab a while ago, so that’s where Alfie was heading. On his way to the lab, however, he spotted someone with whom he still had to pick a bone or two.

“Hey, garden gnome!”, he said loudly when Dan just walked around the corner. The younger boy looked up quizzically.

“Oh, hey…” He wasn’t scared of Alfie like the other students were. He used to be scared of him but ever since he gained so much confidence he was no longer scared of anyone, really. “How are you doing?”

Alfie looked completely confused for a moment. Why the hell was this kid so nice to him?
He quickly gathered himself and cleared his throat. “You keep your dick off Ricky, got it?”

“Ehm…” Dan looked a little uncomfortable because they were in the middle of a school building and there could be students who listened to their conversation. “Don’t worry, I’m not into Ricky. We are just friends.”

“Friends, hm? Probably more friends with benefits…” Alfie scanned the younger boy with a judging expression. “You just want to get into his pants, and if you ever do, I swear, I will rip off-“

“Okay, okay, I’m pretty sure I know what you want to rip off”, Dan quickly interrupted him. “Seriously, though, I have a boyfriend and besides, I would never make a move on Ricky, I know he’s taken.” Dan obviously never told Alfie that he had once kissed Ricky, he could only imagine how much drama that would bring if Alfie found out. “Anyway, I have to go now, we have a yearbook meeting, so-“

“I have my eyes on you”, Alfie said, slightly threatening.

“I’m sure you do”, Dan mumbled, then turned around and walked away.

A little later Alfie arrived at Liam’s lab and tried to open the door but it was locked, so he let out an annoyed sigh and knocked loudly on the door. “Little Man, it’s me! Are you in there?” He heard a noise, some shoving around and then the door was opened. Liam wore his lab coat and had a pair of goggles hanging around his neck.

“Hey, man, what are you doing here? Let me guess…you go bored?”

“I just wanted to pay you a visit, that’s all. I saw James earlier today. Can I come in?”

“Ehm…I’m really picky with my lab and don’t like others going in-“

“Okay, great.” Alfie simply talked over him and walked into the lab. Liam sighed quietly behind him and closed the door while Alfie sat down on the couch and crossed his arms behind his head.
“So what exactly are you hiding in here? Some hard core porn? Sex toys?”

Liam rolled his eyes. “This is a place of work, nothing else.”

Alfie raised an eyebrow. “Come on! I’m pretty sure you already masturbated on this couch right here.”

Liam looked caught. “You’re gross.”

“Am I right?”

Liam sighed once more. “Well, yeah…occasionally I do, but it’s not like some kinky business is going down here in this lab.”

Alfie smirked. “That’s my boy.”

“You’re an idiot.” Liam shook his head, trying not to think of the fact that his best friend was probably imagining him masturbating now. Alfie’s mind was just that twisted, and he was always obsessed with catching a glimpse of Liam naked.

“So what do you build in here?” Alfie’s gaze wandered around the room.

“Oh, this and that.”

“Do you know how to build a vibrator?”

Liam looked shocked and surprised at his friend. “A vibrator? I…I’ve never built one before but…but I think I could… In theory, yes. Why?” He scrutinised his friend sceptically. “Isn’t that something women usually purchase?”

“Yeah, I want to give one to my grandmother, the old hag’s birthday is coming up…”

“Seriously?”

Alfie rolled his eyes. “No, Liam, not seriously. Although I’m sure she could use one, God knows when the last time was she saw an actual dick.”

“Aren’t you a little disrespectful towards her?”, Liam asked carefully.

“No, this bitch is not on my list of favourite people right now.” He didn’t feel like getting too much into the whole story of Lady Eleanor threatening Ricky, so he just left it at that, and Liam understood. “And your question if vibrators are only for women”, Alfie continued, “That’s bullshit. Ricky and I are fucking and that always involves two dicks, so whether Ricky uses a vibrator or my actual cock to get pleasure doesn’t really make a difference. Well…okay, there is a difference because my cock delivers a thousand times better than a ridiculous vibrator, but still…you see, men can use it just as well.”

Liam actually started to blush. Yes, he was used to Alfie talking like that but, well…homosexual intimacy and its details just made him feel a little awkward.
“So you…Ricky wants…?”

“No, he doesn’t know any of this but I like to, you know, spice things up a little and I want him to get all the pleasure he needs. And well, I wouldn’t mind using it myself although I’m usually the one doing the penetration and-“

“Alright!”, Liam almost shouted, not wanting to hear anything further about Ricky’s and Alfie’s sex life. “Sure, I can try to build you one but please stop telling me all these…things”

“Oh, Little Man, you act like such a prude, that doesn’t suit you.” Alfie smirked at him. “Especially since I know that it interests you…”

“What interests me?”

“What men do. You know, when they shag.”

Liam’s cheeks turned bright red. “No. No, I don’t want to hear any of that.”

“You would enjoy it, I know you would, you just-“

“Okay, stop! If you want me to build this thing, then please shut up about…about this subject.”

“Fine.” Alfie leaned back in the couch. “So, you want to take my measurements?”

“Sorry, what?”

“For the vibrator. After all, it can’t be too small. It should be my size, which is huge, of course. Although if you would prefer to take your own measurements as a sample…you know, it would be like having a threesome. Ricky, me and Liam, the vibrator.”

“Alfie!” Liam’s face was burning now but in that same moment he was saved by a knock on the door. He quickly walked to the door and opened it, smiling relieved when it was his wife.

“Hey Handsome, I just wanted to let you know that we’ll have dinner in about fifteen minutes, if you want to join me and the girls.”

“Sure.”

She suddenly noticed Alfie in the background, and without being able to suppress it, a slight flush came to her cheeks, turning them pink. “Oh, hi Alfie…I didn’t know you were here. Would you…would you like to have dinner with us? You don’t have to, I mean, if you already have plans…” Why did she sound so nervous? And why was she blushing? It was just Alfie…Why was she acting so strange?
Out of reflex she grabbed Liam’s hand as if she needed him to assure her that she was fine.

“I don’t really have plans, Ricky won’t be home until later. There’s a bloody dinner for the professors and he actually attends this stupid-ass event.”

“So you’re free for dinner then?” What the hell, why was she sounding excited? Jo had no idea what was going on with her right now.

“I guess.” Alfie got up from the couch.

“But no inappropriate topics at the dinner table”, Liam warned him. “There are 3-year old girls around, and Jill always picks up on what the grown-ups say.”

“No worries.” He was standing right next to Liam and Jo now, and Jo’s eyes slowly wandered up. He was quite a bit taller than her husband, so she had to look up more when she looked at Alfie. Alfie caught her staring. “Something the matter, Josephine?”

Jo blushed and quickly shook her head. “Oh no…I…I was just thinking.”
Man, she had no idea why she was acting so weird!

At dinner Jill was going on and on about the book she and Betty had been reading, while Jane had one of her very bad days.

“No. All wrong!”

Jo had made Irish stew and Jill loved it and so did Liam, Liam loved how good Jo was now cooking and with all the lessons she got from Ricky she was not just a good cook but only bought the best ingredients. “Jo, this is so good. Please try a little Jane.” Liam said and took Jo’s hand. He knew that it was hard on Jo when Jane had her bad days. When Liam, Alfie and her came upstairs she was all smiling and bubbly but the longer the dinner went on the quieter Jo got.

“No! There and there so messy.” Jane was pointing at the herbs in the stew. Jo had given her everything in separate areas on her plate and normally it was okay for Jane but something had thrown her off that afternoon.

“Jane please.” Jo was pleading her daughter. “We have yogurt when you eat your stew you get a yogurt.”

Jane was holding her Duckling tightly and refused to eat.

“And then Fi…. There was a horse… not a real one… one in the book…” Jill would not shut up no matter how sarcastic Alfie answered, it just made her giggle when he said that her mother should have cooked her instead of the lamb in the stew.

“Little man is this one.” Alfie pointed at Jane. “Always that complicated? Why does she not eat this passant meal?”

Liam looked at Alfie. “Just let her be please. Where are you going Jo?”

Jo had gotten up. “I just need a moment.”

Jane looked even more upset when Jo left. Jo went in her office and for a few moments she just took a few of deep breaths. “Mummy you sad?”

Jo nearly had a heart attack when Jane suddenly was behind her. “Jane, Munchkin. Why are you not with daddy eating dinner?”

Jo sighed when Jane didn’t answer. “Do you want to tell me why you are so upset?”

“Me dirty.” Jane whispered.

“What?”

“My knickers… there is poopy…” Jane whispered.

“Oh is that all. Come on lets change you.” Jo quickly changed her daughter and was surprised that it was a tiny smudge in Jane’s knickers.

“Mummy me hungry.”

Jo laughed. “Yes I thought I heard your tummy grumble like a big bear.”

“Okay, crisis is over we had a little knickers incident.” Jo smiled when she and Jane came back in the kitchen. Jill was on her third plate of stew and still talking like a little waterfall to Alfie. Liam smiled and kissed Jane as she climbed back on the bench next to her sister and finally started to eat her stew.

“Seriously? That one shit her pants? Disgusting.” Alfie remarked, and Jane froze right away.

“It is okay Princess, Uncle Alfie has no idea what he is talking about, remember he lives with Uncle Ricky he doesn’t even know how pretty your knickers are.” Liam said with a side glance at Alfie who just shrugged his shoulders.

“Daddy, Fi said a bad word.” Jill was giggling that her chewed food flew across the table right at Liam.

“Thanks Jill I prefer to eat my stew and not wear it. But you are right he did.” Liam laughed.

“Whoopsey daisy.” Jill giggled even more but quickly put her hand in front of her mouth. It took just a moment before they all joined into her giggle, even Alfie smirked a little bit.

“I’m sure your wife would love to lick you clean, and I sure would like to have a go to.” Alfie said in his usual sarcastic voice.

“Fi why you lick Daddy? You can not eat my daddy, Mummy does that.” Jill said finally with an empty mouth. “With chocolate sauce.”

“Jill!” Jo blushed deeply read.

“Oh chocolate, nice one Josephine. I bed Liam tastes amazing with chocolate.” Alfie licked his lips in anticipation.


I wonder how it feels to have his lips on my… HOLY SAINT PATRICK! Did I really just picture Alfie… Jo shook her head and tried not to look at Alfie or think about what his skilled hands could make her feel if he…

For the rest of the dinner Jo had all those weird feelings and thoughts about Alfie in ways she should not think about him, but his hands look so skilled the way he could make her feel. Oh dear, what is wrong with me?

Jo was actually glad when Alfie left, the girls were bathed and asleep and she and Liam were in bed as well.


Jo turned off the light and Liam leaned over and started kissing her. “Liam please don’t.” Jo whispered shy, she felt so confused.

“Shit! Did I do something wrong?” Liam nearly jumped out of bed. Ever since he had once hurt her so badly a couple of years ago he would never ever sleep with her again if he was not 100% sure she wanted too. Jo turned around and kissed him.

