The Bachelor looked his TARDIS square in the eye. “Alright, lad, enough games.” He made sure to add under his breath, “I AM with lady, you know.” He knocked on the door with authority.
“Password?—Oh, it’s you again.”
“Police. I demand to see your manager.”
“Get lost!”
The Bachelor snorted as the panel was shut in his face again. He forced a smile at Sara and knocked again.
“Pass—oh, God—“
“Swordfish!” the Bachelor cried out triumphantly.
“Swordfish? Really?” the man behind the door disappeared into the darkness to laugh.
“It’s a perfectly legitimate guess!” he inisisted, before the panel slid shut again. He cracked his knuckles, hopped from one foot to the other, wiggled his fingers, took a deep breath, and knocked.
“Look, pal, if you don’t scram I’m gonna come out there and cripple ya—“
“Oh, yeah, big tough guy, eh? Wise guy, eh?” the Bachelor said, still jumping from foot to foot but now more nervous than anything. “Big man hiding behind a door—“
“Oh, no, I’m not falling for that, either!”
The Bachelor deflated. “Oh, please?” he begged. Before the man behind the door could stop him he put his fingers over the lip of the hole and pulled himself up, sticking his nose inside. “I’m just trying to impress my friend here—and I don’t think she thinks I’m a man yet, if you know what I mean, and I really gotta impress her! Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“No.”
“Then you know what its like to be lonely!” the Bachelor said, his voice cracking. “Please?”
“Come on, you can’t expect me to—“
“Pleeeeeease?”
“Seriously, pal—“
“
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease????”
“Oh—fine! But if you cause any trouble—“
But when the door opened the Bachelor just gave the doorman a big hug and skipped inside, dragging a bemused Sara along with him. What he saw inside made the Bachelor even more excited.
The room was packed with people, all with drinks in their hands, all having a good time. A couple of scantily-clad ladies were making the rounds with glasses of champagne. The TARDIS’s bar was being manned by several sober-looking bartenders.
“Did…someone just turn your TARDIS into a speakeasy?” Sara asked bewildered.
The Bachelor was practically bouncing for joy. “Ohmygodohmygodohmy—There’s dancers over there! Exotic ones too! You can almost see their—“
“Yes, I see,” Sara said, steering the Bachelor away. “Now will you pay attention for five seconds? Surely this many people aren’t allowed in a—“ here she lowered her voice to a whisper, “—in a time machine. And who got in your TARDIS, in the first place?”
“Someone must have gotten in with the key,” the Bachelor mused, his gaze automatically rotating back to the dancers. When Sara again blocked his path he mentally brought himself back to reality—what good were dancers when he had a perfectly great partner right here!
“I have an idea!” he said. “Why don’t we get ourselves a couple of drinks, and mingle, and see if we can’t find out who exactly broke in to my TARDIS!” he thought it sounded pretty legitimate. “We can pretend to be married and—or not!” he finished quickly when he saw Sara glare at him.
“Alright. You’re buying,” she said, dragging him towards the familiar bar, and he didn’t bother mentioning that he expected to get drinks for free here. Thankfully the TARDIS seemed to be behaving itself, and it was staying stationary with every pull of the handles.
“What’ll it be?” the barman asked.
“I’ll have a gin and tonic, and--?” he turned to Sara, who was looking at the menu chalked up on the board behind the man. She glanced down the bar in irritation, when suddenly her expression brightened.
“What’s that drink he’s having?” she asked, pointing to a man who was drinking a tall glass of tawny, iced liquid.
“Long Island Iced Tea,” the barman said.
“Perfect! I’ll have that!”
“Sara!” the Bachelor shouted completely on instinct. “You can’t have that!”
“What, just because
you want to get me drunk, doesn’t mean I’m going to,” Sara said, squaring her shoulders menacingly at the Bachelor as the bartender mixed her drink behind her back. “Tea is just what the doctor ordered.”
“But—but that’s not—“
She held up a threatening finger, and the Bachelor immediately shut up. She very civilly turned around and took the glass from the bartender with a sweet “thank you,” gave one more glare at the Bachelor, daring him to say anything, before she stalked off. The Bachelor sheepishly followed after her.
***
Long Island Iced Tea: (Not for the faint of heart or stomach)
1 part vodka
1 part tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coca-Cola® (presumably, after they stopped putting coke in the Coke, if you know what I mean...)
ice
lemon wedges
Shake the alcohols, pour over ice, top with cola, garnish with lemon.
(from
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink590.html#ixzz2Aeet8Xgo)