“No you have done nothing wrong and if you really want to we can have sex, it is just I feel kind of weird.” Jo whispered, she felt bad rejecting Liam.

“That is okay don’t worry.” Liam kissed Jo gentle. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, just tired.” Jo felt so weird she couldn’t get Alfie out of her head. “Can we just snuggle?”

“Sure. I’d love that. Hey when you are tired you go to sleep, I got to read this book one of my students found it and wants us to build it.” Liam whispered.

“Are you looking forward to reveal the big windmill at the Summer Festival?” Jo was already drifting off to sleep.

“Oh yes, we got the art class to paint it and we will test it in the next couple of days. If our calculations are right we should safe about a quarter on our electricity bill. And-“ Liam grinned when he saw that Jo was deep asleep. “You are so beautiful.” Liam grinned thinking how lucky he was to call this beauty in his arms his wife.

Something was up he knew that. He barely saw emotional interactions between people at least other people but he knew his Jo and the way she was acting weird but he also knew that Jo would talk to him in time. Liam had turned off the light and was asleep himself when he was woken roughly. Jo was tossing or at least as much tossing as she could still held in Liam’s arms.


Jo knew she was dreaming but it was odd. She was watching the happenings but at the same time felt what was going on. In this dream she was watching herself and… Alfie do things the two should not be doing. Alfie made her feel things she never felt with Liam. Jo loved having sex with Liam and she knew he really enjoyed her being bossy and taking charge, but what Jo likes is the adventure. The adventures they had in the beginning when she and Liam had sex in the pantry on their wedding day, or under the dining hall table. But Jo and Alfie did not do it somewhere where they might be seen they were fully dressed surrounded by people and no one could see what they were doing.

“NO!” Jo yelled and sat up suddenly heavily breathing.

“Jo, it is okay. You are safe.” Liam whispered calmly but was surprised when Jo flinched when he touched her arm. She never flinched away from her. “Jo?”

Jo took a deep breath. “I am so sorry Liam. I did not mean for this to happen. I swear.”

“Jo what is going on? What happened?” Liam looked now really concerned at his wife.


“I… I had a dream… about Alfie… he and I… Liam we had sex in my dream sort of… and Liam I am so sorry! I think I am sexually attracted to him. I mean oh god I had sex with Alfie in my dream. I am so sorry. It means nothing. I love you with all my heart. Just I don’t know I think Alfie is very… adventurous and I think intense in bed and I think I want this. I want adventure, I want the thrill of having sex on the pantry, I want days when you shag me like there is no tomorrow but sometimes you are so damn careful as if I am made out of a soap bubble and can pop any second.” Jo had incredible red cheeks, she was so embarrassed that she actually had a sex dream about Alfie and still could not stop thinking about his hands on her. She felt so dirty as if she and Alfie actually had sex, a thing she would never do it would hurt her husband and her best friend in too many ways. “I love have sex with you. I wish we could never stop. I never want to have sex with a different man. I don’t understand why I can’t stop thinking how it would feel if Alfie would finger me. I am so incredible sorry. I love you Liam. I love you!” Jo seemed so confused.

Liam didn’t react for a while, he had to digest the news first.
His wife had sex dreams about his best friend…
His wife actually dreamed about having sex with his best friend…
And that best friend wasn’t just anyone, no, it had to be Alfie, the biggest playboy, the greatest sex expert, the most experienced guy Jo could have possibly picked. So far he didn’t see Alfie as a particular threat because he always knew Alfie didn’t give a damn about Liam’s ‘girl-scout wifey’, as Alfie liked to call her, and Liam also thought Jo wasn’t really interested in Alfie because the older boy had been very rude to her in the past. Although he was no longer that rude to her he was still quite indifferent towards her, but apparently Jo was drawn to him- and Liam knew exactly why.
It certainly wasn’t Alfie’s charming character that attracted Jo. As far as Liam knew, Alfie had no such thing as a ‘charming’ character. But on the other hand Liam knew too well what Jo liked about Alfie. Every time Liam stood next to his best friend, he felt like a skinny little teenager, and although Liam was a lot more muscular than he had been when he first met Jo, he still wasn’t as muscular and strong and manly as Alfie, and Liam was pretty sure Alfie’s strong physique attracted Jo- as well as his enormous sex knowledge, and well, something else ‘enormous’, that Liam didn’t want to think about… And like Jo already said, she always liked the adventure and the thrill, and Alfie sure as hell was a master in giving those. Of course Liam liked doing it with Jo in the pantry or other funny places, but he was often nervous that someone could see them, especially his wife- God forbid someone saw his wife!!!- and he generally preferred having sex within their own four walls, where they were safe and he knew that nobody could watch them.

“Liam?”, Jo asked anxiously after her husband didn’t reply.

“I’m totally boring”, he mumbled.

“What?”

“I totally suck!” He looked up at his wife. “You must be bored to death with me. I know you’re not cheating on me just because you have those dreams about Alfie, but those dreams also make me realise that you must be mindlessly bored of the sex we have.”

Jo shook her head and reached for Liam’s hand. “No, not at all! Please believe me when I say that I love it when you sleep with me. I love the things we do together and I could never get bored of you, I swear, but-“

“I’m not Alfie.”

Jo shook her head again. “And that’s good, because I fell in love with you, Liam O’Doherty, not Alfred Jackson. Please don’t think I’m in love with Alfie, I could never love anyone else as much as I love you, but I…I guess I look at him similar like you used to look at Lorelai many years ago. You were never really in love with her, you just…ehm…you lusted after her. She gave off this admiring confidence, and especially this sexual confidence and of course you were physically attracted to her but in the end you fell in love with me.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I guess the thing with Alfie is similar in a way.” She started to blush, feeling deeply guilty about having these confusing emotions.

“You’re not in love with him?”

“No, of course not!”

“But you’re lusting after him.”

“That sounds…that sounds a little extreme”, Jo mumbled shyly.

“But that’s what it is, isn’t it? You’re physically attracted to him and you wonder how the sex with him would be.”

Jo bit her lip, looking very uncomfortable. “I’m so sorry, Liam, I love you so much, it’s nothing but a stupid and very, very silly attraction.”

“I get it.”

“What?” Jo looked surprised.

“Jo, I know you’re not really in love with him. I mean, there’s no way you could possibly fall in love with the guy who made you throw your typewriter against the wall…”

A quiet laugh escaped from her.

“But I understand that you are curious. I was like that when I was younger, before I met you, and you’re right, I was super attracted to Lor, but it was all a physical thing.” He fell silent for a while, seeming a bit absent but then he took a deep breath. “I just wonder…”

“Yes?”

Liam looked at Jo, almost a little too serious. “Maybe it would help you figure out what you like if I let you do it.”

“Let me do what?”

“Let you sleep with Alfie.”

Jo gasped, unable to say anything. Liam cleared his throat, seeming rather calm. “Maybe you’re confused at the moment and it would really help you and might even help our sex life. I’m not saying that our sex life is bad, but apparently we have a few hiccups since you like adventure and I like it…well, a bit less adventurous, and maybe sleeping with Alfie could clear things up a bit. It would just be for one time, though, I can’t handle the thought of you sleeping with him more than once…” He was quiet, giving Jo some time to process. “So…what do you think?”

“I don’t know Liam. I feel like I am cheating on you just thinking about.” Jo whispered when she snuggled back into his arms. “I am so confused.”

When the moment would be so serious Liam would have started laughing but it died in his throat, it did not even go as far as his throat. The thought that his wife, his soul mate, the girl he loves so much that he cannot tell her because he fears the moment he does he loses her is sexually attracted to another man and not someone like James who was a similar type no super manly and sex god Lord Alfred Jackson it makes him sick, physically sick.

“It’s okay, go back to sleep. We talk about this more tomorrow.” Liam whispered. He put his book aside and turned off the light. “Just sleep, my beautiful.”

So much was happening in Waterfall Downs Academy, the term was nearly over and the Summer Festival and with that the school break was approaching fast. In less than a month, all pupils would leave and Jo and Liam had Waterfall Downs to themselves again. This year Jo had organized that everyone who was interested in summer schooling will attend classes spread across the world. Pupils of Waterfall Downs Academy were in Europe, some in different school in the United Kingdom and other all the way to America and Canada. It was not an easy task to organize this exchange program, and she was rather proud of it. It would give the staff a well deserved rest during summer and Jo and Liam the house back to themselves since Waterfall Downs became a school. In addition, they had also another graduation and as their pupil flock grew so did the ceremony.
So it was not a surprised that Liam and Jo had no time to talk about Jo’s dream. Nevertheless, Jo could not forget what Liam had offered her. The problem was everything in her told her that it was wrong sex without love is meaningless.

“He did what?” Lorelai looked at Jo in shock.

“You heard what I confessed to you and you worry what Liam said? Lor I am… Oh dear God help me… lusting for another man.” Jo was miserable; she went earlier that afternoon to the stud farm with the girls. Even Jane liked to go to the horses; she enjoyed immensely brushing them. Dan took the girls, Edward and Henry into the stables so that his Mutti and Missis Jo could talk.

“Josey it is normal that you think about other man.”

“No! Not like this! I really want him, really bad! I get all tingly and… horny just thinking about Alfie.”

“Maybe you should just do it? Not that I think he has the right to give you permission but in a way I understand what he tried to do.”

“NO!” Jo jumped off the chair bumped over her tea and was so confused that she was shaking. “I want it to stop. Make it stop Lor.” The young woman started crying and looked so helpless and vulnerable. Lorelai rushed forward and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I think when you try to relax it will all work out.” Lorelai whispered.  Jo nodded. “I have to go home.”

“Talk to Liam, really talk to him. Tell him what you feel missing in your sex life and try to find compromises that he feels comfortable with and you get satisfied.”
“I will try.”
 

A little bit later, the twins were watching TV while Liam and Jo were in the kitchen. “Liam I have not forgotten what you said, I have been thinking about it a lot and it feels incredible wrong. I cannot do it, no matter how much I… lusting for him. I love you and I think sex without love means nothing.”

“Are you saying this so I think you never do it and don’t think about my best friend touching you?” Liam looked uneasy at Jo, it was not easy to do so.

“No I am serious. I can’t sleep with him. Not to mention that Alfie would never sleep with me and I could never ever do this to Ricky. Ricky is suffering enough that Alfie sleeps with everything that is not by three on a tree, possibly even the tree.” Jo looked tired and pale. “I can’t stop feeling dirty.”

“What, no you are not dirty you are sweet and innocent and wonderful.” Liam quickly stepped to Jo’s side.

“Liam I know you worry people could see us and I don’t say I only want to do it in public places. It’s just I want adventure. I mean we did it in the Vatican Museum and in the pantry on our wedding day. I feel like we left those people somewhere are now just the headmaster and -mistress of a school for the gifted and the parents of our children, but not the married couple Liam and Jo anymore.”

Liam opened his mouth but closed it again; he wasn’t sure what to say to that. Jo knew how he felt, she saw the problem but didn’t know how to fix it.

“Can you invent a thing that makes it stop?”

Liam was quiet for a while and then started chuckling.

“What is so funny?” Jo looked sceptical at her husband.

“Alfie came a few days ago and gave me one of their toys and ask if I can build a better one. He wanted a toy more like his penis so he pulled down his trousers and…” Jo bit her lip she didn’t want to think about Alfie’s penis and how it would feel. “…okay lets skip that anyway I have a new toy for them.”

“Can we try it?” Jo’s eyes started to shine, while Liam worried. “Actually hold that thought.” She jumped up and went in the living room. Both girls were watching a nature documentation. They had watched it before so Jo knew that it would be another thirty minutes before it was over and Jill would demand her bath while Jane desperately wanted to be clean but at the same time didn’t like the bath. Jo hurried back to Liam who was still standing at the kitchen table. “Take me here and now.” She had this hungry lioness less while she pulled at his belt and dropped on her knees. Since her dislike of blowjobs during the pregnancy much has changed as long as the oral part was well shared between the two she actually liked giving Liam a blowjob.

“Jo, the girls are just -Holy Saint Patrick- next door.” Yeah Jo knew how to use her mouth by now.
“So we got to be quick and quiet. Like a spy in and out without anyone seeing it. You should know how that works.” Jo was so excited now and she got her quickie on the kitchen table, just the way she liked them.



After the girls had their bath, got their stories, a song, a prayer and were asleep Jo and Liam continued on the couch what they started in the kitchen. In a moment of rest, Jo looked at Liam’s Little Lad as he called him. “You know what I wonder, what Ricky and Alfie do when they have sex. I mean Ricky tells me some but I wonder if they do… you know buggery.”

Liam couldn’t help but blush. He always acted very weird when it came to intimacy between men. Sometimes he almost acted like a homophobe, although he really wasn’t one but he sure acted like one and Jo had her moments when she thought he deliberately acted so weird because deep down he was…well, not gay, he was still very much into girls, but there could be a possibility that he liked both, which Liam was in strong denial, of course, and Jo didn’t really mention it to him, but well, it had crossed her mind before.

“I…ehm…don’t know”, Liam mumbled, staring at his hands like a shy school boy.

“You don’t know?” Jo raised an eyebrow. “I have a hard time believing that. After all, Alfie is your best buddy and he sure likes to brag about his sex life.”

“Okay, okay, he mentions stuff now and then. I mean, he doesn’t tell me how Ricky looks-“

“Good, because that wasn’t my question. I was just wondering if they do…ehm…you know?” She blushed slightly but her husband’s cheeks were still a few shades darker.

“Sure they do”, he said quickly. “I mean, what else do you expect of Alfie? He always wants to do the whole deal.”

The tingly feeling in Jo returned as her husband was talking about Alfie, so she swiftly climbed on top of him and started kissing him to distract herself from further thoughts about Alfie. Liam leaned back and enjoyed her kisses, though he could feel the desperation in them and he knew what he had to do. As soon as he was done with school tomorrow, he had to talk to Alfie before this whole thing would get out of hand…

While Jo had a meeting with a mother of one of the students in her literature class the next day, Liam left Waterfall Downs to pay his best friend a brief visit.

“Little Man!”, Alfie greeted him as he let him into the flat, immediately handing him a glass of scotch. “Did you miss me that much that you had to see me again although I came by last night?” He sat down on THE couch while Liam had to take a seat on another couch- Liam knew that nobody was allowed on Alfie’s holy, precious couch. Liam barely understood a word because loud opera music hallowed through the living room.

“Could you turn the music down a bit?”, he shouted.

“Does it bother you?”

“Well, it’s a little loud and I really have to talk to you!”

“Alright.” Alfie got up and put the old record back into its cover. “Don’t you like Madama Butterfly It’s Puccini!”

“I’m not that familiar with opera music, to be honest”, Liam admitted.

“It is one of the greatest works ever produced for the opera stage. I saw an original performance in London with my grandfather once, after that I wanted to go to the opera all the time, I practically begged him.”

“How old were you?”

“Five or six, something like that.”

Liam stared at his friend in surprise. “I have never heard of a six-year old who enjoyed the opera.”

Alfie shrugged his shoulders and sat back down on the couch. “Everyone has a different taste, I guess.”

That reminded Liam why he was here in the first place. He put away the glass of scotch- he really didn’t want to get drunk right now- and cleared his throat. “I really need to talk to you, it’s something serious.”

Alfie didn’t want to show it but he froze for a brief second, almost looking concerned. “Are you ill?”

Liam shook his head. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s not that serious.”

Alfie seemed relieved. “Did you commit a crime? Do you need a lawyer?”

“No.”

“Are you finally coming out? I always knew you were-“

“No!”

“Fine”, Alfie sighed. “Money problems?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m married to the Williams heir and have money problems.”

Alfie shrugged his shoulders again. “Maybe Josephine is a serious gambler and throws all her money out. Or she spent it all on girl-scout uniforms, who knows?”

“Haha, that is not funny.” Liam crossed his arms. “But it is about Jo.”

His friend rolled his eyes. “I can’t give you advice on women, I can’t even stand women in the first place, so don’t expect me to give a good advice.”

“She wants you.”

Silence.
Alfie just stared at Liam, not even blinking.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that…”

Liam took a deep breath. “Jo is having sex dreams about you and she admitted to me last night that she is physically attracted to you and likes the fact that you are so…intense in bed because she wants adventure and I don’t give her as much adventure as she would like to. I’m more the bedroom kind of guy and she basically likes to do it everywhere else except the bedroom because that bores her a little. She thinks you could do stuff to her that I never could, and that is probably right.”

There was still no reaction from Alfie, only the steady ticking of the insanely valuable antique clock was cutting through the silence.

“She already apologised to me countless times”, Liam continued. “And I know she feels bad about it but she is really attracted to you. Well, physically, she’s not in love with you but she has…she has those dreams about you and she seems to like those dreams a lot…”

A mischievous smirk crossed Alfie’s face. “Well, well, well…Josephine, that little horny bitch, trying to appear all goody-good but there’s a dirty little beast hiding under her nun’s outfit, hm? So she likes it rough?”

“Hey, watch your language! That’s still my wife you’re talking about”, Liam said warningly.

“Do I satisfy her in her dreams?”

“Alfie, that’s not funny!”

“Does she get wet dreams from me?”

“Seriously, man, you’re not helping!”

The urgency in Liam’s voice finally made him stop teasing. He leaned back in his couch and scrutinised Liam with raised eyebrows. “How do you expect me to help? Do you want me to tell her to stop imaging me shagging her? Sorry, man, but I can’t control her dreams and I’m certainly not going to get fat and unattractive so that your wifey stops wanting me to give her a good shag.”

Liam bit his lip, he felt enormous jealousy spreading through his body when he thought of the idea that Jo was lusting after his best friend. He even felt like punching Alfie, but that would be pointless because Alfie didn’t force Jo to have these dreams and feelings for him, this time it really wasn’t his fault.
“I want to know what I can do better, so that Jo wants me the way she wants you.”

“I thought you two are so perfect and loved-up, like sunshine twins on rainbow hill.”

“Well, nobody is perfect and yes, we love each other very much but she expects me to do stuff I simply can’t do to her…”

Alfie looked a lot more interested now. “What does she want you to do?”

Liam scratched his cheek uncomfortably. “She wants me to…she wants me to shag her, like, really… I don’t like to be rough with her, I like to be gentle, she looks so fragile and I don’t want to hurt her. I would much rather make love to her than just shag her.”

Alfie didn’t show any reaction at first but then he laughed, which annoyed Liam.
“What’s so funny now?”, Liam asked.

“God, I never realised that before!”

“Never realised what?”

“You are basically Ricky in your relationship while that little wifey of yours is…well…more like me, I guess.”

“I’m not like Ricky”, Liam protested.

“I’m not saying you two are identical, but you are definitely more like him when it comes to sex, while Josephine seems to like the stuff I like.”

Liam was quiet for a moment, thinking of what Alfie said. Alfie actually wasn’t that wrong… Liam was always very considerate of Jo and liked to be very gentle with her, he liked to make love to her while Jo was craving for something more intense. Was Jo actually the Alfie in their relationship or at least when it came to their sex life? What a weird thought!

“Well, Little Man, if you want to satisfy your little horny wife and make her crave you instead of me, just give her what she wants”, Alfie said very matter-of-factly. “If she wants you to be rough with her, be rough, if she wants you to really shag her, then shag her like she wants you to.”

“I…I can’t do that.”

“Did she ask you for that?”

“Sort of, yes. Well, she admitted that that’s what she wants sometimes. Not all the time but very often, yes,”

“Well, then you know what you have to do. Stop hesitating or she will keep having sex dreams about other men because you refuse to give her what she wants.”

“But I…I like to touch her gently and-“

“God, Liam, are you a 90-year old fart or what? No wonder she gets bored and is having sex dreams about me. If you really want to keep your sex life interesting and if you really want to have her attention, give her what she wants, even if you’re not sure about it. Your wifey is obviously bored as hell of being always touched gently, so stop this bullshit and just give it to her. After all, that’s what she wants, isn’t it?”

“I…I guess.”

“You probably need practice”, Alfie remarked blankly.

“I told you I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“I didn’t say anything about me, though I do know exactly why you don’t want to sleep with me.” The older boy grinned. “You would like it too much and then you would have to admit that you like doing it with guys as well.”

“I would not like it, and I’m not…oh, whatever!” Liam shook his head.

“Well, I know a certain Russian whore who you could practice on. She would show you how a real shag works.”

“No, thank you, but I don’t want to sleep with Sofiya either”, Liam replied dryly. “I just want to be with my wife and I want her to be physically attracted to me and no one else.”

“Well…” Alfie poured himself another glass of scotch. “You know what you have to do, so it’s up to you now.”

Jo didn’t like doing this but she had to, she did not intend to sleep with Alfie but she wanted to talk to him. She had made sure that Ricky was out of the house and Liam was with his class -doing the last bits for their Summer Festival project-.

“My, my Josephine what did that husband of yours tell me about you? You are a dirty whore.” Alfie grinned at Jo, luckily he was dressed. Jo blushed deeply but followed him into the living room.
She was standing shy and ashamed in the doorframe. “I…” Suddenly Jo felt bad for being here without Liam knowing.

“I should go, this is wrong.”

Alfie looked at her. “So what did you expect when you came here today?” It was odd how calm he was. “Do you want to have a drink?”

Jo shook her head but she did sit down. “I am not sure why I came here. Liam told you about my dreams and… Do you have to sit so close?” Alfie had sat on purse right next to her, not even an inch apart.

“That is interesting. You are breathing all funny, your eyes are glaze and I can physically see you’re your thoughts. You want to rip off my clothes and ride me right here.” Alfie chuckled when he got up and poured himself another glass of fine whiskey and Jo a glass of water.

“Liam said he allows me to sleep with you, though just once.”

“He allows you.” Alfie laughed.

“Well he meant he can handle it once.” Jo whispered.

“Interesting if that is you wild that means Liam is like a dead fish in bed.”

Jo shook her. “I don’t know why I came here today. I don’t think I came for that.”

Alfie wasn’t looking at her, he couldn’t instead he looked out of the window. “Look I know what you think you need from me but I actually have to say no. I cannot shag you they way you want to get shagged. Liam cares too much about you, well I have two friends in my life I want around, and I will not push one away. And not to mention Ricky, it would break his heart.”

“I know.” Jo looked at her knees. “I feel dirty, why can I not stop thinking about you like that?”

“Because your husband actually respects you too much.” Alfie turned around and looked at Jo. He had seen people looking and feeling like here. Men that had sex with another man, they felt guilty and in a way sick. “Fine I help you, but keep your hands to yourself and no moaning.”

Alfie went in Ricky’s study and got some paper and a pencil. “Here I want you to draw a female body and then mark where you like Liam to do what and I will tell you how he should really do this. And while you do your drawing I do some drawing too.” Alfie grinned and they both went to work. “Though I have to admit I see where Liam is coming from. Ricky once got some leather toys including a whip, he asked me to spank him very hard. I could barely stroke him with it.”

“My, Alfie are you telling me that you love Ricky.” Jo teased Alfie a little bit.

“Shut up and draw.” Alfie growled and went to work.

The two talked a long time when Jo left the flat she felt exhausted and so aroused she felt like her moister was running down her legs and she was jeans.


“Hello Graham, how about a weekend with your granddaughters?” Jo was calling from their flat.

“Sure, is everything okay?” Graham was just writing the weekly shopping list, and now when the twins came to stay with him, Ellen and Gracie he would have to add some things.

“Yes, it’s just me and Liam well we were so busy in the last weeks we needs some alone time.” Jo went in the nurseries and got out things the girls would need.

“Of course, that is a good reason. Ellen has the car so she can take them and Gracie home with her.” Graham grinned, the same sheepish grin Liam had when he finds out what Jo was planning.

“Perfect. We pick up the girls on Sunday.”

“Don’t do that, Ellen will bring them in on Monday.”

“Oh that would be amazing.” Jo grinned now too. “Perfect that you very much Graham.”

Jo heard the front door open and Liam followed the phone line and poked his head in Jane’s nursery. He was so scared to see her all satisfied because in the end she did sleep with Alfie, Liam had on purpose not told him that he told Jo he would forgive her one time.

“Oh hey Handsome. Listen Graham I am grateful that the girls get a weekend with their daideo. Liam and I will be in Brighton at the cottage but if you need us we will come back right away.”

“Have a wonderful weekend.”

Jo hung up the phone and turned to Liam. “I have not slept with Alfie nor will I ever. Though my dear husband Ricky… I mean Liam,” Jo winked at him signalling him she heard Alfie’s theory that he is Ricky in their sex life, “you would blush when you hear about what we talked. That is all what we did talk. I promise.”

Liam looked at Jo and he knew her so gorgeous doe eyes to well he knew she was not lying. “So you… talked. About?”

Jo giggled like a teenager. “Sex silly. You and I are going on our second honeymoon to Brighton and if you remember what we did in our first honeymoon you know what we will do in Brighton with this.”
Liam looked a little worried at the stack of papers Jo was holding. “And this is?”

“Oh this is information of what I want and I didn’t even know it is.” Jo grinned “Come on we got to pack.”

Not even an hour later Jo and Liam were on the road while Ellen was taking the twins and Teddy home with her and Gracie. Graham had no idea what he had signed up for, but he will love every minute of it. Jo was driving and even for her she was driving fast.

“Jo please don’t kill us.”

“I won’t.” Jo grinned. “Go on look at the drawings.”

Liam did and he blushed deep red, but to his surprise on none of them, Jo asked him to actually hurt her. It was a lot of sex in various public places, including this car ride -something Jo would start in about five minutes at the next parking spot-, and several interesting positions but nothing that would hurt Jo. He was glad no spanking, no actual pain.

“You and Alfie made up this plan?” Liam looked at his knees.

“Yeah… and… after a few minutes of picturing him my picture changed… I pictured us. Don’t get me wrong I still think Alfie is handsome and I am sure amazing in bed, but it is not for me to experience that. And I think if he and I would have ever ended up in bed it would have ended in bloodshed. And the thought of being like Sofiya makes me nervous.”

Liam laughed, but it turned into a nervous cough when Jo undid his trousers while she was driving. “Should you not watch the road?” Liam mumbled though his Little Lad didn’t think so.

“Really. Check the list again on the third page number seventeen.”

Liam blushed deeply. “What if…”

Jo stopped the car and looked at Liam. “Okay, we compromise instead of me riding you. You are on top so people can’t see me. Is that okay?”

Liam didn’t answer.

“Liam please, just… I understand that you worry about me or more that someone sees me but… I’m with you and I want to be with you. I don’t think I really want to be with Alfie, I want some adventure. I never wanted you to hurt me or do anything weird.” Jo looked away. “No I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t like that but I do like being with you not just hidden away in our bed. When we only do it in our bedroom I feel like my mother was right and it is something dirty.”

“It is not! Jo you know that.”

“So why do you try to make it?”

Liam took a deep breath. “So you want to do it here in the car next to the road?”

“We did it before in the car.” Jo grinned seductively.

Liam pushed the seat far back, pulled Jo on his lap and kissed her. “Okay, but I want to be on top so people can’t see you.”

Jo giggled. “Can we pretend you just picked me up off the road or something, call me…”

“Ethel.” Liam grinned and pushed her into the seat to his surprise Jo was not wearing any knickers or bra under her t-shirt. “Why would a pretty girl like you Ethel not wear any underwear?”

“I’m too poor. Maybe you can by me some, something you like.” Jo murmured in a quite bad Irish accent. “You know as a fellow Irish man.”

This weekend was a very long and active weekend. Jo and Liam had so much sex but also talked a lot about things they liked to do and how they can compromise so they both are satisfied.
It was Sunday early afternoon; Jo and Liam were lying naked in front the fire. Jo’s head was resting on Liam’s stomach, she was playing with his Little Lad while he was teasingly petting her boobs.

“This was nice.” Jo whispered hoarsely, she had been quite loud the past days. Liam chuckled “It sure was, I wish we had another weekend to rest after all this exercise. So you still wanna sleep with Alfie?”

“Yepp, in my next life. Just like you will never forgot sleeping with Lorelai.” Jo turned around and looked at her husband. “We are human Liam and to make this marriage work we both have to want every single day. I want us to life and love together and I think to do that we need to be honest. I agree it is weird to talk about sex but when we don’t we end up getting stuck and unhappy and I want you to be happy more than anything so you need to tell me when I ask you to do something you don’t want to do. And I had an idea, I know we did it before but how about when one of us is attracted to someone else the other one pretend to be a whole new person. I know we roleplay make me the naughty school girl but we can use it more. But most importantly I think we need to make sure we get this?”

“What sex in front of the fireplace?” Liam grinned at his so beautiful wife.


“No.” Jo laughed. “Alone time. I love the girls but you and I know that we became very early parents we barely were married. Maybe we should go like very second month for a weekend away, the girls love staying at your dad’s or they can go to Scotty’s or one of the other good friends houses we have. We are so young Liam I worry we become too early to old married couple that has nothing to say to each other and the passion is dried up. Promise me Liam.”

Liam didn’t need a second to think. „Of course I promise. I would never want us to be bored with each other and bored with our lives. There are so many couples who are only in their early 40s and they are already tired of each other. I never want us to be like that.”

Jo nodded, leaning her head gently against his shoulder. “Exactly. Just because we became parents so young and have two girls now doesn’t mean that we have to act like we are an old, married couple.”

“I like the idea of having a few weekends to ourselves in the future”, Liam mumbled while kissing Jo on top of her head. “And luckily we have so many friends who are gladly willing to take the girls.”

Jo nodded. “Yes, we really are lucky. Lucky to have so many friends, lucky to have two beautiful daughters, and lucky to have each other.”

Her husband smirked. “I couldn’t agree more.”


The next day, while Liam and Jo had a good night of just talking and cuddling and forgetting about the fact that Jo was lusting after another man, her father Colin knocked on the door of the charming little house of one of his oldest friends, who was still quite sleepy when he opened the door. Colin had to laugh when he saw Scotty, it was funny that after all these years Scotty was still not a morning person.

“Hello, jolly old chap!”, Colin greeted him with a teasing pat on the back. “Looking all fine this morning!”

“Oh, shut up.” Scotty let Colin in, and Colin easily filled the living room with his height. He was even huge while he was sitting on Scotty’s couch but Scotty remembered very well how Colin looked when they first met; this awkward skinny boy who was a lot smaller than him because he was only eleven years old and his voice was similar to Mickey Mouse. Well, there wasn’t much left of the boy Colin Williams once used to be, at least not in appearance, but he was still a bookworm and a science geek, after all. Some things simply never changed.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?”, Colin asked, grinning widely at his friend.

“No, I was already awake”, Scotty said. “Barely…”, he then added and went into the kitchen to make some tea.

“You know, you and my daughter would get along just fine. She is not a morning person at all, you can’t believe how grumpy she can be in the mornings”, Colin said as Scotty returned with the tea.

“Really? I can’t picture Jo grumpy at all, she’s always so friendly and nice and polite.”

“That’s because you haven’t seen her at six o’clock in the morning yet.”

“Oh, I get where she’s coming from”, Scotty chuckled.

Colin noticed a book on the couch table and picked it up. “Oh, good choice”, he said. “Thomas Hardy sure knows how to write tragic stories, doesn’t he?”

“I haven’t read it yet”, Scotty said. “Ricky gave it to me, telling me that I absolutely had to read it.”

“Oh yes, the Literature Professor.” A smile crossed Colin’s face.

“And a few days ago Ricky showed me this really nice tea room, I haven’t been to a tea room in ages, it was really nice that he took me along.”

“Did he?” Colin looked up from the book.

“That boy has taste. We went to the museum the other day, it was some sort of a national history museum, it was really interesting.”

Colin had raised both his eyebrows by now, which Scotty noticed, of course. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just…you two spend quite a lot of time together, don’t you?”

“Why does it sound so wrong when you say that? It almost sounds like a crime.”

Colin shook his head. “I don’t mean it like that, it’s just something I observed.”

“Well, Ricky is the one who always invites me, I think he thinks I’m lonely and need company or something.” Scotty chuckled quietly. “He’s such a good boy.”

“He certainly is…”

Scotty eyed his friend sceptically. “That sounded weird, too. What is it that you’re thinking? The truth, please.”

“The truth? Well, you two are doing a lot together, right? I mean, just the two of you.”

“Whoa, wait a minute! Do you…do you think we’re having something going on or what?”

Colin shook his head. “No, that’s not it. I actually think Ricky has a little crush on you.”

“What?” Scotty laughed, though it sounded a bit nervous. “Come on, Colin, don’t be ridiculous! I mean…I’m old! He could be my grandson. He looks barely fifteen and I’m…well…not the youngest anymore.”

“Well, you are older than him but you are still insanely good-looking for your age…”

“Are you hitting on me?”, Scotty asked teasingly.

Colin chuckled. “Well, we did kiss a long time ago…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, back to the actual point. You are very attractive for your age, and very fit, and very charismatic and charming, and I mean I can’t really blame that boy, it’s fun to be around you, it has always been fun and I’m sure that he really likes your company. Though I do know that his relationship with Alfie is a serious one and Ricky is the most faithful person there is, so I’m assuming that he just has a very harmless little crush on you.”

Scotty shook his head. “That is ridiculous.”

“I have always been quite perceptive, as you know…”

“Come on, Colin. I’m still way too old for him.”

“That’s why I said it’s just a harmless crush, not serious at all. And there’s something else I think…”

Scotty crossed his arms. “Oh dear, do I even want to know?”

“I think you care about him”, Colin replied calmly but directly.

“Hm?”

“I think you care a lot about Ricky, actually.”

“Of course I like him, he’s a nice boy, he-“

Colin shook his head. “That’s not what I mean.” He paused for a moment. “Yes, Ricky is usually the one coming towards you with invitations but I think you just can’t stay away from him because being with him reminds you of someone else, doesn’t it?”

Scotty didn’t say anything, he didn’t even manage to make a sarcastic remark because his friend hit the mark perfectly. Colin smiled gently at Scotty, not wanting him to think that it was something to feel embarrassed about.
“Am I right?”, he asked quietly.

Scotty still remained silent for a bit until he finally cleared his throat, nodding slightly. “He’s so much like him, it’s just…it’s crazy. I mean, Ricky isn’t even in the slightest related to Arthur, they don’t look the same, they come from completely different backgrounds, but…but the way he talks, the way he acts, whatever Ricky does, it’s like I’m watching Arthur all over again, just in a different body. But his soul…as if Arthur’s soul is inside Ricky’s body… I know that’s insane and not possible but…but that’s how I feel when I’m around Ricky.”

Colin nodded, completely understanding what Scotty was talking about. “That’s what I thought when my daughter first introduced me to this shy, lovely young man, the first real friend she had ever made.”

“There’s something you mentioned that won’t leave my mind”, Scotty said quietly. “You said that if Arthur would have died before Ricky was born, you would believe that his soul was reborn with Ricky. I mean, that’s not possible since Ricky was already born and it is just generally a crazy thought but that doesn’t change the fact that I see so much of Arthur in Ricky. Ricky is definitely more emotional than Arthur ever was, I can see that, but the whole personality in general…I mean, you noticed that too, right? It’s not just me and my crazy head?”

Colin shook his head, smiling. “Oh no, it’s not just you. Like I said, I noticed it too. They have the same kind of very unique, pure heart that one doesn’t come by very often.”

Scotty nodded, seeming a bit absent. “So I guess it’s better if I wouldn’t spend so much time with Ricky. It’s selfish of me, not being able to stay away from him because he reminds me too much of Arthur. I shouldn’t bother him, he’s a young man who has his own life and I shouldn’t interfere with that.”

“But he’s the one who invites you all the time, so it’s not like you’re stalking him or anything like that.”

“That’s true, he usually is the one who calls me or who stops by.”

“Oh, you are in quite some dangerous territory, my friend”, Colin chuckled.

“Why?”

“Did you forget who Ricky’s boyfriend is?”

“Well, yeah, I know but-“

“You do not want ‘Little Alfie’ as your enemy. Alfie certainly isn’t that little anymore… I mean, you saw him! I would not want to mess with him.”

“Great, he already hates me anyway, now he’s going to hate me even more because he will think that I’m interested in his boyfriend.” Scotty took a deep breath.

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Oh, come on, Colin, he looks at me as if I’m responsible for Arthur’s death.”

Colin shook his head. “No, he looks at you so coldly because he remembered that once a time ago, when he had lost the most important person in his life and was heartbroken and alone, you, the only link to his grandfather, left without a word. You never realised that Alfie needed you, Scotty”, he explained calmly. “I know you couldn’t have ‘saved’ him from his family, you didn’t have the power to do that, but he needed you because you were the only link left to Arthur, he knew you well, you and Arthur had taken him so many times on holidays, you spent a lot of times alone with Alfie, taking him to horse races, going to museums with him… I know he was just little but he remembered these things really well, and then his beloved grandfather dies, he loses the one person he loves, and instead of you two dealing with it together, taking care of each other, you went away.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make it sound like I’m blaming you, I blame myself just as much that I didn’t really look after Alfie like Arthur wanted me to, but I think this boy had a special attachment to you, you just never realised it. And that is why he is so distant towards you nowadays when he sees you.”

“I never thought he was attached to me at all.”

“Oh, he was. Alfie was never a child who showed his affection by hugging or kissing, he showed it differently, and I could see how attached he had gotten to you, even though it sometimes looked like all he cared about was his grandfather.”

“God, I had no idea…”

Colin shrugged his shoulders. “Like I said, you should trust my perception, it works really well.”

“It sure does!”

“But anyway, you just make sure Alfie doesn’t get too jealous over your friendship with Ricky, you don’t want him as an enemy.”

Scotty sighed quietly. “I think it’s already too late for that…”

Colin looked at Scotty for a while before he shook his head. “How did you survive without me? Don’t answer that in too much detail. But really.” Colin chuckled just as he used when he was eleven. He took a deep breath and then he started. “As much as he denies it, Alfie hates th' upper class he enjoys th' freedom his bunsens gi'es heem but he hud nae friends until he mit yoong Liam an' 'en Ricky, which baith come huir uv a much frae th' lower class. Liam was mebbe a wee ay yer class but Ricky was jist a pinch awa' bein' a body ay th' wracked orphans Arthur saved. his faither is huir uv a prood but 'at stoaner wark since he was a yoong loon broke his body but at th' sam time, he hud trysted his guidwife tae tak' caur ay 'er. Ah ne'er tauld Jo 'at but Ah ken Emily butcher, she worked was in a while at waterfaa downs helpin' wi' th' laundry. Ah min' we hud tae pay 'er in cash sae 'er guidman woods nae notice. Ah don’t want ye tae feel sorry fur Ricky but Ah try tae shaw ye 'at Alfie is a sweit loon. he is tay smart fur his ain guid an' he aye was a trait he has in common wi' Jo, but he is a huir uv a carin' loon. Ah ne'er saw a cheil carin' sae much fur his fowk an' by 'at, Ah dinnae pure techt his biological fowk. he chose his fowk an' 'at fowk he protects tae his death. Ah hink ye ur th' only a body fa can gab wi' heem abit Arthur; he is waitin' tae dae 'at.”¹

Colin sighed, he was a happy geeky young lad and he grew up into a happy man but it was not always easy. A small smile was playing on Scotty’s lips, Colin always fell back into his Scottish accent when he was alone with him.

“Are you alright Colin?” Scotty asked sounding concerned.

“It is Elizabeth. She has her good and bad times and this weekend was one of her bad times again. She has schizophrenia. On Thursday, she thought the devil is following her again. When she found out that the twins are spending at Liam’s father’s cottage -Liam’s father is living with a woman together but they are not married and Ellen has a disabled daughter so in Elizabeth’s eyes just one big house of sin- it all was just too much for her. His was her sixth attempt to take her live. She is hospitalised now, I don’t know if I can or should tell Jo.”

“Shit Colin! Anything I can do?” Scotty jumped up and started pacing.

Colin smiled weakly. “No this is all I need, a friend to talk to.”

Scotty nodded. “Six times that is rough.”

“Yeah. I’m just glad Jo just knows about one and she does not even know that it was a suicide attempt. She was just twelve and still thinks Elizabeth fell ill. I cannot bring it over my heart to tell my Angel that her mother does not want to live.”

“Understandable, though Jo is a very strong young woman.” Scotty suggested the two men had moved into the kitchen to make some toast and more tea. Since Colin was alone at home and Scotty had not too much to do that day the two spend the day together and decided spontaneously to go out fishing, just like in the old days.


 
Meanwhile not too far away at Waterfall Downs

It was not a school day; it was Mother’s Day. Since the weekend that the girls have spent at their Daideo’s house with Auntie Ellen and Gracie they had been with Liam in his office in the flat a lot they made a big sign ‘Mummy! You are lovely but keep out! Important’ well Jo now knew the sign said that everything was misspelled except ‘Mummy’. Still Jo was impressed that after Liam told her what the sign was meant to say she saw it, sort of. Jill’s letters were quite nicely written. However, it was Sunday and Jo was dying to find out what her girls have planned for her. Jo turned around and wanted to cuddle with Liam a little, but… he wasn’t there. Jo lifted her head and saw on his alarm clock that is was not even seven yet.

“Liam, S’nd’y. Really?” Jo sighed deeply and try t hear if they were in the kitchen but it was all quiet. Jo waited a little bit longer before she crawled out of bed, wrapped herself in the thin blanket and waddled with messy her and still very much asleep through the flat.

No one in the kitchen. No one in the living room. No one in the nurseries. No one in her office. That just left the last room, the room with the sign on it. Jo knocked very shy at the door.

“Beautiful, you are up early.” Liam grinned happily and kissed her.

“’lo.” Jo rubbed her eyes. “Wha’ goin’ ‘n.”

Liam chuckled he loved his wife so much, and in the morning Jo who was so articulate sounded worse than him.

“Well it is Mother’s Day and I helped the girls to make you a present.”

“Is that Mummy?” Jill shouted from behind Liam surprisingly awake, but knowing Jill Jo was quite sure her daughter barely slept in the first place.

“Yes it is. Are you ready to show her?” Liam turned around. Both girls were dressed and nodded. “Okay, Jo you wanna have a coffee first?”

Jo shook her head, leaned forward and kissed Liam. A smile appeared on Liam’s face. He pulled her in a hug, brushed her hair out of her face and kissed. “Ready.”

“SURPIRSE!” The twins screamed when Liam opened the door and Jo saw the huge collage of pictures, drawings and other little things showing Jo as mum since 3 years. Liam made sure that several photographs of the time that Jo wasn’t well. “Do you LIKE it Mummy?” Jill was still very loud.

Jo needed a few minutes until she was able to form words. “Did you do all this?”

Both girls nodded and looked expecting at their mum. “It is for your office. So you don’t forget us when you work.”

“That is a wonderful idea. I love it.” Jo was a little more awake and hugged both girls tightly. It was a very large board and Jo looked worried at Liam who smiled and nodded. He knew that Jo was asking him if he had helped them and he had. Of course both parents were encouraging the girls to learn new tasks and always try first to figure out a way to solve their problem but that didn’t mean Jo or Liam would leave their daughters unsupervised during difficult tasks. “So what happened to my annual breakfast in bed?”

Two little girls shrieked and jumped out of their mum’s embrace and ran in the kitchen to start breakfast. “Daddy? Does Mummy want coffee or tea?” Jill shouted loudly. It made Jo giggle. Liam took her hand and helped her up. “Do you like it?”

“I love it.” Jo looked at the photos of the moments she couldn’t remember. “Thank you.”

---

¹"As much as he denies it, Alfie hates the upper class he enjoys the freedom his money gives him but he had no friends until he met young Liam and then Ricky, which both come very much from the lower class. Liam was maybe a little of your class but Ricky was just a pinch away being one of the wracked orphans Arthur saved. His father is very proud but that hard work since he was a young boy broke his body but at the same time, he had promised his wife to take care of her. I never told Jo that but I know Emily Butcher, she worked was in a while at Waterfall Downs helping with the laundry. I remember we had to pay her in cash so her husband would not notice. I don’t want you to feel sorry for Ricky but I try to show you that Alfie is a sweet boy. He is too smart for his own good and he always was a trait he has in common with Jo, but he is a very caring boy. I never saw a man caring so much for his family and by that, I do not mean his biological family. He chose his family and that family he protects to his death. I think you are the only one who can talk with him about Arthur; he is waiting to do that."

It was the first sunny day after it had rained a whole week through. Scotty and Colin had spent most of these past rainy days together, chatting about every little thing and catching up with all the years they had missed together. There was still so much to talk about and sometimes they didn’t even notice that they had talked through an entire day. They often came back to the subject of Colin’s parents, Lady Jo and Lord Ben, who had helped Scotty immensely with his education. Lord Ben had become his benefactor and helped him out with so much and Lady Jo had just been as supportive as her husband. Scotty owed so much to them and he felt incredibly bad that in his grief after Arthur passed away, he had just left the country without even saying goodbye to them. Lord Ben and Lady Jo both passed away during the following years while Scotty was gone, so in a way he could never really say goodbye at all.
On this warm, sunny spring day Scotty went to the cemetery to look for their graves, which were placed in the family’s mausoleum. It was strange for him to step inside the mausoleum and to really realise that this was the place two of the greatest people he ever met were now resting.
He didn’t know how to start at first, he just read their names on the neat stones as if he had to remind himself that this was actually the final resting place of Lord and Lady Williams. Even though Scotty always thought that mausoleums had something creepy about them, the Williams family mausoleum was once again an exception. It was a lot lighter than the other mausoleums, with more spaces where the sun could break through.

Scotty took a deep breath. He suddenly felt like he was a little boy who had been in trouble and now had to stand up to his parents. “I’m a little late, I guess.” Of course he knew that he wouldn’t get a reply but that didn’t matter to him, it felt good to just talk openly. Besides, he was never bad in that department, he always spoke his mind.
“I’m very, very sorry”, he continued. “As you probably figured, I was not really in a good place but it was still a bit selfish of me to just leave without a word. It was unfair to Colin, who could have needed me, it was very unfair to Alfie, which I didn’t realise until shortly, because he needed me too all those years ago, and it was also unfair to both of you, after you took so much care of me and helped me more out than anyone could have ever done. I know I thanked both of you a thousand times for all the things you did for me but I feel that I acted very ungrateful when I just left and I’m incredibly sorry for that.” He paused for a moment, almost as if he was waiting for a reply but sadly he knew there would be none, no matter how long he waited. “Lady Jo, you were the most amazing woman I have ever met. I mean, really! You were so much better than all of these high class snobs, and man, I was really impressed for the way you spoke your mind and showed those bitch—ehm, those snobby women how silly they are with their narrow minds. You were just absolutely brilliant and I really looked up to you. You were an inspiring woman and had such a great influence on so many people…” A smile crossed Scotty’s face when he remembered Lady Jo with her wild locks, which she deliberately wore open to provoke the other ladies. His eyes wandered to Lord Ben’s stone now and Scotty needed a moment to gather a few words. He had so much to say to Lord Ben and yet he felt like whatever he said, it would not even come close to the actual gratitude he had towards him.
“You terrified the hell out of me”, he said, quietly chuckling. “Seriously, you were this tall, extremely authoritarian guy and during the time I looked after Colin in Waterfall Downs, I was really scared that I would mess up and then you would shoot me with a rifle or something.” He fell silent for a bit, remembering the first time he met Lord Ben and how strict and authoritative he seemed but once Scotty got to know him he could tell that Lord Ben was a loving family man who cared deeply for the people that mattered to him. “And even though you scared me in the beginning, later you were…you became the father figure I never really had. I mean, yes, I had a father but we never had a special bond or anything. I knew that he cared more about my younger sisters than me but you always showed me that you cared and most importantly, you accepted who I was. I never felt judged by you, and that really meant something, especially considering the fact that I wasn’t the typical boy who would get married and have children in the future. You could have seen me as a bad role model for your own son but you never gave me the feeling that you judged me. You and Lady Jo trusted me to be around Colin and you had faith in my abilities to succeed in university, which I really needed. Honestly, when I started university I was quite insecure because I thought I didn’t belong there, that I wasn’t part of that world but you always had great trust in me and gave me the feeling that I belonged there just as much as the other students. That really meant the world to me…” Scotty cleared his throat. “I’m really sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you, you two didn’t deserve that. I also don’t really think I should say goodbye now because it feels so final and I want to come back and visit you again, so for now I just wanted to make sure that I had the chance to apologise for having left all of you without a word. You two were wonderful people and I wish I could have said that more often when I had the chance.” He smiled and added a quiet ‘see you another time’, then he turned away and left the Williams mausoleum. He didn’t leave the cemetery yet since he was close to the Jackson mausoleum as well so he would visit, which he did at least three times a week. Arthur’s grave completely stood out because it was always showered with flowers, small gifts and cards, even after all this time people still kept visiting him and put something on the grave.
Although the official tomb stone was inside the big, dark Jackson mausoleum, everybody who was close to Arthur and cared about him knew that his ‘actual grave’ was just outside the mausoleum, where a white marble dove figure, the sign of hope, was placed. A wide ocean of flowers and gifts was spread around the dove and gave a very extreme contrast to the massive and dark mausoleum of the Jacksons.
Scotty just walked around the corner when he saw a woman standing in front of Arthur’s actual grave, putting some forget-me-nots next to the dove. Apparently this woman knew that they used to be Arthur’s favourite flowers. Scotty got curious and wanted to know who this person was, he only saw her from the back. Her hair seemed to be of a light brown colour with grey streaks in it, held together in a long braid, and her clothes were quite simple, at least from what Scotty saw from the distance, so it couldn’t be one of the upper class. Scotty stood next to a tree, observing her quietly for a bit but then the woman turned around, so quickly that he didn’t have time to hide, and their eyes met. There was something awfully familiar about her. She was a bit younger than him, around sixty, and had incredibly kind eyes. Scotty swore he knew her from somewhere but he just couldn’t put a finger on it. A warm smile appeared on the woman’s face.

“Is that you, Scotty?”

Scotty looked surprised at her. He might not immediately recognise her but she sure seemed to know him quite well.
“I…eh…yes.”

“You haven’t changed a bit”, she said, smiling. “And you still have all those freckles. I always thought they were lovely.”

“Ehm…thanks…” He felt stupid that she seemed to know him so well while he could not put a name to that face, although she did look incredibly familiar. He kept looking into her eyes, those eyes were so familiar but where did he see them before? Where did—
“Marge?” , he asked surprised when he suddenly realised who she was.

The woman in front of him nodded with a smile. “You remember me?”

“Of course I do! It’s just…it’s been such a long time I last saw you.”

“That’s understandable.” She still had a working-class accent, just as Scotty, but she spoke a lot better than she used to when she was younger.

“Do you still work in the sanctuary for abused girls and women? Last time I checked, you ran the sanctuary but that’s a while ago, so-“

“Oh yes, I’m still head of the sanctuary and I’m not even close to retiring yet. I could work there for another decade or two, if they would let me…” She winked at him. “It is such a lovely house, you should see it one day. It has grown so much since Arthur established it all those years ago. There are at least ten wonderful women working with me together, so all our girls are well taken care of, and it really feels like a big family.”

Scotty smiled. “That sounds nice, I would love to see it one day. And it is great to see you, too.”

“I can only say the same”, she said friendly.

“Do you have any plans this afternoon? I actually wanted to visit Colin now, maybe you want to tag along?”

“Colin?” Her smile grew wider. “I would love that! It has been quite a while since I last saw him.”

“I figured you would like to come along”, he said, then he turned towards Arthur’s grave and he fell silent.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”, Marge asked, lowering her voice a little.

Scotty nodded, his eyes wandering over the flowers and the cards that were written by people whose lives had been affected and changed for the better by Arthur. It gave Scotty some sense of peace to see how many people still cared.

``Why can’t I come with you?“ Ricky looked at Alfie with that kicked-baby-penguin face that got Alfie every damn time.

“Because you’re not going to have fun”, Alfie replied dryly while lightening a cigar. “That’s why.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know you.”

Ricky bit his lip and sat down on the couch, having a cup of camomile tea. “I don’t mind going to pubs.”

“Pubs? We won’t go to pubs, Ricky”, his boyfriend said without any emotion on his face. “Like I’m going to a lower-class establishment! Eew.”

“Where will you go then?”

“Different places.”

“Like?”

“God, Ricky, I feel like I have to justify myself right now.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but you can’t blame me for being nervous about this. You take James and Liam along, those two guys you are very attracted to-“
Alfie rolled his eyes but Ricky ignored it and continued. “And you are deliberately keeping me out. So of course I’m suspicious.”

“First of all, I just want to hang out with my two best friends, there is nothing wrong with that-“

“Yes, there’s nothing wrong with that when normal people hang out with their best mates but you happen to be someone who tries to get into his best mates’ trousers. So there is a bit of a difference here.”

Alfie let out a dry chuckle. “Don’t be a drama queen, Ricky. James would never let me get into his trousers, believe me. We grew up together, we went to school together, I tried…but he never let me, no matter how persistent I was. And besides, I’m not trying anyway because I accept that he doesn’t want it.”

“Wow, that doesn’t sound like you at all”, Ricky mumbled cynically.

Alfie shrugged his shoulders while he continued smoking. “I don’t want to mess up things with James. And Liam…well, we all know how desperately he tries to play the straight card, so I’ll let him continue with his straight act, being the devoted husband and father, until he comes to his senses.”

Ricky shook his head. He thought it was ridiculous how hard Alfie persisted on the fact that Liam was in fact gay and secretly hiding it. Ricky knew how much Liam adored his wife and enjoyed being her husband, there was no way he was just ‘playing’ that part.

“I understand that you want to spend time with your friends, that’s not the problem. I just don’t understand why you have to exclude me. I like Liam and James, I wouldn’t mind hanging out with them either.”

Alfie took a moment before he answered. “I hate to say this but you would be a killjoy.”

Ricky looked hurt, he didn’t even try to hide it.

“Come on, Ricky! We will go to various bars and clubs, and you are…well…you’re not the kind of guy who likes these places. You can’t keep any alcohol down, so after one glass of whatever I would probably find you puking your guts out in the bathroom. And we have conversations that make you uncomfortable and then you would be all awkward, like you often are when you are uncomfortable, and James, who is very considerate, would most likely insist on talking about light things, like school and literature and the weather, so that you don’t feel so out of place. Do you get the point? I just want an evening with my friends and not worry that you might get drunk or uncomfortable or God knows what.”

Ricky stared at his knees. “Okay.” His voice sounded fragile and Alfie started to feel guilty, which annoyed him because he didn’t want to feel guilty about being out with his best friends.
“So I guess I’m just going to stay here and watch some of the dance competitions that I recorded”, Ricky mumbled. “Now that I finally have the time to watch it…”

Alfie sighed. “No, silly, you will not because I already made sure that you and Miss Girlscout spend the weekend at a spa in Brighton.”

Ricky looked up, obviously surprised. “What?”

“You and Josephine will leave tomorrow after you are both finished with work and stay in a five-star hotel and spa. They have all the things you like, even that weird water with the cucumber stuff in it. I hate that shit but I know you like this ridiculous cucumber water. And they have massages, which, of course, I made sure that I booked you with female masseuses so don’t even think of getting touched by other men.”

“Wait…does Jo even know about this? I mean, she has two children, she can’t just take off, especially since Liam won’t be there.”

“Do you think I’m stupid? Of course she knows it. I called her so that she had enough time to find a place for her brats to stay. They will be with Liam’s hot pianist Daddy.”

Ricky raised an eyebrow. “I see.”

Alfie got himself a glass of whiskey and sat down next to Ricky, holding the cigar in a different direction because he knew Ricky didn’t like the smoke.
“Is that okay for you?”

A tiny smile appeared on Ricky’s face. “That sounds lovely, actually.”

“I thought you would like it. And trust me, you will have more fun with your little girlfriend, drinking disgusting cucumber water, than being out with me and the guys.”

Ricky nodded. “I know. A spa sounds nice.”

Alfie planted a kiss on Ricky’s soft hair. “And don’t flirt with any other guy.”

Ricky would like to say the same but he knew that he couldn’t stop Alfie from being himself. He knew that his boyfriend would always have this side about him that not even Ricky could change.


48 hours later

Liam opened his eyes slowly when he felt something picking his hair. For a brief moment he thought it was Jo playing with his hair but as he turned his head slightly he stared into the eyes of a goat.
What.The.Hell….?!
Liam was still so beside himself, he didn’t even know if he was still dreaming or not. He wanted to close his eyes and continue sleeping but this persistent goat kept nibbling his hair until it actually pulled it so hard that it hurt.
“Ouch!” Liam sat up, completely dizzy. He stared at the goat and that’s when he realised that the animal was real. He was no longer dreaming…
“What…?” He looked around, trying to find out where he was. He assumed that he had been sleeping on the cold floor the entire time and now he slowly started to recognise the place.
Alfie’s flat… But something was off- and it was not just the goat. Alfie’s usually so tidy flat was a complete mess. Pictures were no longer straight on the wall, pillows were everywhere, feathers- probably from the pillows, maybe even from actual birds-, and a whole lot more mess. It looked like a massive group of first-year university students had a party in here.
Liam got up slowly, his head still spinning like a carousel. What happened to this place? What was going on?
He suddenly noticed something else. As he looked down he realises that he was wearing a dress- and nothing else. Liam needed a moment, his head wasn’t proper working yet. Why was he wearing a girl’s dress with flowers on it? To whom did this dress belong to?

“What the fuck happened?”

48 hours earlier
“Liam I don’t want you not to go but the way Alfie called me and ordered me to go with Ricky to Brighton? It was… he sounded like I am no other than one of his servants.” Jo was packing a small suitcase while Liam watched her.

“But he didn’t say anything… inappropriate to you, did he?” Liam looked concerned at her he knew that she still was physical attracted to Alfie, even though she hadn’t mentioned any dreams about his best friend anymore.

“No he said nothing. He was just his usual rude.” Jo crawled on the bed and kissed him. “You not gonna do anything stupid will you?”

“No I will not. I spoke to dad; he said the girls are with Gracie in the garden. They are going to have a barbecue and the girls are very excited about the idea, even Jane is relaxed about the idea eating outside. Dad said she is having a good day.”

“Will you call me?” Jo whispered sounding very needy. Liam grinned and kissed her.

“You know we have a little bit before Alfie’s driver is picking up James and me.” Liam grinned and kissed his wife.

“Liam! Are you saying you think what I am saying?” Jo giggled and pulled him on the bed. “In the bedroom how unusual.”

Liam laughed. “Yeah because my wife has this weird pleasure to do it at public places.”

Jo loved to play with Liam and to have a long foreplay but this time it was more fun for both of them to reach their climax as fast as possible.

“Will you miss me?” Jo played with Liam’s hair. Liam pulled her naked body closer to him.

“How can I not miss you?” He whispered.

“I want you to have a good time okay?”

“I promise and I hope you and Ricky have fun at Brighton.” Liam kissed Jo on top of her hair. “Maybe next weekend we can go with the girls to Brighton. The weather is nice and Jill would love to play at the beach and it will be good for Jane too.”

“I would like that, but there is so much to do for the graduation ceremony. Let us go once that is over. And then we have the whole summer to ourselves.”

Liam chuckled. “Yeah, because I have a smart wife. She had the idea to find summer school placements for all our pupils at other schools, colleges and universities.”

“I know this cleverness of me.” Jo laughed.

“I have to go the driver will be downstairs in a few minutes and that means Ricky will be here soon.” Liam Sat up and kissed Jo one more time. “You are so lovely!”

Jo blushed since she was still naked and a little sweaty. “I love you Liam!” Jo quickly got up and kissed Liam properly. “Sorry Little Lad, you got to wait for more.” Jo bent down and gave Liam’s half-erected penis a quick kiss.

Liam was right they were just dressed when Ricky knocked at the flat door. He was all prepared for a wonderful relaxing weekend with his favourite girlfriend. On the way to Waterfall Downs he had marked all the treatments and classes they could attend and he knew that Jo would love them all.


48 hours later in another corner of Oxford

Elizabeth was in the mental hospital in Bath and even though Colin still teaches at Oxford, he loved to spend so much time with Scotty.

“Sir, everything is ready. You just need to put on the kettle. I put the food in the conservatory.”

“Thank you, Mr Brown.” Colin looked at his valet and butler, he was a younger man -Mr Carson’s cousin-. Even after all those years, Colin never forgotten his first valet. “Please enjoy your afternoon.”

“Thank you Sir. I am going with some friends on a boat tour.”

Colin smiled and nodded when Mr Brown left. Colin was looking at an old photography album. He had shot most of them and he never stopped loving them. Back when he was a teenager he had developed a passion for photography, especially of all the wonderful things Arthur and his foundation accomplished.

“Hey old man?!” Scotty shouted from the door. “I have a surprise.”

Colin chuckled. “Look who is talking. Oh!” Colin looked surprised at Scotty’s guest. “Marge! You look wonderful.” He quickly stepped forward and let the older lady fall into his embrace. Marge was smiling while she hugged Colin back just as tightly.

“I remember when you embraced me like this the very first time.” Marge whispered into Colin’s chest. She was a small woman.

“Me too. It has been too long. Since I last saw you, but you are always so busy with your girls.” Colin let go of her and squeezed Scotty’s shoulder.

“I love them all as if they are my own. I feel like the mum of hundreds of girls. Oh I remember those albums.” Marge smiled widely, sat down and took the album Colin had just been looking at.

“I’ll be right back, you two sit down there is food in the conservatory. I just go and make some tea, and don’t worry Scotty I know how to make tea.” Colin patted Scotty’s shoulder as he walked away winking.

Marge was looking through the old photo albums and smiled seeing many pictures of Scotty and Arthur but also of young Elizabeth.

“She was such a beautiful woman. How is she doing Colin?” Marge asked Colin when he came back with the tea.

Colin sighed deeply. “They are trying a new medication to calm her down. She has horrible nightmares and… she has to be under constant supervision. I fear that one day she will succeed and take her life.”

“Oh Colin!” Marge quickly got up and hugged the tall man tightly. “You let me know if there is anything I can do right?”

“I don’t think any of us can do much. Keep her in your prayers. The Lord will help her.” Colin murmured.

The two men started chatting about Waterfall Downs -Scotty thought distracting Colin a little bit might be good for the man- while Marge watched Colin closely. No one noticed when the small woman got up and went in the small library. It took her just a few moments to find the book she was looking for. When she came back in the conservatory Colin and Scotty were looking out into the garden lost in thoughts. Marge smiled, opened the patio door and sat down next to it on the floor. Then she started reading. Colin smiled right away, he had read this book so many times through the door to her that he knew it by heart.

“It is good to see you both!” Colin said sounding more like the strong man, he was. “Would you like to come with me this week and visit Elizabeth? I’m sure she would like that. She was always fond of you Marge and you Scotty, which woman wasn’t?” All laughed. Scotty was always a very attractive man and back in their youth Elizabeth always said when she wouldn’t have met Colin she would have fallen head over heels for Scotty and join a Coventry heartbroken because he can never love her back the same way.

“I would love to Colin. If you don’t mind, I would like to take some of my girls. They always enjoy to get out into the community and help were they can and I am sure the patients would enjoy some visitors that distract them a little bit.”

“Oh that is a lovely idea. Yes please do so.” Colin was smiling broadly. “What about you Scotty?”

“I have to see that the foundation is running smoothly but I think it would be good. Maybe now I can finally win Elizabeth’s heart back. I miss her adoring me.” Scotty chuckled.

“I was actually thinking Scotty, what would you say if I ask you if there is anything Elizabeth can do in the foundation.”

“Where have you been hiding her, I always need help and I am sure she will keep my staff right. I have a few preparing a missionary visit to Africa, I’m sure she would enjoy helping them.”

Colin nodded. “She certainly would. If her health would not be so unstable I would ask her if she would like to do missionary work herself, but I don’t think it will be safe. I would not know what to do if she has one of her psychotic episodes. No she is safer here, but I will go with her to Madeira this summer for a month or two.”

“That will do her good and you too. But you will miss Jo terribly.” Marge said matter of factly.

“I will and the twins and Liam, he has a special place in my heart.”

“It seems common in your family to adopt other people’s children.”

“Certainly. And Jo is following the family line. Did you meet Dan yet? Lorelai adopted him a while back, his parents neglected and abused him because he is homosexual.”

Marge froze but Colin quickly put an arm around her small frame. “He is perfectly safe now with Lorelai, got chosen by his fellow students to give the graduation speech and is going to become a teacher himself. But Jo adopted him first when she saw him in his old school eating all by himself in the library while he read a book none of his fellow pupils or teacher would touch. It is the family motto of life: ‘Faith, Hope, Love abide these three…’”

Scotty smiled, he remembered when Lady Jo gave him a little wooden sign saying this. It was the day she brought all those things for his little room in London. When she hugged him tightly and said. “I love you, son.” She knew his family just abandoned him. Not for nothing had to move in at Waterfall Downs before he went to London, but she never openly called him son.

“I totally forgot I was meant to give this to you a while ago, Scotty.” Colin jumped up hurried into the library and came back with a beautiful wooden box, engraved with Celtic symbols. “Mamma thought it would be good to give it as much protection as she could.”

Colin handed Scotty the box it was rather heavy and when Scotty opened the box he was surprised to find around two hundred letters. “Mamma and Papa too wrote to you, at least once a week. All letters have the date on the outside so you can read it in order. She never knew where to send the letters, she tried a few times to contact you in France but once the telegrams were not received, she stopped. And just kept the letters in this box. She knew you would come home one day, and I had to swear to her to make sure you get these letters.”

Marge looked gentle at Scotty. She knew what this present meant. When Arthur had passed away, she had received a letter attached with two cheques one for her and one for the girls’ home. The keeps the letter safe and whenever she doesn’t know where to go anymore she reads this letter, a letter she would not even share with Scotty. It was a deeply personal letter written by Arthur with his own hand sealed in two envelopes so that Marge knew that the inner envelope was never touched by anyone but Arthur and herself. This letter was her most valuable passion. Therefore, she understood what all these letters of Lady Jo and Lord Ben meant to Scotty.

“What a wonderful thing of Mamma Jo to do. She was always so thoughtful.” Marge whispered.

“She was.” Colin said quietly. Scotty for once said nothing and looked at the letters. He took one out and it smelled like Lady Jo. It was as if Scotty just got a phone call from heaven, giving him answers he longed but would never get. Scotty put the letter very carefully back, closed the large box and nodded.

“She was!” For a moment Scotty had closed his eyes looking towards heaven. “Marge do me a favour and continue reading.”

Marge took his hand and continued reading, her favourite book on the whole wide world. The book in which she heard Arthur in every word… A little Princess

Liam let his eyes wander around the flat that looked like the circus had been here for a visit and let a gigantic mess behind- including a goat. He felt like he had been hit by numerous school busses. And why the hell was he wearing this dress?
After about fifteen minutes of standing there and slowly collecting himself, he started to walk around. He took one step at a time because he felt extremely dizzy. While he was walking around the living room he passed a mirror and froze when he saw his own reflection. His eyes were red, as if he had cried the whole night through, and there were dark shadows right under his eyes, making him look quite sick.
“God…”, was all he could say before he moved on. Why am I feeling so shitty?, he thought while he walked into Alfie’s gentleman’s room. He immediately stopped when he saw James on the floor, sleeping right next to the bar.
Thank God I’m not the only one looking like a mess! Liam approached his buddy and looked at him for a moment, wondering if he was alright. James was shirtless but at least he had his trousers on, so that was hopefully a good sign.
“Hey…” Liam carefully bent down and shook James’ shoulder. “Hey, are you awake? Hello?”

James squinted and turned his head toward Liam. “What the…?” He squinted once more, not sure if he was seeing right. “Why are you still wearing this shit?”

“I don’t even know why I’m wearing this dress in the first place”, Liam mumbled.

James sat up slowly. “Man, you look like shit.”

“So do you.”

James scratched his head and closed his eyes briefly, gathering himself. “I thought I still got it but boy, I’m too old for this kind of crap.”

“For what?”

“Drinking like that. I’m really getting too old for this.” He tried to get up but almost lost his balance so Liam grabbed his arm and helped him up.

“Is that what happened?”, Liam asked. “We all drank too much?”

James blinked. “You can’t remember what happened? At all?”

“Not a bit. I barely remembered my own name when I woke up.”

“Wow. I actually envy you”, James sighed.

“I didn’t make out with any of you guys, did I?”

James didn’t respond at first, then he cleared his throat. “We better look for Alfie.”

“Did I?!”Liam’s voice started to sound hilariously high-pitched, almost like Ricky.

James just walked out of the room but immediately froze. “Liam…”

“Hm?”

“What is Mr Balls doing here?”

“Who?”

“Mr Balls!” James pointed at the goat.

“This thing has a name?” Liam raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, we named him last night. But I can’t remember that we took him with us. What the hell? We stole an innocent goat!”

Liam shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t ask me. I don’t remember shit. I don’t even know why the bloody hell I’m in this dress.”

“Oh, Julie Andrews gave it to you in the club last night. You don’t remember Julie?”

Liam stared at James as if he just told him that he was brain-amputated. “Julie Andrews?”, he repeated slowly. “As in Many Poppins? Mary bloody Poppins gave me a dress?”

James let out a laugh. “No, of course not the real one! Julie Andrews the drag queen. She’s quite famous around here.”

Liam still stared at him. “Why did a drag queen give me her dress?”

“One of the clubs we went to yesterday had a drag queen night. We didn’t know that but well, we stayed there and watched the show anyway, which was absolutely brilliant. We also had really nice conversations with these ladies. Well you and I did…Alfie just let Barbra Streisand blow him. Not the real one, of course. But yeah, Julie Andrews really liked you and you liked her. Before we left the club she gave you that dress and said that you would look lovely in it and should also try a little makeup once in a while, especially to emphasise your gorgeous blue eyes. Her words, not mine.”

Liam didn’t even blink. “What…the…hell?”

James just shrugged. “You two really got along well. But no worries, you didn’t make out with him…em, her.”

“What a relief”, Liam mumbled sarcastically. “Speaking of which…you still haven’t answered my question if I made out with one of you, so-“

“Let’s look for Alfie!”, James almost shouted and quickly turned away from the other boy.

“James, seriously! What happened?” He followed him upstairs.

“Alfie, are you here?”, James shouted. “Al - oh, there he is.”

“Is he okay?”, Liam asked.

“He sure is.” James smirked.

“Ah!” Liam immediately turned away. “He’s naked!”

“Are you seriously surprised about that?”, James asked dryly, then he moved towards the bed and shook Alfie’s shoulder. He had seen his best friend more often naked than he had seen himself, so he was really immune to it. “Hey man, wake up!” He punched Alfie’s shoulder until he finally opened his eyes.

“The fuck?!”, Alfie snapped.

“Good morning, Sunshine!”

“Shut up, asshole.”

“You’re always so charming in the morning, dear.” James smiled sweetly at him and then punched his shoulder again.

“I’m going to stuff a bloody bagpipe down your throat, Scotsman!”

“I love you too.”

“Jesus Christ!” Alfie sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked quite rough as well but then he noticed Liam and an amused grin crossed his face. “Little Man…”

“Why is he grinning at me like that?”, Liam whispered nervously to James. “Make him stop.”

“You were quite the hit of last night’s party”, Alfie said, still grinning.

“Why? Because I became friends with a drag Julie Andrews?”

“No, not that! I mean afterwards.”

“Liam doesn’t remember anything”, James mentioned quickly.

“What?” Alfie crossed his arms behind his head. “That’s a pity, Little Man. You had the time of your life.”

“Why? What happened?”, Liam asked nervously. He actually wasn’t quite sure if he really wanted to know what happened.

“We were all drunk, sure, but you…boy, you were bloody wasted! You had that dress on that you’re still wearing and you took off your boxers and-“

“Alfie, maybe you shouldn’t tell Liam about that”, James quickly interrupted. “I mean-“

“What the fuck did I do?” Liam ignored James and only looked at Alfie- well, at the upper part of him, he didn’t dare to look further down.

Alfie chuckled. “I just want to emphasise that I didn’t make you do anything, you were the one coming on to me.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Like I said, you were completely wasted although you had less drinks than James and me but hey, it’s not a secret that you and alcohol don’t mix well together. Anyway, you said you wanted your ‘Little lad’ to breathe and at first I didn’t know what you meant by that but then I realised you were talking about your cock, and you took off your boxers and you and James were doing some weird Scottish dance thing-“

“Caleigh”, James said calmly when Liam looked in his direction. “And we still had our clothes on, no worries.”

“And then you decided to sit down on my lap”, Alfie continued very matter-of-factly. “And asked me if I could take a look at your ‘Little lad’ because you’re not sure if it’s big enough and if your little wifey could be satisfied by it, so I looked at it…”

“I’m gonna be sick…”, Liam mumbled, actually not exaggerating.

“Come on, Little Man, it was only a matter of time when I could finally see it and if it makes you feel better, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I’m very sure that little wifey of yours gets plenty of pleasure. And I’m getting hard just thinking of it…”

“Okay!” James clapped his hands. “I say we just leave that behind us. Nobody made out with anyone, so Liam, you don’t have to feel bad. How about I’ll see if I can fix some breakfast for us and maybe we’ll all feel better after that.”

Alfie got up now but Liam didn’t even turn away. He was still in shock and didn’t move at all.

“Geez, man, put something on”, James said.

“Why? Like it bothers you…”

“Dude, I’m used to it but your dear friend over here probably prefers you with clothes on.”

“Really?”, Alfie asked teasingly. Liam still didn’t move. “Well…” Alfie walked around the bed to get to the bathroom and get his bathrobe, which he put on but didn’t close.

“I’m pretty sure Ricky would also appreciate it if you are dressed now and then while he’s home”, James said cynically.

“You don’t know shit.” Alfie grinned. “I give him plenty of pleasure.”

“I’m actually surprised that he’s not terrified of your enormous thing.”

“Terrified?”, Alfie repeated with an amused grin. “I don’t think so. You have no idea how much pleasure my ‘enormous thing’ gives him when I shove it up his tight little milkmaid a-“

“I’m gonna throw up!”, Liam exclaimed, quickly covering his mouth.

“Go in the bathroom, for fuck’s sake! The carpet is Venetian!”, Alfie shouted while Liam turned away and ran directly into the bathroom. “And don’t make a mess. The cleaning lady isn’t coming until Monday and I don’t want your puke on my marble tiles.” Alfie sighed and turned to James. “Let’s go downstairs, I could really use a drink.”

His friend stared at him in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me? I can’t look at alcohol for at least ten years.”

“Pussy.” Alfie rolled his eyes, went downstairs and filled himself a glass of whiskey while James went into the kitchen to start with the breakfast, although he was sure that nobody was really hungry at the moment.

“What the hell?!”, he hard Alfie shouting from the living room.

“What?” James appeared behind him.

“What the fuck is this beast doing in here?”

“Oh, you found Mr Balls.” James couldn’t hold back a laugh anymore. “Well, my friend…I do remember most of last night, how we went to different clubs, made friends with drag queens, got horribly wasted, kind of messed up your flat while dancing to Ricky’s Beatles records…but I have only one blank from last night and that is Mr Balls. I remember that we saw him on a field somewhere but I can’t remember that we actually took him up to your flat. I just wonder how we carried him up all those stairs. Maybe we used the lift?”

Alfie stared at the goat as if he wanted to slaughter it with his bare hands, right here and now. “Well, you get this piece of shit out of my flat or I’m going to throw it out of the window. I mean it!”

James walked towards the goat and petted its head gently. “It’s okay, Mr Balls. Alfie may seem grumpy on the outside, but he’s a really good man on the inside.”

“Fuck you.”

James smiled at the goat. “See. I told you.”